Chain Reactions

by Lynn Ames

  “Not necessary.” Nora averted her eyes. “I can only imagine what you must think of me now.”

  She measured her words. “I think you must have been a very courageous woman at a time when it wasn’t easy to be different.”

  “I wasn’t courageous. I simply told the truth. I’d learned long ago the cost of keeping secrets. That day I learned the cost of honesty. In the end, it turned out the price was the same.”

  What does she mean by that?

  “Maybe I will take that drink of water, after all.”

  “Of course.” Diana jumped up and refilled Nora’s water bottle. She looked somehow smaller and frailer.

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  They were like polite strangers. It was as if the revelations of a few hours ago had never happened.

  Diana chewed her lip. Should she ask? There might never be a better opportunity. “I do have one question. I asked you this before, but you didn’t really answer me.”

  Nora’s eyes flashed briefly. “I imagine there’s far more than one question I haven’t answered. But I think one more answer might be all I have the strength for.”

  Her brows knit together. She needed to phrase the question carefully. The last thing she wanted was to be confrontational, but she had to know… “Why didn’t you defy them?”

  “Who? Your parents and my brother?”

  She nodded. “I know you said they were my parents and my grandfather and it was their right to forbid you to see me, but…”

  “I tried many times to change their minds in letters and phone calls. Finally, when none of that made a difference, I confronted them in person.”

  “What happened?”

  “It was your eleventh birthday and they were having a party for you in the backyard. I showed up at the door with a present and demanded to see you. Your father blocked the doorway. I said I wasn’t leaving without talking to you.

  “Your grandfather came out to see what the commotion was. He grabbed me by the arm and led me to his car. He picked up a large, flat envelope off the passenger seat and waved it under my nose. He must’ve been expecting me to show up.

  “When my eyes focused on the envelope, I could see it was addressed to my employers. I could just imagine what was inside.” She cleared her throat and sipped the water. “Bill told me that if I ever tried to contact you again, even by smoke signal, he would send that package to my bosses.”

  Finally, Aunt Nora made eye contact with her. “It would’ve been the end of my career. All my hard work, my reputation, all that I could’ve done for the children, would’ve been wiped out in an instant. My brother knew that. He knew I’d never risk it. I couldn’t.” Her voice broke, and she held her head in her hands.

  Diana wrapped an arm around her shoulders and lifted her chin so they were eye-to-eye. “I’m so sorry.”

  “I’m the one who’s sorry, Diana. I wish I could’ve been stronger. I wish I’d stood up to him.”

  “I understand now why you didn’t. It’s okay.”

  Nora shook her head. “Nothing about this will ever be okay.”

  Listening to her gasp for air, Diana had to agree.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Brooke slid open the glass doors and listened. She hoped she’d been gone long enough to give Nora and Diana time to resolve Diana’s questions. She cocked her head to the side. The only sounds were the grandfather clock ticking off the seconds and Nora’s labored breathing. She moved farther into the cottage.

  Diana was standing at the window, lost in thought. She looked at once pensive and sad. Brooke came alongside her and placed a soothing hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

  Diana turned toward her. “I will be.”

  “Did you get the answers you needed?”

  “I got the truth.”

  Interesting phraseology. “I’m here for you if you want to talk. I’ve been told I’m an excellent sounding board.”

  “I can believe that.”

  Diana’s eyes were a vivid shade of green today. Belatedly, Brooke realized three things: her hand still rested on Diana’s shoulder, she was staring, and they were in the middle of an awkward silence.

  She dropped her hand to her side. “Does Nora need anything? How long has she been asleep?”

  “Which time?” Diana shoved her hands in her pockets. “She dropped off for about an hour after our conversation. This may sound crazy, but honestly, I think it took so much out of her emotionally that her physical body simply shut itself down for a while.”

  “That makes sense.”

  “She drank some water when she woke up, but she wasn’t interested in food.” Diana sighed. “I tried.”

  “I know.” She resisted the urge to touch Diana again. Another awkward silence ensued. Finally, she said, “I’m going to make an offer, and I hope you’ll take me up on it.”

  Diana took her hands out of her pockets and crossed her arms, effectively closing herself off. Brooke pushed ahead anyway.

  “You’re planning to be here every weekend, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s ridiculous for you to keep paying to stay at a bed and breakfast.”

  “Aunt Nora only has one spare bedroom—yours.”

  “I know. I was going to say, you’re more than welcome to stay at my place.” Diana stiffened, and Brooke rushed on. “I’ll be here with Nora, so it’s just unused space now. It makes perfect sense.”

  “Or I could give you a breather. You’re going to need days off. I’ll be here. I could stay with Aunt Nora and you can go back to your place for the weekend.”

  As tempting as the offer was, Brooke already had experienced Nora’s nights. That wasn’t a good option. “How about if we compromise? You stay at my place, we all can eat dinners together here, I’ll take the overnight shift, and you can spell me for a bit on Saturdays?”

  “Sold.”

  Diana stood back as Brooke strode through her place, flipping on light switches as she went. “There’s coffee in the cabinet, orange juice in the fridge, and granola in the pantry. What’s mine is yours, so make yourself at home. The bed is pretty comfy. If you want a softer pillow, there’s one in the linen closet. Extra blankets in there too.”

