by Twyla Turner
By Twyla Turner
©Copyright 2019 by Twyla Turner
Cover images Copyright by depositphotos
©sakkmesterke
©sammep
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events are purely coincidental.
To anyone wishing for their own holiday miracle.
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Other Books by Twyla Turner
Connect with Author
“Jake, bruh. Why are you so stoopid?!” Demetrius laughed.
“Just take the pic, man.” Jake posed. “Do you know how funny this is gonna be?”
“You a damn fool.” Jake’s best friend and business partner shook his head.
Jake half leaned out of the Porsche he’d borrowed from one of their customers. A fancy sports car to add to the image for his joke.
“All you’re gonna get is your DMs blowing up and some stalkers,” Demetrius said.
“D, nobody’s gonna respond to this post! They’d be too embarrassed.” Jake waved off his friend’s warning.
“Alright, bet.” Demetrius held out his fist for Jake to bump. “Watch you get some Bilbo Baggins looking chicks. Or some big girls looking for a snack. Or some psycho cuties that are single for a reason.”
“That’s why your ass is still single! With yo Jack Black, Shallow Hal acting ass.”
“Why you still single then?”
“Because I haven’t found ‘Bae’ yet. All the women I meet prefer men who drive the fancy cars, not fix them.” Jake frowned as he adjusted his suit jacket.
“Is that why you stuntin’ with the doctor’s car?” D pointed to the Porsche Jake was sitting in.
“I’m not stuntin’. It’s just part of the joke.”
“Uh huh…”
“If this goes viral, it could also bring more traffic to the shop.”
Together they co-owned J&D Chi-Town Auto. Demetrius dreamed of making a living as a professional photographer but working on cars paid the bills. For Jake, the shop was his life. He was a lug head. That’s all he knew and all he wanted to do.
He had a good life. A modest life. He bought his own apartment in the Wicker Park area before they completely gentrified it. A successful co-owner of an auto shop for the last ten years. Drove an old 1969 Dodge Challenger that he restored with his pops, that he only took out during the warmer months. And a 2009 Durango to get him through the winter months. He had no plans on upgrading. No matter how well the shop did. He was a mechanic after all. If it broke down, he’d just fix it. Which saved him a lot of money.
The only thing missing from his life was a woman. Someone to come home to at night. To share his dreams with, in the quiet moments in bed before sleep took over.
Jake had spent the last ten years making sure his business stayed afloat. He didn’t have a lot of time to date. Now, he was thirty-eight with no wife and not even a girlfriend. All his siblings and cousins had someone. Everyone but him. His mother kept telling him it wasn’t normal. At least not according to her Italian culture. She often blamed his lack of urgency in starting a family on his father’s side. His German side.
He shook his head as he thought about the conversation they’d had a few months ago when he stopped by their house.
“Are you sure you’re not gay, Jacopo?” she asked using his real name, which he hated.
“Ma! I told you I wasn’t the last time you asked.”
“I mean, it’s okay if you are. Your father and I talked about it, and even he just wants to see you happy and settled. And you know how your father can be about these things. But I think your cousin Marco has helped change his mind since he came out.”
“Ma, I’m not coming out of the anything because I’m not gay. It’s cool if I was, and I’d tell you if I was. But I’m not. I was just busy building the business. Running a shop and fixing the cars takes up a lot of time.”
“I want some grandbabies from you while I’m still young enough to enjoy them. So, maybe it’s time to hire some more mechanics. Hmm…” she finished with a knowing look.
She had been right. And that’s why he’d finally given in and hired two more mechanics. It had been only him and D for the first three years and then they’d hired Steve seven years ago. It was about time to bring in new recruits. A guy and a girl. Mike and Gabriella. Not only was Gabriella a badass mechanic, Jake knew it was a good business move because she would bring in more female customers. They’d feel more comfortable talking to another woman. That she’d be honest with them about their car troubles.
Jake’s mom had been hopeful when he mentioned her. She was certainly beautiful, but she unfortunately played for the other team.
“You two finished goofing off? I have an idea I want to run by you.” Gabriella said as she wiped off her hands with a worn and faded red rag.
Speak of the devil, Jake thought to himself.
“Yeah, we’re done.” Demetrius stretched and handed Jake his camera so he could look at the pics he had taken
“What’s up?” Jake asked distractedly as he flipped through the photos.
“So, I know half the reason you hired me was so you could get more female clientele. What if you held a free class? A once a month class to teach women the basics of car care. How to jump start a car, check their oil, check the air pressure in their tires, and how to change a flat.” Gaby listed.
“Damn! That’s a good idea.” Demetrius rubbed his chin.
“Think about it. You teach women how to understand their cars and that’ll instill trust. They’ll be loyal to your shop for life and tell everyone they know about you too.” Gaby finished with a confident smile.
“Let’s do it.” Jake fist bumped her. “This is your baby, so get it going. Just let us know if you need some help.”
