by Faulks, Kim
I stabbed the button on the phone as my tears fell. “I love you too.”
And in my mind I saw her stare at the phone for the space of a heartbeat.
Cookies would cool on the bench.
Bed’s would be left unmade as my wife grabbed our daughter and made for her car. Under the seat there was a bag with clothes and money…every cent we had.
They’d run.
They’d leave me behind.
It was what we agreed on.
The only thing I could do.
Save them… The need shuddered my conscience and split my soul. I reached over, speared my hand through the zipper and delved into the pocket and dragged the USB free.
Adam…
My future was all tied up into one tiny little device.
Tears slipped free, leaving slick trails behind. I sucked in hard breaths and then wiped my eyes. Jess and Emily-Sue were on their own. I couldn’t think about them now. Put them in a tiny box and shelve them away. Compartmentalize…not a life, not a heart…just pieces, tiny fractured pieces.
Pieces I had to keep locked away. So I could stay in control.
I swallowed, cleared my throat and turned the car along familiar streets. My fingers worked my shirt, rolled down the sleeve and secured the buttons.
There were creases left behind. But they’d never look that close.
Not today.
The city streets smoothed out as I left Orphic behind. Sunlight bounced off the towering buildings behind me. On any other day I hated the sight. I hated the drive. I hated what they forced me to become.
The corner of my mouth twitched, the faint tug pulled higher. Mask in place, that’s all this place was, right? A mask…a lie. There was a valley in my chest. A valley so wide it swallowed me whole. And the ache that welled inside it carried me forward.
Until I left the city far behind.
Shiny new skyscrapers, built to reflect the sun’s fare slipped away to be replaced by a sea of green.
Jess would be long gone, punching down the highway, following the route we mapped…until she pulled over to swap the license plates. And then she was on her own. She’d never tell me where she was, never call me again.
We had no secrets between us.
Not even now.
I slowed the car at the turn off, signaled for the appropriate distance before I turned. The two foot fence surrounded the complex. Trees hid the buildings from outsiders. The grounds were patrolled by highly trained marines, trained to kill first, so no questions could be asked later.
I tapped the brakes and slowed at the guard hut. Every day for the last five years I came here. There was no days off, no weekends, no holidays with this line of work. I lifted my gaze to the guard as he strode forward with a scowl on his face.
“Hey Jacob, just the usual. Pretty quiet today?” I winced at the tremor in my voice and watched as he lifted the scanner.
“ID.”
I reached for my card and handed it over. There was a buzz and then a beep before he handed the card back. “You’re right to enter, Doctor.”
I gave a nod as my heart crawled into my throat, and shoved the car into gear. A few hours. A few hours and it’ll all be done. Just gotta get through this.
I strangled the steering wheel and followed the driveway, up and over, and then around, until the grey brick buildings peeked from the trees.
Every day for five years I’d driven this road, and it wasn’t until today I actually saw it. Saw the way the beast of a place hunkered like a predator with east and west wings for muscled arms and the board offices for shoulders.
But no matter how hard you looked, you’d never see the true purpose…oh no, it wasn’t up here in the sunlight and perfect, fresh air.
It was burrowed underneath—like a secret—like a lie.
I shot past the manicured gardens with their perfect flowers and towering trees. This whole place was designed with only one thing in mind—disarm the parents. Their slippery tongues worked magic, look at how safe your children will be in our care. We’ll treat them like they are our own.
Only the best will be provided for your child from our highly skilled team.
Isn’t that right Doctor Bishop?
I flinched from the memory, pulled the car into the carpark and killed the engine. The car ticked as it cooled, and I thought of five seven six three.
Was this the same ticking inside her head? Like a cooling, or a count down? I snatched my briefcase from the seat and shouldered open the door.
Thoughts of the ticking lingered. Whatever it was it made little impact on their abilities. I grasped the fob from the front pocket of my bag and neared the outer door.
Red light turned green, releasing the locks. The handle slipped in my grip as I pulled. But I kept silent. I kept moving, not looking up at the cameras, not drawing attention to myself.
Today was just like any other day.
Where I held the future of our world in my hands.
The door gave a buzz and then locked behind me. I passed another guard, and the scanner. Briefcase up, x-rays showing black and white on the screen as they passed along the conveyor belt and out the other side.
“Big day today, huh, Doc?”
I glanced up at Bernie and stepped through the detectors. He was softer than the others, more human. But being human would only get you hurt…or worse in this place. “Just a normal one, Bernie. You have yourself a good day now.”
I grabbed the handles of the case and heaved it free, and then headed for the elevator. Not one glance, not one twitch…they were watching.
The elevator doors opened and I stepped inside. I kept my focus straight ahead, pressed my fob to the reader and then punched the button.
One tiny jerk, and then a shudder and we were dropping, down past the ground floor to level one, and then lower…all the way to where the only lights were the ones they gave us.
My heart gave a shudder as the elevator slowed and then stopped with a jolt. Steel shimmered as the doors slid open. Cries greeted me as I stepped out and into the hallway.