  “I’m sure whatever you’ve got will be fine.” Diana trailed behind. So far, she hadn’t noticed any personal touches. Then again, this was just a rental, so maybe Brooke’s things were in storage somewhere, or maybe she still owned a place in Boston. Diana made a mental note to ask later.

  In truth, she was starting to compile a rather long mental list of things she wanted to know about Brooke, starting with whether or not she was gay. Several times, she caught Brooke’s gaze lingering, and the frequent soothing touches hadn’t escaped her notice either. The latter Diana attributed to Brooke’s compassionate personality. Then there were the double entendres. They didn’t seem to be intentional, but what if they were a subconscious manifestation of her true feelings?

  Diana also had an equally lengthy list of things she didn’t want to examine too closely, like why her skin tingled whenever Brooke touched her, or why it mattered to her so much whether or not Brooke was gay. Brooke was here to do a job, and Diana would do well to remember and focus on that.

  “…over here.”

  She tuned back in. Brooke was looking at her quizzically. Clearly, she had missed something that required her input. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  Brooke stopped walking. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m babbling. I’d tune myself out too.”

  “I wasn’t…” She didn’t finish the sentence. I wasn’t tuning you out—quite the contrary. No, that was something she had no intention of admitting out loud.

  “Anyway,” Brooke said, “make yourself at home. I’ll just leave you to it.”

  “Thank you. This is incredibly generous.” She followed Brooke back to the front door.

  “Easy stuff. I hope you sleep
well.”

  “See you in the morning?”

  “You know where I’ll be.” Brooke waved as she got into her car.

  Alone in the house, Diana took her time wandering from room to room. Brooke’s spicy scent lingered in the air. She inhaled deeply. Not helpful. She grabbed her bag off the living room floor, carried it into the lone bedroom, and set it down on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed.

  She rummaged through the bag for her boxers and T-shirt, changed her clothes, snapped up her toilet kit, and got ready for bed.

  Brooke had changed the sheets, but that did nothing to stop Diana’s mind from wandering to places it had no business going. Sleep was sure to be a long time coming. She pulled the covers up to her chin and prayed that it eventually would take her.

  Nora lay awake staring at the ceiling, the past very much present in her thoughts. For years, she’d told herself that what happened back then could not be changed, and therefore didn’t bear thinking about. She’d done her best to watch out for Diana, keeping tabs on her from afar, easing her path from the safety of the shadows when possible, and resigning herself to the truth that this was the way it had to be.

  When she retired and the threat of exposure no longer held sway over her, she convinced herself that, as an adult now, if Diana wanted to find her, she would’ve done so. It wasn’t her place to reappear out of nowhere. She never suspected that by the time Diana reached true adulthood, she already believed Nora was dead. If she had known that…

  “So many regrets, old girl. It doesn’t do to dwell on it.” She shifted in an effort to ease the heaviness in her chest, but she knew the truth—the shortness of breath, the hoarseness, the rattle, the pain in her bones—the end was coming for her, and soon.

  The real question was what she could do in the time she had remaining that could heal the deep wounds Diana carried within. She understood why her great-niece avoided lasting, meaningful attachments. She’d been abandoned too many times—first by her, then by Robert and Edwina, and most recently by that Bethany person, who obviously wasn’t the right woman for her anyway.

  Her mind alit on Diana’s body language whenever the topic turned to Brooke. Nora might be old, but she still had eyes. She searched her memory. Had she ever seen Brooke with anyone? She was next to positive Brooke didn’t have a husband, nor did she wear anybody’s ring. Nora didn’t remember her ever talking about going steady with anyone.

  “You’re an old woman. You can get away with asking questions others never would dare to ask.” Tomorrow. Tomorrow Nora would probe Brooke on the subject.

  “Diana should be here any second.”

  “Mm-hmm.” Brooke finished off her bowl of yogurt and granola just as Nora’s toast popped up in the toaster.

  “Did I hear her say she would be staying at your place?”

  “I thought it made more sense for her to take advantage of my empty house instead of paying to stay at a bed and breakfast.”

  “That was very thoughtful of you.”

  Brooke shrugged. “It’s not like I’m there. She can have her privacy and a home-away-from-home.”

  “I’m sure she’d feel at home even if you were in it.”

  Her hand paused in the middle of buttering Nora’s toast. That was an odd thing to say. “I don’t know about that.”

  “She likes you. I can tell.”

  Brooke placed the plate in front of Nora. “I hope she thinks I’m doing a good job.”

  “I don’t mean that. I mean, I think she’s fond of you.”

  “She hardly knows me.”

  “You don’t need to know someone a long time to know how you feel about them.”

  She turned away and busied herself washing her bowl. Keep the conversation neutral. “Well, I think she’s very nice too.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  Something about Nora’s tone triggered alarm bells in her head. Where in the world was Nora going with this? If she didn’t know any better…

  “I don’t remember ever hearing you mention a husband or boyfriend, and I’m sure I would’ve recalled if you’d introduced me to one.”

