Nell pushed Zing out of the way. “Zing, it’s okay. It didn’t really hurt. It just surprised me, that’s all.”
“Is she always so protective?” Dr. Dawn asked.
“That’s my job,” Zing said. “It’s what I do.”
“Oh, I see,” Dr. Dawn said. “You’re her bodyguard.”
“Zing, why don’t you sit back down? Let Dr. Dawn do her work?” Nell asked.
Zing asked, “You’re sure? Because I could knock her on her butt if you want.”
Nell chuckled. “That’s all right. It doesn’t really hurt. It just feels kind of strange.”
Zing backed up a few paces, leaving just enough room for Dr. Dawn to squeeze in. She plucked out another stitch. Nell squeaked, but refrained from shouting this time.
Zing leaned over the doctor’s shoulder and studied Nell’s ear. “You have really pretty ears.”
“She does have nice ears,” Dr. Dawn said. She pulled out another stitch. Nell didn’t flinch this time.
“Speaking of ears, Nell, do you like to have your ears tongued?” Zing asked.
“What?” Nell said, shocked.
“I was reading online in the Lesbian Love Life forum about ear tonguing,” Zing replied.
Dr. Dawn laughed. “Is she for real?”
“In a manner of speaking,” Nell answered.
“Right now I am,” Zing added. “You didn’t answer my question, Nell.”
“I, umm. . .” Nell started.
“How about you?” Dr. Dawn asked Zing. She plucked another stitch.
“I don’t know. I’ve never had a tongue in my ear,” Zing said.
“I don’t mind a bit of ear play, myself,” Dr. Dawn said. “I confessed. Now, how about you?” she asked Nell.
Zing noticed that Nell’s ears were turning red. Dr. Dawn must have noticed, too, because she took back the question by saying, “I’m teasing. You don’t have to answer that.”
Nell blushed even more. “No, it’s all right. I enjoy it, too.”
“So we have two likes and one undecided,” Dr. Dawn said. “Which means Nell and I have something in common. I wonder if we have any other things in common?”
“Well, you’ll never find out,” Zing said brusquely. “Not as long as I’m around.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dr. Dawn said. “I didn’t realize you were her bodyguard and her girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Nell said.
“I’m her guardian angel,” Zing said, crossing her arms over her chest.
Dr. Dawn looked puzzled. “Guardian of her heart?”
Nell hopped off the table, saying too-brightly, “So? Am I done then?”
“Yes. You’re all done,” Dr. Dawn, said putting her instruments down on the counter. She said, “I go to the Inner Circle bar for salsa dancing every Thursday night. Maybe you could stop by sometime.” She smiled at Nell.
Nell didn’t meet her eye.
“She doesn’t know how to salsa,” Zing said, handing Dr. Dawn Nell’s chart and opening the door for her.
“I could teach her. I’m a good teacher,” Dr. Dawn said. “Just think about it, Nell.” She exited the room.
Nell whirled on Zing. “What was that about?”
Zing lowered her eyes. “I think I was jealous, but I don’t know for sure. That feeling is new to me.”
“Why were you jealous?” Nell asked, gathering up her purse.
“Because I care for you and I don’t want you to get hurt.” That was true, of course. But what Zing didn’t say was that she couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else’s hands on Nell but her own.
Nell melted at Zing’s words. “That’s so sweet of you.” She threw her arms around Zing’s neck and hugged her close.
Zing sighed. The feel of Nell’s body pressing against her own made her mind go to sleep and other parts of her body wake up.
Nell pulled away and opened the door. “I promise you don’t have to worry about me and the doctor. I’m already taken, remember? I have Dove.”
Yeah, Zing remembered all right. And she wasn’t happy about it.
Chapter Nine
Mindy texted Zing the next morning. Miracle had given Zing her phone and bought herself a new one. Mindy had said that she’d sprained her ankle—one of the hazards of dog-walking. She asked if Zing would mind coming to her apartment and having coffee there instead.
“What should I do?” Zing asked Carol. She whispered because Nell was in the back packaging up a large order of Tiger cookies for the woman who led the local Girl Scout troop.
