“Watch telly,” she replied. “Read. Sometimes I like to just lie on my bed and look up at the sky through the window and let my mind wander wherever it wants. Why do you ask?”
“No reason. Erm… do I strike you as a relaxed type of person?”
Rachel burst out laughing.
“Why is that funny?” I asked.
“Because you are one of life’s doers, not one of life’s dreamers. Knowing you, if you were going to relax, you’d have to make a list about how you were going to go about it first with a timetable saying when and for how long.”
Not a bad idea, I thought, and I made a mental note to do just that. I could put relaxation on my list of things to do and include it in with my school schedule. I liked to highlight my different subject areas in different coloured markers. I enjoyed doing that almost as much as making my lists. I’d mark each subject in a different coloured felt pen. Green for geography, blue for history and so on. Yellow could be for relaxation. I had two separate sheets. One for the timetable at school and one for my homework schedule out of school. That way, I could see clearly exactly where I was up to and what needed to be done and what time was spare. Then I realized that Rachel was joking.
“I can relax. Really I can. Just everyone has their own way of doing it.”
“Exactly,” said Rachel, but she didn’t look convinced.
We didn’t talk about it any more because the bus had reached its last stop. We had arrived in Osbury.
Luckily for us, the rain that had been threatening earlier had blown away and the afternoon had brightened. We got off and surveyed the area. It was a pretty village typical of the South of England with a patch of grass in front of the bus shelter, a church at the end of the green, a bush of white roses by a hall next to the church and over the road a row of shops.
“Where to?” asked Rachel.
I pointed to the shops. “Let’s start there first.”
We made our way over the green and looked at the shops. There were the usual: chemists, newsagents, a charity shop, a hardware shop, mini-market.
“Doesn’t look like the kind of place where planets would live,” said Rachel.
I was about to agree with her when I spotted a deli. “Hah,” I said. “Look over there. I bet that’s the deli that Jupiter owns. Dad told me that’s what he did. Look, it’s called Europa and Europa is one of the four moons of Jupiter. Io, Europa, Ganymede and Callisto.”
We went over for a closer look. It looked like any other deli. Tables, chairs, a counter at the back. A big notice on the door said CLOSED.
“Well, it is half past four,” said Rachel.
“I guess. But most places don’t close until six or so.”
“Maybe he’s on holiday. Hey,” said Rachel when we walked on and she spotted a beauty salon. “Didn’t you say that Nessa owned a beauty salon?”
I nodded. “And I bet that’s it,” I said when I noticed that it was called Pentangle. “That would be appropriate for Venus. A pentangle is a five-pointed star and that is often associated with Venus.”
“Why?”
“I think that Venus makes a pentangle star shape as it travels around the Sun,” I replied. “Let’s go in and see if anyone knows anything about Hermie.”
We went up to the door but it was clear that no-one was there either. The blinds were down and on the door was a sign like the one at Europa. CLOSED.
“And I bet I know exactly where she is too,” I said.
“Your house?”
I nodded. “Along with the others. Not to see me though. It was last week that my moon was conjunct with Venus. From what I’ve been able to see there are no encounters with her this week or next, but then I might be wrong. If only Hermie were here, he could explain properly.” I pointed to another shop front towards the end of the row. “And there’s the cyber café Dad talked about. It’s also a magic shop.”
“That’s run by the Uranus planet man isn’t it?”
“I guess so. At least it is when it’s open,” I said as I noticed another CLOSED sign. “What is it with this place? It’s like a ghost town. Doesn’t anyone work around here?”
Rachel pointed to a fish and chip shop. “That’s bound to be open. Let’s go in there. I’m starving.”
“I wouldn’t even bother checking,” I said when I saw the name of the shop. Poseidon. “Poseidon’s another name for Neptune. He’ll be over having a beer with Dad.” Right enough, when we got close enough to see, like the others, there was a CLOSED sign on the door. “Apparently some of them are at our house during the day too, having lunch, playing cards.”
