Dedication
For Zeke,
last but
not least
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to the bakers in Pixie’s virtual test kitchen:
Stephanie Badulak
Shelley Jacobson
Melanie Lewis
Contents
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Chapter One: Ye Olde Escape
Chapter Two: Ye Olde Unidentified Flying Objects
Chapter Three: Ye Olde Cone Hat
Chapter Four: Ye Olde Dormmates
Chapter Five: Ye Olde Pertinacious Me
Chapter Six: Ye Olde Dinner of Doom
Chapter Seven: Ye Olde Bad Talent
Chapter Eight: Ye Olde Good News
Chapter Nine: Ye Olde Night of Secrets
Chapter Ten: Ye Olde Evil Eye
Chapter Eleven: Ye Olde Watchgoose
Chapter Twelve: Ye Olde Rhyming Secret
Chapter Thirteen: Ye Olde Sock Thief
Chapter Fourteen: Ye Olde Family Connections
Chapter Fifteen: Ye Olde Dumb Plant
Chapter Sixteen: Ye Olde Thankless Job
Chapter Seventeen: Ye Olde Baking Secrets
Chapter Eighteen: Ye Olde Bratty Batter
Chapter Nineteen: Ye Olde Quality Control
Chapter Twenty: Ye Olde Disappointment
Chapter Twenty-One: Ye Olde Writing on the Wall
Chapter Twenty-Two: Ye Olde Garrulous Visitor
Chapter Twenty-Three: Ye Olde Truth
Chapter Twenty-Four: Ye Olde Powerful Stories
Chapter Twenty-Five: Ye Olde Bad News of the Week
Chapter Twenty-Six: Ye Olde Trouble Finds its Way
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Ye Olde Story of Pip
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Ye Olde Mother Goose Rhyme
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Ye Olde Surprise Journey
Chapter Thirty: Ye Olde Eleventh Birthday
Chapter Thirty-One: Ye Olde Decision
Chapter Thirty-Two: Ye Olde Hair in the Air
Chapter Thirty-Three: Ye Olde Precautions
Chapter Thirty-Four: Ye Olde Fair Day
Chapter Thirty-Five: Ye Olde Fiendish Friends
Chapter Thirty-Six: Ye Olde Messengers
Chapter Thirty-Seven: Ye Olde Doctor’s Orders
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Ye Olde False Friends
Chapter Thirty-Nine: Ye Olde False Confession
Chapter Forty: Ye Olde Fly in the Batter
Chapter Forty-One: Ye Olde Riddling Recipe
Chapter Forty-Two: Ye Olde Reversing Cake
Chapter Forty-Three: Ye Olde Birthday Party
Chapter Forty-Four: Ye Olde Cracked Wish
Chapter Forty-Five: Ye Olde Homecoming
Chapter Forty-Six: Ye Olde Talent
Chapter Forty-Seven: Ye Olde Punishment
Chapter Forty-Eight: Ye Olde Next Mountain
Recipes for Aspiring Apprentices, from the Goose Ladies
The Goose Ladies’ Rules
Pixie’s Favorite No-Bake Snickerdoodle Cupcakes
Nell’s Feel-Like-You’re-Flying Biscuits
Super-Chocolatey Birthday Wishing Cake
Reversing Cake
Everyday Snow
About the Author
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
CHAPTER ONE
Ye Olde Escape
Riding shotgun in Aunt Doris’s truck, with my goose, Destiny, on my lap, I stared out the window and tried to memorize landmarks. Woods, lakes, schools, firehouses—they were all starting to look alike. In the backseat my best friend, Gray, was sitting with the twins, River and Rain, and their goose, Drizzle. We were on our way to Chuckling Goose Farm, but the only one who knew what town or even what state it was in was Aunt Doris. Unfortunately, she could keep a secret better than a safe can keep a fortune.
Although Aunt Doris called the twins my cousins, I’d never met them before. It made us all a bit shy with each other. But Gray tried his best to be friendly by telling goose jokes.
“Why do geese fly in a vee?”
“I give up,” answered River after less than a second.
“’Cause it’s too hard to fly in an s.”
“Hah!” River forced a polite laugh.