“Duh, text her back and tell her you’d love to,” Carol said, helping Zing pull out the empty trays from the donut case.
“But I’ve never been to a woman’s apartment.”
“So? There’s no time like the present,” Carol said.
“What will I say to her? I’m not good at playing DCI Jane Tennyson.”
“Oh no, now Miracle’s got you watching English murder mysteries?”
“Yes, I like them very bloody much. Miracle says when she’s happy she likes to watch shows about solving murders. When she’s unhappy she watches sad movies. I like the mysteries better.”
Carol perked up. “Miracle said she’s happy?”
“She sure did, and she hasn’t talked about Rita the Meter Maid since we took down the frame that held the first traffic ticket Rita ever gave her, and then we had a ceremonial fire in the backyard and burned it.”
“Wow. That is happy,” Carol said.
“Who’s happy?” Nell asked, coming out of the backroom holding two boxes of Tiger cookies.
“No one,” Carol said.
“Miracle,” Zing said.
Carol glared at Zing.
“Love is in the air,” Nell said in a sing-song voice.
Carol was saved further embarrassment by Mrs. Chandler who tapped on the bakery door. It was 11:15. The bakery was technically closed, but Mrs. Chandler had Tai Chi class until eleven.
“Oh, you are such a dear,” Mrs. Chandler said when Nell unlocked and opened the door for her. “The girls just love these. We’re going for a walking tour of the all the historical buildings downtown. That will, hopefully, wear off the sugar.”
“I’m sure it will,” Nell said.
Mrs. Chandler left with the two boxes of cookies. Carol had disappeared into the back room to load up the industrial sized dishwasher with the trays and other baking instruments. Zing wiped down the front counters.
“So, what’s on your agenda today, Zing?” Nell asked.
“I have no agenda,” Zing said. She hoped Nell couldn’t read her I-actually-do-have-an-agenda-but-I’m-not-telling-you-what-it-is face. “What are you doing today?”
“I’m going to go home, do some laundry, and take a nap. Dove’s in Oklahoma City today. She’s doing a signing at a bookstore. So, I won’t get to text her until tomorrow.”
“That’s too bad,” Zing said. She was secretly glad Dove was busy. That way she didn’t have to run interference between her and Nell today.
“Oh, I know we’ll get together soon. We’re both just so darn busy.”
Carol walked back in. “All right, ladies. Dishwasher’s ready to go. I think I’m going to hang around a bit and tidy some odds and ends,” Carol said. She looked at Zing and widened her eyes.
“Do you want me to stay and help?” Zing asked. She was getting much better at facial clues.
“That’d be great,” Carol said. “Now out the door with you,” she said, pulling on Nell’s arm.
“Alright, already. I can take a hint. Don’t work too hard or you’ll make me feel guilty for not helping.”
“I love to clean,” Zing said. She wasn’t lying either. At least she didn’t think she was. She loved to watch movies with cleaning montages. And cleaning things herself was just one step removed from that, right?
“Okay then, I’m off,” Nell said. “Laundry awaits.”
Nell was no sooner out the door than Carol said, “Hurry. Ge
t your stuff. Miracle’s meeting us in five minutes on the corner then we’ll all go to Mindy’s apartment.
“We’re all going to Mindy’s? I’m pretty sure when you go on a coffee date it involves only two people.”
“We’re not letting you interrogate her by yourself. We need answers and quick before Nell gets any deeper into this catfish thing.”
“It’s really scary what some people do to the unsuspecting.”
“Yeah, well, there’s plenty more out there to scare a person, believe you me,” Carol said.
“When I get back to HQ, I’m going to see whether we have a cyber-psychology department. The Internet is a very dangerous place,” Zing said emphatically. “We might have to start a whole new department of guardian angels just for the Internet.”
“You do that, but right now we need to meet Miracle.” Carol pulled Zing out the door.
***
Miracle drove them across town in her brand new Lesbaru Outback.
