“Oh my, you really had me going there,” Nell said. She chuckled.
Mindy looked helplessly around at the others. “Can one of you help me out here?”
Carol stepped in. David was twenty feet away and he looked more distraught and scared than they did. “That man…” she said pointing, “is responsible for this. He’s the real Dove Lance.”
Nell turned her unbelieving gaze to the man. “He’s Dove? He’s who I’ve been texting?”
Carol nodded. “I’m afraid so.”
“Omigod. I told that man all my. . . thoughts. Feelings?” She choked back a sob and whispered, “We had sext.”
David turned and ran. He almost made it back to his car before Tom stood up, raising himself to his full height of six foot five and plucked David up by his collar and flung him over his shoulder. Tom brought him over to them.
“Let me go!” David said, slapping Tom’s back.
Carol shook her head with disgust. “He would be a pansy.”
“Who is he? Why’d he do this to me?” Nell asked.
“He’ll explain everything,” Mindy said. She burst into tears. “I never should have agreed to this.” She took Nell’s hand. “Please forgive me.”
Tom dumped the coward in a heap at Nell’s feet. He stood behind him to ensure no further escapes.
Carol nudged David with her toe. “You’ve got some serious explaining to do, you scumbag.”
“Start talkin’,” Miracle told him.
Nell stared first at Mindy and then at David.
Mindy started first. “Nell, I let David use my picture to sell his books. I had no idea he would do anything like this, ever.” She glared at her brother-in-law. “And if it weren’t for my sister and her two little girls, I would tell her about his deception. But he’s promised not to do it ever again, isn’t that right, David?”
He nodded and stared at the grass, unable to meet Nell’s eye.
Carol got up and pulled at what was left of his hair, lifting his head. “Look at her, you heartless bastard.”
He looked at Nell and spoke softly, “I am so sorry. I didn’t do it out of cruelty. I am very fond of you and if I were a lesbian I would’ve gladly fallen in love with you. You’re a wonderful person and I meant to tell you but the lie kept getting bigger and bigger and then I didn’t know what to do.”
“So you’re pretending to be Dove Lance who was pretending to be Mindy and you. . . you tricked me into loving you?” Nell asked.
There was pain in David’s eyes when he looked at Nell.
Nell squeezed her temples between her palms. “This can’t be happening. It can’t. I trusted you with my whole life, all my hopes and fears, and you lied about all of it.” She burst into tears and got up. “I hate you Dove Lance, whoever the hell you are. I hate all of you,” she said, whirling on them. She ran off.
The group sat still, stunned into silence.
Mindy hit David with her crutch. “You ever, ever, do anything like this again and I will castrate you myself.” She looked at Carol, Miracle, and Zing. “I am so sorry, if I’d known… I’m sorry.” She hobbled off on her crutches.
Zing looked down at her sandwich and said morosely, “I knew we should have eaten our sandwiches first.”
“Let’s get out of here,” Carol said. “I can’t stand the sight of him.”
“Shall I throw him to the sharks?” Tom asked.
“No, but the pond will do,” Carol said. She looked over at Miracle.
“Fine by me,” Miracle said. She packed the food back into the basket while Zing folded up the blanket.
Tom dragged David, kicking and screaming, to the water. Tom picked David up and threw him into the middle of the pond. The ducks, thinking David might be a large morsel of food, went after him. They pecked at him and flogged him with their wings as he swam for shore.
“Well done, Tom,” Carol said, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
“Maybe you could share this picnic with your friends?” Miracle asked. She handed him the basket. “No need for all this to go to waste.”
Tom’s eyes lit up. “Really? You want to part with this generous bounty?”
“Yep. I think we all lost our appetites,” Miracle replied.
Chapter Eleven
“What are we going to do?” Zing asked.
It was the next morning and Zing and Carol were the only ones in the bakery. Nell hadn’t shown up for work. Carol had driven by Nell’s apartment, but she didn’t answer the door. Nell also wasn’t answering any of their pleading phone messages. Miracle had advised them to give her time to lick her wounds.
