by Rye Hart
But just as I was about to grab my phone off my desk, I stopped myself. Getting into yet another fight with my brother wouldn’t help anything. Things between Julie and I were already up in the air. I hadn’t heard her voice in over twenty-four hours, and it was killing me.
Instead of calling Josh, I called Julie again. The phone rang a few times before she finally picked up.
“Hello?” she said. Her tone was soft, almost nervous.
“Hey, you,” I said. “I’ve been trying to call you all morning.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m sorry. Work’s been insane since you left yesterday.”
“Did you get a new assignment?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Julie said. I waited for her to continue, to give me something else to go on, but she didn’t.
We sat on the phone, neither saying a word, for what felt like an hour. Every time I opened my mouth to speak, I closed it again for fear of sounding stupid.
“Well,” I said. “I guess I should let you get back to it.”
“I’m sorry,” Julie said again. “Once I get this article finished, I’ll call you, okay?”
“Sure,” I said. “Take your time.”
“Thanks.”
Julie hung up, and I tossed my phone back on my desk. Nothing about this felt right. Josh screaming at me. Julie avoiding me. Everything was all wrong.
When I first saw Julie sitting at the café in town, I never thought I would fall so hard for her. She was gorgeous, beautiful in a way I’d never seen before, but that wasn’t what drew me in. Every word that came out of her mouth leaked wit and intelligence. She was graceful, elegant, and poised in every situation. She was everything I admired in a woman and more.
The thought of our relationship ending already was heart-wrenching. There were still so many things I wanted to tell her, so many experiences I wanted to share with her. The tree lighting in the town square was just the beginning. It wasn’t enough. The short time we’d already spent together wasn’t enough. I needed more.
“Marcy?” I called. I heard her chair squeak as she sprung up and hurried into my office.
“Yes?” she asked.
“Do I have any meetings scheduled for this afternoon?” I asked.
“No,” Marcy said, shaking her head. “You’re free until tomorrow morning.”
“Thank you,” I said. “Hold all my calls for the rest of the day, okay? I’ll return messages first thing in the morning.”
“Okay.” Marcy nodded and hurried back to her desk.
For a split second, I felt guilty about running out on work for the second day in a row. Even though I came back to the office yesterday, I still shouldn’t just leave at the drop of a hat. And yet, the guilt wasn’t strong enough to keep me there.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I told Marcy on my way out.
“Where are you heading, Mr. Smart?” Marcy asked curiously.
“I want to pick up something for Julie,” I said. “A little gift or something.”
“Try Annabelle’s,” Marcy said. “She has really cute stuff this time of year.”
“I’ll do that,” I said with a smile. “Thanks, Marcy.”
Marcy smiled back as I slipped out the front door. I thought about driving into town, but the cold air felt amazing on my flushed cheeks. My emotions were still running high, making my body feel hot and sweaty. The chill in the winter air cooled my body and relaxed my mind. I took in a deep breath and held it tightly in my lungs, enjoying the cold burn that flooded my body. When I finally exhaled, my head felt clear.
I walked through town, stopping in at every shop I passed. Annabelle’s was my last stop of the day, and I wanted to check everywhere else first. If I found a few things for Julie, then I would buy them all and choose the best one later. This was too important to do halfway.
As I shopped, I realized just how much I loved living in Ennis. The town square was full of unique shops. I stopped in at the handmade plate shop and browsed for a while. There wasn’t anything for Julie, but it was still nice to spend time just hanging out in town.
When I finally made it to Annabelle’s, I knew Marcy had been right. The first thing I saw was a line of handmade jewelry. I moved quickly to the display and began thumbing through the necklaces. A few caught my eye, but nothing seemed like Julie.
“Can I help you with anything?” Annabelle said from behind me.
I spun around to see the kind old woman standing there. She smiled at me and patted my arm as we turned back to the jewelry display.
“Who are you buying for today?” she asked.
