Shaking these erotic thoughts off, I press my cheek on his chest as he dips me in the warm water. I stifle a moan and close my eyes. The warm water feels like heaven. Kai withdraws his hands slowly from underneath me but doesn’t move away. Warm, wet fingers graze my cheeks. And his breath hitting my face leaves the water trail feeling cold, tickly. He exhales and widens the space between us.
I release a heavy sigh and open my eyes to look at him. Kai’s lighter gray eyes are now a darker gray—I remember this look. I have seen it so many times just before he kisses me or before he makes love to me.
We stare at each other a moment longer.
Kai presses his lips together. “I’ll be outside. Call when you finish.” His voice cracks with that last line, and he breaks our gaze. He turns around and shuts the door behind him.
I stay in the same position for some minutes. Still feeling the warmth of his fingers on my breasts, the cold water trail on my cheeks and the rhythm of my heart he’s responsible for.
•••
I hesitate before calling Kai, but I don’t have the strength to lift myself up and hold on to the bars yet, so I’ll need his help if I don’t want to end up licking the floor.
“Kai …”
My voice is barely audible, but a few seconds later, he walks into the bathroom. His footsteps near me, but I don’t lift my eyes to look at him. I make a conscious effort to breathe in and out normally. Without a word, he lifts me from the tub and makes me sit on the edge while he wraps a towel around me.
“Come, let’s get you dry.”
He gathers me in his arms, his warmth soothes around my skin as he carries me. While I breathe the familiar smell of his neck, my eyes caress his features all the way to the bedroom. Once there, he places me on the bed and goes to fetch another towel.
“Madison said that you haven’t had lunch yet,” Kai says as he rummages through my things, and my stomach growls. His lips curve. “Hungry?”
Lightly biting my lip to cover an embarrassing smile, I nod. I take the towel from him and begin drying my hair. He grabs my ankle, the warmth of his hand spreads over my cold skin. He locks his eyes with mine and slides my panties slowly up my legs. My lungs can no longer retain the air stuck there, and I exhale slowly. To get the panties up my hips, he leans closer and wraps his arms around my waist. Our heads touch, and we stare at each other for a moment. The proximity makes his breath graze my cheek, and I gulp, letting the towel fall. He lifts my body, and I pull my panties up in a daze. Once covered, he places me back on the bed and lets go of my waist. I let out a slow breath, relishing what just happened. Meanwhile, Kai avoids my eyes as he grabs my bra and a loose T-shirt. He drops them in my hands before turning around. Getting my senses under control once again, I quickly discard the towel, hook the bra in place, and slip the T-shirt on.
“Done,” I say, and Kai turns to face me. He helps me pull on my sweatpants, and this time, I make a physical effort to breathe in and out steadily.
“Do you have a hair-dryer?” he asks.
“Maddie has one.”
“Okay.”
He leaves the room only to come back some minutes later, carrying Madison’s hair-dryer and a hairbrush. He takes his place behind me and presses my back to his chest and switches on the hair-dryer.
“Let me know if it’s too hot,” Kai says brushing and drying my hair. I press my lips together to stop a smile. He is careful so as not to break any hair. Whenever my hair tangles, he switches off the hair-dryer and untangles the hair. He’s being really sweet. I close my eyes and enjoy the attention he’s giving me.
“I’m not getting angry,” I tell him.
Kai brushes my hair to the side. “Should you be getting angry?”
I shrug. “Dad helped me with the spoon, and I hurled a j-jar at him.” The tips of my ears heat thinking about my action.
“You were having a bad day, Phoenix.”
True. I was having a bad day, but I think Kai is right. Because I’m in a wheelchair, I thought my dads were helping me because of my disability. I was taking it for pity, not love. Now I know they feel like they need to help me because it’s what they’ve always been doing.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” Kai asks, running his fingers through my scalp.
My eyes roll back, and I moan. “For everything …”
He hums.
The door opens, and my dads come in.
