by Kit Pearson
She went over to the window seat and crouched there, gazing to the right towards the O’Reillys’. There were too many trees for her to see their boathouse.
What is Kitty doing right now? she thought. But why do I care? She said she never wanted to see me again!
“Oh, I wish we could go home this moment instead of waiting until tomorrow!” she told Alice. “I don’t think I can endure another evening here.”
“Well, you’ll have to,” said Alice calmly. “We’re having venison for dinner—it’s a stag that Mr. Crane shot. Mary and I watched the cook cutting it up. He tried to give us the hoofs, but we didn’t want them.”
“That’s horrible!” said Emily. “I won’t eat it!”
Alice smiled. “I bet you will. It will be delicious. He’s cooking it with sage and onions.”
“I don’t care. Deer are beautiful creatures and it’s wrong to shoot them!”
“We eat beef and chickens—we even eat ours,” Alice reminded her.
Emily shuddered, remembering her ducklings again. Everything that was so confusing to her was black and white to Alice.
An enormous weariness descended upon Emily. It had been such a long, full day and she had risen so early. She yawned. “I’m going to have a nap.”
“I will, too,” said Alice. They took off their frocks and boots and stockings and lay down in just their petticoats. A cool breeze caressed Emily’s hot feet.
At first she had a jangly dream filled with splotches of colour, like the puddles of paint she had used this morning: the blue sky, the O’Reillys’ smooth green lawn, the pink and white roses in Pop’s garden, and Raven’s purple sheen. Then she sank into a dreamless void.
They were deeply asleep when Helen called up the stairs. “Alice and Millie! Are you finished packing? Come and play with us.”
“We’re coming!” answered Alice groggily. Emily changed into her white muslin frock. It was a hand-me-down from Alice; Alice’s identical one had once been Lizzie’s. Muslin was more comfortable than stiff cotton. Emily turned so that Alice could tie her sash, glad that she didn’t have to wear a pinafore in the evening. Her feet felt much cooler in the light shoes and short socks she was allowed to wear for dinner in the summer.
The nap had completely refreshed her. Mother was better, and in the morning they were going home! As for Kitty . . . Emily would simply not think of her.
“Hurry up, Alice,” she called, running out of the room. “I’ll race you downstairs!”
Emily’s mind was so focused on tomorrow that she couldn’t pay attention to the rowdy game of battledore and shuttlecock. She flicked at the shuttlecock vaguely, missing it every time.
“I’m really going to miss you,” she heard Mary whisper to Alice.
“Me, too!” said Alice, squeezing her friend’s hand.
I won’t miss any of the people, thought Emily, but I’ll miss the animals.
“I’m not playing anymore,” she informed the others. This evening she could cuddle with Barley on the hearth rug as usual, but she must go and say goodbye to Cricket.
She sneaked into the dining room and grabbed some sugar lumps from the silver bowl on the sideboard. Then she ran uphill to the stable and found the pinto pony eating his dinner of oats.
Emily was laughing at how Cricket’s soft nose tickled her hand, when Helen appeared at the stable door, red and puffing.
“Oh, there you are, Millie . . . Mama says you and Alice must fetch your pinafore now.”
Emily trudged back, trying to think of an excuse not to go. Alice was waiting on the lawn.
Mrs. Crane stood beside her, holding their hats. “Please give my kind regards to Mrs. O’Reilly and don’t linger,” she told them. “Dinner is in half an hour.”
“I’m staying here,” mumbled Emily. “Alice doesn’t mind going by herself.”
“Nonsense, child! Alice can’t go out on the road alone.”
“It’s just next door,” said Emily. “She’ll be fine.”
“I really will, Mrs. Crane,” said Alice politely.
Mrs. Crane frowned at both of them. “Stop arguing and do as you are told!”
“Yes, Mrs. Crane,” they answered.
Emily panicked as she followed Alice up the hill. How could she possibly encounter Kitty again? But then she hit on a solution. She would wait at the O’Reillys’ gate and let Alice enter the house alone.
TWELVE
“Kathleen, where are you?”
Kitty jerked awake: Mama and Jack were home!
