He didn’t move, couldn’t, not without falling on his ass and taking her with him. Instead, he rubbed her back, fisting her dark, silky hair, and held her to him, trying to think of something that might make this better for her, for both of them. He came up blank. Nothing would make this better. There was no easy fix for them.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his skin.
“Me, too, Peaches. More than you know.”
She lifted her head, tears streaming down her beautiful face. Each one that hit his shirt, soaking through, tore him to shreds.
Her trembling hands cupped his cheeks. “I want you to know, if things were different… If…” A sob burst past her lips.
Fuck, his own eyes started to prickle. Forcing his feet to move, he carried her to the bed and dropped to his knees so she was sitting on the edge. Reaching up, he slid his thumbs over her wet cheeks, leaned in, and kissed her now puffy, red lips, tasting her tears.
“I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, a month from now, a year… But I can’t go another minute”—his voice cracked—“without telling you how much I love you, Darcey Connors. I love you so fucking much.”
Her eyes slid shut and her hands fisted the front of his shirt, then her head dropped forward, resting against his chest. She was quiet for a long time, both of them breathing heavily, trying to keep it the hell together.
She lifted her head, her heart in her eyes, annihilating him. “I love you, too, Joe. I tried to fight it, I did. But you’re an easy guy to love. I just… I needed you to know that. I couldn’t bear to think you thought I didn’t care, that I thought you were shallow or…”
She gripped the side of his neck, sliding her thumb back and forth.
His heart was nothing but a shredded mess at her feet. “You love me,” he rasped.
“Yes.” Then her eyes locked with his. “I see you, Joe Colton. I see all of you. What’s deep inside, under the jokes and the smiles. You’re a good man, the best. Don’t ever forget that. Ever.”
A shudder moved through him, a sound rumbling from his chest that was a mix between pain and pleasure. He had to get up, get the fuck out of here before he pushed her back on that bed and sunk inside her. If he did that, he wouldn’t be able to leave, he’d never be able to walk away and he had to. There was no other option.
They stayed as they were for the longest time, gazes colliding, roaming the other like they were desperately trying to memorize every inch, every small detail.
“I have to go,” he choked.
A tear streaked down her cheek. “I know.”
It fucking destroyed him to do it, but he dropped his hands away, releasing her, and rose to his feet.
She drew in a shaky breath as he bent down and kissed the top of her head, drawing in her scent one last time. “Bye, Darce,” he murmured against her hair.
Then he turned and walked out the door.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Noah squinted up at Darcey. “Time’s nearly up.”
“Yeah.” She glanced around the backyard so he didn’t see the way her eyes were glistening and sucked back an unsteadying breath.
It was a nice place. Tidy. The family had a dog, which was currently leaning against her brother’s leg as he idly patted the giant, shaggy monster.
“So you’re doing okay?” For once, she didn’t make promises she wasn’t sure she could keep. Oh she was close, so damn close to being able to file for custody. Her exemption had come through without any problems, the business had picked up, but she still needed to save more before she could get into a new place.
She wanted to promise the sky and the earth. She wanted to hug him close and tell him she’d buy him a puppy of his own as soon as they were settled in their awesome new house. But he’d been let down too many times, had been waiting for her to pull off a miracle ever since their mom died. She hadn’t managed jack shit. So she’d wait until she had the keys to their house. Until she was sure she’d be granted full custody of Noah.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He glanced off across the yard, as well, looking so much older than eight years old. “No one’s mean to me or anything. They don’t really talk to me much.” His fingers curled tighter around one of the new books she’d bought him.
Staying strong right then was damn near impossible. She wanted to snatch him up and drive away, just run and never look back—go to a place where no one would find them. Where they couldn’t be torn apart.
The back door opened and Nancy, the woman who was providing temporary foster care, stepped out. Their time was up. Darcey waved, giving her a polite smile. “He’ll just be a minute.”
Nancy smiled in return and headed back inside. The woman was pleasant enough, but Noah wasn’t part of her family. He wouldn’t be staying—whether that was moving to a new placement or coming to Darcey—so Nancy did her job and didn’t allow herself to get emotionally invested. Darcey got it. She understood why—Noah was just another kid she’d have to say goodbye to in a few months’ time.
Noah didn’t run and jump into her arms like he usually did. He stood back, eyes downcast. He was hurting. Her brother was in pain, and there was nothing she could do to stop it—not yet anyway.
She didn’t want to make this harder on him, but no way could she leave without giving him a hug. She moved in, crouching in front of him. “I’ll see you real soon, okay?”
He nodded, his hand still moving over the dog’s fur. “Yeah.”
Sliding her arms around him, she drew him close, breathing in his scent. He smelled different. Different laundry detergent, shampoo, soap. He felt skinnier, too, harder. Her eyes started to sting. She couldn’t cry, not in front of him. He needed her to be strong.
“Love you, short stuff.”
“Love you, too,” he mumbled against her shoulder, squeezing her back.
They pulled apart, and the sight of his quivering lower lip sent a tremor through her, hair line cracks snaking through her heart until it couldn’t hold another minute and shattered into a million pieces, irreparably damaged.
