by Rye Hart
“Sorry you don’t like my plans.”
“If you’re serious about Bend, you need to remember your CIA training. It’s imperative that you blend in. And right now, you’re doing a shit job of it. People are already staring at us.”
“Because I’m new.”
“No. Probably because you pissed someone off,” he said.
“Not my fault people wanna talk and I don’t.”
“That’s the thing. You have to talk. If they want you to talk, then talk. If you don’t wanna talk, then get yourself an off-grid house and live alone.”
“You know I can’t do that until the job’s finished.”
“I hear you loud and clear. But you’ll be moving in another month if you don’t clean your act up,” he said.
“What the hell do you expect me to do?” I asked.
“Get a part-time job. Trim up that beard. You look homeless.”
“I am homeless.”
“You’re renting a house.
“Not what I meant,” I said flatly.
“Graham, I know you’re still hurting.”
“You have no fucking idea what I am right now.”
“Hey, I’m not here to harass you. But if you want this to work, you have to suck it the fuck up. You have to blend in. Get a job. Interact with people. Give them a reason not to think you’re a piece of shit they should be digging into,” he said.
I clenched my jaw as I looked around the diner, taking in the way people were darting their gazes back to their plates. I hated it, but I knew Daniel was right. I’d be forced out of this small town in Oregon before I could plant roots again if I gave people a reason to talk. But there wasn't much business around here that didn’t require interaction with people.
Except for mechanic work.
But I wasn’t sure if I could stomach that.
It made me think of Kason every time I worked on my truck.
“They got a mechanic shop around here?” Daniel asked.
“I hate that you can do that,” I said, cringing at how well my friend knew me.
“It’s the only other skill you’ve got. Unless you wanna open up a martial arts studio or something.”
“Or a gym.”
Daniel grinned at me, and I shook my head. I didn’t smile nowadays. I couldn’t. But Daniel got me close sometimes. I stared out the window as our waitress approached us and gave her my order so I could get the hell out of there.
“How’s the new place?” he asked.
“We’re really gonna do this?” I asked.
“Yep. How’s the new house?”
“Decent enough. The owners have already informed me they would be willing to do a ‘rent to own’ situation,” I said.
“See? Something to work toward.”
“I’m not planting roots here.”
“Why not?” he asked.
“Why should I?” I countered.
“Because you supposedly have a job to do. How can you do that job if you don’t have a home base to do it at?”
“Why did you come to town again?”
“To check up on you, Graham. You have a nasty habit of falling off the face of the planet. I see you still have that truck.”
“Had the tags changed and replaced. Not a problem,” I said. “And if you can track me, so can they.”
“Hardly. I haven’t worked for the CIA for three months now.”
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah. Got tired of their shit too. Too many missions failing for no reason and with no one giving any straight answers,” he said.
“Well, damn.”
“Went through their whole ‘we gotta debrief you so you don’t say shit’ thing and then got the hell outta dodge.”
“Where you set up now?” I asked.
“I’m working on it. DC isn’t my kind of area for long-term shit, but it’s got some nice wooded areas around it.”
“Forever the mountain man.”
“Says the man with a beard four inches long.”
“Don’t like it, don’t look at it,” I said.
“Kind of hard not to. I mean, it’s impressive.”
Our food came, and we shot the shit, updating each other on our lives. I didn’t have much to talk about, and Daniel was a motor-mouth. That’s how I preferred it.
“Sounds like you got a mission of your own,” I said when he finished telling all the reasons he’d stopped trusting the Agency.
“I’m working on it,” Daniel said. “But not like you are.”
“Still got your old contacts?”
“Always,” he said.
“When I get myself … immersed, think you could do me a few favors?”
I watched a mischievous grin spread across Daniel’s cheek as he picked up a french fry.
“Thought you’d never ask.”
CHAPTER 3
CINDY
Lillian’s first day of kindergarten arrived, and she kept trying on all her new outfits. She came running out and twirled around in them like she did when we went shopping the day before. Every time she smiled at me, her eyes would sparkle, and I’d be reminded that her father wasn’t here to witness how excited his princess was to go to school like a ‘big girl’.
He would’ve been so proud of her, of how grown up she looked in all her dresses. He would’ve praised her for putting her shoes on the right feet and getting her legs in the right pant holes. That had always been his task, getting her to dress herself. He’d been adamant about it because of how it helped her coordination.
And she was dressing herself as if it had never been an issue.
“How about this one, Mommy?”
I looked up and saw Lillian walk into the room wearing my favorite dress of hers. It had a ribbon around her waist tied off into a bow, and the fabric was a beautiful blue and pink and yellow floral print. She had on some blue flats with yellow socks, and she was holding a pink bow in her hand for me to put in her hair.
“Did you pick this out all by yourself?” I asked.
“Do you like it? Daddy taught me that if I wear a color on my body, I can also wear it other places too.”
I swallowed down some of my tears as I held my hand out for the bow.
