"Just for now?" Jeremy asked.
"Life can be complicated at times," Billy said.
"Maybe we can talk about it some."
"Maybe, but not now." For the longest time Billy let Jeremy hold her, but after a while, she looked up at him, and said, "I miss you when you leave here each day."
"I miss you too, honey," Jeremy said. Giving her one last heartfelt kiss, he got in his truck and left.
As Billy watched it moving away, Jeremy's words, and her reply, played over in her head…
Maybe we can talk about it some…
Maybe, but not now... A response that opened the tiniest corner of Pandora's Box, and she knew that Jeremy wouldn't be satisfied until the lid was wide open.
***
At the Pendleton rodeo grounds, Jeremy stood with the other roughstock cowboys who'd gathered in an area behind the chutes to have some privacy from the crowd while organizing their equipment and preparing for their rides, physically and mentally. Some of the men stretched out their leg muscles by propping their heels on the top rungs of the stock panels and bending toward them, like ballet dancers, others tried to raise their heart rates by slapping themselves or shadow boxing, and some sat alone with their eyes closed, maybe praying, maybe meditating.
He and Billy arrived two hours before his bull riding event was to start. It had been a good drive. Billy sat beside him, and although he kept his hands on the wheel for the long drive, frequently he gave Billy a kiss on the temple, and she responded by cuddling against him and resting her hand on his leg and leaving it there, which had the effect of priming him for something that wouldn't take place, at least not in the near future, though having Billy in his bed all night, and in his life permanently, was beginning to take hold.
Josh hadn't been far off when he'd made his comment about bringing Billy home to Mama because that's what he wanted to do. His family would welcome her, especially Maddy, who'd have more in common with Billy than any of her other sister-in laws, except maybe Annie. And Grandma Maureen would wholeheartedly approve… and his dad, and his mom. He couldn't help smiling because Billy would have more family than she'd know what to do with…
"How's it going?" Josh's voice startled him.
Turning, he replied, "Okay. Where have you been?"
"Resting in my camper," Josh replied. "So what's the status? Who did you draw and what position?"
"Fifth position and I drew Free Fall," Jeremy replied. "He's the bull I rode last year at St. Paul. He's a pretty rank bull but I completed the ride, so if I can do it again and score in the high eighties, I might make the finals here tomorrow and have a chance to draw Wild Card."
He looked toward the sorting pens where Billy was talking to several people just outside Wild Card's pen. Unlike the herd bulls brought in by individual stock contractors, which were penned up together, Wild Card stood alone. Still, when he'd entered his solitary pen earlier, he'd announced to the bulls in the adjoining pens that he was a bull to reckon with by letting out one of his long, drawn-out bellows.
Behind the chutes, gates slid open and closed, tubular steel stock panels rattled, and horns raked along metal bars as the bulls began moving through the labyrinth of narrow passageways just prior to the bull riding event.
"I guess we're about on," Josh said. "Stay safe."
"You too," Jeremy replied.
As always, the sounds of the bulls moving into the chutes sent a rush of adrenaline coursing through Jeremy. Walking over to where his equipment was draped over a fence for inspection, he applied a coat of rosin to his bull rope then methodically went through his well-orchestrated procedure, right up to the final wrapping of his forearm.
He never watched the riders before him, and tried not to pay attention to the scores as they were announced so it wouldn't influence his performance. The individual rides went quickly, and it wasn't long before the chute boss rapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hansen, you're next."
Grabbing his bull rope, Jeremy prepared himself mentally for what was coming, and not more than five minutes later he moved to the chute with Free Fall in it and climbed the rungs, noticing that Josh was in the arena just off to the side, waiting for the gate to open.
Everything went fast after that, and after positioning himself on the bull and raising his arm, the gate opened and he found himself on a bucking freight train, but this time he managed to synchronize his free hand with the movements of the bull, and using his spurs, distracted the bull while trying to impress upon the judges his ability to control a rank bull in a brutish ride that had him constantly shifting with the motions of the bull to keep his balance. Seconds ticked by and before he knew it the whistle sounded, and he was certain he'd had a good ride.