“Julie,” I said. “She’s new in town. I don’t know if you’ve met her yet, but—”
“Julie Black?” Annabelle asked. “She came in just a few days ago to buy a gift for her sister. She seems like a nice girl.”
“She’s amazing,” I said quickly. “And I want to get her something equally amazing.”
“Jewelry?” Annabelle asked.
“Anything,” I said.
Annabelle nodded and made her way toward the back of the shop. I followed her slowly, wondering what she was looking for.
She ducked behind the counter for a few seconds. When she returned, she was carrying a closed box. It was plain with no writing or images on the front. Annabelle set it on the counter and opened it gently.
“What is it?” I asked, taking a step closer.
“I’ve had this hidden away for years,” Annabelle said. “But it might be what you’re looking for.”
From inside the box, Annabelle pulled out a crystal Christmas tree that sparkled in the shop lights. It was beautiful, and the second I saw it, I remembered kissing Julie in front of the Christmas tree in the town square. It was the perfect gift.
CHAPTER 21
JULIE
Michael tried to see me twice on Wednesday, but I just wasn’t ready. If I saw him, I knew I would tell him everything about my plan to see Joshua. I wouldn’t be able to keep it from him if we were in the same room. Deep down, I knew it was a mistake to hide this, but I didn’t know what else to do. If Michael insisted I not see Joshua, then what? Would I listen? Would I ignore him and do it anyway?
It was easier to just push Michael to the side for a couple of days. All I needed to do was get through this dinner with Joshua— just one more dinner—and then, everything could go back to normal between Michael and me.
As much as I told myself everything would be okay, I was still shaking from head to toe when I got behind the wheel of my car that night. Joshua wanted to meet in Dallas because of his residency schedule. I didn’t mind. The drive would help me clear my head and prepare me for seeing him again.
Still, when I parked my car outside of the restaurant, I didn’t get out right away. I clung to the steering wheel and took a few deep, calming breaths. My nerves were a mess and they had been for days. Nothing I did helped me calm down. I only hoped that, after talking to Joshua, I would feel somewhat better about our situation.
I planned to drive straight to Michael’s house after dinner. After I heard what Joshua had to say, I would tell Michael everything. I didn’t want any secrets between us, but I also knew I needed to deal with Joshua before things could progress with Michael.
With my hands still trembling, I shoved open my car door and made my way inside. I stuffed my hands into my coat pockets when I saw Joshua sitting at a table in the back. The last thing I needed was for him to see me shaking.
“Hey,” I said when I stepped up to the table.
“Hi.” Joshua smiled and jumped up quickly. He moved toward me as if he wanted a hug, but I sank into my chair before he could reach me.
I was willing to talk to him, but I wasn’t willing to hug him like nothing ever happened between us. Joshua’s face fell but he quickly recovered and sat back down. His smile was familiar and sweet. He looked like he was genuinely happy to see me, which was not what I’d been expecting. Not after all the ugly accusations he’d hurled at me the other night.
“Thank y
ou for coming,” Joshua said. “I didn’t think you would.”
“Neither did I,” I said honestly. “But you said you wanted to talk.”
“I do,” Joshua said with a nod. “Let’s order first.”
“Okay.”
Our waiter came over a few minutes later. We ordered our food and then fell into an uncomfortable silence. Joshua stared at my face, barely looking anywhere else. My eyes scanned the room slowly. I found it hard to meet Joshua’s gaze.
“So,” I finally said. “Tell me. What did you want to talk about?”
“I still love you.”
Joshua’s confession was blunt and unapologetic. I jerked my head up and stared at him in disbelief. His dark blue eyes were the exact shape and color as Michael’s. I didn’t know how I’d missed it before.
“You’re not serious,” I scoffed.
“Of course, I am,” Joshua said. His voice was soft and gentle. He leaned forward, resting his hands on the table. “I still love you, and I think we made a huge mistake when we broke up.”
