Reluctant Surrender

by Riley Murphy

  Man, if she had a nickel for every time her jaw was left swinging by his abrupt statements she’d probably have enough dough to go on her dream trip to the Dominican. “Excuse me?”

  “You don’t get to enjoy any part of my body. Especially that part, until you earn the privilege to do so.”

  She blinked, trying to connect the dots. “But I thought…”

  “You thought you could be forgiven for your earlier rudeness by giving me head.”

  Damn. Her frying cheeks spelled guilty. No way to brazen her way around this one. “Yes.”

  His eyes widened. Just a little, but enough for her to experience the satisfaction of knowing she’d surprised him with her honesty. Although by the way he calmly spoke you’d never know it.

  “No. Sex is not what you need to do to get between my sheets. If you think things through and make an intelligent effort, sex will be the reward you get when I finally invite you into my bed.”

  She sat up so fast her hair flopped in her face. Huffing it out of the way, she scowled. “What was with the gotcha? You said you had me right were you wanted me, when it’s clear you don’t.”

  His eyes never left her. “Oh, make no mistake. My bed is where I want you. Once you’re prepared to do what you need to do to please me. And as to that list? Sex isn’t on it.”

  She let his words sink in while she tried not to melt. His voice rumbled, low and sexy. He probably did it on purpose, just to rub it in because given a minute to think about the list, she was coming up empty. She had zip. Nada. How the hell did a woman please a man without giving him sex?

  “You’ll have to figure it out.”

  Yes. He read minds. Dammit.

  “But I’m going to make it easy for you.” Rolling over onto his side, he rested his head in his palm. “I want you to go to your room. Sit on the right side of your bed and think long and hard about how I’m not your buddy. I want you to revisit the comment you made to me about your father. I want you to see the you I saw in that moment. You have two hours to come up with an explanation and an apology.”

  It wouldn’t take her two hours. Already she knew what a brat she must have looked like. “I’m sorry.”

  He ignored this, adding, “At the end of the two hours I want you to change into something that you think will please me and then I want you to come back here. At that time you can show me how sorry you are.”

  “No sex?” she asked, wanting to be clear. Because without sex involved she had absolutely no idea how she was going to accomplish this.

  “No.” He lifted his arm off his hip to check his watch. “Your two hours starts now, Colin.”

  She had just reached the door when he called, “Remember to sit on the right side of your bed.”

  A minute later she knew why he’d instructed her to do that. Sitting on the left side, she’d be able to view the lake. On the right? Nothing but striped wallpaper. Not even a picture to distract her.

  Clever bugger.

  * * * * *

  By the time her two hours were up Colin made her decision. She’d wear nothing but her undies. She dug for and found the only thong she owned. If that didn’t lead to sex? Well, she’d make him dinner. Although the thought of cooking mostly naked bothered her on a few levels. The most important one being there’d be more of her skin exposed to be possibly burned. Mulling that over she had to say she wasn’t loving that aspect of plan B.

  But?

  She would do it if she had to.

  At least she thought she could until her two hours were up and she found herself fighting with instinct, trying to get out that door. She wound up using a towel as cover. Convinced that once she arrived at Ethan’s room she’d take it off. And yet now that she stood right in the middle of his bedroom, with the soft evening lights giving the space a golden glow, it was as if the velvety terry was glued on her.

  When she’d entered, he’d had his back to her, looking out at the lake, but now he’d turned around and given her his undivided attention. “Interesting. I never figured myself for a potato-sack kind of a guy.”

  Stupid towel. “No.” She took a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she undid the tuck and dropped the cover. “I wanted to come here like this.” She peeked out of one eye to see if he was going to rush forward. And when he didn’t move and she saw his crooked smile, both her eyes opened. Dammit. It was beginning to look as if her cooking dinner tonight completely mortified was on the menu.

  “I was thinking I’d make you dinner.”

  “Like that?”

  She may as well own it. Her chin came up a notch. “Yes.”

