“What will you guys have?”
Jane asked for a Bloody Mary. A truly disappointing choice, and I ordered a Heineken. I was in luck. This kind of place had a Heineken. Not every place I go to does. I turned around and looked at the crowd. Or rather the clutches of people hither and thither.
“Does it get busier than this?” I asked Jane not looking at her. She looked around to take in the eye candy. And it was eye candy. Good looking women and men abounded. Just none that I could do anything with.
“Definitely,” she said. “Tonight will be quieter because it’s Monday but after ten there’ll be a good crowd in here. This is one of the hippest bars in Los Angeles Anthony. Are you thinking of staying around for the eye candy later.”
I turned around and the drink was in front of my eyes. The full bottle stood proudly next to the empty glass. Enough of that pride, I emptied it into the glass, getting too much head. Not everything’s perfect.
“No I don’t think so. Wrong crowd but they are good looking.” I sipped my beer.
“Got milk,” I said to Jane. She laughed and I licked off my beer mustache. I was in just one of those moods. Or maybe I was just outside of my comfort zone. Not by much, but enough to make me self conscious. I turned around holding my glass of ale by my mitt. I felt more comfortable looking out at the faces. If they were going to eye me out, I’d like to give them the roving eye.
“You are quite a treat on the eyes Anthony,” Jane said, but not really admiringly. “I should tell you that this bar is a great pick up place. Perhaps I should have told you that ahead of time.”
I nodded at her. “Yeah it sure is a smorgasbord, and I feel like I’m dieting.”
She smiled at that. “I wanted to bring you out here to Here,” she liked that play on words, “to judge your character Anthony. See what kind of a man you are. Being an ex-cop and an ex-husband.”
“People make mistakes,” I said. I was trying to figure out why, if I was doing the investigating here, everybody was trying to figure me out. I took another mouthful of foam. I’d have beer soon enough.
“Yes I know. But you can tell a lot by a man. By a person really, by how they treat the marginalized and disenfranchised. For example, how comfortable you are here at Here,” she smiled at herself again. “How comfortable you are amongst homosexuals in this case, or any other marginalized group du jour.”
Now I was rusty on my French but I think I knew what she meant. She was facetious. Prejudice doesn’t seem to go out of fashion from one day to the next. I was looking out at the crowd. Groups of friends mostly. Some acquaintances mixed in. You could see it in the body language. People as stiff cardboard cutouts of themselves next to strangers.
“So you figure I might get lucky tonight?” I said to Jane looking at a group of yuppie men. You could tell they were yuppies. They had that after work Italian fashion thing going on. Dark blue jeans. Striped shoes and snug one color shirts with snug one color jackets. It was a good look. Hair was coiffed and oiled. Had that wet look that all the cool kids wore nowadays. I took off my fedora and placed it on the bar behind me. I tousled my own hair but I was no match.
“Unlikely Anthony. You shout breeder all over yourself. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if a brave soul or two took a chance. You’re fresh meat and you look very tasty too.”
“A breeder hey? That’s a bit of an exaggeration I think. I only have one child.”
“It’s slang we have for heteros. Nothing personal.”
“Glad to hear it. I won’t take it personally then.” I sipped my beer. I was drinking from the liquid now. How sweet the wait.
“Would you feel any better if I got out there on the floor and into a big orgy?” I said.
“Now, now Anthony. I’m just saying that I could tell a lot about someone by bringing them to a place like this. Uncovering their latent prejudices and ‘isms’ and bringing them into the light.”
“That’s great Jane, because I’m chock full of prejudice. I’m prejudiced against pedophiles, rapists, muggers and people that pray on the old and the weak. I’m prejudiced against the lazy and ignorant assholes who don’t want to work for a living and just take. I’m prejudiced against backstabbers and spineless politicians that you’ll find in some of our institutions. And what’s more Jane, this list is not exhaustive.”