She looked spectacular for her first day of school. I watched her grab her backpack and stand by the door, bouncing from foot to foot. I took one last look at her before I grabbed my purse and had her hold still for a few pictures for Aunt Nikki.
Then, we loaded ourselves up in the car.
I drove her to school and dropped her off, trying to ignore the humming of the back tires. As much as I hated my nosey neighbor, she was right. There was a humming noise, and it kept growing in volume every time I drove. Of course, something like this would happen at a point where I couldn’t afford much more than what was already on my plate. I distracted myself by dropping Lily off at school, giving her a big hug and an even bigger kiss.
Then, I headed to Nicole’s shop. Nicole’s Novelties. She’d opened her shop a couple of years ago and sold anything anyone could think of. If it was loud, weird, and colorful, Nicole had it in her store. She had become the go-to spot for any crafter or restoration specialist in town, and she was very proud of that.
And I was thankful for the part-time work she had hired me for.
“The pictures you texted me this morning were adorable!” Nicole said.
“I’m glad you liked them,” I said with a grin.
“How did it go? Was it completely painful?” she asked.
“It had its moments, but I think Lily’s very excited to be starting her ‘big girl class.’”
“Oh. That girl is too precious. I love her so much.”
“So do I,” I said. “She’s a good kid.”
“No tears when you left her at school?”
“Only from me,” I said.
“Well, duh. I meant from her.”
“Nope. She took it like a champ. If anything, she was too eager to get rid of me.”
�
�Every girl always is at some point in time, but she’ll miss you before her lunch break comes around. And speaking of getting rid of things, you’ll never guess how my night went.”
“If this is a segue into another Tinder date, I don’t want to hear this story,” I said.
“Trust me. It’s worth it. This guy I met off there took me across town to that cottage restaurant.”
“The one with the tables and lawn chairs on the front lawn? I like that place.”
“It’s got great food, but I don’t do eating outside,” she said. “But he was insistent. With the bugs. And the grass.”
“Damn those bugs and grass.”
“A beetle landed on my food, Cindy. A beetle. I didn’t even know those things could fly!”
“You didn’t know beetles have wings?” I asked. “Even Lily knows that.”
“Hey now, that girl knows a lot of things.”
“She’s like her dad that way,” I said.
“Freaky shit. Anyway. After I was done freaking out over the bugs, he wanted to take me back to his place. But I wasn’t down for it so he offered to take me back to mine.”
“Which you said ‘yes’ to because you always make sure you’re on your home turf,” I said.
“I’m teaching you well. Anyway, we get back to my place, and his hands are all over me. And I’m over here still freaked out by the beetle like it’s in my clothes and shit. Guess what the fuck happens next.”
“What?” I asked.
“A damn beetle comes flying through the cracked window of my living room and lands right on his fucking forehead.”
I bit back my laughter as utter disgust rolled over Nicole’s features.
“Oh my word. This is perfect,” I said.
“I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Right on his damn forehead. While he was coming in for a kiss. I smacked the thing right off him, and he thought I hit him intentionally.”
“Technically, you did.”
“He got all pissy at me, telling me how he wasn’t into that freaky shit, and I told him that was a deal breaker anyway because I fucking love that freaky shit.”
“I can’t handle you,” I said, giggling.
“Beetles and no freaky shit? I kicked his ass to the curb.”
“I take it back. That story was totally worth it.”
“Told you it would be. Now, I don’t have much work for you to do today. There are some new things that got dropped off yesterday that need to be unpacked and cleaned. That alone should take you up until Lily’s out of school. I’ll get them on the shelves before I leave, and tomorrow, you can run inventory. Sound good my dear?”
“Sounds good. I’ll get to work.”
The hours flew by much quicker than I thought they would, and I was ready to go get Lily. I wanted to hear all about her teacher and her first day of school. I hoped she made friends and wasn’t too abrasive for them. She had an attitude on her sometimes and could get really sassy if she wanted. I wanted her to have a good time in school, to enjoy herself and make memories and forge friendships she’d have for a lifetime.
Like the friendship I had with Nicole.
“Mommy! Mommy! Look at what I did!”
Lily came running into my arms with a painting clutched in her tiny little hand.
“Oh, did you paint something? Let me see,” I said.
“It’s a turtle,” she said. “We have a turtle in class.”
“That’s so awesome. But why’s the turtle red?”
“Because he should be red. Green’s boring. Red’s funner.”
“More fun,” I corrected. “Well, let’s go celebrate your first day of school.”
“With ice cream?” she asked.
“All the toppings.”
“Yay!”
I piled us both into the car, and Lily kept kicking the back of my seat from excitement. I tried to get her to stop as I put the car in reverse, but the more I asked, the harder she kicked. I checked all my mirrors before I started backing out the car, making sure no one was in my way.
But a strong kick to the middle of the seat startled me, forcing my foot down on the gas.
“Lily!”