“I’ll create a flyer. Can you get them printed out to share around the neighborhood?” she asked.
“Absolutely,” Jake nodded.
“I’ll do the rest online.” Gaby looked him up and down curiously. “So, uh…what’s with the suit?”
“It’s a joke. I’m making a fake ad for a Holiday Bae and posting it on Facebook and Insta.
“Hmm…you sure you’re not trying to find a lady?” Gaby grinned at him.
“That’s what I was thinking!” Demetrius shouted.
“Y’all have no sense of humor and don’t know the first thing about free advertising on social media. This goes viral and we could have more customers because you know I’m adding our website and phone number to the post. Did y’all not see how that dentist went viral doing the Keke Challenge?”
“Did you see how hot that dentist was?” Gaby teased.
“Man, whatever.” Jake waved her away. “I’m cute.”
“Eh…you’ll do…for a white boy.” Gaby looked him up and down again.
“What do you know? You don’t even like dudes.”
“I still have eyes and know when someone’s attractive or not.” She scrunched up her face, did the duck lips, and squinted at him as she rubbed her chin. “Nah, I’m messing with you, Jake. You’re fine as hell. Chicks be checking you out all the time when they come in. Yeah, I’m
pretty sure it’ll go viral.”
“So, what you gonna put on the ad? What are you willing to do and for how much?” Demetrius grinned.
“‘They call it Almond Milk because no one would buy it if were called Nut Milk.’” Noelle read the post she’d stopped on during her evening scroll through Facebook.
She laughed so hard she almost shot her last sip of wine out her nose. Noelle wiped the tears from her eyes when she was finally able to stop laughing. Still little chuckles escaped her throat as she continued. She scrolled past several posts and then doubled back as something caught her eye. Her breath caught as her eyes focused on one of the finest men she’d seen in a long time.
One of her friends had shared a post from a page called J&D Chi-Town Auto. A guy was jokingly offering a ‘Holiday Boyfriend Special.’ Noelle had seen guys doing them before and always laughed. She wasn’t laughing now.
He had dark hair and silver eyes. His hair was stylish. The top was a few inches long and combed back with some hair wax. The back and sides were faded and blended in perfectly with a short well-groomed beard. His lines were so precise and crisp, Noelle knew he could’ve only gone to a black barber for that cut. He leaned halfway out of a fancy car, dressed in a sharp, navy blue 3-piece suit. He had so much swagger that Noelle felt her heart flutter. Among other things.
The pic next to his photo was a list of his Holiday specials:
Gold Package ($50)
One hour with family
Hold hands
Tell backstory of how we met
Platinum Package ($150 + to-go slice of pie)
Two hours with family
Hugs and arm around waist
Tell some jokes
Give the prayer at dinner
Diamond Package ($200 + to-go plate & slice of pie)
Three hours with family
Call your mom “Mom”
Holiday Selfie together & a pic with the Fam
A kiss under the mistletoe
Noelle laughed at the outlandish packages. She’d never even considered taking any of those holiday boyfriend jokes seriously…until now. Although, dudes that hot never tried to date her anyway.
She didn’t consider herself unattractive or unworthy. Quite the opposite. She had a pretty face, beautiful smile, great fashion sense, bubbly personality and a good job. She’d think she was a great catch and other women she encountered that spent any time with her were in shock that she was still single. If only men would get on board. If she were a man with those attributes, she’d already be married.
No, her problem was that she was a big girl.
Noelle had big tits and a fat ass. Exactly what men wanted. But they also wanted what was in between the two to be flat and tight. It was unreasonable to think most women with both big breasts and backside would have a flat stomach to go along with it. They did get her a lot of initial dates, though. Dates that led to men trying to get her in bed. None ever led to a relationship or proposal.
“Ugh! Fuckboys!” She raged into her empty bedroom.
She tapped on the third photo on the hot guy’s post. It was a real promotional photo for the holiday specials at the auto shop. So, it was apparent that the hot guy probably worked at the shop and this was a promotional stunt to attract new customers. He’d done a good job, because Noelle was ready to take her car in for a full checkup.
She’d never considered a blue-collar worker as a potential mate. Deep down Noelle knew that was another reason she was still single. But it was something she wasn’t ready to acknowledge.
Noelle continued to scroll down her timeline. Thoughts of her family’s upcoming annual Christmas get together and her company’s holiday party plagued her. She was so sick of being placed at the kiddie table to supervise the children, since she was the only single adult. She was tired of the looks of sympathy and the constant discussions about her dating life or lack thereof. Or how her coworkers decided she was the charity case they wanted to work on. Every single year they tried to fix her up with their shitty acquaintances, so she wouldn’t have to suffer through the party alone. Which led to a string of terrible dates at the beginning of ever year. Her family was even beginning to question her sexuality.