CHAPTER 27
PHOENIX
“Hey,” Dad says, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Kai switches off the hair-dryer and smoothes my hair. I peek up, but my eyes begin to water as soon as I spot the bandage on Dad’s head.
“I’m so sorry,” I snivel.
“Honey, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Dad says, tucking my hair behind my ear but it falls back, partly hiding my face.
My stomach drops at his quick forgiveness because I know I don’t deserve it. “I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Dad leans forward and gathers me in a hug.
I hold myself still. Everything will be fine, that’s what Dad’s hugs always feel like, and today is no different. “Sweetie, I’m sorry that you’re going through all of this. But please let us help you.” He separates our body and tips my chin to meet his eyes. “I know you don’t want us doing it all for you, and we promise that we won’t, but let us help with some at least.”
Kai runs his hand on my waist, reminding me of what he said earlier. I nod because, as Kai said, this is something that they’ve always done—it’s their way of showing their love.
“Great,” Daddy says, placing a plate of food on the nightstand and leaning to kiss my forehead.
Madison enters the room and joins us on the bed. “Are you hurt?”
“No.”
Daddy places his hand on my arm. “You know we love you, right?”
“I know,” I whisper.
Dad smiles. “I want you to know that you can talk to us about anything—without hesitation. You’re our daughter, and I want that same openness we had before.”
I nod, returning his smile.
Daddy’s eyes gleam with mischief. “Yeah, like the one time we gave you a box of condoms because we knew you people were having sex.”
My eyes widen, and I stifle a gasp. Dad and Daddy are the most awkward and cool parents that I could ask for. After assuming that Kai and I were having sex, they came into my room with a box of condoms. Each time I remember my dads’ faces when they came into my room, my belly aches with laughter.
Dad winks. “Yeah, and they finished it in one week.”
Kai stiffens behind me. “One week? When?”
Oh-oh!
Daddy frowns. “You don’t know?”
I feel Kai vigorously shake his head, and everyone turns to stare at me. My cheeks catch fire as I mutter, “I was practicing.”
“Practicing what?” Madison asks with a frown.
I huff. “I was practicing how to roll on a condom.” I practiced on some, blew some into condom balloons and drew animal faces on them—that was fun—and gave the rest to Madison—sisterly love. We share everything. Well, not everything …
Dad looks at me like I just grew another head. “What?”
“Wait.” Kai grabs my elbows. “What exactly did you practice on?”
And once again I squirm as all the eyes in the room turn to me. My neck feels hot as I lift my three middle fingers up in response.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t see this bit,” Dad says, looking everywhere but at my fingers.
Madison coughs and clears her throat in an exaggerated manner. “Goodness, I’m glad it’s three fingers for your sake.”
“Maddie,” I reprimand, wrapping my hands around my midriff and blushing all kinds of red.
“Have your lunch,” Dad says, rising from the bed.
“Have you eaten?” I ask, and as expected, they all shake their head no, so I suggest that we all eat together in the dining room.
Lunch goes well—without me hurling things at people. Kai stays until dinner, and once supper is over, I head to my room, and Madison follows me. “So, you okay with Kai sleeping over?”
I sigh. “I guess …” Our dads asked Kai to crash here because, according to them, it was too late to drive home, but maybe that wasn’t the reason. Maybe they asked him to stay in case I have another breakdown during the night. I’m not sure. I don’t know how to react to him spending the night, but this is the first time it feels different.
“So, will you need another bath today? Because someone with lots of muscles and lots of willingness to help you bathe is in the house tonight, you know?”
I roll my eyes back and groan. Of course, Madison knows that Kai helped me in the bathroom today. “No, thank you. I can manage just fine.” I try to wheel my chair, but she lays a hand on the armrest and stops it.
“You sure? I'm willing to bet my left ass cheek that someone will not mind a repeat telecast.”
She cracks me up with this one. “Asshole.”
“Mine’s right here,” Madison says, walking to the dresser and pointing at her butthole.