I turned around now and stared blankly at the wall of liquor bottles. All sorts living in harmony. It was beautiful. Just about brought me to tears. I turned back to her. She was facing the bar now too.
“How do you like them apples? What do you think of me now Jane? Because I’ll be prejudiced against you if I find you’ve done the murder. And I don’t give a shit if you’re lesbian or not. Though I sympathize with a lot of single men out there who’d be disappointed.”
She sipped her drink and licked her lips. It sure looked sultry but I was messing up the translation. It was likely the salt.
“You’re a bit hot headed Mr. Carrick. I can see that now.” We weren’t friends anymore.
“Can be Mrs. G,” I said. I was getting tired of being this cockroach pinned to a board to be examined. I was gonna start asking the questions now. Jane raised her eyebrow at that. I didn’t show my hand.
“Okay Anthony. What’s your beef with me?”
“Well frankly Jane, I don’t like being under the microscope. I’m trying to uncover the murderer of Max Ernst. You’re a possible suspect. I came over here to visit with and have a talk to you. Not to have my moral compass trued. I’ve got no problems with anybody unless they’re hurting others. Hell, as I see it this world could use a little more love. I don’t care how you get it. So are we clear Jane? Can we stop prancing around each other and get to some business?”
I was talking to my beer now. Barkeep was off to my left serving a single man who kept looking at me. I gave him a wink and he looked away. Needed to simmer down, I was getting a little fired up. People prejudging me will do that.
“Okay Anthony,” said Jane touching my forearm lightly. “I think you took what I said too fiercely. I was just trying to understand you. A person, or should I say, I would feel more comfortable disclosing more honestly and openly if I knew you might be a trustworthy and honorable sort. I think we’ve established that.”
I nodded. We had. I raised my hand for the bartender. He came over and I ordered another Heineken. I asked Jane if she wanted anything more. No, she said, she was still nursing her Murdered Mary. If I was counting right, that made three dead now.
“Yeah we have Jane. It’s my Irish temperament. I can get hot headed now and then. It’s a double edge sword that cuts both ways. Usually I know how to handle it so it only cuts one way mostly. Thing I hate most Jane, is people second guessing my integrity.”
Muscled Tom Selleck came by and placed my beer in front of me. I thanked him. I could use some nuts. But this didn’t look like a place that kept nuts for its clientele. I moved my fedora onto the stool next to me. The counter was getting wet from glass rings. I kept missing the coaster. Besides, I wanted some space. I was here for business not pleasure. I didn’t want lover boy on the other end thinking he could sidle on up to me here.
“Besides Jane, what’s so wrong with prejudice? Aren’t we all a little prejudiced or pre-judging. So long as people don’t invoke hatred or behave differently with it, what’s the big deal? What if I didn’t like homosexuals? I reckon I could still do my job effectively if I was professional and mature.”
I finished the first beer and poured the second one into the glass. I was careful this time. Froth was more manageable. Jane looked at me after sipping her Mary. She was just around half full, maybe half empty depending on how you looked at it.
“Yes, well maybe you could be that professional Anthony. But the problem with most people, especially the ignorant prejudiced kind is that they’re not that mature or professional. That’s why we have gay bashings and other sorts of atrocities. I’m not just talking about our own biases that arguably help us navigate daily
life. I’m talking more about prejudice which I think is a wilder and more unkempt animal.”
She sipped her drink again looking at me over the rim of her salt encrusted glass. Might have passed as crushed diamonds in this light. I winked at her and raised my glass to clink hers.
“Here’s to bias?” I said.
“I think you don’t like deep conversation Mr. Carrick,” there was my last name again. And damnit if she didn’t slam that k closed like an iron door. “You seem to get facetious every time I raise a serious topic.”
“Ok Jane. Here’s to serious conversation and philosophical sparring.” I was still being facetious. I couldn’t help it.
“See, there you go again.”
“I know. I can’t help it. I think we’re on the same page Jane, I just get tired of philosophical meanderings. I’m trying to figure out a murder before the cops do. Besides, Nietzsche didn’t make me stronger and I almost choked on Socrates.”