Right then, she wasn’t just angry with Len or with herself, she was angry with her mother for dying on them, for leaving them in the care of that asshole. What had she been thinking?
Darcey gave him one last squeeze and stood. “Be good.”
He nodded, his throat working, trying to hold it together. With one last wave to Nancy, who had popped back out to fill the dog’s water bowl, she turned and walked away.
Pretending she didn’t hear Noah’s muffled sob as she left.
She was breathing like she’d run a marathon by the time she reached her car. Fuck, she hated this. How many more times would she have to say good-bye? How many times would she have to walk away from him—leaving him with people that didn’t really know him—before she could finally take him home for good?
God, she needed to find a way to do that sooner rather than later. She needed money, and she needed it now…
Her phone vibrated against her butt. For a moment, useless hope flared inside her, her heart reacting before her brain could kick in.
But it wasn’t Joe. She didn’t recognize the number.
Taking a deep breath, she put it to her ear. “Yeah?”
“Darcey?”
It took her a few seconds to recognize the voice. “Edith?”
“Yes.”
What the hell? “What do you want?”
“Please, just… Will you hear me out?”
“What can you possibly have to say to me?”
She was quiet for several seconds. “Look, I said some things to you…”
“Why are you calling me, Edith?” They didn’t do polite chitchat. In fact, they never bothered to be polite. At all.
“Len’s been arrested.”
“What?” There were a lot of reasons he should go down, too many to name, but this seemed kind of out of the blue.
“He’ll be going away for a long time,” Edith said, and she sounded kind of smug.
&n
bsp; Holy shit. Darcey almost gave in and did a happy dance there on the side of the road. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Noah didn’t deserve to get caught up in all this ugliness. I may not have known how to show it very well, but I cared about him.”
That was news to Darcey, but then, she hadn’t been in the house all the time. Noah never really said much about Edith, and Darcey had just assumed she played the wicked witch 24/7.
“I know you didn’t…share his feelings, Darcey. I know Len was trying to blackmail you into being with him. I just wanted you to know that he won’t be around to cause either of you any trouble anymore.”
“Edith…”
“Good luck to you and Noah.” Then she disconnected.
She was halfway home before it finally sunk in.
And when it did, a smile spread across Darcey’s face—the first smile she managed in a very long time.
Her and Noah were finally free of that bastard.
~ * ~
Joe sat across from Hugh. The bar was a dump. He hadn’t expected anything less from their dear old dad.
“You think he’ll show?” Hugh said, glancing at the entrance.
“He’ll show. He’s been ringing my phone off the hook for weeks. He wants this meet. Otherwise, he would’ve stayed in whatever hole he’s been hiding.”
The door opened and an older, smaller looking version of their father walked in. Hugh straightened across from him at the same time as Joe’s spine went ramrod straight. Yeah, he looked older, but he also looked….
“Seems to be doing alright for himself,” Hugh muttered.
Joe’s thoughts exactly. He wasn’t living rough, that much was clear. Joe and Hugh had convinced themselves he wanted their help, more money. Now Joe wasn’t so sure. “Yeah.”
Their father spotted them, and with his features held carefully blank, made his way across the bar toward them. No one spoke when he reached their table. They just stared at each other.
A multitude of emotions slammed Joe, but anger was the one that shouted the loudest—the one that came though when he finally spoke. “What do you want?”
“Joe…” he started.
Joe shook his head. “I assume you heard about Al. No other way you’d show your face back here.”
“I heard.”
“Figures.”
A flash of emotion twisted his weathered features. “I know this probably seems—”
“Fucked up?” Joe finished for him.
He took a deep breath, releasing it on a shaky exhale. “Can I sit down?”
Hugh hadn’t spoken yet, and Joe knew he was trying to keep his shit together. His brother had taken the biggest hit when their father had fucked up and fucked off.
But Hugh kept his cool. It took a lot to make him flip out, but when he did, he didn’t do it by halves. The pulverized junker behind the garage was testament to that.
Joe jerked his head toward the spare seat beside him. “We agreed to meet you, so that’s probably a good idea.”
Their father sat, his gaze sliding to Hugh. “Son…”
“Don’t,” Hugh rumbled. “You lost the right to call me that a long fucking time ago.”
“Right.” He rested his hands on the table, held in loose fists in front of him. Their father looked pale now, jittery. “I know I screwed up…”
“Understatement of the century,” Joe fired at him. “You didn’t screw up, old man. You nearly destroyed your family. Do you even know how your leaving affected mom?”
“I know… I…”
“A fucking coward is what you are. A spineless, worthless piece of shit.” Joe went to stand. “I’ve changed my mind. I can’t do this. I can’t listen to this bullshit.”
Hugh’s hand gripped his wrist, halting him. He didn’t say anything but communicated his feelings with a look. Don’t make this easy on him. He owes us this.
Fuck. Joe forced himself to sit back down. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”
“I know I failed you, all of you, in every way a husband and a father could. There’s nothing I can say to fix it or make it better.”
