by Carl Weber
“Aw’ight.” I waved. “Y’all come on in the house, ’cause this boy is falling asleep in my arms.”
Diane handed Katie to Trent. He followed me into the house and up the stairs. Surprisingly, he didn’t say a word until after both the kids were in the bed.
“Wil?” Trent tapped my shoulder as we walked toward the stairs. I sighed. I thought I was almost home free.
“Look, Trent, I know what you’re gonna say. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you out there.”
“Embarrass me? Embarrass me how?”
“You know. Staring at Brenda’s teeth. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. If you want, I’ll apologize to her.”
He chuckled. “Apologize? Apologize for what? Please, Wil, that girl knows she needs a good dentist. Why you think she’s messin’ with me?”
I had no idea what the connection could be between her crooked teeth and my brother. But knowing Trent like I did, I probably didn’t want to know the answer. So I didn’t ask.
“Well, if it’s not about me staring at her teeth, then what did you wanna talk to me about?”
“Man, I wanted to know if you could lend me a hundred bucks so I could take Brenda out.”
“A hundred bucks? Are you crazy? You already owe me three hundred bucks from last month when you were short on your rent. If Diane knew I gave you money she’d kill me.”
“I know that, Wil. And I’m gonna pay you back. Shit, I wouldn’t even be asking you for this if I hadn’t spent my last fifty on your kids at Chuck E. Cheese. Not that I’m complaining. You know I love them kids.”
Damn, why’d he have to go there? I wasn’t gonna give him shit. But now I felt bad that he spent his money on my kids. Trent was an ass, but if there was one thing I had to give him credit for, he was a good uncle. He’d do anything for my kids. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my wallet.
“I only got sixty on me.”
He snatched the money outta my hand. “That’ll do,” he said before heading down the stairs. I looked at my empty wallet and a little voice in the back of my head whispered, He got you again, didn’t he?
I sighed quietly to myself as I followed my brother down the stairs.
Trent and I walked into the den and found Diane sipping on a glass of wine.
“Hey, where’s Brenda? She in the bathroom or something?” Trent looked around the room.
“No. She left in a cab about two minutes ago.” Diane smirked.
“What?” Trent turned his head toward Diane. “Why’d she leave?”
“I don’t know. Something about she had to get to her office and cancel your tickets to Hawaii.”
“Cancel my tickets to Hawaii! She can’t do that! I was gonna sell those tickets to pay my car note.”
I wasn’t sure yet what was going on, but my grinning wife obviously had some idea, and she was thoroughly enjoying herself. Poor Trent stood there looking like his whole world was coming apart.
“Oh, yeah,” Diane said a little too gleefully, “and she told me to tell you to lose her number.”
“She sure told you a lot, didn’t she?” Trent snarled at my wife. “So, Diane, what the hell did you tell her?”
Di shrugged her shoulders and tried to look innocent. “I ain’t tell her shit. All I did was answer her questions. That’s all.”
“Questions! What questions?” Trent was getting heated now. And to be honest, Diane was acting like a real ass. I didn’t really think Trent would get stupid in my house, but I took a few steps toward my wife just in case he flew off the handle.
“She asked me if Wil was a dentist like you.” Diane let out a laugh. She looked at me, but I declined to join in on her little game. Trent just shook his head. I guess he knew what the rest of the story would be. No doubt he was wishing he’d left the girl in the car when he dropped off the kids.
“And what did you tell her?” He tried to keep his voice under control but it was obvious he was not a happy camper.
“I told her that my husband ain’t no damn dentist! And neither are you.” Trent closed his eyes in anger. “Oh, yeah. She also asked me who this Michelle was that keeps calling you. It seems you completely forgot to tell her about your crazy baby momma.”
Trent took a step toward Diane, then turned and walked toward the door. The tension in my shoulders relaxed just a bit, knowing this latest little confrontation was almost over.
“You know what, Diane?”
“What’s that, Trent?” Diane smirked at him.