  Oh, boy. She kept her back to Nora and wiped the already-cleaned counter a second time.

  “Is there a lucky fella in your life?”

  There it was. The saving grace was that the question required only a simple yes or no. “No.”

  The tea kettle whistled, and she poured the hot water over Nora’s tea bag and brought it to her.

  “Thank you, dear.” Nora patted the seat next to her. “Sit, please.”

  Reluctantly, she did as she was asked. Maybe she could redirect the attention away from herself and satisfy her own curiosity. “How about you? Were you married?” She kept her tone lighthearted.

  “Heavens no. Who would have me?”

  “Are you kidding me? You’re the great Dr. Nora Lindstrom. Not only that, but you were a real looker. I bet the guys were lined up around the block for you.”

  Nora shook her head. “Not so I ever noticed.”

  “Surely there must’ve been someone?”

  A shadow fell across Nora’s features. Just as quickly, it disappeared. “I just wasn’t the marrying kind, I guess.” She blew on her tea.

  Not the marrying kind…would that have been code for someone who was gay in Nora’s era? Could this be where Mary came in? She regarded Nora critically. She supposed it was possible…

  “So, if there isn’t a man, is there a woman?”

  “What?” Brooke was so shocked by the directness of the question, she was certain she must’ve misunderstood.

  “Are you gay?”

  She blinked. No, there was no misunderstanding. She’d never lied about her sexuality; she wasn’t about to start now. “Yes.”

  She searched Nora’s face. The revelation didn’t seem to offend her in any way. In fact, it appeared as if the news pleased her.

  “Do you have a girlfriend?”

  Brooke’s eyes opened wider. What had happened to reserved, polite Nora Lindstrom, and who was this woman sitting in her kitchen? “Not for a long time.”

  Mercifully, at that moment Diana appeared in the doorway. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” Brooke answered, perhaps a tad too eagerly. She jumped up. “We were just finishing breakfast. If it’s all right with you, I’ve got a few errands to run this morning. I should be back by mid-afternoon.”

  “No problem,” Diana said. “By the time you get back, Aunt Nora and I will have conquered today’s crossword puzzle.”

  “I bet you’re right.”

  She escaped to her bedroom, changed clothes, snatched the car keys off the dresser, and made a hasty exit. She didn’t want to risk Nora asking any more personal questions, especially in Diana’s presence, and she didn’t want to examine too closely why that bothered her so much.

  Diana and Nora watched Brooke leave. “Was it something I said?” Diana asked in jest.

  “More likely something I said,” Nora replied.

  She regarded her curiously. “You haven’t scared her off, have you?”

  “I certainly hope not.”

  She stared a minute longer. Clearly, something had transpired between Aunt Nora and Brooke before she arrived. “Is everything okay?”

  “Fine.”

  “Right.” What else was there to say?

  “If you’re serious about helping me with that crossword puzzle, we’d better get started, hadn’t we?”

  Nora motored over to the couch and Diana assisted her with the transfer. “Pen or pencil?”

  “What kind of question is that? Pen. Always a pen. One must approach a puzzle with confidence.”

  They worked through the puzzle together with several breaks. Nora fell asleep occasionally, and twice her body was wracked by coughing spasms.

  She was asleep now. She appeared to be deteriorating right before Diana’s eyes. Did Brooke think so too? Diana wished she were here. She was so much better at this caretaking thing. It wasn’t simply that she was a nurse
either. Diana admired her compassionate nature, patience, and calming presence, all qualities she knew she lacked.

  “Diana?”

  She half-rose from the chair. “Yes? Do you need something? Water? Food?”

  “Relax, dear. I don’t need anything from you at the moment. Thank you for offering, though.” Nora adjusted her position so that she was sitting up higher on the couch. “Actually, I have a question for you.”

  Diana sat forward. The hoarseness in Aunt Nora’s voice was making it hard to hear her. “I’m listening.” She also was trying to decipher the expression on her face.

  “Were you aware that Brooke is gay?”

  Her pulse jumped. “Was I…?”

  Nora’s lips curled up in a mischievous grin. “Did you know or was that a happy coincidence?”

  She knew her mouth must be hanging open, but she couldn’t help it. There it was—confirmation that Brooke was gay. But how could Aunt Nora be so sure?

  “Judging by the look on your face, I’ll take that as a no. She is, you know.”

  “H-how…” She cleared her throat and tried to rein in her galloping pulse. “What’s your source?”

  Nora laughed. “How very scientifically put. Always searching for reliable data. Good for you.”

  “Well?”

  “Brooke told me, of course.”

  “She…”

  Nora waved a hand. “She didn’t just blurt it out, naturally. I inquired directly.”

  “You asked her point-blank?” She ran her finger under the collar of her polo shirt as heat radiated up from her chest to her neck and beyond.

  “I did.”

  “You seem awfully pleased with yourself.”

  “Wouldn’t you be?”

  Diana sat back. Brooke was a lesbian. She’d confirmed it to Aunt Nora. Brooke definitely was a lesbian. “Huh.”

  “What was that, dear?”

  She hadn’t realized she’d uttered that out loud. “That explains why she shot out of here like her hair was on fire. You put her through an inquisition.”