by Marie Skye
“He was my hero. And I’ll love him always.”
I walked off the podium, and kept walking past Grayson until I reached the end of the aisle and out the door.
Grayson
I stood up and went after her. She was off to the side of the church, arms wrapped around herself. She looked so small and fragile. She looked over her shoulder when she heard me approach. “I couldn’t even do a speech right. I didn’t have anything written down.” She held up her notecards as I slowly walked toward her.
“What you said was lovely. He would’ve loved them.”
She crossed her arms as she watched the passing cars on the street.
“I have something for you.” I pulled out the envelope, containing the letter that Tyler had written for her. “This is from Tyler. He had written it for you. During the crash… I didn’t know he had it, but one of the last things he was trying to tell me was ‘pocket.’ At first, I didn’t know what he meant, then I realized he was trying to tell me he had something in his pocket, and that’s when I found this letter.”
Emmalin stared at the letter in my hands. “I’ve been trying to find the right time to give it to you, but there never was one. These past few days haven’t been the easiest.”
Her eyes glossed as she slowly took the letter from my hand. I kissed the top of her head. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
She looked back at me with tears in her eyes and nodded, as she walked over to a nearby tree.
Chapter Seventeen
Emmalin
My hands shook as I took out the letter. I wasn’t sure what I expected to see. A big ‘thank you for fucking up my life and getting me killed.’ Or something, I don’t know. I took a deep breath as I unfolded it carefully.
Willow,
I know what you’re thinking. Who writes letters anymore, right? Well my phone is dead so I couldn’t call you back, or text you, and if I know you, you filled up my mailbox already, so there’s that. Shit, I’m not good at words, so I’ll just say it. I’m not mad at you. I was disappointed you didn’t come to me. Stop hiding shit. That’s always been your problem. Contrary to what you think, people love you. Especially that asshole you’re with. He loves you the most. More than me. He’s not so bad. If you ever tell him this shit, I’ll deny all of it. You don’t need me anymore, but I’ll always fight for you and protect you against anyone that tries to hurt you. I did it back then, and I don’t regret any of it. You’ll always be my little Willow tree.
I didn’t notice I was crying until the tears fell on the paper. He didn’t hate me. He didn’t die hating me. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. But it still wasn’t going to stop me from killing Carson.
After the cremation ceremony, a small gathering was held at a small pub. I was a little livelier then. The Xanax I ended up taking helped get me through it. Either that, or the flask Chace nudged me with when Grayson wasn’t looking. I was definitely feeling something, and found myself just smiling for no damn good reason.
“How are you holding up?”
I gazed at Molly, still with a ridiculous grin on my face. I think I was a little drunk. I cleared my throat, and replied, “I think I’m good. How are you doing?”
She nodded. “I’m making it through. I’m moving back to Michigan.”
I wasn’t expecting that. “Wow. When?”
“Now.” She gave me a smile. “I was only here because of Tyler, and there’s no reason to stay really.”
I nodded. “We’ll miss you, Molly. I wish we hung out more.”
She flung her arm around me. “Well, if you’re ever in Michigan…”
I gave her a smile. “Of course, and if you need anything, please call me, day or night.”
“Same with you.” She leaned closer. “And I expect an invite to your future wedding.” She gave me a tight hug. Before she let go, I grabbed onto her and looked into her eyes. “Molly. I don’t know if I said this, but I’m sorry for your loss.”
She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, then shut it, and gave me a sad smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss, as well.” She gave me one final pat before turning to leave.
Isabella took the spot she just vacated. “You’re drunk.”
“So. Your boyfriend gave it to me.”
She grabbed the flask and took a swig, then grimaced. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Well you’re something. It’s time you stopped pussy-footing around. Do it for Tyler.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re playing the Tyler card. Really?”
I threw my head back and laughed. “Yep. It’s free reign today. Probably all week. I get automatic sympathy rights.” She handed me back the flask.
“It’s complicated.”
As if his ears were ringing, Chace walked back over, eyeing Isabella up and down, before looking my way and reaching for the flask, which was now empty. He arched an eyebrow. “That was Dalmore. Did you eat anything before you finished this?”
I burped. “Yep. Two Xanax.”
He frowned. “Grayson is going to kill me, you know that, right? He’s still pissed at me.”
I started laughing. “That was genius!” I stood up and started swaying.
Chace let out a muttered curse as he picked me up. I turned into his chest.
“I’m sorry about your friend, beautiful,” he whispered in my ear.
“Are you hitting on me?”
“I’m always hitting on you.” He gave me a wink, “Especially in front of Grayson. I had five days with you. I could’ve had you forgetting all about him.”
“I forgot what a comedian you were,” a thunderous voice boomed out. I looked up to a brooding Grayson, not looking too pleased at Chace, with me snuggled against him.
“She drank a whole flask of Dalmore, and a Xanax.”
Grayson immediately tensed.
“Two! It was two Xanax!” I yelled out as Chace placed me into Grayson’s arms gently, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“You getting tired?” he murmured in my ear.