She pinched her lips. It was an attempt at a smile but all it did was make her wince. I drank more beer. I turned around and outside was dark, but with that smoky, yellow light of the street lamps. It was time to get this ball rolling.
“How long have you known Vanessa?” I asked. She turned around to face the crowd too.
“A few years she said.” She was still sipping her drink.
“I meant in a biblical sense?” I looked at her. I wanted to see body language. See if I was going to get honesty or a lie.
“Just over a year,” she said looking at me steadily. I bet on the truth.
“Was it, or should I say is it a good relationship?”
“As good as can be expected.” Laughter erupted from a group of men at a table to our right. It ran around the room like an unruly child until being corralled by time.
“What do you mean by that?” I asked her.
“Well, Vanessa is a complicated woman. And she’s in a complicated situation.”
Jane was not as forthcoming as I’d hoped, but at least she was being honest. I decided to come back to this point. The yuppies were drinking highballs of some sort and talking somberly. They were too sophisticated to allow an eruption of laughter. Though I saw good natured chuckles and slaps on the back. Even one guy slapping another on the ass. Looked out of place to me. But maybe he was hoping to get lucky. I wasn’t.
“So you’re an actor?” I asked her.
“Yes.”
“Anything I might have seen you in?” This was classic duck and cover. I had maneuvered the conversation away from the questions I really wanted answered so that when I came back to them it was a shock and awe surprise. Well not really, but might catch them unsteady.
“A couple of made for TV movies. The latest one was Two Shots for Lucky. It was a mystery whodunit. I was the grieving widow who had actually killed her husband.”
I nodded. I’d seen a bit of it. Wasn’t that good in my opinion. The plot or the acting.
“Great acting. I saw that one. You grieve well.”
She looked at me cautiously like I was about to morph into a crocodile and bite her limb off.
“Was that a shot?”
“Not at all,” I said. “It was two shots, I feel lucky.” I grinned at her my best boyish grin. She smiled and then laughed.
“Yeah it wasn’t that good. But hey, it pays the bills.”
“Yeah. You make a living acting?”
“If you can call it that. Probably not more than you do with your investigative work.”
“Oh I don’t know about that. I’m a man of leisure, I do this for pleasure.” I almost groaned at the rhyme. It wasn’t planned so I didn’t belabor it.
“Punny Anthony. Very punny. So we’re on the same page then?” I took a sip of my beer and then cupped it in both my hands. I looked over at her.
“Is this where we get intimate. I show you mine and then you show me yours… Bank statements that is?”
She punched me on the shoulder good naturedly. My new found pally old pal.
“So Vanessa didn’t mind that you were not in her same, um, class?”
“No. Vanessa’s very down to earth that way.” I frowned at her.
“What?” I shook my head.
“Not the Vanessa I met.” She didn’t say anything immediately.
“Well, I guess you and I know a different Vanessa.”
I nodded. “Maybe, or maybe you’re covering for her about something.”
She didn’t say anything to me for a long while. I drank my beer stoically. It was all I could do. I wasn’t exactly at total ease here. It was a clever ploy of hers. Not that this wasn’t a pleasant bar. But it was a meat market so it seemed to me. And I felt like a vegetarian in a butcher’s shop. Nothing whet my appetite. Meanwhile the meat was eyeing me.
“So why are you covering for her?” I asked in my best serious tone.
She looked at me again and burned me with her eyes. I doused it with a sip of beer.
“I’m not covering for her Mr. Carrick. I’m certain we just know a different Vanessa. You’ve only met her once. I hardly think that give’s you great insight into who Vanessa is. I doubt you could figure out who anyone is after one short visit. Besides, you were interrogating her. That will put a person on guard. You have a way Mr. Carrick, of not making people feel very at ease.”
