I was so scarred and worn down by Drake, I honestly couldn’t remember any other way to be around a guy except on alert.
Damaged goods.
Slut.
Stupid bitch.
I looked up at Knox as tears pooled in my eyes. I was ruined, no good. He was wasting his time even being my friend.
“Why are you crying, Lucy?” His hands framed my face, concern in his eyes. “What happened, angel? Did I do something?”
I wanted to blame my tears on the alcohol, but it had been too long since I’d had my last drink. This time, all I could blame was myself and the stupid choices I’d made with Drake.
Strong arms wrapped around me as he pulled me to his chest. He ran his hand up and down my back, trying to find some way to soothe me. The tears kept coming, so I hid my head in his chest the best I could.
“Hey, hey,” he said, trying to lift my head to look at him, but I wouldn’t move. “What happened? Please, talk to me.”
I shook my head, not able to talk. After a minute, I finally got some control and was able to stop. He handed me a few paper napkins, and I wiped my eyes and nose, hiccupping a bit from my sobs. When I finally dared, I lifted my head and sat back on my chair, looking at him even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.
What I saw melted my heart.
He was still looking at me with such concern, and even seemed a bit upset himself. Drake never cared when I was upset.
He reached over and brushed some of my hair over my ear. “Can you tell me what happened?” he asked as he handed me my glass of water.
I took it and gulped down the rest. He waited patiently and took the glass back, setting it on the table. He took my hand and rubbed his thumb over my wrist, helping me relax.
“I’m just really tired,” I tried, hoping he’d buy it. By the look in his eyes, no such luck. He kept rubbing my wrist with his thumb but frowned.
“C’mon Luce,” he said. “I know that’s not it.”
I sighed. “Can you take me home, please? I just want to get out of here.”
He gave me a small smile and nodded. He stood, then pulled me up with him as he tossed a few bills on our table. He grabbed my hand when we started to walk and held on tight. This time, I didn’t mind.
As we reached the exit, he held the door open for me, then we walked outside as he held me close, guiding me to his car. When we reached the Mercedes, he opened the passenger door and helped me in.
“No Maxwell tonight?” I asked once he sat in the drivers seat.
He flashed me a smile. “Nope, he usually has the weekends off.”
The fact that he didn’t need a driver at his disposal pleased me for some reason. “That’s very generous of you,” I teased.
“It is, isn’t it?” he teased back as he pulled out of the parking lot. We drove in silence for a few minutes, and for a moment I thought I was off the hook from having to explain my meltdown, but no such luck.
“So are you going to enlighten me on what happened back there? You really worried me.”
I sighed again, twisting my hands in my lap. “It’s a long story, and I don’t like talking about it. I just remembered something difficult from my past, and having it mixed with the alcohol…well, it got to me. I’m okay now, but I appreciate your concern. Thank you being there for me.”
He sighed, shoving a hand through his hair, but didn’t say anything. For some reason, that bothered me. The light turned green, and he accelerated faster than he needed to.
“What?” I asked, not being able to ignore it. “Why are you upset?”
The nerve in his jaw was ticking again. I was beginning to think that was a regular thing when he got mad. But why was he mad?
“Mr. Taylor?” I asked, more to annoy him and get him to talk, than to keep things “professional” between us.
That made him whip his head toward me. “Enough of the ‘Mr. Taylor’ shit Lucy. Call me Knox.”
Whoa.
“Now you’re pissing me off, Knox,” I said in a snotty tone. “Why are you mad?”
Suddenly he veered to the right, pulling into a vacant parking lot, and shoved the gear into park. He swiveled in his seat and faced me. “I’m mad because you won’t tell me what was wrong, which makes me mad that I’m mad. It’s obvious you’ve been through something horrible by the huge walls you surround yourself with. I know it’s none of my business and that we just barely agreed to be friends…”
He rubbed a hand down his face. The light caught some of the diamonds on his watch, which I focused on for a minute. His intensity was making me unsettled because I wasn’t sure how he was going to deal with it.
“There’s something about you that’s drawn me in since the first moment I saw you. I want to know so I can help you, but I know you won’t tell me, so I guess that’s that.”
He started the car again, putting it into reverse. I knew I should have stopped him, but I didn’t because his words were still soaking in. He wasn’t mad at me because I was a tease, or a slut. He was mad because I wouldn’t let him in.
As he drove, he looked over at me, but still didn’t say anything. When he pulled up to my apartment building and cut the engine, I stayed where I was. A part of me wanted to get out and run, but the other wanted to let him in.
Knox got out of the car, came to my side, and opened my door. He helped me out and walked me to the building entrance, but before I could enter in the code, he touched my shoulder.
“I’m sorry about that,” he said, when I was facing him. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”
He was apologizing to me?
“Uh…it’s okay. I hadn’t thought of it from your point of view, so I’m sorry too.”
He smiled as he ran his thumb across my cheek. “Good night, Lucy,” He dropped his hand and walked back to his car.
I watched him drive off as I slumped against the building, struggling to understand that maybe there really was a man out there who only wanted what was best for me.