She stumbled out of the glade, the light dazing her. A cloud of tiny orange butterflies floated in the warm air. She made her way towards the front of the house, brushing bits of moss and twigs from her hair and frock and stockings.
“There you are, Kathleen. Look at the state of you!”
Why was Mama looking so cross and why was she calling her Kathleen? She did so only when she was displeased. Mama’s face was flushed and her usually immaculate hair was dishevelled. Perhaps she was simply tired and hot from her long day.
“Come and say hello to Sophie,” ordered Mama. Her voice was so cold it made Kitty shiver. She was angry. Was she still upset that Kitty hadn’t gone to the picnic?
The Pembertons’ grand carriage was standing in the road. Jack and Joe were off to one side, giggling as they peered into a box that Jack was holding.
“Kitty!” Sophie jumped out of the carriage, ran up to Kitty, and embraced her. “How I missed you today!”
Kitty tried to smile, but she felt unreal—as if her body belonged to someone else.
Sophie told her what fun they had had on the picnic. Kitty had always enjoyed her friend. Sophie was such a clever girl, full of interesting ideas about art and music. Today, however, her voice seemed to come from far away.
“Won’t you visit me tomorrow?” Sophie asked, after Kitty had mumbled automatic greetings to Sophie’s parents and brother. “You could bring your paints.”
“Of course she can,” said Mama.
“Come after lunch and we can have the whole afternoon together,” urged Sophie.
Kitty nodded to get back Mama’s approval. The last time she’d been to the Pembertons’, however, her stomach had been so bad that she’d had to leave.
But that wouldn’t happen anymore, she realized bleakly. Now Kitty could leave her home because she was no longer leaving Pop behind . . . Pop wasn’t here anymore.
The carriage rumbled away. Jack ran up to Kitty. His nose and the tops of his cheeks were sunburnt. “Look at the present I brought for you, Puss!”
He handed Kitty a grubby box. She opened it gingerly then recoiled as a small garter snake reared its head.
“Ha, ha, I tricked you!”
“Jack, that was unkind of you,” scolded Mama. “Off you go. Put the snake in the garden and then wash your hands.”
Jack skipped away and Mama examined Kitty. “What on earth have you been doing? Your frock is filthy!” Her nose wrinkled. “Have you been overexerting yourself? You’re in need of a wash.”
“I was . . . playing in the woods,” mumbled Kitty.
Mama clucked her tongue. “Kathleen, you are a young lady now, not a child. You’re far too old to play in the woods. Go into the house and wash, then put on a clean frock. I’m going to consult with Chin about dinner. Then you can help me pick some flowers for the table.” She took off her hat. “And please take this to my room and bring me my cap.”
“Yes, Mama,” said Kitty. She asked Nischia for some hot water. When it arrived, she soaped her underarms and washed her face and hands. Usually Kitty enjoyed choosing which frock to wear for dinner, but now she grabbed one without even noticing it. After fetching Mama’s cap, she found her in the cutting garden.
Kitty took the basket from her. “Did you have a good time at Mill Stream?” she asked, forcing her voice to sound pleasant.
Mama’s voice was just as stiff. It was as though they were strangers making polite conversation. “Yes, we did. It was a rare day
, so hot and still. The boys waded in the stream, and our picnic was delicious. What did you do with yourself all day?”
Her eyes were so cold. What could Kitty answer? Perhaps she could tell her only part of the truth.
She forced her voice to sound lively, even though it hurt to talk about Emily. “Well, the most amusing thing happened, Mama. I was going for a walk in the early morning and I met a little girl—the one who is staying with the Cranes because her mother is ill. She wasn’t happy there, so I invited her to spend the day with me.”
Mama looked surprised. “That seems like an impetuous invitation. Do you mean one of the Carr girls?”
“Yes. Emily Carr.”
“Mmm . . . your father does business with her father. How old is she?”
“Nine.”
“And what did you do all day?” Why was her voice so icy?
Kitty lowered her face to the basket of flowers. “We looked at the animals and painted and had lunch and then she went home.” That wasn’t exactly a lie.
