by Maggie Ryan
"Well, not good in that I enjoy it, of course, but good in that I finally feel that Papa meant what he said. If I don't change my attitude, if I don't stop being snooty and ugly to others, he said our wedding will be postponed indefinitely. Oh, Alexandria, I don't want to wait. I love him so much, but I'm scared he will set me aside."
"Shhh," Alexandria said softly, though no one was coming down the hall. "I'll help… we'll all help. We'll show your Papa that you've changed. I promise, the others will understand once you tell them how scared you've been. Nanette, you don't have to do this alone anymore. No more pretending, just be you—that's who your Papa fell in love with, and that's who I want to be my friend."
Hearing footsteps, they both turned forward again. Juliette unhooked their clothing and allowed them to pull up their drawers. If she was surprised to see the two throw their arms around each other and exchange a hug, she didn't show it.
After luncheon, eaten without the benefit of her comfort cushion Alexandria followed the girls to their next class. Some of the girls were at easels, using watercolors to try to replicate the bowl and pitcher set on a pedestal. A few were working with oils, their talent obvious by looking at the various canvases. Claudia and Jayne were working on their tapestries, and Penny had her sewing basket open, the drawing completed for Alexandria's cushion. Seeing Nanette standing, holding her sewing basket, Alexandria took her free hand and led her towards the others. Ignoring their startled looks, she pulled Nanette down beside her after taking a seat next to Penny.
"Nanette needs our help and I've promised we'll give it," she said without preamble. "We've all come from different backgrounds, but we all share the same future. It doesn't matter that some come from homes that could easily house ten of mine. It doesn't matter that some have had the opportunity to attend either boarding school or some fancy finishing school. The only thing that matters is that we are all sisters, we all have chosen to learn how to… please our Papas with obedience and submission." Pausing, she looked around the circle, her hand still holding Nanette's. "I'm lucky in that my Papa wed me before bringing me here, but I'm not yet truly his." Taking a deep breath, she continued. "I have to convince my Papa that I truly wish to be both his little one and his wife. Until then, he won't consummate our marriage."
Hearing the others gasp, she felt her face heat but was determined to be honest and to make them understand. "That is for me to do, and I'll work until he is convinced that I've loved him for far longer than he will believe. For now, it's our duty as sisters to help Nanette convince Judge Deardon that she has changed."
Nanette squeezed her hand and then spoke quietly about how she'd felt so scared to be among girls of high society. She confessed her fear of their discovery that she'd grown up in a small home with several siblings, had attended school for only a few years before having to help in her father's store. She described how she'd run after her father one day when he'd forgotten some papers that needed to be filed at the courthouse. Not paying attention to what was expected as proper decorum, she'd burst into the Judge's chambers and begun to belittle her father for making her run after him.
She shook her head. "It really was quite awful. My father didn't even hesitate before grabbing my arm and popping my backside. He told me to apologize for being so rude to the judge and that he'd give me a proper thrashing when he got home. Oh, Lord, I was so embarrassed, and yet when Jacob came to the store a few days later, I-I thought perhaps it was fate had made my father forget those papers. We were engaged a short time later but now… now I'm terrified he's going to change his mind."
As she'd been speaking, the others had nodded, occasionally reaching out to pat her arm. When she was done, Alexandria smiled.
"So, we're a team? We start with a fresh slate?" A soft giggle escaped as she shook her head. "Well, mine isn't quite so fresh, but you know what I mean. Forgiveness given and past hurts forgotten. Deal?" She didn't truly relax until every girl nodded, hugs were given and promises of help were heard. It was a great feeling to see her friends accept Nanette, and the five settled down to their fancy work, their talk quiet but shared.
It was hard to do, but before dinner, it was necessary for Alexandria to find her nanny. Juliette didn't say a thing as she led her to the water-closet, instructing her to bend over, her hands on a stool as the plug was worked from her bottom. A few tears, several whimpers and a sharp cry were given before the plug popped free. Her nanny helped her onto the potty chair before she cleaned the plug. Reinsertion was not as difficult as Alexandria had feared, though it still had her closing her eyes and her entire body heating.