“You dumped me,” I said firmly. “We didn’t break up, Joshua. You dumped me without a second thought.”
“That’s not true,” Joshua said. “I was torn. Ending things with you was the hardest decision of my life.”
“Then, why did you do it?” I asked boldly. “If it was so damn hard, why do it at all?”
“Because…” he said, trailing off slowly. “I thought it was for the best. My life became so hectic and insane. With my residency starting, I just thought it would be better if I let you go.”
“That’s bullshit,” I said.
“It’s not,” Joshua said. “It’s the truth.”
“Well, it doesn’t work that way,” I said. I was so angry that my vision was blurry. “You can’t just come crawling back after I’ve moved on and expect me to jump at the chance to be with you again.”
“Moved on?” Joshua asked with a laugh. “You mean, my brother?”
“Look,” I said. “I’m sorry if it’s weird for you. Okay? It’s weird for me too. And for Michael. But I really like him.”
Joshua glared and sat back in his chair. All the kindness vanished from his face. Suddenly, he was the same Joshua I remembered. The same guy who broke my heart into a thousand pieces and then sent me on my way.
“You don’t even know him,” Joshua said.
“That’s not true,” I said. “We may have only known each other for a short time, but I do know him. We have a connection and—”
“A connection?” Joshua scoffed. “Julie, you and I have two years’ worth of history. We were in love. We practically lived together. We had a real relationship. You and Michael, you don’t have anything.”
“It’s new,” I said. “But that doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”
“And you think he feels the same way?” Joshua asked. “You really believe he cares about you?”
“Yes,” I said firmly. “I do.”
Joshua shook his head and laughed darkly. He looked away from me as if he couldn’t stand the sight of me for another second. I thought about leaving, just standing up and walking outside, but I felt frozen in place. There was something about Joshua that sparked all my insecurities. With just one conversation, he already had me doubting myself.
Maybe he was right. Maybe things between Michael and me weren’t as serious as I believed. Maybe it was all just some casual fling. Maybe Michael never wanted anything real with me.
“I’m sorry if this hurts you,” I said. I was no longer angry, but I wasn’t going to cave. “But I like Michael and he likes me. We’re together, and you’re just going to have to get used to that.”
“I can’t believe you would sink this low,” Joshua said. He shook his head again and glared at me. I’d never seen so much anger in his eyes.
“What is so bad about what I did?” I asked. “I moved to Ennis, Joshua. And when I did, I met Michael. Where is the harm in that?”
“You’re dating my brother!” Joshua said. “After everything you and I went through together, you’re sleeping with my brother. That’s so fucked up, Julie.”
“I didn’t know who he was,” I said. My anger was beginning to come back. “You ended things with me, remember? You broke my heart. I left town to try and get over you. And you know what? It worked. I did. I got over you, and I moved on. I’m sorry that it just so happened to be with your brother.”
“You had to have known who he was,” Joshua said. “You did this just to get back at me.”
“No.” I shook my head. “Trust me. I never would have gone out with Michael if I knew who he was. But I didn’t know. And I did go out with him. And I don’t regret it.”
“Why the hell not?” Joshua asked. He was furious now. He wasn’t used to being told no, especially when it came to me.
“Because he’s amazing,” I said.
“You really had no idea who he was?” Joshua asked skeptically. “No clue?”
“How would I have known?” I asked, frustrated now. “You never let me meet him. Even after I helped you find him, you refused to let me be involved. I never even knew his name, Joshua.”
Joshua glared at me, trying to decide whether he believed me. He didn’t want to. It was easier for him to be angry if he thought I was being malicious.
“Well,” he said. “Michael sure as hell knew.”
I blinked. “What?”
“You may not have known who Michael was,” Joshua said slowly. “But he knew about you from the very beginning.”
Before I could even process his words, my head was shaking from side to side. He was wrong. There was no way Michael knew I was Joshua’s ex. It wasn’t possible. When we met, he was just a stranger in a café. I was just some girl he saw. He never knew I was connected to his brother. He couldn’t have.