She sipped her Mary. She was bleeding it dry. She might need another. But I wasn’t going to offer. The bartender tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around to face him. He put another Heineken on the counter in front of me. He pointed his thumb down the end of the bar like he was hitchhiking somewhere.
“He wanted to buy you a drink. Dave’s his name.” I looked at Tom and then looked at my wedding finger. I still kept my wedding ring but of course I hadn’t worn it today. I felt bad about that. I looked over at ‘Dave’. He was the one eyeing me earlier. A creepy looking older guy in his early sixties I bet. He had wispy gray hair combed back and his face was a map of a very sad place. From here his eyes were droopy with thick bags hanging from them. How’d I get so lucky I wondered? He raised his glass to me. Looked like something and coke. I tilted the beer bottle at him ever so slightly. I didn’t smile. I looked back at my bottle to see Tom watching me.
“I’d be careful with him,” he said.
“I think I could take care of him,” I answered.
“I mean careful in an intimate way.” I looked at Tom, wondering if he’d had a momentary lapse of reason.
“Tom,” I said.
“How’d you know my name?”
“Lucky guess. Tom,” I continued. “I can’t remember if a woman’s ever been able to lay me after buying one drink, so I doubt an old perv is gonna have any better luck.”
“He’s straight,” said Vanessa. Tom nodded. “Thought so,” he said.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the drink though.”
By the time I said it, Tom had moved on to the other side of the bar and was telling Dave that I was heterosexual. Dave looked over at me and back at Tom and then shrugged. I stared at the wall of liquor.
“You know that wasn’t the nicest thing to say about a guy who bought you a drink,” she said.
“Sometimes I’m just not that nice,” I said.
“No need to call him a perv.” I turned towards her. I was getting tired of being reprimanded.
“Listen Ms. Manners. I’ve been around the block a few times. I’ve danced with more savage damsels than you. That Dave there is a pervert. It’s got nothing to do with him being gay. If he was straight and buying a young woman a drink I’d say the same thing. I know a pervert when I see one. Ain’t no way he bought me a drink ‘cos he thinks I’m a nice guy. Let’s get over being so fragile about any slight being about whether he’s a fag or not okay? You’ve got bigger beefs than my political incorrectness. There’s real trouble out there for marginalized people. Don’t be slapping your friends.”
I finished my beer and thought I’d give Dave’s a try. I poured a perfect one. I turned b
ack to face the crowd.
“Okay. So you and Vanessa are cozy. Have been for about a year.” I looked at her.
She nodded. She motioned for Tom. He brought his rippling abs over and she ordered another slaughtered Mary.
“So did you kill him?” I asked her once Tom had left. She turned to me.
“Which one?”
“Doesn’t matter. Either one. Both.” I looked at the group of yuppies. I decided they should be named after hyenas. Yeah, a cackle of yuppies. I liked that. They were cackling softly. Unlike the younger crowd with the unruly laughter that they let loose on the rest of us unsuspecting patrons. I wanted to check their ID. I didn’t think all of them would make twenty one.
“No I didn’t kill Max or Lorenzo.”
“I bet you would have liked to.” She took her drink from Tom and he sauntered off to the other end. Dave was taking another coke and something.
“No Anthony. If there was anyone I might have wanted to kill it would have been Maria. She’s an absolute bitch.”
“Oh I don’t know about that. She seems kinda cute to me. Why the sour grapes?”
“Because she was trying to ruin that family. She was trying to get involved with Vanessa and she was screwing around with Max. She was playing us all.”
“Am I hearing jealousy Jane?”
“A little Anthony. Maybe a little. But it’s not just that. Yeah I wasn’t pleased that Vanessa was screwing with Lorenzo. That was a sore point for us. I was hoping that we were going to get serious. Become a couple. We talked about going up to Canada to get married actually.”
“That’s sweet. I just don’t see Vanessa being into that. Come on Jane. Here was a married woman that you were having an affair with. And you mean to tell me that you think she was going to leave all of that for a starving actress. And on top of that, what makes you think she was going to remain faithful to you?”
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