After picking himself up out of the dirt following the dismount, he grabbed his hat and bull rope, and while he was jogging out of the arena, the announcer called out, "89-points for Jeremy Hansen on Free Fall."
Feeling elated over his successful ride, he was anxious to find Billy, but as he made his way behind the chutes he noticed a trio of women standing in a grouping, looking his way. All three women he'd known from previous rodeos, but only one had slept with him, and from the way she was smiling at him while twirling a finger in the valley of her cleavage, he knew she was looking for another hot evening. He'd never understood what kept these women going after men they knew weren't in it for the long haul, but the men never asked questions, and the women gave them what they wanted and seemed to enjoy doing it. Maybe there was a hierarchy among the women to land a champion stud, because the women were definitely after the high scorers, those with the championship buckles.
He was pumped up from the ride, but the woman whose eyes were fixed on him wasn't the fix. As she started to break away from the others, he looked beyond her and caught sight of Billy rushing toward him, which had him smiling because she was about the sweetest, prettiest woman in the whole crowd, and her attention was focused on him.
The woman with the other two bunnies had just stepped from the group when Billy rushed by, inadvertently knocking against her. Billy stopped long enough to turn to the woman and apologize before charging on and into Jeremy's arms. After kissing him soundly, she said, in an excited voice, "Good ride, cowboy. You might have a chance at drawing Wild Card for the finals tomorrow, but I'll still be rooting for him to dump you."
Jeremy grinned so widely he felt silly. Then he kissed Billy again, this time long enough to get the message across to the trio of women that he was no longer available, and said to Billy, "Then I'll be expecting some female understanding, but for now I need a shower and clean clothes."
Wrapping his arm snugly around Billy, he led her past the women, who eyed Billy in her old jeans and worn western shirt and scuffed boots, and with her hair a mass of chestnut tangles, like they couldn't figure out what Billy had that they didn't have. He knew Billy noticed it too because she glanced toward them momentarily before looking ahead again.
As Jeremy guided Billy toward a spot where they could watch the last two bull riders, Billy said to him, "Are women always waiting around for you like that?"
"Not necessarily me," Jeremy replied. "Whoever the winning cowboy is gets tagged. There are still two riders to go so the women might change their focus."
"They're not even subtle about what they want," Billy said. "The woman I bumped into had Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy written across her shirt."
Jeremy laughed. "Her name is Carla, and she gets around."
"Was she waiting for you?"
"Probably, since I scored high."
"Would you have hooked up with her if I wasn't around?"
"Maybe, if it was before I met you and got tunnel vision," Jeremy said. "Before then it was like a game with those women, with no expectations on either part except celebrating a good win. You're pumped up with adrenaline going into the ride, and if you score big, you're higher than a kite coming out of the arena, and the women help you come down off your high."
"Then after
a rodeo you always end up with one of these women in your bed?" Billy asked.
"Not by a long shot," Jeremy replied. "By the end of the partying at the local pub, and after a few beers to level things off, the women get loud and obnoxious, and their long fingernails begin to look like talons, and hitting the sack alone becomes way more appealing than an eight-second ride on a bunny and having her spend the rest of the night in your bed."
"What about married cowboys?" Billy asked. "Do they hook up with bunnies when their wives aren't with them?"
"None that I know do," Jeremy replied. "It's a two-way thing. Married cowboys for the most part are devoted to their wives, and the bunnies are looking for single cowboys to hang on to because a married cowboy isn't a status symbol because he's taken."
"Then how does a married cowboy come down off his high after a big win?" Billy asked.
"Usually he gets on his cell and calls his wife and she's excited and tells him how proud she is and how she can't wait for him to get home, and he has a couple of beers with the guys and spends a restless night in his camper looking at the photos of his wife and kids in his wallet and wishing he was home. But where are we going with this?" Jeremy asked.