Ever since I could remember, my mom had done her best to plant the seed in my head that all men were jerks. I never knew my father because once my mom told him she was pregnant, he bailed on her and never came back. All I heard growing up was how stupid and worthless men were, and that you couldn’t depend on them.
She was pretty good to me while I was young, taking me out on different activities and encouraging my love for reading. But as soon as a man entered her life, she’d act differently. She seemed to hate men, yet couldn’t stop seeing them.
Whenever I’d ask about my daddy, her eyes would narrow, and she’d tell me to forget about him—that he obviously didn’t care about my happiness. When you hear something enough, you start to believe it.
“No man will ever truly care about you or your happiness, Lucy Jane. Don’t look at me like that, I’m only telling you for your own good. It’s better to know earlier than later, and to have low expectations. Trust me, Lucy, I know what I’m talking about.”
I sighed at the memory as I punched in the code and let myself into the building.
I WAS AWAKENED THE FOLLOWING morning by the sound of Megan losing the contents of her stomach. That was one of the downsides of sharing a tiny flat—you heard everything. I pulled my pillow over my head, but that didn’t help one bit, so giving in to the fact I wouldn’t be getting any more sleep, I got up.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t hung-over…much. I poured myself some coffee and leaned against the very small counter. Sean came in a minute later and grabbed some aspirin and a glass of water.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” I greeted back. “Sounds like Megan is paying for last night.”
He lowered his head a bit and grinned. “Yeah, I told her she would, but does she ever listen?”
We both laughed. “Nope.”
Megan walked in looking extremely pale as she pressed her palms to the side of her head. “Will you two please be quiet? I can hear you all the way from the bathroom. It’s like you’re sh
outing just to piss me off.”
Sean and I looked at each other, then burst out laughing again, which earned us both glares. I walked over and put my arm over her shoulders, making her groan. “Megs, we weren’t shouting. That just shows how much you really drank last night. Serves you right, sugar.”
She ducked out of my arm and turned to give me another glare. “Some best friend you are.” She grabbed the aspirin and water from Sean, then stomped off, and he shrugged his shoulders as he followed her. I picked up a banana and peeled it as I finished my coffee, still laughing at my roommate.
When I was finished, I headed for the bathroom to take a shower. Seeing them on the couch, I stopped in front of Megan and bent down.
“Sorry to upset you, Megs, but Sean and I both told you that you were drinking too much. This is what happens.”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Shut up.” She groaned and buried her head in Sean’s chest. “And don’t think this will stop me from asking you about Knox Taylor later, missy,” she said. Even though it was muffled, I heard it loud and clear.
I stood back up and ran my hand through my hair. “There’s not much to say, Megan,” I responded, knowing that wouldn’t change anything. She would still demand every detail.
She turned her head a fraction to look at me. “Whatever, you know me better than that. We’ll talk later.”
It was my turn to stick my tongue out at her, then I went to take my shower. I wanted to go explore more of the city and had hoped Megan would be up to coming along, but that obviously wasn’t the case. Going alone didn’t bother me, but it would have been more fun with her. As I pulled on my jeans, I contemplated texting Knox.
Whoa, what? No way.
I buttoned up my red blouse and blow-dried my hair, styling it in waves down my back. Adding some light-blue eyeliner, mascara, and a touch of pink lip-gloss, I grabbed my phone and stuffed it in my pocket, then walked out to tell them good-bye. I chuckled when I saw them still on the couch, Megan sound asleep with her head in Sean’s lap.
“Hey, I’m going to go do some sightseeing while I have the day off,” I whispered to Sean. He nodded and told me to have fun. I shut the door quietly and walked down the stairs instead of using the elevator to get outside.
As I started to walk aimlessly, I did my best to blend into the crowd, which wasn’t too hard. When I reached the subway station, I grabbed a map and plotted out my day. Of course, I wanted to see the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building, two sites I’d heard about my whole life, but hadn’t officially visited yet.
The excitement hit me as soon as I stepped off the stop for the Empire State Building, and I felt like a true tourist. As I walked up the stairs from the subway and onto the sidewalk, crowds of people were walking around, set on their destinations. When I finally arrived at the building, I stood in front of it and stared. It was awesome!
I went inside and stepped on the elevator, immediately pushing the UP button. I was going to the observation deck on the eighty-sixth floor, and I couldn’t wait to see all of Manhattan.
It seemed to take forever to get there, but finally the doors opened and I slowly walked out. It was crowded, but I made my way to the edge of the deck, and looked across the huge city I now lived in. So much had changed in the past few months—moving to New York was the one good thing…and meeting Megan, of course.
It suddenly felt like a hand was gripping my throat as thoughts of Drake hit. Sometimes it seemed like he was close, watching me. It worried me he hadn’t attempted to find me or talk to me, but I had the protective order on him and I’d changed my phone number. He didn’t know anyone in New York, and even if he did, he wouldn’t know I was there.
A few minutes later, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, which was a welcome reprieve from my dark thoughts. I took it out, then felt my heart skip a beat when I saw who it was.