“You’re lying,” I said boldly. “Michael told me he didn’t know who I was. After we had dinner with you, he said he didn’t know.”
“He lied to you,” Joshua said simply. “Michael’s known about you since he and I first met.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said.
“You don’t have to,” Joshua said. A satisfied grin spread across his face. I longed to reach across the table and slap him.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked weakly. “Because I said no? Because I’ve moved on? Because I’m happy without you?”
“No.” The smile fell from his face. “Because it’s the truth, Julie.”
“It’s not.” It couldn’t be. I refused to believe him.
“Look,” Joshua said. “When I said I still love you, I meant it. I love you, Julie. I always have, and I think I probably always will. Nothing can change that.”
“That doesn’t matter anymore,” I snapped. “Not to me.”
“Maybe not,” Joshua said. “But it means I wouldn’t lie to you. I just wouldn’t.”
I stared at him in disbelief. Why was he doing this to me? After he broke my heart, I spent so long just trying to crawl out of my hole. When I finally did, I felt stronger and more like myself. Meeting Michael was a breath of fresh air. It was like the universe had given me a gift. Now, Joshua was hellbent on taking that away from me.
“Michael wouldn’t lie to me,” I said weakly.
“He did.” Joshua’s voice was firm. “When he and I first met, I told him all about you. He knew your name, Julie. First and last. He even told me he looked you up on Facebook, so he knew what you looked like, long before you ever stepped foot in Ennis.”
I shook my head slowly. This was insane.
“No,” I said.
“I’m sorry,” Joshua said softly. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but you should know the truth.”
I couldn’t listen to another word. I jumped out of my chair, leaving my food untouched. Without looking back, I ran out of the restaurant and didn’t stop until I reached my car. I slid myself behind the wheel and cranked the engine. As I sped out of the parking lot, I caught a glimpse of Joshua hurrying ou
tside. I didn’t slow down. I pressed harder on the gas and disappeared around the corner.
My heart was racing in my chest as I hurried toward home. I’d planned to go to Michael’s immediately after my dinner with Joshua. I wanted to see him, to talk to him, to kiss him. I just wanted to be with him without the memory of his brother hanging over our heads.
Instead, I knew I couldn’t see him. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
As much as I wanted to ignore Joshua’s words, I couldn’t. I knew Joshua almost as well as I knew myself. He wasn’t lying. He was telling me the truth.
My stomach churned painfully as I continued to race toward home. Just a few days ago, my life felt perfect. I had a job, a great house, and a great guy. Everything had finally fallen into place. Now, I couldn’t stop things from spinning out of control.
CHAPTER 22
MICHAEL
Friday was the longest day of my life. I planned to drop by Julie’s house after work that day. Christmas was right around the corner, and I wanted to give her the gift I’d found at Annabelle’s. She still hadn’t called me, so I assumed her article was taking longer than she expected. Still, I couldn’t wait another day to see her. So, when five o’clock hit, I ran out of the office and hurried home to grab Julie’s present.
I took a quick shower and got dressed, hoping Julie would either ask me to stay or want to go out to dinner. Either way, I didn’t care. I just wanted to spend time with her. This week had been terrible. Between the drama with Josh and the distance between Julie and me, I was miserable. Work sucked, too. All I wanted was to bury myself in Julie and let the rest of the world disappear around us. I only hoped she felt the same way.
As I drove through town, I kept a firm hand on the crystal Christmas tree. It was safely tucked away inside its box, but I didn’t want to take any chances. Annabelle said she’d had it for years, so it was old and fragile. The last thing I needed was for it to break before I even made it to Julie’s front door.
I stopped right outside Julie’s house and stared at her front door. We hadn’t seen each other in days. I missed her so much that it made my chest ache with need. I threw open my door and grabbed the tree from the passenger seat. Tucking the box safely under my arm, I jogged up to the front door and rang the bell.