“You need to stop player hatin’.” Trent didn’t wait for a response. He just walked out the door and sped away in his Mercedes.
2
Trent
I was in the middle of a catnap when the phone rang. I let the answering machine get it, ’cause I had a pretty good idea who was calling. And I was right. It was Brenda, the fine ass travel agent with the messed-up teeth I’d been spending time with lately. She had some fucking nerve trying to call me now. Especially after she’d hung up the phone on me when I called her earlier. I tried to call back three times, but she kept hanging up. I know she was still upset about that shit Diane said but she wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain. So now, as far as I was concerned, she could kiss my naturally black ass, ’cause I didn’t have shit to say to her. I was just glad she didn’t have a chance to cancel my tickets to Hawaii before I got over to Kennedy Airport to cash them in.
“Trent, you bastard, I know you’re home! Pick up the phone!” Brenda’s shrill voice came through my answering machine like a sonic boom. I figured by now she would have known I cashed in the tickets, but it sounded like I’d overestimated her. “Trent, goddamnit! I want my tickets back! Do you hear me? I want my fucking tickets back, or…”
I picked up the receiver. I hated when women made empty threats. “Or what? What the fuck you gonna do, Brenda?”
“Or I’m gonna come over there with a hammer and break every window on your fucking car! That’s what!” Now that stopped my laughter cold. I’m not gonna lie, she had me shook. That wasn’t no empty threat she’d just made. I could tell by her voice she was dead serious, and the last thing I wanted her to do was mess with my car. My Mercedes was my most prized possession.
“Now, Brenda,” I stated calmly, “why you gonna go and threaten my car like that? You know how much that car means to me.” Besides that, I hadn’t paid my car insurance this month.
“If you so damned concerned about your fucking car, then give me my tickets back.”
I glanced at the pile of hundred-dollar bills sitting on my coffee table. I’d gotten them from cashing in the airline tickets. No way was I giving back that money. I needed it to pay my past-due car note.
“I’m sorry, Brenda, but I can’t do that.”
“I’m sorry too, Trent.” Her voice was so polite it was eerie. But that was just the calm before the storm, because then she exploded. “If I don’t get my money, I’m gonna fuck your car up!”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you leave my car outta this! You hear me? You touch my car and I’m gonna kick your fucking ass.”
“Well, then you go ahead and kick it, ’cause I’m coming over there right now, you fake ass dentist.”
“Fake ass dentist?” I repeated calmly.
“That’s right, fake ass dentist. Your sister-in-law told me the truth about you. You ain’t no dentist. You ain’t even got a job, you lying bastard. What I should do is call the police on your ass.”
“Go ’head. Call ’em.” I laughed smugly. “But before you do, let me point out a few things to you. First of all, you gave me those tickets as a birthday gift. And I got the birthday card you gave me to prove it. So legally, I ain’t gotta give shit back. And why you believing my sister-in-law anyway? How you think I pay for a Mercedes and an apartment overlooking Jamaica Bay if I ain’t got no job?” There was silence on the line. “Did Diane explain that one to you?”
“No,” she said weakly.
“Brenda, I’m a dentist ju
st like I told you. You’ve seen my degrees and the state license on my wall. What did you think they were, fake?”
She was silent on her end as I got up off the sofa and walked into the second bedroom. I had turned it into an office. With my free hand, I wiped the dust from the glass framing the New York State dentistry license I had just mentioned to Brenda. It was hanging above my undergraduate and dentistry degrees.
“Well, what about this baby? I thought you told me you don’t have any kids.”
“Brenda, Brenda, Brenda, you are so naive. You saw me with my niece and nephew today at Chuck E. Cheese. Do I look like the kind of man who would hide his child from you or anyone else for that matter? I love children.”
“But she said…” Brenda finally sighed.
“But she said what?” I asked her in irritation. “I told you at Chuck E. Cheese that Diane and I don’t get along, didn’t I? She’s a hater, Brenda. A straight-up hater.”
She muttered something that sounded like, “I’m sorry, Trent.”