"I guess I'm just trying to understand things."
"Is this about relationships?" Jeremy asked.
"Maybe," Billy replied.
"With us?"
"I don't know. This thing with buckle bunnies bothers me."
"Then let me put it this way," Jeremy said. "When I came out of the arena after that 89-point ride I was pumped up so high I was practically floating, and the women were standing there looking pretty much like what they are, and then I saw you racing toward me, and that was the best come-down I've ever had. Just seeing you like that beat anything any of those women could do. I didn't even know what was written on that shirt because it didn't matter." He stopped then and took Billy by the shoulders and turned her around so she was facing him, and said, "What I'm looking at now is what matters to me."
Billy raised her eyes to his and blinked several times like she was confused, or maybe trying to take it all in, and when she smiled, Jeremy felt like he had the world in his hands.
"I suppose I could live with that," she said. "But if things go further with us, I'm not sure I could live with bunnies trailing after you, even if you ignore them. It's a territorial thing."
Jeremy laughed, put his arm around her again and pulled her close, and said, "The thing of it is, for girlfriends, having bunnies hanging around their cowboy is a status symbol of his success, so you get to hold your head high and thumb your nose at the bunnies and let them eat their hearts out."
Billy reached around and swatted Jeremy on the butt, and said, "You really are full of it."
"I know." Jeremy laughed and guided Billy over to the railing just as the announcer's voice rang out over the speakers with the last score. "Seventy-seven points for Cameron Luke."
"One rider to go and you'll have it," Billy said.
"Yeah, but that one rider is Clint Gillespie riding Rambo."
The chute opened, and a brindle bull shot out with a rider square on his back, matching the motion of the bull as it bucked and spun and switched directions…
"He's hanging on," Jeremy said in a morbid voice."
But an instant later, the man lost his balance and slipped off the side of the bull, and not more than a second later, the buzzer went off.
"There's the whistle," the announcer called out. "No score for Clint Gillespie, and Jeremy Hansen with a score of 89 wins the short round making him eligible for the finals tomorrow…"
Jeremy wasn't sure when he'd scooped Billy up in his arms and lifted her off the ground, but the next moment he was kissing her long and hard, and she was kissing him back like there was no tomorrow. When the kiss finally ended and he set her down, he said, "After a kiss like that, will you really root against me if I draw Wild Card tomorrow?"
Billy got a little gleam in her eye like he was beginning to recognize just before she nailed him with something, and said, "I won't be rooting against you, I'll be rooting for Wild Card, but maybe I'll give you some female understanding when it's over, because you'll need it."
Jeremy eyed her with amusement. "If that kiss was any indication of what I might get in the way of the female understanding then I'm ready to be bucked off."
"Don't get your hopes up, cowboy," Billy said. Then she slid her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly. "On the other hand, there's no telling what I might be willing to do for that championship buckle you're going to win tomorrow."
"Honey, you'd better not be telling me things like that," Jeremy said. "I'm trying hard to behave myself."
"So am I," Billy replied. "We're both safe for the moment though because I need to check on Wild Card and make sure he has food and fresh water, and you need to shower and change clothes, and there's a lot of things around here to see and do to keep us occupied for the evening."
"That'll keep my mind occupied for a while," Jeremy said, "but it quiets down later. Maybe I could come to your place then and we could talk about it."
"Maybe."
Jeremy wasn't exactly sure if she understood what the it was he was referring to, but it would take a team of oxen pulling together to keep him away from his camper with Billy in it, even if it's to sit and hold hands, though he hoped it would progress some from there.
CHAPTER 10
After spending a couple of hours browsing through Hamley's, a store in Pendleton that stocked western wear including hats, tack, custom bits and spurs, and some of the finest saddles in the world, Billy, Jeremy and Josh had dinner at a steak house, after which Josh went to his camper to get settled for the night and call home, and Billy headed for the stock pens to check on Wild Card to make sure he was good for the night.