Desperate cries. Cries that bounced and hit, tearing you limb from limb until you were sure you were bleeding…until I was sure I was bleeding.
The parents never toured down here. Oh no, they were guided through the rooms and the living quarters upstairs where the sunlight steamed through open windows, and if you listened…if you craned your head you could hear the birds in the trees chirping and calling.
The parents stayed upstairs where the playroom was filled to overflowing with activities, and where children’s drawings were put on display.
Some parents never cared.
Some dropped them off at the driveway.
One even dropped their daughter off at the guard hut and sent me to collect her.
I remembered her, number six two seven three. She was a tiny little thing, cowered like a beaten animal when I neared. Took me three hours of just sitting there, talking about the other kids inside before she crawled out from under the terrified guard’s desk…and another three to extinguish the fires.
Lightning strikes had lit up the sky around her. Some so violent they left scorch marks in the earth. I lifted my gaze to the long white sterile hallway. She was in there somewhere, along with five seven six three.
I turned right at the end of the hallway. Pressed the buzzer on the outer door and waited. Steel grills covered the entrance. Smoke detectors, were patched in to a state of the art temperature system equipped to distinguish any fire, and prevent any flood.
Everything about this part of the building was reinforced, rebuilt, tested time and time again. I lifted my head to the burn marks along the wall, and then to the cracks, wide enough I could push my fist inside. Tree roots speared through the opening and spread along the entrance like a network of veins.
The girls grew restless, some of them angry, the longer we kept them here. Five years was a long time to be caged like an animal, and yet that’s exactly what we were doing
. Testing, watching, finding a way they could be used…and controlled.
The thud of heavy boots resounded, and then stilled. A buzzer cut through the air as wide, panic-filled eyes stared back at me through the peephole.
The door opened and Gerald stepped out. “You need to hurry. They’ve been waiting.”
Let them fucking wait. The words were right on the tip of my tongue, still I forced a wince and then a hurried gait as I passed.
I clenched my fist to still the tremble as the board room door opened.
“Chris,” Nicoli Straub muttered and gave a nod.
I glanced past him through the open door to the packed seats around the table.
They were all here for the big day…the day we’d break…the day we’d torture.
“Nicoli,” I greeted the head of security and stepped inside.
Johnathan Harper lifted his gaze from the head of the table. Self-serving, vicious sonovafuckingbitch. “Johnathan,” I murmured. “It’s good to see you.”
“Here he is…the man of the hour.” Johnathan rose from his seat, a shit-eating grin stretched wide.
Smiles echoed from the men and woman around the table as Johnathan took a step and headed toward me. My body acted on instinct, reaching out, taking his hand in mine as though this were any other day.
I gave a nod to the others, strangers I’d never seen before—and probably never would see again.
“Five years,” Johnathan muttered and pumped my grip. “Five long years, you’ve done us proud…that is if you brought the programming.” One brow shot high as his smile stretched wider.
Like a mute, I stared at his lips moving and then finally gave a nod. “Yes, of course I did.”
Johnathan turned his head to the others. “He’s so overwhelmed. Such a massive accomplishment. I knew as soon as I saw him I knew he was the man for the job.”
Stars sparkled in his eyes as he waited…like they all waited.
And with a jolt I realized—they were waiting for me. I dropped his hand, and lifted my briefcase. Two tiny little devices held the fate of the world.
Johnathan’s eyes shone brighter as I dragged my hand free and placed the USB’s in his palm. He never once looked at the Adam stick, never cared at all.
Eve held his focus. Eve held his fate.
There was a slow exhale, and then he lifted his head.
The device was more precious than any diamond, more perfect than any ounce of gold. It was about to build weapons like the world had never seen.
And I’d just handed over the code.
“Stephanie,” Johnathan never took his eyes off the prize.
There was movement, chairs scraped, heels clacked against the floor. She was at his side in an instant. The Commander of Covert Operations with the United States military stared at the drive in his hand and then lifted her gaze to meet his.
Electricity thrummed in the air as he murmured, “Give the command, Commander. Give the command and it’s done.”
A shudder raced through her body as she whispered. “Go ahead. I’m sanctioning this to be carried out.”
He leaned closer, grabbed her by the waist and kissed her hard in front of us. I flinched with the display, but no one else seemed to care.
Johnathan broke away, and stared into her eyes as he gave the orders. “Nicoli, alert the others.”
The room erupted into a flurry of movement as Johnathan lifted the Eve device and the head of security grabbed it from his fingers.
But it wasn’t so easy, Johnathan’s grip tightened at the last second. He turned his head, staring into Nicoli’s gaze. “This is worth more than your life, remember that.”
The head of security gave a hard nod, and then he was gone, taking five long years of my life’s work. The room seemed to empty around me as Johnathan handed the Adam USB to another commander.
But there was no ticker tape parade with that one.
There was no excitement, no electricity.