“You sound upset, Thebe,” said Rachel and she linked her arm through mine. “Come on. I’ll buy you some chocolate buttons to cheer you up.”
I tried to smile but she was right. I was upset. I couldn’t help it but I was getting more and more wound up about the fact that everyone in the world seemed to be having a good time in my zodiac month except me.
Rachel bought me the buttons and some crisps for her (I can’t eat them as I am allergic to the MSG they put in them) then we walked up and down the street a couple of times and looked in all the windows. There was no sign of Hermie or any of the planet people. I even asked a couple of people in various shops if they’d seen Hermie or knew an office or building called Mercury Communications. Most people knew who he was but no-one could tell me where to find him.
“Gone on holiday, I think, love,” said a young man with ginger hair in the chemists.
“Not seen him about lately,” said an elderly Indian man in the newsagents. “He often disappears a couple of times a year. Goes off on that bike of his.”
“I heard he likes to go to a spa resort,” said an old lady in the charity shop. “One of those rest, get pampered, relax and recharge type places. Good for him, eh?”
After a good half hour, we had to catch the bus as Rachel had to be back home for her supper. I got on board feeling disappointed. We took seats at the back and as we sat down my zodiamobile bleeped that there was a message. My spirits rose in an instant as I glanced down.
“Merwanna peranna, oogie boogie blurh,” read the message.
Rachel looked over my shoulders. “Is that planet speak?” she asked. “Do we need a dictionary to interpret it?”
I shook my head. “No. It’s simply typical of the type of thing that can happen when Mercury is retrograde. Remember? Mercury retrograde means garbled messages? Miscommunications?”
Rachel cracked up laughing. “Brilliant,” she said. “Because you can’t get more garbled than that. Merwanna peranna, oogie boogie blurh.”
I wished I could have laughed along with her but it didn’t strike me as funny. It was just another disappointment in my “special” month.
Chapter Eight
Preparation!
“You making one of your lists?” asked Rachel when she found me sitting outside the hall just before assembly on the following Friday.
“Yep. Big night tonight,” I said as I showed her my notebook.
Thebe’s list of things to do
1) Hallway: Mars area. Remove shoes and coats not being used. Make sure there are flowers.
2) Living room: Pluto area. Needs dusting.
3) Study: Mercury area. Put books and magazines into neat piles.
4) Dining room: Jupiter area. Dust and polish. Shine glasses and cutlery.
5) Kitchen: Sun area. Clear and tidy all surfaces.
6) Mum and Dad’s bedroom: Uranus area. Pick up all discarded clothes.
7) Bathroom: Neptune area: clean towels and new soaps.
8) My room: Venus area. Tidy my side.
9) Pat’s room: ex-Moon area. No entry.
10) Spare room: Saturn area. Keep door firmly shut.
11) Confirm food and fruit punch.
“Long list. Big night? What’s happening?” she asked.
“Mum’s asked all the planet people over for dinner and I’ve decided that what I need to do is organize the lot of them,�
�� I said.
“Organize them? But why?” she asked as she looked over my list again.
“I think they’re all spaced out. Seriously. Disorganized. They’ve forgotten what they’re meant to be doing. I think they need a secretary or a PA or someone to do their schedules and sort them out.”
Rachel looked doubtful. “I don’t know. I mean, they’re the planet people, you’re the Zodiac Girl. Aren’t they supposed to be telling you what to do?”
“That’s just it. They’re not telling me anything. I get home most nights to find one or two of them there lounging about in Dad’s study or lolling in the garden – like, doing nothing. Anyone would think that they’re on holiday. I told you about the other night when Sonny was over. I mean lying about listening to music? Excuse me but what a waste of time that was. And Selene, although she’s terribly nice. She needs to get a grip. Way too emotional. Crying one minute. Laughing the next. And Nessa, hanging out doing people’s nails. I mean puhleese, has she forgotten who she is?”