"You did very well, little one," Juliette said. "Tomorrow we'll move you up a size."
Though her stomach flipped, Alexandria nodded. "Yes, Ma'am." She'd made a promise to herself that she would do nothing to jeopardize her Papa's belief that she wanted to be his in every way. Not all of her lessons would be easy, but she knew deep inside that she could and would learn every single one.
*****
The next few days passed quickly as classes were taken and lessons learned. Having already been taught by her Papa how to present, and having received another lesson from Miss Summers, Alexandria had managed not to show her embarrassment quite as much in class when it was her turn to demonstrate the proper position. Of course, having to do so bent over nothing, her palms flat on the floor, had her wondering if she'd ever be able to maintain the position once a paddle or worse met her backside.
Nanette did indeed receive a paddling every day, but never complained. The girls commiserated with her but were pleased to hear her accept the all the blame. She gradually relaxed in the presence of her sisters, sharing stories of her youth. She had six siblings, which still seemed to flabbergast Janey.
"Good Lord, I have but one older brother, and he made it his duty to tease or embarrass me. If I hadn't been away at school most of the year, I'm quite sure one of us would not have reached adulthood."
Nanette learned that Claudia had left a life of affluence in order to come to the school. "I've known for a long time that I wish to be with a strong man. One who loves me, but also one who can guide me." She'd gone on to state that she found pleasure in her submission, far more than she'd even realized she would.
Alexandria shared the sad story of her father's death in the war, her mother's illness taking her only a few months later. She was reluctant to discuss the orphanage or the time spent at the Muellers, stating only that if she had not been in the courtroom that day, she might not have met her Papa for a much longer time.
After dinner on Friday, the girls retired to the library. "Are you okay?" Nanette asked. "You seem so far away."
"I'm fine, just tired," Alexandria confessed. "I-I haven't been sleeping well."
"Perhaps you'll be better tomorrow. We have no classes on Saturday. You can rest."
The five girls played a game of Jackstraws until Claudia, Janey and Nanette were escorted to bed, each having been given an earlier bedtime for the week as additional reminders that only well-behaved little ones had the privilege of staying up later.
"Alexandria, what has you so melancholy?" Penny asked, as she gathered up the sticks to put them away. "And don't tell me you're tired, either. Being tired does not make someone look so inordinately sad." When no response was given to her question, she stood and moved to Alexandria's chair, bending to give her a hug. "Just know that I'm here if you need to talk."
Penny moved away to spend the next hour working on another pillow she was making for her home. This one was filled with more flowers and vines, and would decorate some chair in the back parlor.
Alexandria sat at the table for a moment and then made her decision. Moving to the settee, she took a seat. "I want to go to my own home. I mean, my Papa's home. How long must I stay until he knows that all I wish is to be with him? Why does he not want me there?"
Penny finished her stitch before lifting her head. "Have you told him you love him? Does he know that you wish to be his in all
ways?"
"Of course! I understand he was giving me time, that he wanted me to see what it means to be someone he can care for as a much younger woman, but Penny, I want to be a grown woman as well. I-I want to be in his bed. I lie in my bed every night, with his training items inside me, and all can I think about is having him in me." Realizing exactly what she'd just shared, she blushed scarlet. Expecting her friend to be scandalized, she was surprised to hear Penny's soft giggle.
"I'm just Penny in this school. I am also Lady Penelope Emerson, and live at 24 Haverford Street."
"Um, okay…"
"I'm telling you because I wish to remain friends and you'll need to ask your Papa if you might visit."
"I'm not sure I understand," Alexandria said.
Penny took her hand. "I'm saying that if you tell your Papa exactly what you just told me, I believe your school days might be over."