“Well, it looks like you’re going to learn to make donuts. Really fast,” Carol said. She handed Zing a white hat and apron. “Suit up.”
“You want me to bake?” Zing asked, astounded by this turn of events.
“I certainly can’t do it by myself. Thanks to your excellent sales skills we’ve got a lot more customers than before.”
Zing put on her hat and saluted Carol. “I won’t let you down, sir.”
Carol smiled at her. “I know you won’t.”
Zing basked in Carol’s smile. Making donuts and pastries turned out to be fun and Zing excelled at it. Perhaps it was like Miracle said. . . that when you loved something, it became your dharma, and doing your dharma made for a whole lot of happy.
“You have a natural talent for bakery work,” Carol said approvingly, pointing at the scones.
Zing smiled and put the batch of raspberry scones in the oven. She wiped her hands on her apron and her face grew serious. “Carol, how did you know when you fell in love with Miracle?”
“Who says I’m in love?” Carol asked. She was spreading thick, gooey icing over the cinnamon rolls.
Zing crossed her arms over her chest and squinted one eye at her.
Carol chuckled. “Oh, all right. It may have been love at first sight, but I refused to acknowledge it for a while. I can’t bring myself to get all mushy first thing. Besides, you have to make sure you can trust the person.” She stopped. “Of course, that doesn’t necessarily hold true—look at Nell.”
Zing placed the cinnamon rolls on a tray in preparation for taking them out front and putting them in the glass case. Then she checked the timer on the glazed donuts. “Do you think Nell is going to hate us forever? I mean, it’s really hard to be a person’s guardian angel when they hate you.”
“Or if you don’t believe in them,” Carol said.
“You believe me now, don’t you?”
“Maybe just a little. You’ve stuck by your story about being a guardian angel and I trust you. You’re a true friend, so I can’t really stop myself from believing.”
Out of nowhere, an enormous white feather gently fell past Carol’s face and floated to the floor. “What on earth was that?” Carol asked.
“It’s from Cathy, your guardian angel,” Zing said. She picked up the feather and handed it to Carol.
“I thought you said all that crap about harps and wings and haloes was propaganda. You said things weren’t like that back at HQ.”
“They’re not. But we’ve got a few props at our disposal. Feathers are one of them. It’s something humans can relate to.”
“So, all the times I’ve seen feathers, it’s really my guardian angel?”
“Not always. Sometimes it’s from a bird. But sometimes, when you get a great idea, or you narrowly escape a bad situation, and you see a feather? That’s us telling you that we’re nearby.”
“I see,” Carol said. She stroked the white feather. “This is a beautiful reminder.”
“Just don’t forget about her again,” Zing said.
“I won’t,” Carol promised.
Zing knew Cathy, Carol’s guardian angel, was doing a jig right now, flooded with happiness. Zing looked up toward the ceiling and winked.
***
Carol, Miracle, and Zing sat on the back deck of Miracle’s home, eating individual pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. The s
un was shining. The sky was a brilliant blue. The clouds were puffy. The flowers were blooming. They sat in comfy chairs with colorful cushions on them. But none of this seemed to matter. There was a dark, dreary gloom that had settled over the three women and they couldn’t seem to shake it.
“This is awful,” Miracle said.
“I can get you another kind,” Zing said. She was more than willing to run back inside and get Miracle another pint of ice cream. And she might even dust the living room after that. Or clean out the attic. It seemed the only way to stave off depression was to keep moving. She’d trimmed the roses for Clara’s friend Elizabeth, the neighbor with the beautiful garden who had helped her find Miracle’s house when she’d first arrived. Zing hadn’t forgotten that act of kindness. She had also helped Miracle plant tomatoes in the side yard where the sun shone the most. Zing wished she could be there to eat them when they were ripe. Miracle had said there was nothing better than a fresh tomato from your own garden.
Zing had never had a garden so Miracle helped her clear a spot so she could plant carrots. Miracle told her they grew a lot faster than tomatoes even though they both knew she wouldn’t be here long enough to eat them either.