Hell, I’m sure it would be easier if I did bring home a girlfriend. At least they’d more than likely leave me alone. Noelle rolled her eyes.
The jumble of humiliating holidays year after year had Noelle scrolling back to the ‘Holiday Boyfriend’ ad. She knew it was just a promotional stunt. She was in advertising after all. But the thought of suffering through another Christmas with her nagging family and annoying coworkers found Noelle in the auto shop’s DMs.
Hey, my name is Noelle. I know your Holiday Boyfriend Special was a joke, and I know your DMs are probably full with ladies trying to get a date with you. But I hope you come across mine, and give it a read and some thought. Because I cannot go through another holiday season with my parents badgering me about being single and my coworkers looking at me like some sad charity case. They’re even beginning to question my sexuality. *eyeroll* I will straight up pay you $300 (a hundred over what you asked), if you’ll attend my family get together as well as my company party. What do you say?
Jake read the message again for the fifth time. Then he tapped on her profile pic again to enlarge it. She was beautiful. Pretty cocoa skin, warm brown eyes, full lips, and a welcoming smile. All framed by a long, layered jet-black bob that went just past her chin. She didn’t look crazy and her profile looked legit.
Hers was the hundred-and-one DM he’d received out of about five hundred. Demetrius had been right. And people thought men sent freak nasty DMs. They had nothing on the ladies. Jake had been sent all kinds of dirty pics. He’d never seen such a large variety of naked breasts in his life.
Then there were the DMs that were down right creepy and stalker-ish. Jake had been fascinated with opening each one. He had no idea why he felt the need to read all of them. He was sure it was curiosity more than anything.
But it was something about this woman’s message that made him stop and reread it and stare at her photo. Her words spoke to him because he was going through the same thing with his family. Even down to her family questioning her sexuality. It was the story of his life. It also didn’t hurt that she was stunning.
Jake had to admit he always went for a certain type of woman. The drop-dead gorgeous model types. Tall, slender, and with striking features. And he’d had nothing but trouble. With those looks, he’d think that they would be confident. But it was the exact opposite. The majority of them needed constant validation and approval. It was exhausting.
But this woman looked soft, welcoming, confident. She’d have to be at least somewhat confident to drop into a stranger’s inbox to ask for a date.
Jake tapped the empty bar to start typing his response. He heard footsteps and quickly hit the side button to close his phone and sat it down just as Demetrius walked into the office part of the shop.
“What are you doing?” Demetrius looked at him suspiciously.
“Nothing.”
“You’re looking at more of those DMs, aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Man, I told you your inbox was about to be hoppin’. How many do you have now?” D asked as he tried to grab for Jake’s phone.
Jake snatched it off the desk and pressed it against his chest. “None ya.”
“How many?”
“I don’t know,” Jake shrugged. “Maybe five hundred.”
“FIVE HUNDRED!” D’s eyes bugged out. “Man, I’d delete the account and start over.”
“I’m considering it. Trust.”
“How many titty pics did you get?” Demetrius smirked.
“Too many.” Jake shook his head.
Demetrius’s smirk deepened and he nodded his head slowly. “That’s my boy. So, you gonna show me?”
“Hell no! These chicks are crazy for sending their nudes to a stranger,
but I’m not gonna put them on blast like that. They’re for my eyes only. Besides, I’ve been deleting them as I go. I ain’t saving that shit.”
“Damn! Why you gotta be a good guy and shit?” D laughed.
“I’m not. If I were, I’d take some of these lonely ladies up on their offers.” He thought about the one woman he did plan on messaging. “But what I’m not is a creepy asshole who shares pics of naked women that were meant for my eyes only.”
“You’re right. You’re right.” D conceded. “Back to regular porn.”
Jake chuckled. “You’re a fool.”
“Duh.” D rolled his eyes and then walked out of the office.
Jake waited a few beats before opening his phone again and started to type.
Hey, Noelle! Are you sure you’re not talking about my family? The name’s Jake, by the way. Yes, the Holiday Boyfriend Special was a joke… But since it sounds like your family is a clone of mine, I know how you feel and I’d be willing to strike up a deal with you. Gather up a group of your lady friends to come to our new monthly Chicks & Chassis class. It’s a free class led by our resident lady mechanic who will teach you important things to know about your vehicle, so you don’t have to depend on a man. And then if you can maybe return the favor and come with me to my family’s Christmas dinner, I can definitely come to your family event and company party. What do ya say?
“Squeeeeeeeee!!!” Noelle screeched with delight as she read the message from the guy in the Holiday Boyfriend ad. “You’ve got to be shitting me!”
So, his name is Jake. Figures. Hot guy name given to a hot guy.
“Whoa! What’s that smile for?” Noelle’s best friend Charlene said as she walked back to their table after using the restroom.
They were at Sunday brunch. Noelle had been in the middle of pulling up the Holiday Boyfriend post to show Char, when she saw she’d gotten the message from him.