“There it is,” Carol said. She pointed to a sign that read Nottingham Place. It was an apartment complex made to look like Elizabethan times—decorative wood beams accenting the whitewashed exterior, lead paned windows with fake dormers, and what most certainly were fake chimneys running up the sides of each section of apartments.
“What an interesting place,” Zing said. “I haven’t seen this style of architecture in years.”
“It’s absurd looking. We’re not in England and this is the 21st century,” Carol said.
“I think it’s quaint. I have a Victorian house so what’s the difference?” Miracle said as she pulled the car into the visitor parking space.
“The difference is that your house is charming and this place is ugly,” Carol said.
“You’re just cranky because you’re nervous,” Miracle said.
“I’m not nervous,” Carol said. “Why would I be nervous?”
“Because Nell is your best friend and we might get some intelligence about our case that you’re not going to like,” Miracle said.
“This Mindy person, or whoever the hell she is, probably won’t know a damn thing,” Carol muttered. She compared the address on the business card to the numbers on the apartments. “Oh good, she lives on the third floor. I doubt the English-Wanna-be-Arms has an elevator.”
Zing looked up. “It must be very difficult carrying your furniture up all those stairs.”
“I’ll say,” Carol replied.
“Okay, no time like the present,” Miracle said. She opened her door and climbed out of the car.
Carol and Zing followed suit. Mindy lived in building A, in apartment four, so it was easy to find. “At least she’s in the first building,” Miracle said.
“Good thing. We wouldn’t want to get lost in some sort of Elizabethan time warp,” Carol said.
“Only you,” Miracle said. She shook her head and chuckled good-naturedly.
“Isn’t she going to think it’s weird that I brought other people on our date?” Zing asked.
“You’re weird so anything is possible,” Carol replied.
“She might not know I’m weird yet,” Zing said. “We barely talked.”
“Just act natural and tell her that you thought she might need some lively company to cheer her up,” Miracle said.
“Yeah, so we brought our lute and harp, and you’re going to recite some poetry and play the virginal just like in the days of good ole England,” Carol said.
“I think you’re disparaging Mindy’s apartment complex’s choice of architecture,” Zing said. “And that’s not very nice.”
Carol opened her mouth to say something, but Miracle looped her arm through Carol’s. This disrupted Carol’s thoughts—and even seemed to make her less cranky. Love is a wonderful thing, Zing thought.
Mindy’s apartment was four down from the staircase. Zing knocked. There was some clumping noise and a “Hold on, I’ll be right there.”
Mindy opened the door. She was leaning on a homemade crutch made of vacuum cleaner tubes. A dishtowel was duct-taped to the top, as padding. Zing thought it most ingenious and smiled approvingly.
Carol’s brow furrowed. “I can’t say I’ve seen that before.”
“Necessity is the mother of invention. Or is it the other way around?” Mindy said.
“You’ve definitely embraced your inner blond,” Carol replied.
“Shush,” Miracle said. “Play nice.”
“I didn’t know you were bringing friends. I’ll have to get out some more cookies,” Mindy said.
“Zing thought you might need some cheering up, so she brought us along,” Miracle said. “We’re very cheerful people.”
Carol hmmphed.
“Well, I’m cheerful,” Miracle amended.
“Please, come in,” Mindy said.
“I saw a medical supply store on the way here. I think I’ll go and get you a proper crutch,” Carol said, hanging back.
“We can get it later,” Miracle said, “After we talk to Mindy.”
“No, I think now is much better,” Carol said. She held out her palm. “I need your car keys.”
“Zing, you go on in. I’m going to talk to Carol for a minute,” Miracle said. She shut the door, leaving Zing inside the apartment with Mindy. There was a moment of strained silence, and then Zing said, “I think your homemade crutch is genius.”
“Thank you,” Mindy said. “Would you like to sit?”
Zing sat on the end of the sofa. The door opened and Miracle entered. Zing popped back up.
Miracle said, “Carol will be right back. She went to get a crutch. Isn’t she the sweetest thing?”
“Sweet’s not the word I was thinking of,” Zing said.