I nodded, as he moved us through the rest of the pub and across the back room. I heard the door open, and a blast of cold surrounded me, followed immediately by warmth. “If you can, stay awake at least another hour, okay? I really need you to eat something. You haven’t eaten more than a few pieces of toast these past few days.” I nodded sleepily against his chest as the car started to move, followed by him telling Hawkins to take us home.
One thing I learned about death, is people cook. The kitchen was filled with food, and Magda was still cooking. As soon as we entered the kitchen, she dropped what she was doing and came over to me, engulfing me in a big hug. I momentarily stiffened before finally wrapping my arms around her. I remembered how she made Tyler laugh, and that had me smiling.
She pulled back and sighed before tucking a strand of hair off my face.
“You’re too thin. You have bags under eyes. What would our naked man think?” She arched an eyebrow and I laughed. I genially laughed. “I make you plate; you eat all of it. Then you sleep.” I nodded, not wanting to argue with Magda.
Apparently, I was hungrier than I thought, as I ate a plate and a half of lasagna. I would’ve eaten more, but the full effect of the Xanax was kicking in and I was getting tired. I was now staring at the remainder of my food when I looked up, seeing Grayson smiling at me.
“What?”
He shook his head. “I’m glad you’re eating, that’s all.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Thank you for all you’ve done.” I started to yawn, and I felt myself being lifted up into his arms.
“I would move the world for you.” In our bedroom, he laid me gently in bed, and I drifted off to sleep, where hopefully I could have a night with a good dream.
Grayson
After I made sure Emmalin was sound asleep, I reluctantly went to my office. I had shit to fuck up.
“How is she?”
I looked into the dark eyes o
f Ruska leaning against the window sill. Even with the darkness cascading around him, he looked scary as fuck. “She’s fine. She could be doing better. I guess happy endings are only for fairy tales.”
He smirked. “That’s the fucking truth.”
He was a hard ass, but I still saw the pain in his eyes from his wife leaving him. He cleared his throat. “We’ve recently been checking Dale out. He wasn’t the one that ran you off the road. In fact, he’s been laying low, as well as making frequent trips out of the country. The night of your attack, he was on his way to the airport.”
I stilled.
“Here’s pictures.”
I looked over the pictures Ruska laid in front of me. None of it made sense. “The cops are involved now, because of the crash, but there’s no description other than the type of vehicle that struck us. If Dale wasn’t the one, then that leaves Carson.”
Ruska eyed me carefully. “The stepbrother? We could always make him disappear. You, of all people, know that. That could’ve been done a long time ago.”
“But what if getting rid of him won’t get rid of the problem. If he’s working with someone before we find them, and they end up striking, then what? They fucking killed Tyler; who’s to say they won’t try to kill Emmalin next? I won’t fucking lose her.” I ran my hand through my hair, and faced the window, looking out into the black night. Everything seemed so calm down below. “I want him dead,” I said through gritted teeth. “But I can’t risk striking too soon. Not yet.”
If the cops got involved, they were going to start digging. They would start investigating Carson’s relationship with Emmalin, probing deeper and deeper, and the last thing I needed was for her to be forced to go down memory lane about her rape and abuse. This whole shit could open up a new investigation with the death of her stepfather, about how he really died, and she didn’t need that. She would get scared, and she would run.
“Fine. We’ll keep eyes and ears. If anything changes, then we move.” Ruska got up and left. I looked backed at the pictures of Carson. Should’ve been him in that fucking urn.
I woke up to a loud bang and immediately reached for Emmalin. Her spot was cold. I looked at the clock, seeing it was just after three in the morning. I sat up, when the bang happened again, and got out of bed. I headed for the living room, where Emmalin had the cushions flipped over. I rubbed my eyes as I approached her slowly.
“Emmalin.”
She looked up at me, continuing with whatever she was doing.
“Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine,” she answered brashly, as she started moving the sofa from against the wall, looking behind it, and then moving it back.
“What are you doing?”
She ignored me as she went to the other sofa and lifted up the cushions.
“You’re being very enthusiastic tonight, Emmalin. Perhaps you should have some water or something and sit down.” I gestured toward the chair.
“Perhaps you should leave me the hell alone. I said I was fine!”
My eyes narrowed into slits. I could feel my palm itching as I watched her move briskly around the room, looking for what? I hadn’t a damn clue, but I was ticking, and she was demolishing the fucking place. I took a deep breath and decided on another approach. “Can I help you find whatever you’re searching for?”
She crossed her arms, and not quite meeting my gaze, she shook her head no. She moved to walk past me, and I stepped in her way, backing her against the wall. “Do you need something?” I put my knee in between her thighs. “What do you need, Emmalin?” I growled in her ear. She hissed as I nipped her collar bone. “I know I can’t erase these past few days,” my hands unhurriedly roamed from her breasts, to her hips. “But I know your body. I know what you need. To come.”
She shivered as I sucked the column of her neck. “You’re wrong,” she whispered.
I continued my trail to the other side of her neck. “Am I? This body is mine. So I’ll take care of it.” I slid her pants down, taking her panties with them. Her eyes never leaving mine, I gently lifted her cami over her head, and she lightly shivered, letting out a soft sigh.
Her hands stilled on my shoulders. “I’m fine.”