“I didn’t mean the ice cream was awful,” Miracle said. “I meant Nell secluding herself like this. It’s been four days and she still won’t speak to any of us. She should at least be able to talk to Carol. Carol’s her best friend.”
“Not anymore.” Carol said, glumly scooping up a mouthful of Chunky Monkey.
“You’re still her friend. She’s not really mad at us. She’s mad at herself,” Miracle said. “Or at least I hope so.” She dug her spoon into her ice cream. Her brow furrowed.
“We didn’t do anything wrong, did we?” Zing asked. She looked forlornly down at her now empty pint of Cookie Dough ice cream. Doubt cast a pallor over them.
“We had to do it,” Carol said. “Didn’t we?”
“Of course we did,” Zing said. “David would have led Nell on as long as he could and then broken her heart. What if years went by? Her life would be wasted on a falsehood,” Zing said.
They turned to her and nodded solemnly. “Wisely put,” Miracle said.
“Our little angel is growing up,” Carol said.
Suddenly, Miracle hopped up and clapped her hands together. “I have an idea.”
***
“I’m telling you a Sapphic shaman is what we need,” Miracle said as she flipped through the Pink Pages.
“What is a Sapphic shaman exactly?” Zing asked.
“It’s a person who can cleanse another person of bad vibes. They erase the badness that surrounds them,” Miracle said. “Or something like that.”
“There are shamans specific to lesbians?” Carol asked.
“Why not? We have a department just for lesbian guardian angels,” Zing said.
“Okay, I’m game for anything. We can’t have Nell cutting herself off from everyone,” Carol said. “Including her guardian angel.”
“Here we go,” Miracle said, pointing at a big ad in the phone book. “Her name is Betty.”
“Betty, huh? I would’ve thought a shaman would have a name like Shining Fork, or Rock that Sings,” Carol said.
“Or Runs with Sporks,” Zing said.
Zing and Carol giggled. Miracle frowned at them.
“Sorry,” Zing said.
“Go ahead. Give Betty a call,” Carol said.
***
Betty was a sixty-ish woman, her silver hair tied up in a bun, with olive skin and green eyes that seemed to change colors depending on whom she was speaking to. She wore tan, organic cotton pants, sandals, and a loose white blouse. She emanated calmness and serenity.
The first thing she said when Zing opened the door was, “You’re not from this world.”
“No, I’m Nell’s guardian angel. And, I’m afraid I’ve done a poor job of it.”
Miracle stepped out from behind Zing. “We’ve all done a poor job of it.”
“Which is why you need my help,” Betty said.
“You got it,” Carol said, appearing behind Miracle. They were like a train of despair standing in the entryway.
“Well, if I’m allowed in we can discuss the matter,” Betty said.
“Oh, sorry,” Zing said, standing aside and gesturing for her to come in.
“Yes, yes, please do come in. I’ve put together a pot of green tea and gluten-free biscuits,” Miracle said.
“Many thanks,” Betty said. “Green tea is good for invigorating the body. You look like you need to be invigorated.”
They nodded in agreement.
Zing had tried the gluten-free biscuits. They were not exactly tasty. Evidently, the lack of gluten wrecked the taste of biscuits. Zing wished she’d brought a few donuts home. They might have gone better with the green tea stuff.
Miracle led them out on the back deck. They sat around the teak table with the tea and biscuit tray in the center. The teak gleamed. Zing had cleaned and polished it with beeswax. She’d swept and hosed off the deck and all the outdoor furniture.
“My, what a lovely garden you have,” Betty said. “It’s overflowing with love.”
“I think that might have to do with having a guardian angel working in my garden,” Miracle said. As she poured the tea, Miracle filled Betty in on what had happened with Nell. “And it’s been four days since we heard from her,” Miracle said.
“Do you think you can help Nell?” Carol asked.
“Perhaps,” Betty said.
“Perhaps? One hundred and fifty dollars is a lot of money for a ‘perhaps,’” Carol said.