  “I already ate.”

  So much for thinking she’d kill with the sexy and now he’d turned down her alternative? She should have kept the towel on. At least she’d be covered while useless.

  “Oh.”

  “You’re not digging deep enough.”

  Okay, another if she had a nickel moment right here. Seriously? Deep enough? She was standing in front of the guy wearing a pair of lace panties she normally wouldn’t be caught dead wearing. She nearly broke a tooth biting off the price tag before she squeezed into them and he thought she wasn’t digging deep enough? Oh, she knew what was deep enough all right. It was how freaking deep the T-back was digging into the crack of her ass at the moment and there was nothing she could do about it.

  “Come here, Colin.”

  Self-conscious didn’t begin to describe what she was feeling. It went way beyond that. Mortified didn’t even scratch the surface. The gnawing ache of uncomfortable settled in the pit of her stomach like a bowling ball dropped on a Memory Foam mattress. Crap, why did she lose the towel?

  “Come on.”

  She was a firm believer in persistence. She’d always found if she pushed things hard enough something always broke and distracted attention from what was really bothering her.

  Her legs wobbled just a little. She didn’t look at him. Which was probably a mistake. With her eyes downcast she saw how her breasts appeared. Pert and waiting for his attention. Damn.

  “Colin?” He used his bent knuckle under her chin to gently force her head to tilt. Looking into her eyes, he said, “What do you have to say to me? Did you think about what I told you?”

  “Yes.”

  “And?”

  Uh-oh, her lip started to quiver. She wasn’t going to cry. There was no way. Gaining strength in that fortifying thought, she took a deep breath. “I need to grow up and stop being so petty about the things I can’t change.”

  “Very good. Are you hungry?”

  Before she could say yes or no or ask if she could have the towel back, he took her hand and pulled her toward to a small table set up in the bay window. As they got closer she noticed there was only one chair. Only one plate, and seeing as how he said he’d already eaten she thought it was there for her. How would she ever chew and swallow whatever was on that plate dressed as she was?

  “Do you like marinara sauce?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” They got to the table and he let go of her hand. Without preamble he sat down in the chair and snapped out a napkin. Laying it with a flourish over his lap he looked up at her. “Kneel right here.” He spread his leg and the napkin drooped between his thighs. “I want to feed you.”

  Decision time. Kneeling at the moment was better than standing because her breasts, with hardened nipples, were right at his eye level. The way she saw it? She had no choice. “Okay.”

  She got down on her knees and was going to put her hands behind her back for no other reason than two of the three positions he’d taught her required her to do it, but he stopped her.

  “No, Colin. I want your hands on my knees.”

  He didn’t help or guide her. He just expected she do it and when she did she felt more alive, more submissive than if she’d put her hands behind her back. The heat of him. The power beneath her palms was breathtaking.

  “Very good. This is what pleases me.” He pushed back her hair and said
, “Do you remember I told you I pay attention to effort? To a dedication to elegance?”

  She did remember. “Yes.”

  “So let’s talk about today when you had your outburst. I want you to understand that I make no judgment about the emotions attached to it. How could I? My disappointment stemmed from the way you behaved. You are welcome to share your most private thoughts with me. I’ll never pass judgment, but I do expect you to think things through. I don’t want your inner twelve-year-old coming at me. I want the brave and beautiful woman you are today to speak in a dignified manner so we can help you through the pain you still carry because of what happened in your past.”

  Now she really felt like an idiot. It wasn’t as if she had a horrible life. Her mother died. Unfortunately, that happened sometimes. And yeah, her parents had been on the edge of divorce when her mom was diagnosed. But it could have been worse. Never was she abandoned, abused or ignored. Far from it.

  “I think I was feeling sorry for myself when I have no right to.”

  “You have a right. The twelve-year-old inside you has a right to anger, but we’ll talk about that later. Right now I want you to eat before this gets cold.”