“Sorry about what? That you finally found a good man but you weren’t woman enough to believe in him? You know what, Brenda? I can’t tell you how disappointed I am in you.” More silence. “You calling me up, threatening my car, walking out of my brother’s house, embarrassing me. For what?” She had nothing to say. “Diane played you, Brenda. And not only did it cost you this relationship, but it cost you getting those teeth of yours fixed for free.”
I hung up the phone with a satisfied grin. I was sure Brenda would call back, but next time she would probably be a little more humble. I was about to go back into the living room and finish my nap, but it seemed like the second I hung up the phone someone was knocking at my door. The first thing that came to mind was Brenda and her hammer. Had she played me? Was she outside on her cell the whole time? Was she gonna fuck up my car? Or had she already done it?
“Who is it?” I shouted as I ran to the window to check my car.
“It’s Mrs. Wilson, Trent. I’ve come for your rent.”
“Damn,” I mumbled when I heard the voice of Viola, the three-hundred-pound, pain-in-the-ass wife of my landlord, Mr. Wilson. I knew I was gonna have to pay my rent soon, but I’d completely forgotten it was the first Thursday of the month, the day she came by to collect the rent money from those who hadn’t made it to the rental office. Normally, when I didn’t have her money I would try to duck her, but now that I’d opened my big mouth, she knew I was there. I walked to the door and put on a fake smile as I opened it.
“Hey, Viola. What’s up?” I was as polite as I could manage to be considering Viola was the last person I wanted to see, other than Brenda.
“My husband sent me to collect the rent.” Viola smiled as she stuck out her huge pawlike hand. I don’t know who she thought she was fooling. It was nine o’clock on a Thursday night. Her husband was probably curled up with a bottle of gin, passed out on the couch somewhere.
“Damn, it seems like I just paid rent last week. Is it that time of the month again already?”
“Yep, it sure is.” Viola grinned flirtatiously. She purposely brushed her extra-large breasts against my chest as she walked into my apartment. “So, do you have the rent money, or are we gonna have to work something out like we did last month? I don’t mind giving you a few extra weeks to pay, Trent. That is, as long as you’re nice to me.”
My stomach started to do flips as I remembered just how Viola and I had worked things out last month. I had no problem sleeping with her to push back my rent a few weeks. I mean, she was big as shit, but she wasn’t ugly or anything. And she had given me almost a thousand-dollar break on my rent. It’s just that, well, Viola had a hygiene problem, a real bad hygiene problem. I swear, after I had sex with her it took three days to get her funky-ass scent off me. I felt like I’d been sprayed by a skunk. It was totally disgusting.
“Well, you got my money, or are you gonna give me some honey?” Viola kicked off her shoes and opened her arms, gesturing for me to come to her. She was obviously hoping I was broke. I took a step back, shaking my head. No way was I putting my nose through that again.
“I got your money right here, Viola.” I practically ran to the coffee table to get the money from the airline tickets. “Here you go. Three thousand dollars.”
I shoved the money in her hand. My past-due car note was just gonna have to wait.
“Now, Trent, honey, you know you don’t have to pay all this at one time. I know times are hard. I don’t mind helping you out as long as you help me out once in a while. And, baby, I need some help right now.” She started to lift up her skirt, and I turned my head with a grimace when I saw that she wasn’t wearing any panties. I was definitely going to have to break out the air freshener once I got her ass out of here.
“I’m sorry, Viola, but I can’t help you.” I walked toward the door.
“Why not?” That was definitely not what she was hoping to hear. She truly looked insulted.
“Well, to be honest, I’m dating someone seriously right now, and I’d hate to start cheating on her this early in the relationship. You can understand that, can’t you?” I opened the door and hoped she’d get the hint, but she stood her ground, staring out the window as she interrogated me.
“I know you ain’t talking about that big ass woman with the messed-up teeth.”
“No, not her. She’s just a friend. I’m talking about the tall, light-skinned girl with the blond locks.”
“Her?” Viola placed a hand on her hips and gave me a skeptical glance. “I thought she was your sister.”