I miss our banter so much, and somewhere between this afternoon and right now, I start feeling like me—again—it’s the best feeling. “I’m glad it’s there, asshole.” I laugh and hurl a pillow at her.
The pillow hits her head, and she narrows her eyes at me in the mirror. “You asked for it, missy.”
She picks the pillow up from the floor and hurls it at me. I duck, but the pillow hits the back of my head. I remove my glasses and aim them at the table. She moves away from the target line as I aim another pillow at her, but the door opens, and the pillow hits Kai on the face instead.
“Shit.”
Madison cracks up. She runs to the bed, picks up a pillow, and throws it at Kai. The latter grabs the two pillows on the floor and advance us on the bed. He smacks one on Madison’s face and slaps me with the other then jumps on the bed joining us.
“Assholes!” Madison lets out a battle cry and launches another pillow at Kai and one at me.
The pillow slightly touches my open eyes, and I whimper, rubbing my eyes to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. I look up to see Kai’s gaze on me. He maintains eye contact for a few seconds to see whether I’m hurt, and in this small second, I feel content. My gaze lands on some of the hair falling over his eyes, and an insane urge to brush the hair away from his eyes hits me.
I want to do that.
Kai raises his eyebrow in question. I just shake my head and send a pillow flying his way. We keep hitting each other with the pillows, and I like how they both remain on the bed because they know it won’t be fair if they’re running around.
Later that night, Kai helps me into the bed. “Is this okay?” he asks, tucking the sheets around me.
I nod and give him a small smile. This is not how I’d usually sleep. Before the accident, I’d sleep on my side, but with less strength in my body now, I can’t do that. Instead, I lie on my back with my arms folded. “I’m fine,” I whisper, smoothing the sheets on my stomach.
His hand goes to his hair, and he runs his fingers through it, messing it up. “I’ll be in Madison’s room,” he reminds me, and I nod again. Since Madison is in the restroom carrying out her night skin care routine, we’re both alone again, and I can’t help but think about what happened between us this afternoon. Or more precisely, I can’t stop thinking about the longing on his face when he saw me naked. This makes desire build up inside me—maybe everything’s not lost after all.
With his gaze still on me, he takes a step back. He tugs on his earlobe and exhales. Clearing his throat, he walks toward me again, pausing near the bed. My throat goes dry. I blink not knowing how I’ll react if he leans down and kisses me. I’m scared to find out. And this shocks me. It’s not even been two weeks since I suggested that Kai and I remain just friends, then why am I suddenly thinking of him kissing me? Why am I even anticipating it?
Kai mumbles something beneath his breath and leans down, his face serious. I gulp. He swipes the messy hair off my forehead and drops a kiss there. My eyes close, absorbing the feeling of his lips on me. I know this kiss—I’ve felt it before, with the same amount of sweetness.
When he pulls away, his eyes are shiny. “Good night,” he wishes and leaves the room. My heart sighs as I go to sleep thinking about what a day it has been—a day that was enough to bring me back to where I was two years ago.
KAI
After tossing in Madison’s bed for two hours, I throw the sheets away and get out.
I need Phoenix in my arms.
Tiptoeing on light steps, I reach Phoenix’s room. A nostalgic feeling twirls inside me. It’s like reliving the moment when I used to climb the tree to her room at night. Damn! Maybe she won’t like me sleeping next to her—but I’m already here, so I can only hope that this is the right choice.
I open the door and try to adjust my eyes to the darkness. The moonlight illuminates the room revealing Madison’s and Phoenix’s silhouettes on the bed. She’s lying on her back with her hands neatly folded on her stomach. I hate this position because this is not how she usually sleeps—or used to sleep.
I walk toward Madison and shake her up. She yelps as her body jolts up and she slaps a hand over her chest. Her wide eyes look at me. “Kai, what the hell?” she hisses.
“You’re in my place, get the hell out of here,” I admonish, already pulling her from the bed.
“Asshole.” Madison rubs her eyes but walks out of the room and pulls the door behind her.