  It was the strangest thing. Being nearly naked, kneeling and eating. Yet Ethan made it seem as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He kept her engaged in conversation. Made her laugh when she complained about the stupid kale chips and continued to grill her about her life and family.

  “So.” He held out the last of the pasta for her to bite off the fork. “You’re telling me that Marlene bested you at everything? Even dating guys?”

  She chewed on that and the pasta for a moment and then swallowed. “Yes.”

  She scrunched her nose then caught herself. “I think boys were more interested in Marlene’s other attributes. I know John was.”

  He must have seen her adjust her expression. “I like it when you do the nose thing. I like it a lot.”

  “You do?” She didn’t intend to make it happen, it just did.

  “Yes. Come here.” Putting the napkin and fork aside, he grabbed her by her arms and lifted her onto his lap. “This is what really does it for me. You trying. That’s it.”

  She thought about that for a moment. Really thought about it. Deeply. And then decided to share her thoughts. “You know? A blowjob would have been a lot easier.”

  This was the first time he laughed. Oh, not that he hadn’t chuckled before, but right now he was laughing outright and instead of smiling or laughing herself, she found herself flushing. Not with embarrassment, but with pleasure that she’d made him happy.

  “Ethan?” Darn, her voice sounded so small. Unsure. “Thank you for dinner.”

  The air around them got thick and suddenly, he went quiet. “It was my pleasure, baby girl.”

  She liked being in his arms this way. Undressed to his dressed. There was a certain rightness about it. “Ethan?”

  “Hmm?” He brushed her hair away from her face and she loved that.

  “I’ve never wanted to be in anyone’s bed as much as I want to be in yours. Right now.”

  “I know.”

  He was too arrogant for words so she didn’t speak. Only snuggled up against him, laying her head on his shoulder and enjoyed the quiet.

  After a few minutes he kissed her on the temple and whispered, “Tomorrow we’re going to the mansion again. Do you remember your safe word?”

  The way he asked made it sound as if she were going to need it. That was as exciting as it was terrifying. “Yes.”

  “Very good.”

  That fluttery zing of sexual anticipation was back with a vengeance. She had to work hard not to grind her bottom down on him. Surely he’d know what kind of a state she was in. Her breasts were, she shot a look down and sighed, putting it all out there. Shifting to examine the stubble on his chin it occurred to her that even though he was strong he wasn’t invincible. “Ethan?” She caressed his shoulder with the side of her face and playfully walked her fingers up his arm. “I’ll do anything you want.” She threw in a bum snuggle for good measure. “Anything.”

  “I’ll be holding you to it tomorrow.”

  “Mmm…” She practically purred. “What about tonight?”

  “Tonight,” he squeezed her quick and let her go, “you’ll need all the rest you can get so you’ll do anything for me tomorrow.”

  Sitting up to question him, she turned and caught a blue and a red light blinking through the window in the darkness. She knew what that meant. Folding her arms over her breasts, she panicked. “There’s a boat out there. On the water. They can see right in here.”

  Ethan didn’t turn to confirm this. He just stared at her. “So?”

  “I’m…” She turned into him. Pressing herself so hard against his chest she nearly slipped off his lap. “Naked.”

  It wasn’t until she stopped squirming that she heard his calm command, “Get up and close the drapes.”

  “What?”

  “I want you to close the drapes.”

  There was an underlying firmness in his voice that said, I’m not taking any prisoners. “But I’m—they’ll see me.”

  “So?”

  She quit pressing and pushed instead, until she was sitting up straight. No easy feat when she couldn’t use her hands. “I don’t want them to see me naked.”

  “Why?”

  “Because…because…” She was searching here. “It’s embarrassing.”

  “For whom? You? You shouldn’t be embarrassed. You have a beautiful body, Colin. If there are people out there looking in at us, it’s them who should be ashamed. Now,” he gave her an encouraging nudge, “close the drapes.”

  In a weird way he had a good point. Be that as it may, she didn’t want a bunch of strangers seeing her in her undies. She stood, yet hesitated to do as he asked.