I heard a deafening crunch as Lily began to whimper. I was shaking I whipped my head around. Lily seemed to be okay, but I had plowed into someone’s truck behind me.
Did they not see me pulling out?
I got out of my car and pulled Lily’s door open. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, and I leaned in to kiss them away. I wiped away her tears and checked her body, making sure there really was nothing wrong with her.
But not before I heard a rumbling voice behind me.
“Really?” he asked.
I stood up from my car and studied the man in front of me. I recognized him from the brief times I’d seen him outside of his place. It was my neighbor that the town couldn’t shut up about.
I watched his eyes study his truck. His hand ran lightly over the dent I’d created with my taillight. I saw his jaw clenching with anger, but he wasn’t turning his anger on me.
What was with this guy?
His eyes were filled with a familiar sense of emotion, a type of hurt mixed with anger I’d seen in my own eyes every time I looked in the mirror. His fingers drifted over his truck, almost like he was comforting it during its time of need.
The truck must’ve meant something to him, and it made me feel even more like crap for hitting it.
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
Even if he could hear me, he didn’t acknowledge that he could.
“I’ll pay for it. Whatever it takes. If you want me to call someone, I know a guy downtown who can come and—”
“No thanks. It’s fine,” the man said.
He raised up from his truck, and I got to take in just how tall he was. He was massive. And stacked. Strong underneath his clothing and stern behind his gaze. I felt like I was shrinking in front of him, reduced to nothing but the size of an ant as he gazed down at me.
He was an incredibly handsome guy with thick shoulders and a well-trimmed beard. His dark hair was cut casually, and his eyes were a deep, probing blue. He had an air of confidence about him that I found both intriguing and also a little intimidating.
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “My daughter was kicking the back of my seat and I thought I checked properly before I pulled out.”
“Came out quick,” he said.
“I’m … sorry.”
“You said that already.”
“Because I am,” I said.
He nodded, casting his gaze off into the distance before his eyes came down to my car.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I can fix it.”
“Are you a mechanic?” I asked.
“No. Your car’s worse off anyway. You’ll need your own money to fix it.”
My eyes fell to the damage done to my car. The taillight was busted, and the fender was bent. Very bent. Almost popping away from the body of the car kind of bent. Just what I needed on top of everything else.
“Looks like it,” I said.
“Your girl. Is she okay?”
I looked up at him before my eyes fell to Lily. She was turned around in her car seat, her eyes looking at the massive man I was talking to. Her eyes darted to me, and she grinned, sat down in her seat, and started wiggling around.
“Looks like it,” I said.
“Good. I’ll leave you to it.”
“Shouldn’t we exchange information or something?” I asked.
“Do you want to be held at fault for the accident with your insurance company?” he asked.
He had a point.
“Have a good day,” I said. “And I’m really sorry about your truck.”
“Tell your daughter to keep her feet off your seat. You could kill someone with your driving.”
I watched the man drive away in his truck. Gruff wasn’t the right word to describe him. More like brutish asshole. I shook my head, got back into the car, a
nd buckled myself in. I looked back at Lily who had an apologetic look on her face.
“Let’s go get some ice-cream.”
CHAPTER 4
GRAHAM
What a fucking mess.
I pulled my truck into my garage and got to work. That accident made me late for my interview at the mechanic’s shop downtown. I’d been cutting through the school parking lot to avoid the pick-up traffic at the front door. Then her car came careening out of nowhere, like some bat out of hell.
I was almost surprised to see that it was my neighbor, but I wasn’t about to bring it up, and risk small talk.
I fucking hated small talk.
I shouldn’t have been such an ass hole, but it was better than trying to make friends.
Making friends was dangerous. People in my life got hurt when they associated themselves with me. Being the quiet asshole of the town and keeping my head down was a better bet than making friends and getting them killed like I had my family.
If I couldn’t protect my own family, then there was no way I could take care of anyone else.
But, I felt bad for how I reacted. I was harsh with her. Maybe a bit too hard.
She was clearly shaken, but I had already been late for my interview. Talking to her would’ve made me even later, and if someone was watching me, the last thing they needed to think was that I was making nice with someone.
The CIA was still looking for me, and the people who had taken my family were still out there.
The CIA didn’t enjoy it when their top-secret operatives dropped off the face of the planet. They didn’t like it when they couldn't control the future lives of people like me, people who held secrets that could overturn powerful people in office.
There were things I knew about this country and its darkest secrets that the Agency would stop at nothing to keep quiet.
They didn’t simply allow people to quit without repercussions, without the proper debriefing and mind-wiping tactics. They didn’t allow people to walk away like I had, disappearing without a trace and staying on the run. I was their best special agent, the one they went to when operations were going south.
I had been good at everything.
Combat. Psychological warfare.
Weapons and bomb-making.
I could fuse and defuse with the best of them before fighting my way out with my bare hands. I could take on ten men at once and leave them all unconscious without breaking a sweat.