Alexandria felt hope for the first time in days. "Thank you, Penny. I'll tell him on Sunday." She gave her friend a hug. "And, no matter what happens, I hope we'll always be friends." Her steps were much lighter when her nanny came to take her to bed. It was still embarrassing, and still painful, as her final training plug was placed into her, but she didn't earn herself a spanking.
"I'm proud of you, Alexandria," Juliette said as she tucked the sheets under her chin. "You've done exceptionally well this week. Your Papa is going to be very proud."
"Thank you, Nanny Jenkins," Alexandria said, opening her mouth for the dummy's bulb and then bowing her head so the ribbon could be tied. She lifted her arms so the cuffs could be placed around her wrists. The ankle cuffs had not been used since that first night, but she'd learned that her hands would be restrained until further notice. It was quite obvious that, although her Papa had not said a word when learning that she had touched her quim, he was ensuring there would be no repeat of that naughtiness.
"Good night, little one. Sweet dreams."
Alexandria could only nod as her nanny extinguished the lamp and left the room. Though her bottom-hole still felt a burn and she felt fuller than ever before, she felt her quim grow moist as she thought about her Papa. Praying that Penny's words were an accurate foretelling of her future, she turned onto her side and fell into sleep far more quickly than on the previous nights.
Chapter Twenty
"Come on, sleepyhead, you don't want to sleep the day away."
Alexandria opened her eyes to find Nanny Jenkins smiling down at her even as she undid the cuffs around her wrists. The dummy's ribbon was undone and the bulb removed from her mouth.
"Is it late?" Alexandria asked, as she pushed aside the bedcovers and sat up, her feet dangling over the edge of the bed.
"No, but I thought you might not want to wait."
Alexandria was puzzled at the statement, but the smile on her Nanny's face had her smiling as well.
"Wait for what, Nanny Jenkins?"
"To open your Papa's present, little one." She motioned towards the end of the bed where a box sat, tied with a blue ribbon. "Of course, if you'd rather sleep a bit longer…"
There was no need to finish her statement, her laugh taking place of further words. Alexandria practically fell off the bed in her haste to turn, only her nanny's arm keeping her from tumbling to the floor. "Easy, Alexandria, there is no need to pounce on the box like a tiger. I'll bring it to you."
Juliette helped her climb safely down and led her to the ottoman, guiding her to sit. Alexandria bounced in her excitement until the large plug in her bottom had her regretting that choice. The moment her nanny placed the box in her lap, she plucked at the bow. Remembering her manners, she looked up. "May I open it now?"
Juliette tucked a strand of hair that had escaped from its braid behind Alexandria's ear. "Yes, you may." She stepped back to allow Alexandria to open her gift in relative privacy, and moved to make the bed.
Alexandria untied the ribbon and set it aside. She couldn't imagine what she'd find, her hands hesitating as she recalled that the last box she'd seen opened had contained the items for her training. This box was larger than that had been, and her stomach fluttered. Feeling her cheeks flush, she realized that even the thought of additional training items was only causing her heart to beat a bit faster and her sex to tingle. Whatever the box held, it was a gift from her Papa. Taking a deep breath, she pulled off the lid. Inside was an envelope addressed to her, as well as something still hidden by layers of tissue. This was her first letter from her Papa, and her fingers trembled as she opened it.
My dearest Lexie,
I have missed you every moment of every day. You are the light of my life and I am very proud to be your Papa. The dedication you have shown in your lessons has exceeded my expectations. You make a precious little one that I will forever strive to care for, to love, to guide. Today, it is my wish to have you by my side as my wife. I pray this is your wish as well. It is up to you, Alexandria, how you wish to proceed, to know if you are yet ready to take on your second role. Do not fear, for either choice is fine. Let your heart guide you, but know that if you are not yet ready, I will wait however long is necessary—for my love is eternal. Whatever your decision, I do wish to spend the rest of the day with you. When you are dressed in your choice, I will be downstairs.
Your doting Papa and loving husband, Max.