“This one’s better,” Gray promised. “Why do geese fly south for the winter?” He didn’t even wait for the twins to answer. “Because it’s too far to walk!” He cracked up. I laughed, too, so he wouldn’t feel bad.
After a while Aunt Doris said, “You kids should probably try to get some sleep. We’ve got a long ride ahead.” But there was still an hour of daylight left, and I wasn’t a bit tired—until she began humming something that sounded like a lullaby. Fortunately, she still popped her gum occasionally. Aunt Doris was a real thunder-mouth, and those cracks helped me to stay awake.
I don’t know how long we’d been riding when something strange happened. The truck, which Aunt Doris called Babe, was passing through filmy clouds that looked as if they’d been spun from thread as fine as spider silk. Clouds? I looked around and realized we were driving on a skyway rather than a highway. I glanced over at Aunt Doris. She’d put on a pair of thick goggles and was concentrating hard on the road, so I rolled down the window just enough to sneak a pinky out and snag a strand of cloud.
After that we began descending, not like a plane getting ready to land, but straight down like an elevator. As far as I could see, there was only the sea beneath us. I looked back at Gray and the twins, but they were sleeping. If I woke them, Aunt Doris would notice. For some reason it seemed important not to let her know I was up.
Just before we sank below the waves, Aunt Doris leaned over and closed my window tightly. I held my breath as the truck slipped below the surface. But when I couldn’t hold it anymore, I discovered I could breathe anyway. We drove past a coral reef, where two green turtles were foraging. A school of banana-yellow fish swam alongside us for a while. But when a giant red squid tried to grab us in its tentacles, Destiny honked in alarm. Aunt Doris cracked her gum and stamped down hard on the gas pedal.
Whoosh! We shot up through the surface of the sea and rolled onto an island. My heart stopped pounding—until the ground beneath us began to quake and rumble.
Earthquake? Volcano? I wasn’t sure. Then the island slapped its enormous tail.
“Hang on!” Aunt Doris whispered. I held Destiny closer as we were launched into the sky by the whale’s powerful spout. We whizzed through the air until we finally landed on an icy mountain peak, sharp as the point on an icicle. Babe rocked dangerously back and forth on its tip. That was when Aunt Doris shut off the engine. “I need a nap, kiddo,” she said calmly. “I suggest you take one, too.”
CHAPTER TWO
Ye Olde Unidentified Flying Objects
“We’re here,” announced Aunt Doris, adding a gum crack for emphasis.
I opened my eyes and discovered we were parked in the driveway of a white farmhouse with a big front porch and a red barn beside it. A gaggle of geese honked a greeting. Destiny raised her head and fluttered her wings.
I stroked her soft back and murmured, “It’s okay, those geese are going to be your friends.”
“Everybody out!” Aunt Doris ordered cheerfully. “I’ll find Wyatt and ask him to help with your trunks.” She headed off toward the barn.
It felt good to stand up and stretch my legs. I gazed around and saw two long picnic tables. One held platters of food. There were towering stacks of pancakes and waffles taller than me.
Two girls who’d been setting the tables dropped spoons and forks. “Hello!
Welcome!” they shouted, running toward us.
For a moment I just stood there in awe. These girls were apprentices. Real, live Goose Girls. They were braver than brave and truer than true.
The older apprentice, a teenager with the long golden hair of a storybook princess, grinned at us. “Hi, I’m Perrin. We’re really excited to have you here.”
I smiled back. “Thanks, I’m Pixie.”
“Oh, I know.”
Hmm. I wondered what she she’d heard about me. “Do you also know Gray, Rain, and River?” I nodded toward the others.
“Now we do!” exclaimed the second apprentice. “And my name’s Pip.” She had sandy hair that was cropped short around her elfish ears. She looked about our age or a bit older.
“You must be starved. It’s been a night and a day since you’ve eaten.” Perrin took me by the arm.
“But I had dinner last night—pizza. That’s what we always have on Fridays,” I told her.
“Last night was Saturday,” Perrin said. “This is Sunday morning.”
I blinked. Had I really slept for a night and a day? I caught River and Rain sending each other amazed looks.
“Well, I’m starving!” exclaimed Gray. “And the food looks awesome.”