It was the first time Billy had been to Pendleton, a town in northeast Oregon surrounded by sprawling wheat fields and cattle ranches. Normally, the town had a population of less than 17,000, but during the week-long rodeo it exploded to 50,000. Being lost in the crowd with Jeremy in a far corner of the state, Billy felt free to laugh with him, and have fun with him, and hold his hand or nestle against him while he steered her through the crowd with his arm snugly around her. But mainly, she felt free to lift her head out from under the dark cloud that had been hanging over her and shove aside thoughts of Rachel and Sal, and Joseph "the shark" DeLuca, and the fact that there was no guarantee that things as they were now would ever change…
"You're very quiet," Jeremy said after they'd returned to the camper, where he sat on a padded double-seat with his arm around her.
"I'm a little tired," Billy replied, by way of explanation.
"Then how about we won't talk and we'll just kiss for a while." Jeremy smiled, which was like seeing the sun come out on a cloudy day.
Turning toward him, Billy wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, and he kissed her back long and hard, then he lifted her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her and held her against him and rested his head against hers and said nothing, like he'd read her feelings and knew she wanted to withhold the physical side of their relationship because the future was so uncertain. But after a while, when Jeremy said nothing, Billy said, "I loved everything about today, but maybe I like what's happening right now best, and I'm glad you're not wanting more."
Jeremy gave her a kind of ironic smile. "Around the time Josh and I got our first whiskers my dad sat us down and gave us his lecture about respecting the sanctity of a woman's body, which we translated into, there were girls who did it and girls who didn't, and the ones who didn't, we could bring home to Mama."
"If it's an issue with you, you need to know that I'm not a virgin," Billy said. "I had a boyfriend for a short time when I was in college and I thought I was going to marry him."
"It's not an issue with me," Jeremy said. "My folks wanted to delay things as long as possible. You never mentioned anything about college though."
"I
only went for a year," Billy replied. "The following summer I was offered a job on a ranch nearby and that suited me more than going back to college."
"In South Dakota?"
"No, in Nevada." Billy looked at Jeremy with a start, realizing she'd slipped into her real past. "That is," she corrected, "I went to college in Nevada, but the ranch was in South Dakota."
"So I take it you're bucking Wild Card in Elton, Nevada next weekend," Jeremy said.
"No," Billy replied. "A bucking bull has only so many good rides in him a season and I don’t want to wear Wild Card out." Which was true, but not her reason for avoiding Nevada, especially the area around Reno where the rodeo would be held.
"It's a PRCA rodeo," Jeremy said. "I'm surprised you're skipping it for the less important rodeos you've bucked him in around Harney County."
"I wanted to start off easy, being Wild Card's first season," Billy replied, hating to constantly be on the defensive because of circumstances she couldn't control, while also being forced to come up with reasons to validate things that weren't so.
"You know what I think?" Jeremy said.
"What?" she asked, with uncertainty.
"I think I've had enough bull talk for tonight. I want to neck some more."
Billy smiled in relief. "I'll go along with that." Wrapping her arms around him, she kissed him so long and hard it made her lips numb while heightening her senses, which were on full alert, and when one of Jeremy's hands moved up to cover her breast, she didn't stop him, at least not for the duration of the kiss, which had their tongues rasping and twisting together, and her breath coming hard and heavy, and Jeremy breaking the kiss to say, "I think we're at a cross roads now. Are you giving me the signal to keep going?"
Billy drew in several long, hormone-settling breaths, and replied, "I admit I'm giving you signals, but I think we'd better stop here."
"I was afraid of that," Jeremy said. "It's good one of us has some control."
"Just barely," Billy replied. "Meanwhile, you have a big ride coming up tomorrow so you should probably leave now and let things settle down some."
Bucking The Odds (Dancing Moon Ranch Book 9) Page 11