And as the last of those inside the board room slipped away I turned. My footsteps were heavy, mirroring the slow thick thud of my heart. Screams erupted along the halls, echoing and blending into one another. Little girls kicked and thrashed. There was a flash of light, a male scream…followed by a deafening boom before the pfft of a tranquilizer gun.
Most were sedated; only the good girls were left.
The ones who showed no sign of violence.
But as with any cornered animal, they’d learn soon enough.
In this place, violence was the only thing respected.
And the only thing feared.
I followed the hallway leaving the Eve wing behind and made my way toward the Adam.
There was a different energy now. A growing, a changing. We stood on the precipice of something transformational, something a psychologist could only ever dream.
And I could never tell another soul—even if I wanted to.
Doors opened further down the hall. The cries were different here. Adams snarled and fought. But they weren’t like the girls. The were too close to being human. Little fist pounded against barrel chests as the officers moved in.
“No, don’t you touch me! I want my Mom! I WANT MY MOM!”
I closed myself off to their screams and waited. One by one they filled the main room. There were hundreds. Little bodies pushed into the chairs. Muffled threats came from the male nurses. Guards, nurses, officers…they were all the same.
No one cared about comfort. No one thought about kindness.
Safety was the utmost concern.
Only it wasn’t the child’s safety they cared about.
Against the far wall a screen came down. My stomach tightened, twisting and turning as I watched thorough the glass.
Footsteps echoed behind me as the room in front of me was thrown into darkness.
“I thought you’d be with the Eve’s watching your life’s work unfold.”
I didn’t need to turn my head to know who it was. Johnathan Harper was everywhere you didn’t want him to be, and nowhere when you needed him.
“I thought I’d see the easy one first.” Dull words…a liar’s words.
“Fair enough,” he murmured. “I suppose you’ve got plenty of time, we’ll run the sequence for three weeks, and then reassess.”
I gave a nod as my stomach twisted into knots.
“I’m sure you’ve got plenty of time now that your wife is out of town. A sudden illness was it?”
I stiffened, heart smashed against the confines of my chest.
“Your Aunt Martha, that is.”
I gave a nod and forced the words. “Yes, very sudden.”
I waited for the words, for him to say he had them, for any indication that they weren’t already lying in a lagoon somewhere face down.
“She’s a good driver your wife. Not at all what we expected.”
I closed my eyes as through the glazed glass the neuro-linguistic programming filled the room. Flashes pierced my closed lids.
But it was Johnathan’s last words I held onto before he turned and strode away.
Tears threatened to fall. My knees shuddered and shook. I reached out, splayed my hand against the glass and tried to stay upright.
My Jess was a good driver.
A fast driver.
For she carried my entire world in the backseat of our car.
Chapter One
Oleander
Deadhorse, Alaska 2005
The diner smelled like old men. Like festered stuff crusted in beards, and dirty pits…unwashed, and unclean. Still my belly twisted and turned in hunger, clawing the inside of my spine…do bellies have claws? The thought stuck like chewed gum on my shoe…and once it was there…once it whispered inside my head, the thought wedged tight. Maybe that’s where it lived…the monster.
Maybe it’s warning me. It’ll kill me if I didn’t give it food.
Thoughts burned and twisted, making me shift on the seat.
Sharp edges dug into the backs of my leg
s, scratching, and biting—hurting me like the bad thoughts hurt me.
The waitress cleared her throat. She looked like an old man with long silver hair pulled back from her face. I shifted as she glared at me.
Three times she’d come to my table.
And she was coming again. I could just see it…see it in her beady, black eyes. She smashed her lips together and looked through the window into the parking lot. Dust kicked up with the blur of a car.
I gripped the plastic menu with its folded ears and sharp creases and stared at the words.
Words I couldn’t understand.
My fingers worked the edges…flip…flop…flip…flop.
She cleared her throat as outside the dust settled and revealed a truck.
Shoulda already ordered. Shoulda shoved the food in my mouth and been ready to run. The menu buckled. Fingers clenched, twisting the plastic and the writing. I slowly rocked, and swallowed a moan.
The beast inside me was alive. Claws like a bear. Teeth like a wolf.
But this one never slept.
This one was hungry all the time.
It couldn’t survive out here.
Couldn’t survive on our own.
You’ll be fine, Oleander. I’ll come back for you…I promise.
He’d come back for me. That’s what he said. I turned my head as the man and the girl climbed out of the truck—he’d come back.
The waitress gave a snarl, and then threw the white dish towel over one shoulder. Voices spilled from outside, forcing the girl’s high-pitched moan through the door before they pushed inside.
I stared at the table. Stared at anything but them. I tried not to lift my head. Tried not to look. But her voice...it almost sounded like mine.
“Pick a table, pumpkin, and we’ll have a look okay?”
“But Daddy…” She muttered, and then gave a huff.
The ache moved from my belly. It pierced my insides with talons and climbed into my chest. The girl spun in a circle, skirt flared wide with her long pants underneath.
Stupid. She looked stupid.
Didn’t she know pink and blue didn’t go together?
Didn’t know anything at all. Stupid girl with her stupid dad, and her stupid life.