by W Winters
“I never will,” I tell her with a small smile playing on my lips. My voice is upbeat, but it doesn’t echo what I feel. That first day I saw her in class, I knew she was like me.
“You love me and I love you. That’s all we need,” I tell her, and she doesn’t know how raw my promise is.
She rises from her seated position, crashing her lips against mine with a desperate need.
For forgiveness. For love. For a life without pain and regret.
Her grip is tight as her nails scratch through my hair as she intensifies the kiss. For the first time in days, I want more. I want to feel every bit of her. I want to give her everything and make her mine again.
She parts the seam of her lips, granting me entry and I’m instantly hard for her. Desperate for more of her to be bared to me.
She only pulls back from our kiss to breathe.
“Please,” she says and nuzzles against me. “I need you.” Her voice is laced with anguish.
Her small hands slip under my shirt. They’re warm and her fingers are gentle as she moves them to my back, eager to touch every inch of me.
“I need you,” she says again, her eyes wide and pleading. “I need to feel you,” she adds. She kisses the little dip at the bottom of my throat and then my neck.
It’s been tense between us, but more than that, I haven’t touched her since everything’s changed.
“Please,” she whispers with need and I’m quick move her out of my lap and lay her on the floor, my hands moving under her shirt to her hips, looping around the thin panties and pulling them slowly down her thighs.
Her eyes are closed, her lips parted as she pants.
It doesn’t take me long to strip down and settle myself between her thighs, all the while leaving kisses along her jaw, her neck, that little dip beneath her collarbone. Every inch of her skin that I can kiss, I do.
“I love you,” she murmurs over and over, and when her eyes finally open and reach mine, she says it with a strength that can’t be denied.
I slam into her, filling her completely in one swift stroke. Her bare back rubs along the hardwood floor as I thrust into her, again and again. It’s an unrelenting pace. Her head thrashes and her eyes close tight as I grip her hips and pin her down.
I have to brace her to take the force of my thrusts.
She’s so tight, so wet.
Her gasp is coarse; her nails dig into my wrists. With her eyes shut tight, her body tenses. She shakes her head and I know this is wrong.
She’s thinking about it.
About what happened.
“Allie,” I murmur and brace my arm behind her back, pulling her up to sit on top of me. I kiss her ravenously with her on top of me. “Look at me,” I tell her and instantly her eyes open. She holds on to me with a fierceness, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and burying her head in the crook of my neck.
I stay as still as I can, still buried inside of her, but not wanting to move yet.
“Look at me,” I tell her again more firmly and she does slowly.
“I’m sorry, I thought I could…” her voice trails off and her shame comes back, but it’s gone the moment my words hit her.
“You’re mine,” I say the words reverently, our gaze heating with raw vulnerability. “No one else will ever touch you.” My heart beats hard and heavy, but slowly. “I’ll take it all away.”
“And you’re mine,” she murmurs and runs her fingers through my hair. Her touch gentle, but possessive. And I love it.
With her on top of me, I move my hands to her hips and rock her. Our eyes still locked. Her clit brushes against my pubic hair and she moans.
“Slow at first,” I tell her and pump my hips once, burying myself inside her, but still letting her lead. She gasps a moan as her hands fall on my chest. Her small fingers dig into my shoulders.
She nips my bottom lip, letting the tip of her nose brush against mine as she pulls away slightly, but rocks her hips again, making her body shudder with pleasure.
My hand moves to the back of her head, and only then does she look at me. “We’ll get through this,” I tell her, searching her eyes to make damn sure she believes me. “I’ve got you.”
Whatever she asks for, and however she needs it, that’s how it will always be with us.
Always and forever.
Epilogue
Allison
* * *
“How are things going now that you’re settled in?” Doctor Robinson asks me. I like his office, it’s cozy with the dark furniture and a thick rug under my feet. I like it more when Dean’s with me.
“Well, really well,” I tell him, letting out an easy breath as I pick my feet up and slip them under me to get comfortable.
“Moving was a good change, a new environment for both of us.”
“So, everything went smoothly?”
“Better than I thought. Daniel took over the lease at the place I’d been renting.”
“And Daniel is Dean’s friend?” he asks me.
“Yeah, he’s a good guy,” I say, and my heart races as I talk. Because I’m hiding the truth. I’m keeping what I overheard just yesterday to myself. Daniel has his own demons, but that’s not my story to tell.
He nods in approval although he doesn’t write anything. The book stays on his lap, the pen sitting on top. My eyes keep flickering to it; I always wonder which parts of our session Dr. Robinson deems worthy of recording.