She read the note twice more, her bottom lip caught in her teeth as she pondered his words. The knowledge that he was proud of her made her happy, but the references to his love filled her heart and her soul. Glancing across the room, she saw the bundle of letters on her table, ones she had read countless times. Sliding the paper back into its envelope, she traced the lettering of her name before setting it aside.
Gently pushing aside the layers of tissue, she pulled the item from its nest. It was a dress, the most beautiful dress she'd ever seen. The deep, navy blue color reminded her of the sky as the sun left the horizon. Her fingers stroked down the velvet and fingered the delicate white lace at the cuffs and neckline. As it continued to unfold, she realized it was not a dress that a child would wear, its length far longer than the dresses she'd become accustomed to wearing. Tiny buttons marched up the back from the waist to the neckline, not a bow in sight. It was a woman's dress.
Her smile was that of a woman who understood her wish was being granted. If she wore this dress, her Papa—no, her husband, would understand that she was ready to be his in all ways. Her heart skipping a beat, she looked up to see her nanny looking across the room to her.
"Will you help me dress, Nanny Jenkins?"
"It will be my pleasure, Alexandria."
The box contained more than the dress. A pair of silky drawers, with lace on the cuffs as well as rows of ruffled lace on the back, had her blushing as she stepped into them. Soft petticoats followed, and white stockings were tied high on her thighs. Pretty velvet blue shoes were placed onto her feet. Her hair was undone and brushed until it fell in a coppery wave down her back, a simple blue ribbon holding it off her face. Juliette led her to the mirror and once again, Alexandria couldn't believe the reflection was one of herself. The woman before her had flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. It was the image of a woman who felt loved, one who was anxious to be held in the arms of the one man she wanted to be possessed by in every way for the rest of her life.
"Ready?" Juliette asked, handing her the last item from the box. It was a velvet drawstring purse.
Alexandria took it and walked to her table, opening the bag and placing her letters inside. Turning, she gave her answer. "Yes, I'm ready."
*****
Max paced the floor of the foyer as he waited. His heart was thumping in his chest. He'd stopped by every evening after the girls were all in bed, and Juliette and Eleanor had met with him, discussing Lexie and her response to her training. It had been those meetings that had him deciding that he must give her this opportunity, an opportunity he prayed she would accept.
What would her decision be? Was she ready to take the final step? Had j
ust a few days of training been enough to let her decide if this was the life she wished to live? The letter had been written in truth—no matter how long it took, no matter if it became months, he would wait. Rarely had he been so nervous, so unsure of his future. Every part of him wished to be hers. Only her decision would decide his path. The only choice that would break him completely was if she decided to take the avenue his decision to wait to consummate their marriage had given her: he'd only break if she chose to have their marriage annulled.
Closing his eyes, he sent another prayer heavenward, asking God to allow him the blessing of this woman. He thought of the past year, the awful events that had led him to this place, the sacrifice made by a man he would always remember. "Alexander and Madeline, I wish you were here, but I know you are together again. I pray that you are looking down right now and know that I love your daughter with all my heart. I swear I will never harm her—that even if it breaks me, I will set her free if that is her wish. But, I beg of you both, let her see how much she means to me, let her know that she's the other half of my soul."
"Papa?"
His eyes opened to find a vision before him, and he saw her choice. Almost certain he could see her parents standing behind her, he opened his arms and the woman he loved flew into them.
"Alexandria, oh, sweetheart, you—"
"I am yours, Papa. I've always been yours."
Her words settled in his heart as he bent to kiss her. The love he felt would take more than a lifetime to share. Their kiss deepened, his hand holding her to him, his fingers wrapped in her hair, her small body pressed tightly against his frame. Only the need to breathe had him releasing her, his smile soft as she, too, gasped for breath.
"I love you." Their words were declared at the exact same moment, both smiling as their lips met again. It was giggles that broke them apart the second time. Keeping her in his arms, he looked around to see several girls watching, all smiling brightly.