Rachel still looked anxious. “I don’t know, Thebe. It simply sounds to me like they feel at home at your place and who can blame them? It must be like their dream house.”
“Maybe, but surely they have planet work to do?”
“Yeah, but even planet people deserve some time off, don’t you think? And maybe how they choose to relax is their business, their choice. I mean, you can’t control the planets, can you?”
“I’m not going to try and control them!”
“Well you know what you’re like.”
“What do you mean? What am I like?”
“Well you can be a bit… bossy sometimes.”
“Me? Bossy? No way. Sit up straight, Rachel.”
Rachel immediately sat up.
“That was a joke, Rachel.”
“Oh! Course. But you do like to do things your way.”
“I like to do things right, that’s all. Like at home, if I didn’t tell everyone what to do, we’d never eat or have clean clothes. And Mum and Dad love it that I colour co-ordinate their wardrobes. It makes it so easy for them to find what they’re looking for. You should try it. All the dark colours together, all the whites in one place, all Dad’s Hawaiian shirts together. It looks better too. So I run the household? That’s not controlling. That’s being organized. That’s all. And this is supposed to my special month. I want to do it right.”
Rachel shrugged her shoulders. “It’s your call. So what are you going to do?”
“We’ll have dinner, and then with them all there I’m hoping to make some plans—”
“And some lists,” Rachel added.
I got the feeling that she was poking fun at me a little. She likes to do that sometimes when she thinks I’m going into what she calls one of my “I’m-going-to-take-over-the-world” phases.
“Yeah, lists. I want to synchronize dates in the calendar this month with those highlighted as important in my birth chart. I want to make sure that if any planet person has a part to play that they don’t forget or ignore me. Like Saturn features strongly this month but he was over the other night and barely glanced my way. He was too busy with his nose in one of Dad’s books. I also think that he wasn’t very happy when he found out that the Saturn room was being used for storage – but at least he didn’t cry about it like Selene did when she discovered that Pat had painted her out.”
Rachel started laughing. “Poor planet people. Sounds like they’re in for a telling off.”
“No way. Just a… reminder.”
Rachel squeezed my arm. “I’m only teasing, Thebe. And you’re right. Some people do need organizing and you’re just the person to do it! So tell me what you’ve got planned for the dinner?”
“The food bit’s easy. Aunt Nikkya will cater as usual.”
“Fab,” said Rachel. “So what else?”
“I’m going to seat them at the same angles as they are in my chart.”
“Angles in your chart? You know I don’t understand astrology like you do. What do you mean?”
“In a birth chart, depending on where the planets are at the time of your birth, they sit at different angles to each other. Like they can be conjunct – that means within an eight-degree orb of each other, sextile – that means sixty degrees apart, square – that means ninety degrees apart, trine – that means one hundred and twenty degrees apart, opposite, which means one hundred and eighty degrees apart.”
Rachel held up her palm and said in a robot-type flat voice. “Information overload, information overload. Brain’s going to blow, brain’s going to blow. What you’re saying is that astrology is very complicated, yeah? Least it is to me. It’s like you’re talking Greek when you go on about trines and sextiles and stuff.”
I laughed. “I guess. I wouldn’t worry about it, Rach. It just means that I’m going to seat them in the right alignments.”
“Can I come? I’ll help you set up but you have to tell me what to do in plain English, not astrogobbledygook.”
“Absolutely. I already asked Mum and she said you could.”
Rachel clapped her hands. “Fab. Oh but, oh god, what if I can’t remember who they all are.”
“I’ve thought of that,” I said and ripped a page out of my note pad. “Here. I did this for you. It’s a list of who’s who so that you can come prepared.”
She took the list and glanced down it.
Sun: Sonny Olympus (or Mr O) actor. Big hunk.
Moon: Selene Luna. Counsellor.
Mars: Mario Ares. Ex-marine. Teaches self-defence.