A new Goose Girl ran past the table. She was waving a butterfly net at a flock of fluttering, um, well, I wasn’t sure what.
“Whoa! I’ve never seen butterflies like that before,” said Gray.
“They’re not butterflies. They’re naughty biscuits!” she shouted, swinging the net. “And you’re welcome to eat any you can catch.”
“Oh, Nell!” Perrin shook her head. “Did you make the biscuits too light again?”
Gray’s baby blues bugged out. “You mean those are flying biscuits?”
“Yes, unfortunately.” Nell sighed.
“Too bad I don’t have my catcher’s mitt,” Gray said. But he stretched up his arm like he was playing outfield and jumped. “Gotcha!” he crowed. He broke the biscuit in two and offered half to me. The salty, buttery crumbs melted on my tongue.
Rain and River began chasing the biscuits, too.
“Hello, cousins!” another voice called. With my cheeks bulging like a chipmunk’s, I turned to see who’d arrived. A very tall girl was waving a net at the flying biscuits. Her thick, waist-length braid whipped across her back.
“Oh, Winnie, I added too much rising powder again,” Nell told her.
“Don’t worry, I’ll catch them. Though it wasn’t just the rising powder, you know.” Winnie smiled fondly at Nell and began to chant,
“When baking biscuits rich and buttery
A heart that’s light will make them fluttery
The joy that fills you helps them rise
And sends them off to sunny skies.”
“It’s true,” Nell told us. “It happens whenever I get overexcited.”
I looked around. “What were you overexcited about?”
Nell’s dark eyes grew round and shiny. “Why, because you were coming, Pixie. I never met a hero before.”
I felt my face grow hot. I knew my freckles were spreading from my cheeks to my ears. “I’m not a hero,” I mumbled.
Perrin put a hand on my shoulder. “What you did was very brave. You eliminated our worst enemy.”
“But it was an accident,” I croaked. “I didn’t mean to shatter her.”
“Tell us how you did it,” Pip pressed.
“Were you afraid?” Nell’s voice quivered.
“Girls! Didn’t I warn you not to bombard Pixie first thing?” scolded Aunt Doris as she returned from the barn with a long-limbed teenaged boy.
“Sorry Aunt Doris,” Pip said. Nell clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Hello, new girls, I’m Wyatt,” the boy said to Rain and me. Then he bumped fists with Gray and River. “It’s about time we had some more guys around here. I hope you two like geese, ’cause you’re going to be my assistants in the barn. We’re in charge of egg production.”
River and Gray both beamed.
“I thought you kids would have devoured these by now,” said Aunt Doris, eyeing the waffle and pancake towers. She yawned loudly. “I’m going up to bed. Perrin, Winnie—please show Rain and Pixie the way to the kitchen when you’re done eating. The rest of the Aunts are anxious to meet them.”
We tucked into breakfast as though we hadn’t eaten for months. Everything was as delicious as it looked. Besides pancakes, waffles, and naughty biscuits, there were bowls full of berries that glistened like jewels. The butter was creamy. The syrup shone like amber light. And no one asked me any more questions about how I’d shattered Raveneece.
While I ate, Destiny sat on my lap. I let her sip from my water glass and fed her berries from my plate. Rain and River’s goose, Drizzle, walked around the table nibbling grass. But Destiny squawked when I tried to put her down, too.
“Has your goose always been shy?” asked Perrin.
“Not with my family or friends. But she’s never met other geese,” I replied. The thing was, Des had become clingy ever since we’d been trapped in Raveneece’s hole in the woods. But I didn’t want to bring that up. Talking about what had happened still gave me the creeps.
“She’ll get used to the others,” said Wyatt.
“I know. She just needs some time,” I agreed. “I’ll keep her with me till she’s ready.”
Wyatt sent me a sorry look. “The Aunts have a no-geese-in-the-farmhouse policy.”
“Oh.” A lump rose in my throat. “Des has been sleeping with me every night since we escaped.”
“Don’t worry, the boy’s bunkhouse is right next to the barn. Gray, River, and I will be close enough to hear her if she wakes up at night,” Wyatt said.
I nodded. I could tell he’d be kind. Besides, Des loved Gray almost as much as me.