  “Drop your arms, Colin. Remember? I don’t like them crossed. Go on.” He gave her an encouraging nod. She took a deep breath, dropped her arms and marched to the window.

  “Feel better?” he asked, once the drapes were fully drawn.

  How did he know these things? She actually felt great. “Yes.”

  “I’m glad. Now clear the table and take the dishes into the kitchen. When you get back I have something for us to do. Colin? What are you doing?”

  Plucking up the towel, she replied, “I’m putting this back…” Her words trailed off as he shook his head.

  “You chose the perfect outfit for the evening. Don’t spoil it. Fold the towel and put it on my bed.”

  By the time she finished with the dishes, she had herself believing all kinds of things. He was going to be naked, lying in bed. Maybe naked standing at the end of the bed. On the bed. On the floor. Heck, she didn’t care as long as the prevailing theme was that he was naked. So when she saw him sitting in the same chair, fully dressed with the only noticeable difference being an upholstered stool shelving the magnetic chessboard, she stopped.

  “That was fast,” he said with a grin.

  “Chess again?”

  “Yes,” he drew out slowly. “You need to improve your game.”

  Boy did she ever. Here she was in nothing but a skimpy butt-cleaving thong and she still couldn’t get laid.

  An hour later she thought she was holding up rather well. She’d gotten over all of her shyness of being semi-dressed, she had four of his game pieces and counted a half-dozen potential moves for the win, but then his cell rang.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart, I have to take this call.”

  She was going to tell him he could wait until after his call to do his next move, but he leaned over and moved his queen all the way to her end of the board. “Checkmate,” he announced with a wink and flipped his phone open.

  She studied the board in stunned silence. A little disheartened when she realized he could have won anytime he wanted to. Damn, she was a wood-pusher. Meh, maybe from now on she’d insist they stick to checkers. But then, he won at that too.

&n
bsp; By the time she’d packed up the board and sat back she thought he’d be finished speaking but he was still engrossed in conversation. Wanting to give him some privacy, she went to get up and he stopped her.

  Before she knew it, he’d reached down and hooked an arm around her, pulling her across the floor so she sat at his feet. Her shoulder pressed against his knee and her bottom against his ankle. He never broke in conversation, nor did he say anything to her. He just left her sitting there. Oddly enough, it was a thrilling and calming experience all at once. And when he put his hand in her hair and massaged her scalp, drawing her head against his hip as he petted, she closed her eyes and relaxed. So much so that when he eventually spoke her name she was startled. “Yes?”

  The way her head fell back as she looked up stoked him to a burn. There was wonder in her expression. “What are you thinking?”

  She didn’t look away or blush as she answered, “I was thinking you’re pretty special.”

  He’d never had a woman who spoke to him this way. Who said the things she said or did the things she did. From her nose scrunch to her silent wows, she affected him on a very deep level.

  “Come here.” He stood and pulled her up with him. He didn’t give her a chance to protest as he lifted her in his arms.

  “Ethan!”

  “Wrap your legs around me. It’s time you went to bed and I’m going to take you there.”

  She did as she was told, but when he made his way to the door her head came up, bumping him on the chin as she pointed. “Your bed’s that way.”

  “I’m taking you to your bed. You still have some earning to do before I ask you to join me in mine.”

  She wilted against him like a hothouse flower and grumbled against his neck, “How can I earn it if you don’t find me attractive?”

  He was halfway down the darkened hall when her words registered. “Don’t find you attractive?” he growled. Turning, he pinned her between him and the wall, lifting her up until they were at eye level. “It’s because I find you too attractive that I have to take care. I want more than sex with you. A lot more.”

  She looked so distraught that a terrible feeling came over him. A knot of something fisted in his belly. At first he thought it was guilt, but the more he eyed her the more he began to suspect it was apprehension. He was actually worried she didn’t want him. Ridiculous as that notion seemed, he had to qualify her obvious trepidation.