Venus: Nessa. Runs a beauty salon and classes about how to find your inner goddess.
Pluto: PJ Vlasaova. Interior designer. Goth.
Uranus: Uri. Runs a magic shop and cyber café.
Neptune: Captain John Dory. Boatman and runs a fish and chip shop.
Mercury: Hermie. Motorbike messenger boy.
Saturn: Dr Cronus. Headmaster.
Jupiter. Joe Joeve. Deli owner.
“Thanks. That will help me remember,” she said, “you really do think of everything.”
“I try to,” I said.
“What about the anti-stars? Yasmin and Pat?”
“As soon as they heard about it, they were both ringing around trying to find a mate’s house to go to. I hope they do. In fact, I can’t wait until Yasmin goes for good. It’s been awful sharing with her. She treats me like I’m her least favourite person on the planet, which is so not fair. I did try in the beginning to make an effort to get on with her, but she hasn’t tried at all.”
Rachel sighed. “Teenagers can be difficult.”
“We’re teenagers, Rach,” I said. “In case you hadn’t noticed.”
“You know what I mean. Older ones. They think they know everything. My policy is to pretend that they don’t exist. So. Are all the planets coming?”
“Apart from Hermie. Seven o’clock is kick off. Be there or be square.”
“Or conjunct or whatever,” said Rachel.
I smacked her arm lightly. “Ha ha, very funny. Now shut up or I’ll write you another list.”
Preparations were already ongoing when I got home in plenty of time to help set out the table. Mum was up in her room buzzing with excitement and she had about eight outfits on the bed.
“I don’t know what to wear,” she sighed as she tried on a blue dress then turned to look at herself in the mirror. “Bit much? Does my bum look big in this?”
“No, you look great. All the outfits are lovely,” I said as I got out my note pad and consulted one of my lists. “Erm… just checking that you know what to do tonight.”
“Yes. Absolutely. Hand out the drinks, right?”
“Right.”
“And you said you’re going to make up a drinks menu for our guests to choose from.”
“I’ve done it,” I said. I’d spent the whole of the previous evening researching cocktail names on the Internet then adapting them for Aunt Nikkya’s alcohol-free fruit punch. “Want to look?”
Mum took the list I handed her and glanced over it.
***Menu for the Stars ***
Jungle Jupiter
Saturn Surprise
Pluto Punch
Uranus Um Bongo
Venus Sunset
Mars Mojito
Moonbeam Margerita
Screaming Sun
Neptune Nightcap
Hermie Highball
“Fabulous, baby. You are a star,” she said.
“No they are,” I joked. “Rachel and I will be taking coats,” I said.
“What time is Nikkya bringing the food and the punch?”
“Just before seven. All we have to do is pour the drinks then heat up the food up as usual. She’s making ten varieties of her punch with a different fruit in each so that each planet can have their own.”
“Excellent,” said Mum. “I think they’re going to like it. I checked and none of them drink alcohol so no need to provide any of that.”
“Why don’t they drink alcohol?” I asked.
“Mr O said they used to drink nectar of the gods and nothing compares to that, but then they haven’t tasted Aunt Nikkya’s fruit punch.”
“They’re going to love it. I do want tonight to be perfect, don’t you?”
Mum nodded. “It will be.”
“When will Dad be back?”
“Just in time. He’s in the city doing a pre-recording for next week’s show and meeting with that ice-skating lady. How are you getting on with your practice?”
“Oh, making progress,” I lied. I didn’t want to ruin the evening by telling her how useless I was at it.
Luckily she was far too involved with the preparations for dinner. “Benjie said he’d heard back from everyone apart from—”
“Hermie,” I finished for her.
She nodded. “And Mars and Pluto can’t make it after all. Mario teaches a self-defence class he couldn’t get out of and PJ, Pluto, had a house make-over to do, but don’t worry hon, not many girls can say that they have a guest list like yours tonight, even if a few of them are missing.”
Zodiac Girls: Star Child Page 6