“We got a golden retriever,” I tell him. “He’s just a fluffy puppy, but he’s sweet.”
“You got him together?” he asks me.
“My mother got him for us.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“You sound like a shrink when you ask me that,” I tell him.
“And you sound like you’re deflecting.” He’s quick to call me on my shit.
My eyes fall on the coffee table and I feel a tug at my heartstrings. “I feel like he’s too good for me,” I speak without looking up at Dr. Robinson, but the telltale sign of his leather notebook opening makes me huff a small laugh. I guess anything that hurts my heart is worthy.
“My grandmother used to say, find someone who loves you just a little more than you love them.” My eyes water, remembering how she said it. And how she meant it.
“And is that how you view your relationship with Dean?” he asks me.
I shake my head, nearly violently, as I wipe the tears away from the corners of my eyes. “No,” I say quickly, the words coming out scratchy. “But I’m afraid that’s how he’ll feel because I’m not good at loving anymore. And that’s what matters really. Not about the truth. It’s all about what people think.”
“Why do you say that?” he asks me.
“Because it’s so obvious he’d do anything for me. And I’m scared he doesn’t think I’d do the same for him.” I would. I’d kill for him, die for him. Dean is my everything.
“No, why do you say you aren’t good at loving anymore?” Dr. Robinson asks. He adds before I can answer, “Dean knows you love him. It’s something that’s clear to him. And to me, not that you asked my opinion.”
It soothes me, like a balm on my chest, calming the anxiety and nerves that keep me up at night. “Why do you think you’re not good at loving?”
“I’m scared,” I admit to him, the confession coming out in a single breath.
“Scared of what?” he asks me.
“That one day he’ll leave me, and I won’t survive it.” I sniff, reaching for the tissues on the coffee table and keep talking without looking him in the eyes.
“I don’t know how he can forgive me so easily. He says it’s love, but I still don’t quite feel like I deserve it.”
“Because you were protecting yourself.”
“If I had trusted him sooner,” I start to say the same thing I’ve been saying for weeks. I stop myself and pick under my nails, staring blindly ahead. “I can’t change the past.”
“And your past is where it belongs, beh
ind you. What you have now is someone who loves you and who you love in return. Someone who wants to grow with you.”
“I feel like I can never show Dean how much I love him.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing. I want that to be your homework.”
“What?”
“I want you to write down ways you show Dean how you love him and how he loves you.”
I nod my head easily, feeling relieved slightly. Even if I could write it all down, Dean will never know exactly what he means to me. He knows everything, my darkest secrets, and he still loves me, without judgment. He gave me a new life and it’s complete with him in it.
I don’t think it’s possible to feel more love for that man than I do.
“Do you believe in fate, Dr. Robinson?” I speak without thinking.
“Why do you ask?” he answers without actually answering and a small laugh bubbles up as I trace the line on the edge of the coffee table with my fingers. It’s hard and unforgiving as I let my thoughts surface without fear of his judgment.
“Dean was supposed to be at that party.” It takes a moment for the good doctor to realize what I’m saying and when he does, his brow raises with surprise.
“If he hadn’t gotten suspended and in that fight with his stepdad, he would have been there.”
“And what do you think about that?” Dr. Robinson asks me.
“I think he would have hit it off with Sam.” My answer comes out choked.
“Do you think he would have ended up with her and not you?”
“I think none of it would have happened.” The words pour from me. “I don’t think any of that night would have happened.” The thought of that night being erased eases a pain inside of me, but then it comes back full force knowing that wish will never come true.
“Maybe we were supposed to be together, like fate.”
“Or soulmates,” he offers.
“Whatever you want to call it.” I shrug and then add, “Maybe that’s why we felt the way we did toward each other when I first came here. Like somewhere deep down inside we knew, and Dean knew it long before me because he wasn’t as broken.”
“Do you still feel broken?” Dr. Robinson asks me and it’s such a ridiculous question.
“Of course I am.” Once you’re shattered, you can be mended but the cracks are still there. “Both of us were flawed, but together we make sense, don’t we?” I ask Dr. Robinson, and never in my life has someone’s judgment meant more to me. He simply nods as the timer goes off on my phone.
It’s time to go.
“Before you go,” the good doctor asks me, “if you told someone your story how would you describe yourself?”
“Scared, lonely, fearful,” I answer Dr. Robinson… but I’m lying. He nods in agreement and scribbles in his notepad.
A sickness churns in my gut as I think about our story and how I’d tell it. How I’d recount everything that happened.
I wouldn’t be able to do our story justice. Because it’s tainted by a different tale. One that’s darker. One I wish didn’t exist.