Mindy said, “I did manage to make coffee, and I always have cookies on hand. I’m a bit of a cookie fiend. I would’ve gotten some donuts because I know you like them, Zing, but then this happened.” She pointed to her ankle, which was wrapped up with an Ace bandage.
“Oh, that’s all right. I like cookies too,” Zing said. “Can I get the coffee for you?”
“That would be wonderful. I put a carafe on the kitchen table with cream and sugar. There’s a plate of assorted cookies there, too,” Mindy said. “I’m afraid that was all the hostessing I could manage.”
“No worries, honey, Zing and I will take care of everything. Let me put your foot up, that must hurt like the devil,” Miracle said. She put a pillow under Mindy’s foot and joined Zing in the kitchen.
“You’re so kind. But then Zing is so nice it only makes sense she would have nice friends. I’m glad you’ve come. Now I’ll have a crutch and a hostess. Zing, I promise when I’m up and running, I’ll take you out to lunch,” Mindy called out from the living room.
“I don’t think you should be running,” Zing called back.
Mindy laughed.
Zing whispered to Miracle, “Why did Carol leave? Don’t we need her?”
“She’s having a hard time with this whole thing. Getting the crutch is her way of dealing with it. Some people are like that. They want to do something tangible and then once it’s done, they can handle the rest of the crisis,” Miracle whispered back.
“Is everything all right in there?” Mindy called out.
“All under control. We’ll be right out,” Miracle said.
Zing carried the cookie tray. There were all sorts—chocolate chip, macaroons, sugar cookies, snickerdoodles, and peanut butter cookies with fork marks across the top. Mindy wasn’t lying when she said she liked cookies.
“You sure look like you’re thinking hard,” Mindy said.
Zing put the tray down on the coffee table. “I was just thinking that you have very good taste in cookies and maybe we could go places and eat cookies a lot when you’re up.” Then she added, “And running.”
“I’d like that,” Mindy said. She smiled warmly.
Miracle poured the coffee. Mindy took it black with three scoops of sugar. Zing figured that Mindy liked sugar as much as she did, bu
t the difference was that Mindy did not have a spare tire love handle. Must be all the dog walking, Zing thought.
There was a comfortable silence as they sipped coffee. Zing studied the cookie platter, trying to decide which cookie to have. It was a tough decision. She was almost ready to eeny-meeny-miney-mo it when Mindy asked, “Why don’t you try one of each?”
“Good idea,” Zing said.
Miracle and Mindy watched open-mouthed as Zing took a tiny bite of each kind of cookie then put it back on the tray.
Miracle came to the rescue. “You’re so funny, Zing.” She looked at Mindy. “She’s such a laugh riot. You never can tell what she’s going to do next.” Miracle loaded a small plate with all the bitten cookies and handed it to Zing.
Zing looked lovingly at her cookie plate. She remembered her spare tire love handle, but her resolve melted. This was a special occasion after all.
Miracle took a macaroon. Mindy loaded her plate up. They all munched noisily.
“What will happen to the dogs while you recover?” Zing asked.
“They won’t get their walk. I feel so bad. We were all just getting to know each other. Especially Fritz the Wiener dog. He took control and started making the other dogs behave and walk nicely. Little dogs are often like that. They take control,” Mindy said. She put an entire macaroon cookie in her mouth. “And he’s German,” she mumbled. “Germans always like to be in control.”
Zing thought a moment. She could eat all the cookies she wanted if she walked the dogs for Mindy. “Could I walk the dogs while your ankle heals? I like to eat cookies. I also like dogs.”
Mindy’s eye sparkled. “That’s a wonderful idea. I would pay you, of course.”
“You can’t do that,” Zing said.
“Why not? You’d be working for me.”
“I don’t have one of those blue cards with numbers on them. I work for donuts at the bakery, but Nell and Miracle buy me whatever I need.”
“You’re not from this country?” Mindy asked.
“You could say that,” Miracle said.
“So, you work under the table?” Mindy asked.
“Nope. I work above the tables mostly. And the cash register,” Zing said.
Big Love Page 11