KNOX
Lookin’ good
My eyebrows rose in confusion. Lookin’ good?
Uh, thanks?
How’s the view?
Okay now that’s just creepy. I looked around me, but didn’t see him anywhere.
Where are you?
You didn’t answer my question. From where I am the view is amazing.
I started to walk back toward the elevators, looking around for him. He had to be there; otherwise, he was really creeping me out.
Stop worrying, angel. Look to your right.
I whipped my head to the right and instantly saw him. There he was, leaning against a post, his signature grin on his face. He took my breath away in jeans, a white, button-down shirt, and aviators. I saw he had a small bag slung over his shoulder and wondered what it was.
When I looked back to his face, he was laughing at me.
Annoyed, I rolled my eyes at him, then turned away. I thought I could hear his faint laughter in the distance, but I didn’t stop to find out. I headed to the elevators, determined to continue my plans of sightseeing. Mr. Taylor could go…um, do things to himself.
Before I made it to the elevator door, a hand touched my shoulder and spun me around. I knocked chests with him, and his arms snaked around my waist. His sunglasses were now placed on top of his head as he leaned back to look at me.
“Hi,” he said, grinning at me. I squirmed, trying to get out of his hold, but he wouldn’t let me. “Uh-uh, you think I’m letting go after you just tried to leave without saying hi to me?” His eyes were bright, teasing me.
I started to panic in his tight hold, and I pushed on his chest. “Please, let me go.”
He took a step back, concern evident on his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you okay?”
Now that I was out of his embrace, my breathing evened out. I twisted the end of my shirt in my hands and looked at him. “I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry I frightened you, it wasn’t my intention.”
“I know, thank you,” I said, giving him a small smile to show him we were good.
He smiled back. “What are you doing here today?”
“I’m sightseeing. I haven’t been here yet. What are you doing here?”
He looked down for a minute, then back at me with a slight frown. “You’re by yourself?”
“Yep.”
“Why?”
I tilted my head, wondering what he was getting at. “Because Megan is extremely hung-over and I don’t know anyone else well enough to ask yet.”
He pushed himself off the wall and sauntered over to me. “What about me?”
I felt the heat travel through my body at how close he was. I took a few steps away from him, needing some space. I shrugged. “What about you?”
“You know what I mean. Why didn’t you ask me to come with you? Did you forget reason number three?”
I sighed. “No, I didn’t forget, but did you really think I’d reach out?”
His frown deepened as he ran a hand through his hair, making the waves more pronounced. “I guess not,” he said.
For the second time in twenty-four hours, I felt bad for behaving that way. I put my hand on his arm, which made him look at me. “I’m sorry. It’s just that we don’t really know each other that well yet.”
He sighed again. “I’m not trying to berate you for not calling. It’s just that I meant it when I said I wanted to show you around New York.”
“But why?” The question slipped out before I could stop it.
His eyes softened. “Have lunch with me.”
My head started spinning. “I don’t know.” He made me feel so many things, I couldn’t keep up. I had felt trapped when he wouldn’t release me from his hold, but I couldn’t deny my attraction to him either. My heart sped up every time he was near me.
“Lucy, come on. They have a cafe here…please, have lunch with me.”
Knowing there was no good reason not to, I gave in. “Fine,” I said, heading for the elevators. “What floor?”
He pushed the down button, shaking his head at me. “So so stubbor
n.”
I punched him in the arm, surprising him. He started to rub it. “Ow, that hurt. I think you need to kiss it better.”
My eyes widened in shock as the elevator doors opened. The people filed out and soon it was empty. Grabbing my hand, he pulled me into the elevator, smiling. “Honestly, Lucy, you are so fun to tease. But I really wouldn’t mind if you did kiss it better.”
I rolled my eyes as I folded my arms across my chest. “Not a chance.”
Laughing and shaking his head again, he stepped forward and pinned me with his gaze. “How soon she forgets.”
I squinted my eyes, wondering what the hell he was talking about. Before I could ask, he enlightened me.
“Challenge accepted.”
“Why do I put up with you?” I asked, turning away from him. I didn’t want him to see how much his challenge affected me. I suddenly felt as if I wanted to kiss it better, and that scared me more than anything.
He put a hand on my shoulder and turned me around. I refused to look at him, which he wouldn’t accept, so he put his finger under my chin and raised my head.
“Where did you go?” he asked.
My defenses went up. “Nowhere. Good lord, when will the elevator reach our floor?”
He stepped back and put his hands in his pocket. We reached our floor and the doors opened. A group of women were waiting to get on and their jaws dropped when they saw Knox.
“Oh my goodness!”
“Are you Knox Taylor?”
“You are so hot.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed my way through them. I heard Knox say hello to them, but too soon he’d caught up with me.
I was mad. Why are you mad? Shut up.
“Lucy…”
I kept walking. I was almost to the cafe, just a few more steps.
“Lucy,” he said again as he grasped my shoulders and spun me around.
“What are you doing?” I growled at him.
Discovering Lucy Page 5