“You should not have had anyone over when I wasn’t here,” said Mama.
“Yes, Mama,” said Kitty.
They approached Pop’s garden. Kitty’s whole being clenched as Mama began snipping some of the sumptuous flowers. How could she be doing this without remembering that it was Pop’s birthday?
Mama turned around, as if she could feel the force of Kitty’s anger. She put down the trug and looked into Kitty’s eyes. “Tell me what else you did today.”
She knew. Somehow Mama knew that Kitty and Emily had gone into town on their own. Someone must have seen them and told her.
“Oh, Mama . . .” Kitty’s voice quavered. “There’s something I need to confess.”
“There certainly is, Kathleen.” Mama picked up the trug. “I’ll take these flowers into the kitchen and ask Song to bring us tea in my room.”
A few minutes later they were sitting in Mama’s bedroom. The cozy space was cluttered with cushions and ornaments and small tables and chairs.
Mama handed Kitty a cup of tea. “Jack is having his tea in the kitchen and I’ve told him not to disturb us. Now, young lady, what do you have to tell me?”
Kitty took a soothing sip of the fragrant, smoky tea. It was Lapsang Souchong, her favourite. “Mama, I’m going to tell you what I really did today. You won’t be pleased with me . . . but will you promise not to say anything until I finish?”
Mama nodded. She kept her promise, but as Kitty’s story progressed, she frowned more and more deeply.
“So it wasn’t true!” finished Kitty. “It was all a fraud.” She was so drained she wanted to curl up on the chair and sleep.
Mama’s voice was stern. “I’m extremely disappointed in you, Kathleen. On the way home we stopped at your Aunt Julia’s so I could deliver a letter. She took me aside and said she had seen you in town with an unknown child. You know you are not to go there on your own, and you wasted Chin’s time by asking him to take you. Worst of all, you went into a stranger’s house and spent all your money for her tomfoolery. That woman should be fined! Tomorrow I shall visit her and get your money back. How could you act so foolishly? I thought we had brought you up to be more sensible.”
“I’m so sorry, Mama,” Kitty whispered. “Will you forgive me?”
Mama put down her cup and fanned her face. Her expression softened. “Yes, Kitty, I forgive you, although I simply don’t understand how you could behave in such a way. We won’t tell your father. He’s already so worried about you, and so am I.” She hesitated. “My poor child . . . did you really believe that you could talk to Pop?”
Kitty could only answer with a nod. To her surprise, there were tears in Mama’s eyes.
“I’m sorry, Puss. I didn’t realize that your grief was so deep that it would cause you to go to such an extreme. Listen to me, my darling. You said you were comforted when that woman told you that Pop is happy. Can’t you still be comforted? She is happy, you know. She’s with the angel children who stand around the throne of God. Pop is at peace, my pet. Can’t you believe that?”
Kitty erupted before she could stop herself. “No, I can’t! I don’t believe anything anymore! Sometimes I don’t even believe in God!”
Mama was shocked into silence. Kitty wished back her bitter words, but it was too late.
Finally Mama spoke again. “You don’t know what you are saying, Kitty. You’re not in your right mind. What has happened to you? You used to be such a compliant child. Now I never know what you will do or say next! Why would you ask a stranger over when you haven’t had any of your friends to visit for months? All day poor Sophie talked about how much she missed your company. She asked me why you didn’t see her anymore and I simply couldn’t answer.”
“I said I’d visit her tomorrow,” muttered Kitty.
“Yes, but I know you will immediately return home with a pain.”
“I’m over that now,” said Kitty dully. “I can go on calls with you and attend concerts and spend time with Sophie and Gerty and Katie. I suppose I could even go back to school this fall.”
Mama beamed. “Good for you, my pet! I knew you could conquer your fears if you tried! Papa will be so proud.”
She searched for something in her reticule. “Now, Kitty, let’s forget about your behaviour today and turn over a new leaf. I picked up a letter from Papa when I was in town. Would you like to hear it? He’s written something that will please you.”
She read aloud the letter. Kitty tried to pay attention, but she felt as if someone else were listening, not her.