Joe had to bite his tongue not to say anything, and going by Hugh’s expression, he was struggling just as hard.
“The reason I’m here… I’d… like to try and make amends, to maybe take some of the burden I left you with back.” He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled something out, putting one in front of each of them. Checks—with lots of zeros. “I finally struck it big.”
He smiled like he expected the pair of them to pat him on the back or some shit. When neither of them jumped up and fist-pumped his big win, the smile dropped.
“Right, well. I want you to have that. I’ve already done the same for your mom.”
“You spoke to her?” Hugh growled.
He quickly shook his head. “No, I went through a lawyer. I didn’t think she’d want to see me.”
“You’re right there.”
Joe shoved it across the table. “I don’t want your guilt money.”
“Please, son…”
Joe narrowed his eyes at the fucker.
“Joe,” his father corrected. “Take it. Please let me do this for you.”
Joe opened his mouth to tell him to shove it when Hugh cut in. “Take it.”
“What?”
“He’s right. He owes us. This is the least he can do.” Then Hugh turned to their father. “These gonna clear?”
“Yes.”
Hugh nodded. “That all you wanted?”
He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead, he dipped his chin and rose to his feet. “It was good to see you both.” He ran a shaky hand though his hair. “You’ve turned out real good.”
When neither one said anything to that, he finally walked away.
“Here, have it.” Joe tried to slide the check to Hugh. “I don’t fucking want it.”
Hugh’s expression went hard. “It’s yours.” He sat back in his seat. “We fucking earned it. Don’t know about you, but I plan on kids one day. I’m taking this for them, for their future.” His Adam’s apple slid up and down his thick neck, emotions darkening his gaze. “Put it in the bank, forget about it if it makes you feel better. But don’t let him off the hook.” His expression was fierce. “Take it.”
Joe shoved it in his pocket. “Fine. Whatever. Let’s just get the fuck out of here.”
As they headed out, he had the urge to call Darcey to tell her what had happened.
To go to her so he could hold her in his arms, drown in her scent, let her soothe away the rough edges this meeting with his father had left.
“Come home and have a beer with me? Shay’s making burgers.”
“Sure. Sounds good.”
Not like he had anywhere else to be.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Joe stood in the small bathroom and looked around. Yeah, it was dated like the whole house and would need remodeling, but it was definitely livable.
The house was sturdy. Had three decent sized bedrooms, a large kitchen, and a backyard big enough to toss a ball around. It was also only four blocks from Hugh and Shay’s house, so that meant there was someone close by in case of an emergency. He liked that idea. A lot. In fact, besides the backyard, that was one of its biggest selling points.
He hadn’t intended on using his old man’s guilt money…until he’d seen the newspaper a couple weeks ago. There’d been a front page write up on Len and the infamous Ramirez family’s takedown. Len was in prison, awaiting trial for a whole slew of charges, things that would have him locked away for a long time. By the sounds of it, they’d had someone on the inside feeding the cops intel and there was no way the guy was weaseling his way out of this.
Joe was fucking free.
The operation had completely crumbled with Len at the helm, and there was no one left. No one to enforce his debt. He was still struggling to believe it. Had waited after his last deadline came and went, looking over his damn shoulder, exp
ecting one of Len’s henchmen to pay him a visit…but it had never happened.
It was over.
He’d been tempted to drive straight to Darcey—but then he’d gotten an idea, and it was a pretty fucking magnificent one, as far as he was concerned.
Glancing down at the ugly as all hell, green, seventies-style toilet, he frowned. “That’ll need replacing.”
Swinging the sledgehammer gripped in his hands, he let it fly, smashing in the side of the bowl. Oops. Good thing he’d already bought a new one, now he just needed someone to install it.
He turned to Shay, who was giggling like a crazy person beside him. “Looks like I need a plumber.”
She dropped her hands covering her mouth. “Oh my God. I can’t believe you just did that.”
“You’re up.” He handed his future sister in-law a piece of paper with Darcey’s work number on it. “No pressure, but if you screw this up, my entire future will be destroyed and my life won’t be worth living.”
Her eyes widened. “Stop it, Joe.” She jabbed him in the bicep. “I’m nervous enough as it is. You know I’m a terrible actress. I suck at this kind of thing.”
“You do. This is true.” Shay was about as subtle as the sledgehammer still gripped tight against his clammy palm. “Even so, you managed to fool my thick-headed brother for a while there. You really had him convinced you only wanted him for his giant, Sasquatch-sized body and not the soft, squishy center that makes me and Adam want to puke whenever you’re together.”
She snorted. “You’ve got a pretty squishy center of your own there, buddy. You just broke a toilet to get back the woman you love.”
“Yeah, but that was manly,” Adam cut in from the position he’d just taken leaning against the doorframe. “He got to smash shit up.”
“Hugh’s manly,” Shay fired back.
“He’s whipped.”
She planted her hands on her hips. “He is not whipped.”
“He so is. You’ve turned him into a cupcake.”
She frowned. “What does that even mean?”
Spin (Boosted Hearts Book 2) Page 23