I ease down next to Phoenix and get under the sheets. I just want the woman I love to sleep in my arms tonight. Seeing Phoenix rocking on the floor this afternoon punched my guts. I was terrified. I never want to see her like this again.
My fingers touch her cheek. So soft. I trail lower until I reach her parted lips, lingering there for a moment. Phoenix inhales deeply. I look up to find her staring at me.
“Hey,” I breathe.
“Hey ...”
I wait for her to panic. Expect her to ask what I’m doing here or to ask me to leave. But she doesn’t. Instead, she keeps her eyes on me, making me aware that she hasn’t moved her lips away from my thumb, and this lights up tiny sparks of excitement in me.
“Phoenix … I’m going to try something. Stop me if you feel uncomfortable, okay?”
She stares at me for a few seconds and then nods, her brows knitting together.
Heat settles behind my ears. Don’t stop me, Phoenix. Treading on a path of doubt with determination, I touch her waist and look up to find that Phoenix has squeezed her eyes shut. Okay, maybe we’re not doing that great, but at least she’s not stopping me. Before she changes her mind, I slowly turn her so that she’s lying on her side, facing me, and pause to see whether she says anything. But her eyes remain closed, and her jaws clamped shut. Refusing to back out now, I adjust some pillows behind her back so that she has something to lean on. Turning her legs so that she’s fully turned toward me, I slip one arm under her pillow and the other one around her waist, bringing her closer to me, and release a contented breath.
Phoenix’s fingers clutch my T-shirt, and she adjusts her head under my chin but doesn’t say anything. I close my eyes and relax, savoring this moment.
After a few moments in this position, I feel confident. I know I’m treading on dangerous waters here, but I want to take things a little further. Just a little. “Phoenix?”
“Hmm.”
“I want to touch you,” I whisper and feel her inhale sharply. “If you want me to stop, just say the word.” Breathing slowly, I wait for her response, but she just tightens her grip on my T-shirt. My fingers slowly venture beneath her T-shirt, lightly grazing the skin, relishing the familiar warmth. Her chest heaves against mine until I touch her scar. A whimper breaks through her closed lips, and she stiffens in my arms. That sound twists my heart. I tighten my other arm around her and kiss the side of her head.<
br />
“Kai,” she breathes, and my name on her lips pulls life into me.
“Phoenix,” I whisper.
She lifts her head until she’s looking right into my eyes. The amount of pain I see lurking there squeezes my heart to an unbearable point.
Tell me, Phoenix, how to stop the pain, I ask silently. I kiss her nose softly, and she sighs deeply. My lips want to say, “I love you” but I swallow the words because this is not what she wants to hear right now.
“Do you want me to stop?” I ask, trailing kisses to her cheeks. She shakes her head, giving me hope, so I bring my hand to hers and thread our fingers. Looking into her eyes, I let her know that I’m here, no matter what. Neither of us speaks. We just breathe together, and I savor all the breaths we are sharing.
“I’ll leave if you want me to,” I whisper, dropping a kiss on her neck.
She sighs but shakes her head again, and I thank my stars. “I feel so bad about what happened today,” she confesses after a moment.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She tries to argue, but I stop her with a finger on her lips. “No, listen. You’re not the same as you were before. And we don’t expect you to be any different, Phoenix. You have me, you have Madison, Eric, and Adam, and we’re all here for you, love.”
Her lips tug to the sides. It’s a small smile but a smile, nonetheless.
“Great,” I say, pulling my finger from her lips and threading our fingers again. “You feel so good in my arms right now. I may never let go.”
She doesn’t say anything, and that’s okay. I’m glad she welcomed me in her bed tonight, and she let me hold her. Phoenix tightens her fingers around mine and closes her eyes. But mine stay open. For now, this is all I need.
My lips drop a last kiss on her collarbone, making her breath hitch in her throat. The racing of my pulse enjoyed the sound a little too much, and I do it one more time, but this time I move to her jawbone and kiss her below her ear on that sensitive spot. She bites her lips.
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