There was a knock on the door. Kitty opened it to Nischia.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, Ma’am, but there are two little girls here to see Miss Kathleen.”
THIRTEEN
Emily didn’t know where to look. Alice had turned shy at the last moment and insisted that Emily come with her to the front door. Now the three girls stood awkwardly in the front hall.
“Good evening, Kitty,” said Alice. “We’ve come to rescue Millie’s pinafore! She took it off and left it here. Sometimes my little sister doesn’t know how to behave properly,” she added, in a superior tone that made Emily want to kick her.
“I’ll go and look for the pinafore,” mumbled Kitty. “If you wait in the back garden, I’ll bring it out to you.”
Emily led Alice along the hall and out the door to the lawn.
“This house is so elegant,” said Alice. “And what a beautiful garden! It’s even prettier than the Cranes’. Do you think Kitty will show us around?”
“No!” snapped Emily. “As soon as she brings my pinafore, we’re leaving.”
Kitty joined them and handed over the bundle of dirty cotton that was Emily’s pinafore. How strained she looked! Her face was pale and her eyes raw. She seemed defeated, as if a light had gone out inside of her.
She’s probably realized I was telling the truth, thought Emily. She must have been so crushed. Was Kitty still angry with her? Emily’s own anger had vanished. All she could feel for this sad girl was pity.
She crunched her pinafore under her arm and wished they could leave. Then she remembered: her painting! But if she asked for it, she would have to talk directly to Kitty.
Alice prattled on. “Our mother is better!” she said.
Kitty glanced at Emily. “I’m so glad. When did you hear?”
“Our father sent a messenger,” said Alice. “We’re to leave tomorrow after breakfast. Our older sister is coming for us.”
“We should go now,” muttered Emily. “We’re supposed to be back for dinner.” She couldn’t make her mouth form the words to ask for her painting.
“Oh, please don’t go!” Kitty looked urgently at Emily. “Can’t you have dinner here?”
“Both of us?” said Alice with delight.
Kitty gazed at Alice as if she had forgotten her. “Um . . . of course. I’ll ask my mother.” She went into the house.
“Oh, I hope she says yes!” said Alice.
E
mily didn’t know what to do. If Kitty wanted her to stay for dinner, she must like her again. But what had made her change her mind? She couldn’t ask her while Alice was here.
Emily thought fast. “Alice, don’t you think Mary will be upset that you’re missing your last night together? You’ve become such good friends. It will really hurt her feelings if you aren’t there.”
“I hadn’t thought of that. Do you think so?”
Emily nodded. It was true: Mary would be upset.
Kitty returned, looking flushed. “Mama gave her permission. We can send Song over to the Cranes with a message.”
Alice drew herself up like one of her older sisters. “I’m sorry, Kitty, but I can’t accept your kind invitation. I have a commitment at the Cranes that I mustn’t break.”
Emily grinned. Good old Alice!
Kitty looked just as relieved. “Mama says that dinner will be late today,” she said. “But tell Mrs. Crane that Emily will be home before it gets dark.”
They walked up to the gate with Alice. Emily kissed her. “Goodbye, Millie!” Alice called. Her voice was forlorn. But Emily had already turned to Kitty.
Immediately Kitty said, “Emily, I want to apologize. You were correct about Mrs. Tolliver. It was all a fraud. I’m sorry I called you a liar and sent you away.”
Emily’s heart soared. “That’s all right,” she answered. “You just didn’t want to believe it. Are you—are you all right?”
“How can I ever be all right?” said Kitty. Her voice was so bleak that it made Emily shiver. Then the older girl tried to smile. “But let’s not talk about that anymore. We have lots of time before dinner. What shall we do? Mama is helping Chin in the kitchen and Jack is supposed to be reading a book on his bed. I suspect he isn’t, though. Jack dislikes reading.”
Sure enough, when they reached the lawn Jack was there, pounding in croquet hoops.
“This is my brother, Jack,” said Kitty. “Jack, this is Emily Carr.”
Jack didn’t answer; he was trying to tug out a hoop he had hammered in too low. “Say hello properly, Jack,” Kitty told him.