In that story, I know exactly how I’d be described.
Some would call me a villain.
They’d say I calculated it.
That I wanted to hurt him.
That he wouldn’t have come anywhere near me, had he known my intentions.
I tried to stay away, but he tempted me until I couldn’t resist.
That’s the truth… he asked for it.
* * *
The End.
My next release Hard to Love is coming August 20th and this one is HOT, my HOTTEST BOOK YET! Here’s a little snippet…
* * *
“You afraid to see me, Babygirl?” I ask her lowly and that gets her attention. Those beautiful baby blues find mine and for a moment, I feel everything all over again.
The undeniable lust, the tormented love, and finally, the loss. It all echoes in her doe eyes.
“Should I be?” she asks me, her cadence caressing. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she holds her breath waiting for my response. That lip I used to nibble as she moaned my name. Lips that used to kiss me and only me.
* * *
Prepare yourself for your next addictive romance - pre order Hard to Love today!
If you loved It’s Our Secret, you’re going to devour Daniel’s story. Keep reading for a sneak peek at Possessive!
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Hard to Love
Prepare yourself for your next addictive romance. It’s my hottest and most intense book yet! Pre order Hard to Love today!
Sneak Peek at Possessive
From USA Today bestselling author W Winters comes an emotionally gripping, standalone, contemporary romance.
* * *
It was never love with Daniel and I never thought it would be.
It was only lust from a distance.
Unrequited love maybe.
* * *
He’s a man I could never have, for so many reasons.
That didn’t stop my heart from beating wildly when his eyes pierced through me.
It only slowed back down when he’d look away, making me feel so damn unworthy and reminding me that he would never be mine.
* * *
Years have passed and one look at him brings it all back.
But time changes everything.
There’s a heat in his eyes I recognize from so long ago, a tension between us I thought was one-sided.
* * *
“Tell me you want it.” His rough voice cuts through the night and I can’t resist.
That’s where my story really begins.
* * *
Possessive is an emotional, gripping story. Filled with heartache, guilt and longing! Possessive will take you on a journey of obsession and jealousy...it's emotional, raw and captivating. - Beyond The Covers Blog
Preface
Addison
It’s easy to smile around Tyler.
It’s how he got me. We were in tenth-grade calculus, and he made some stupid joke about angles. I don’t even remember what it was. Something about never discussing infinity with a mathematician because you’ll never hear the end of it. He’s a cute dork with his jokes. He knows some dirty ones too.
A year later and he still makes me smile. Even when we’re fighting. He says he just wants to see me smile. How could I leave when I believe him with everything in me?
My friend’s grandmother told me once to fall in love with someone who loves you just a little more.
Even as my shoulders shake with a small laugh and he leans forward nipping my neck, I know that I’ll never really love Tyler the way he loves me.
And it makes me ashamed. Truly.
I’m still laughing when the bedroom door creaks open. Tyler plants a small kiss on my shoulder. It’s not an open-mouth kiss, but still, it leaves a trace on my skin and sends a warmth through my body. It’s only momentary though.
The cool air passes between the two of us, as Tyler leans back and smiles broadly at his brother.
I may be seated on my boyfriend’s lap, but the way Daniel looks at me makes me feel alone. His eyes
pierce through me. With a sharpness that makes me afraid to move. Afraid to breathe even.
I don’t know why he does this to me.
He makes me hot and cold at the same time. It’s like I’ve disappointed him simply by being here. As if he doesn’t like me. Yet, there’s something else.
Something that’s forbidden.
It creeps up on me whenever I hear Daniel’s rough voice; whenever I catch him watching Tyler and me. It’s like I’ve been caught cheating, which makes no sense at all. I don’t belong to Daniel, no matter how much that idea haunts my dreams.
He’s almost twenty and I’m only sixteen. And more importantly, he’s Tyler’s brother.
It’s all in my head. I tell myself over and over again that the electricity between us is something I’ve made up. That my body doesn’t burn for Daniel. That my soul doesn’t ache for him to rip me away and punish me for daring to let his brother touch me.
It’s only when Tyler says something to him, that Daniel turns to look at him, tossing something down beside us.
Tyler’s oblivious to everything happening. And suddenly, I can breathe again.
* * *
My eyelids flutter open, my body hot under the stifling blankets. I don’t react to the memory in my dreams anymore. Not at first. It sinks in slowly. The recognition of what that day would lead to getting heavier in my heart with each second that passes. Like a wave crashing on the shore, but it’s taking its time. Threatening as it approaches.
It was years ago, but the memory stays.