I kissed her lips gently. “I know. You said that.” I bent down and took her nipple in my mouth and she let out a soft moan as she trembled beneath me. I trailed down her body, and I lightly grazed her clit, causing her to jump. I hooked one leg over my shoulder, and laid one arm across her stomach to hold her up as I toyed with her entrance, feeling it clench around my tongue. Fuck, I wanted to be inside her so bad. While I moved back up to her clit, I pulled my cock out to jerk off. If I wasn’t going to fuck her, I would at least follow behind her with my own release. Her hands dug in my hair as her breathing became labored. I sucked harder, and she yelled out a cry. If I hadn’t been holding her up, she would’ve fallen over. Hearing her pleasure is the best fucking sound in the world, and I made sure to lick up every delicious drop as I followed my release after her.
Once my breathing slowed, I slowly stood up, and she finally met my eyes. Tears were streaming down her face. She wrapped her arms around me, and I lifted her in my arms and took her to bed. After cleaning us up, I tucked her in my arms, and held her as she cried herself to sleep.
Emmalin
It’d been two weeks since Tyler died. Things had been quiet. I hadn’t gone back to work yet. Mostly because Grayson hadn’t allowed me to. I even asked to work from home, and all he said was, ‘we’ll see.’ Which, knowing him, meant no. I was tired of the hovering. There were days where I wanted everyone to just leave me alone. I was fine. I was starting to seriously consider taking out a billboard that spelled it out.
“Dr. Klein is stopping by today.”
I looked up slowly from my plate of food. He said it so casually, I almost missed it. “Why?”
Grayson took a sip of his juice. He studied me for a moment before speaking. “I think it would be good for you.”
I took a deep breath. I was so sick and tired of everyone trying to assess me. “For God’s sake, Grayson, I’m fine,” I said through gritted teeth. Just then the alarm buzzed, signaling someone was here. I gawked at him wide-eyed. He gave me a soft smile and gently placed his hand on top of mine.
“Humor me.” He looked down at my plate of barely touched breakfast. “You’ve had too many low blood sugars, Emmalin. I need you to finish that.” He gave my hand a gentle squeeze then got up from the table, and checked the security feed before buzzing whoever was at the door in. But I knew who it was. I shoved my plate away and stood up, walking toward the living room. I planted myself there, arms crossed. I was pissed.
Grayson was just opening the door to let Dr. Klein in. They stood at the entryway, shaking hands. I couldn’t believe this shit. This conjuring behind my back, like I was an insolent child. Dr. Klein finally turned my way, and smiled.
“Hello, Emmalin. It’s so great to see you again.”
I stood there, arms crossed, still holding my glass of orange juice, not even trying to give an inch.
“You can leave.” My voice was low but daring. He took a half step forward.
“Emmalin, I thought we could talk. Maybe finish that boat we started.”
“I said, you can leave.” My voice slightly wavered. “I didn’t invite you. He did.” I pointed to Grayson. “I’m fine. I don’t appreciate you going behind my back because you think you know what’s best for me. I’m not an idiot.”
Grayson stepped forward. “I just want you to talk, Emmalin.”
“Talk about what, Grayson? My feelings? Why? He’s dead, Grayson. He’s not coming back. I understood that two fucking weeks ago. People die every fucking day, so why is this any different? I don’t need to be coddled, so stop fucking coddling me. You won’t let me go back to work. You won’t let me leave. You won’t let me do anything. Stop acting like you know what’s best for me. You don’t know what’s best for me. No one does. Not you, not Dr. Klein, not Isabella, not C
hace. I’m the only one who knows what’s best for me, and right now, I need for everyone to back the fuck off and believe me when I say I’m fine, I am fine. I. Am. Fine!”
My shouting was interrupted, and the glass I was holding cracked in my hand. I didn’t realize I had been holding it so tightly. I watched as the orange juice flowed through my fingers, and the blood mixed in with the orange juice then dripped onto the plush carpet. My mouth formed a perfect O. The funny thing was, I didn’t feel any of it, and all I could think about was how that stain would never come out of that carpet.
Before I could say anything, Dr. Klein was at my side, wrapping a handkerchief around my hand. “Let me help you with that.” He smiled kindly at me. Too kind. Damn him and his kindness. He tugged me gently away from the mess. “Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up. I want to tell you about this crochet pattern my wife purchased.” As we walked away, I took one last look behind me at the stain on the carpet, then glanced up at Grayson before leaving the room.
“Just a few cuts, but you can still crochet with it.” Dr. Klein winked at me with a big smile. I felt myself giving a little smile back. He began laying out yarn and our crochet needles. He gestured toward the table, and I reluctantly walked toward it.
“So what are we making today?” I crossed my arms as I watched him rummage through his bag.
His eyes lit up. “A hat and a pair of baby booties.”
I crinkled my nose. “Doesn’t seem very exciting.”
“Maybe not for you. But I just found out I’m going to be a grandfather.”
I couldn’t fight the grin that slowly spread across my face. “Congratulations.”
He smiled. “Thank you. My wife is over the moon. It’s too early to determine the sex, so we’re sticking with neutral colors for now.” I nodded as I reached for yarn and looked over the pattern.