Miracle gently touched Carol’s arm. “We have to try, honey. The longer we wait to get through to Nell, the harder it’ll get.”
“Miracle is correct. If I don’t perform a soul cleansing soon, it may no longer be possible.” Betty dunked her gluten-free biscuit in her tea and popped the soggy mess into her mouth.
“What happens if she has a dirty soul?” Zing asked. She dunked her biscuit in her tea, too.
“It corrodes, and Nell becomes a husk of her former self, her ability to love and find the beauty in things will be lost,” Betty said.
“Sounds like my ex,” Carol muttered.
“It sounds horrible,” Zing said. She sat her tea cup down with the biscuit floating in it. She couldn’t stand the thought of Nell becoming a husk.
“Oh, it does sound horrible,” Miracle said, wringing her hands.
Carol took hold of Miracle’s hands and kissed them. “We’ll get through this. How can we fail? We’ve got a Sapphic shaman and a guardian angel.”
Right then a giant white feather fell from the breezeless sky. It drifted past Betty’s surprised face and floated into Carol’s lap. Carol picked up the feather and smiled. “You know, I’m starting to believe in all this stuff.”
“Honey, I knew you’d eventually get in touch with your inner Carol who accepts the nature of the powerful unseen,” Miracle said.
“This doesn’t mean you’ll get me into any of those touchy-feely couple’s retreat things,” Carol said, wagging her finger playfully at Miracle.
“I’d never dream of it,” Miracle said. She poured out the rest of the tea.
“I’ll make us more tea,” Zing said. She got up. She anticipated a brainstorming session and she was never good at things like that. Her brain didn’t storm well. Once in the kitchen, she put the kettle on to boil. She reached for the tea bags and ran smack into Annabelle. “Geez, you scared the bejeebers out of me.”
“Sorry,” Annabelle said. “But I came to warn you.”
“About what?”
“Big Bertha’s watching you. Closely.”
“Why?”
“Because. . .” Annabelle whispered. “She’s onto you. She knows how you feel about Nell.”
Zing stiffened. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’re a horrible liar,” Annabelle said. “It’s obvious to everybody that you’r
e in love with Nell.”
Zing sighed. She turned to Annabelle, and with tears glistening in her eyes, said, “I love her so much. I don’t know what to do.”
“You know it’s against the rules, Zing. We are forbidden to fall in love with our humans.”
“I couldn’t help it,” Zing said. “The heart does what the heart wants to do. It won’t listen to my mind. My heart has a mind of its own.”
Annabelle laughed despite herself. “I thought you’d say something like that.”
“What am I supposed to do, Annabelle? I can’t tell Nell I love her. What if she fell in love with me?” Zing asked. “Then I’d have to go back to HQ and won’t that just hurt her all over again?”
Carol walked into the kitchen and gasped. Annabelle quickly disappeared.
“What was that?” Carol asked.
“That was Annabelle,” Zing responded. “And you weren’t supposed to see her.”
“But I did. She was beautiful,” Carol said.
“You can’t tell anyone you saw her or she’ll get in trouble,” Zing said.
Carol was still stunned. “Do all of you look like that?”
“Yes, in our ethereal form,” Zing said.
“Oh.” Carol was silent for a full minute. Finally, she said, “What did she want?”
“Nothing much,” Zing lied. “She just popped by to say hello.” At that moment, the tea kettle whistled, saving her from any further conversation.
***
The women, including Betty, stood in the parking lot of Nell’s apartment building. She lived in a three story brick building. It was old and had ornate facades and limestone window ledges.
“What now?” Carol asked.
“We’ve got to get her to open the door for starters,” Miracle said.
“I’ve already knocked several times. She won’t answer the door. And the only reason she even speaks to me is to tell me to go away so I won’t knock anymore. At least I know she’s still breathing—even though Nell’s not the kind of person who would hurt herself,” Carol said. She cleared her throat.
Miracle took her hand. “She’s not. We’ve just got to make her see sense.”
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