“Why would you think that?”
“’Cause you told me that last month, right before we got our groove on.”
“Well…” Damn. I hated getting caught in a lie. “She’s not my sister. She’s my girl.”
“You sure about this? ’Cause Viola don’t like to be lied to.”
“Ain’t nobody lying to you. And yeah, I’m sure. You got your money, Viola.”
She slipped her feet into her shoes and I breathed a sigh of relief. It looked like she was gonna give up before she had to resort to begging. I waited by the door to see her out, but something out the window caught her attention and she started to laugh.
“Um, Trent? Isn’t that your car that man’s about to tow away?”
“Please, Viola. Ain’t no one out there towing my car.” I stuck my head out the door and almost had a heart attack. “Oh, shit! Hey! What the hell are you doing? Get away from my car!”
I could hear Viola’s hysterical laughter as I took off for my car. The skinny ass brother hooking my car up didn’t know it, but I was about to give him the ass whipping of his life. That is until a short, balding, overweight white man stepped out of the truck carrying a shotgun.
“Calm down there, fella.” He didn’t have to tell me twice as he raised his gun at my chest. I froze, raising my hands above my head.
“What are you doin’ to my car?”
“What you think we doin’? We’re repossessing it.” The skinny brother laughed. “Unless you got the thirty-three hundred you owe Financial Credit.”
I glanced evilly at the brother who had finished hooking up my car and was now standing next to his partner. “You like fucking over black folks, don’t you?”
“No, I like fucking over anyone who don’t pay their bills. I’m an equal opportunity hater, man.” He laughed until his partner shot him a look.
“Look. We’re just doing our job,” the white man told me as he handed me a piece of yellow paper.
“Well, your fucking job sucks!” I looked down at the paper. “Look here. I don’t even owe Financial Credit thirty-three hundred. I only owe them twenty-eight hundred.”
“Not after you add in the towing fee, the repossession fee, collection fee and storage,” the brother interjected happily. I ignored him and turned to the white man.
“Look, man, I know you gotta get something outta the deal. So what if I give you three grand? You think you can make this go aw
ay?”
The man with the gun looked at his partner, then turned to me.
“You give us three grand cash right now and we’ll make sure this thing goes away.”
“Hold on one minute, okay? I just have to get the money.” The white man nodded and I ran over to Viola, who was just about to walk into the rental office. “Viola, sweetheart, I need to get that money back. So why don’t you come back over to my house and we can discuss those terms you wanted.”
She shook her head. “Thanks, but no thanks, Trent.”
“What do you mean? I thought you said you wanted me to help you with your problem.”
“I did, but that was before you got all high and mighty about cheating. As many women as you have running through here? Just ’cause I’m big don’t mean I ain’t got no pride, Trent.”
“Come on, Viola,” I pleaded.
I knew it would probably make me sick to my stomach, but I decided to use a desperate tactic. I whispered to her, “Remember when you asked me to go down on you last time and I told you I don’t do that?”
“Mmm-hmm. I knew your ass was lying.”
“I wasn’t lying, but I’m willing to try it now. Come on, let’s go back over to my place.”
She smiled, so I think I piqued her interest. “You mean it? You’re really willing to try it for me?”
“Of course I am.” I tried to guide her toward my apartment. “I just need to get that money back so they won’t repossess my car. Then I’m gonna eat you like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day.” That is, if I don’t throw up first, I thought.
Viola stared at me with an erotic smile. It was pretty obvious by her dazed look and heavy breathing that she was daydreaming about my head between her legs. I was sure that any moment she was going to hand me back my money and drag me to my apartment for some of her funky lovin’. But to my chagrin, she flashed the money in my face, then tucked it away securely in her bra.
“Viola, what you doing?”
She stepped into the rental office. “I’m gonna put this money in the safe, then I’m gonna take my ass over to the Benny’s Bar in Hollis and find me a real man. One who appreciates a woman like me.” She started to close the door. I stopped it with my foot.