When Rain and I were so full we were holding our bellies, Perrin said, “If you’re done, let’s go to the kitchen so you can meet the Aunts.”
Winnie nodded. “Yes, they’re very anxious to meet you. But they wanted us to get acquainted first.”
We slid off the bench. Wyatt stood, too, and I settled Destiny in his arms. “You’re going to have fun with other geese,” I told her.
But when I turned to follow Perrin, I heard Wyatt yelp.
“Yeow!”
We spun around. Wyatt was sucking on two fingers. Destiny was already fluttering at my feet.
“Oh no! Did she bite you? I’m sorry,” I told him.
“It’s okay,” he answered. “But she sure has a strong bill.”
“I know. It’s what saved us.” I picked up my gosling and looked into her crystal blue eyes. “You need to go with the boys now, Dessie. I’ll see you later.”
“I’ll take her,” Gray offered.
I nodded and gave her to him. “Have fun, Des,” I whispered. “Please.”
CHAPTER THREE
Ye Olde Cone Hat
Perrin and Winnie led the way across the lawn, while Rain and I trailed behind them. Although Perrin was fair and thin, and Winnie was milk chocolatey and sturdy, their confident strides and cheerfulness made them seem very much alike. I was beginning to think I might like being a Goose Girl.
I guess Rain was thinking the same thing, because she reached for my hand. We swung them back and forth as we hurried to catch up, imitating the apprentices’ wide, bouncy steps.
Suddenly Rain stopped. “Hey, where’d you get this?” she asked, fingering the fine thread around my finger.
I was surprised to see it there. “If I tell you, you’ll think I’m a weirdo.”
Rain sent me a sideways glance. “Maybe not.”
“Well, I dreamed I was flying through a cloud and I hooked a thread of it on a finger.”
“You mean it’s from inside your dream?”
I shrugged. “I told you you’d think I was weird.”
Rain stroked the soft, fuzzy thread that was like a ring on my pinky. “Then I’m weird, too, because I dreamed the sam
e thing. I just wish I’d been brave enough to roll down my window.”
“Thanks,” I whispered. But I wasn’t sure if I’d been brave—or foolish.
“Pixie! Rain! Come on!” Perrin called from the porch.
Three old women dressed in voluminous black skirts were flitting around the kitchen like giant magpies. For a moment Rain and I just stood in the doorway, watching them stirring, slicing, and rolling out dough. Clouds of steam rose from pots bubbling on the stove.
Then Winnie called, “Aunts! Pixie and Rain are here!”
“Hello and come on in, girls,” said the one who’d been stirring a big pot of sauce. She wiped her hands on her ruffled apron, making her many bracelets jingle. “I’m Aunt Fancy,” she said, pulling us into a hug. For an old lady, she was strong!
The Aunt who’d been cutting bread came forward with a piece for each of us. “You poor things must be hungry,” she said, pressing the warm slices into our hands.
“Oh no, we’re stuffed,” I replied. But the bread smelled so good, I ate it anyway.
“I’m Aunt Bernie,” she said when I’d swallowed the last bite. With her sleeves rolled up and her hair cut short, she seemed like the practical type. But one bite of her warm, fresh bread made me think she was an angel in disguise.
“Which one of you is Pixie?” asked the third Goose Lady. She’d been rolling out a lump of dough on the counter but stopped and came closer to inspect us.
I couldn’t stop staring at her hat. It was a mountainous Mother Goose hat—cone shaped, black, and about three feet tall. I mean, who wore a traffic cone on their head when they were cooking?
Rain elbowed me.
“Er, I’m Pixie,” I answered.
“You two do look alike,” Aunt Fancy hurried to say. “Same height. Same curly cinnamon red hair.”
“Except that Rain’s is neat,” said the Aunt in the cone hat.
I looked at Rain’s hair. I hadn’t even realized it was cinnamon like mine. I guess it was because her hair stayed in a ponytail, even though it was curly. When I tried to wear mine that way, my curls squirmed out like worms in a downpour.
“We can’t have that mop of yours around here,” the old cone hat continued. “No one wants hair in their cake. You’ll have to wear a hairnet if you want to work in this kitchen.”
Pixie Piper and the Matter of the Batter Page 1