by Faulks, Kim
A touch against my hand, soft, gentle as he lowered his head. Are you listening to me?
I looked up to his smile…a man I knew.
The doctor…the nice doctor.
He reached out to touch my hair. You’re special, Oleander…so very special. You’ll be okay, honey. You stay strong now.
Chapter Twelve
Oleander
They came again. The pain. The sting…the floating.
Over and over, demanding what I couldn’t give them…
What I would never give them.
Footsteps neared, echoing dull inside my head. I unfurled my fingers and turned my arm…waiting now.
A new need bloomed, slipping in silently between the third or the fourth time. And this burning hunger pushed the beast down, smothering her with savage lust…just a sting…just a rush.
I’d lost count now, lost everything to the numb and the screams.
The squeak of a wheel drew a whimper from my lips…and their words followed. Give me what I want. Show me, Oleander. Show me what you can do.
I screamed when the burn came, moving to the inside of my thighs. I screamed and screamed, until there was nothing but a jagged hoarse sound.
Fire welled in the back of my throat and punched into my chest. I wanted out of here, out of this body and out of this place.
And when the pain ended, then came the hunger, roaring through my veins, making me whimper, making me turn my arm…desperate.
The sting. The rush.
I closed my eyes and stood in an office, one I knew…one I’d sat in many times. Dr. Chris Bishop, said the plaque on his desk. I traced the shiny timber and munched on a biscuit while he sat on a stool that was far too small for him.
Do your parents hurt you? Do they take care of you?
I shook my head and chewed on the biscuit in my hand. He liked me, called me his special girl…his special…something. I couldn’t remember the word…but I remembered him.
I always remembered him, here in this office and in that place.
Where the cold wrapped around me. Where there were no more biscuits to eat. There was only pain. And in the space of a breath I was stolen from this office and taken there—to that place—the place of my nightmares.
Straps tight against my wrist, sinking fangs deep. Things stuck to my head.
I kicked and screamed when they took me. I fought with tiny fists punching, bare feet kicking as they wrenched me from my mother’s arms and dragged me along the hall.
Oleander! A woman screamed…the thunder of her heels on the hard floor behind me.
Mommy! Mommy! Please don’t let them take me. I’ll be a good girl! The words trapped in the back of my throat. I’ll be a good girl!
Hey! The doctor roared. I thrashed in their arms, yanking my hands from their hold and arching my spine.
He was a blur racing toward us. The doctor who called me special. The doctor who liked me.
He grabbed their hands, eyes blazing and lips curled as he glanced toward me and then their hands. He yanked on the fingers that strangled my arms. But they never stopped, only clenched me harder, dragging me all the way through the doors until I couldn’t see Mommy anymore.
She was gone. Gone with an unseen punch to my chest. Gone under the sheen of tears that slipped down my cheeks. They pulled the straps tight, snapping them in place.
And that sound echoed, blending past with the present.
I floated now…
Floated all the way to the ceiling. Up here I could see forever…
Purple Hair…
I lifted my head at the sound of his voice. A shadow in the corner of my eye. Silver light shone in his eye…like a star trapped within him.
I turned my head and the shadow blurred. “I can’t hold on,” I whispered to nothing “…I can’t hold on anymore.”
I’m coming…hold on baby, I’m coming.
“Hey! Wake up!”
I jerked, and jolted. Slap. Fire on my cheek, the taste of blood in my mouth. Slap. The sound came once more.
“Who the fuck is he, Purple?”
A roar crammed my ears. I cracked open my eyes and stared at the murky darkness hovering on the ceiling. I wanted to be up there, wanted to be free.
The squeal would come and pain would follow. I flinched as Maddox wrenched back his hand, but I couldn’t fight, and I couldn’t move.
Even if I wanted to.
The lash was brutal, snapping my head to the side as it hit my cheek once more.
“Who the fuck is he, Purple? Who the fuck is soldier boy?”
I whimpered and turned my head. Lips parted but there was no sound.
I’m coming, Purple Hair, a voice whispered inside my head, sounding faint. Hold on, I’m almost there.
“I’m going to enjoy killing him.” Maddox leaned close, hot breath against my ear. His hand cupped my breast. “I’m going to enjoy killing him very much.”
He pushed off my chest and then turned. I wanted to scream, wanted to lash out, rage welled inside me like a tornado. Maddox reached for the tray and lifted the needle.
Blood smeared across the plastic. The steel buckled at the end where he drove it hard. I closed my eyes. He always drove it hard now.
Always.
The sting. The burn. Unseen fangs savaging now, slicing open my veins. I drew my arm close and turned my head.
“You’re not getting out of here, Purple, and I might even kill soldier boy in front of you. How does that sound?” He gripped my chin and yanked, wrenching my gaze toward him. Cold dark eyes bore into mine as he whispered, “Splatter his brains all over this pretty face of yours.”
I stared at him. Stared and stared until he was all I saw. I was hollow now. Hollow and cold, unfeeling, unfathomable…unable to be saved.
He shoved my head, and then turned. The echo of his boots lingered, cracking through my head just like they did along the hall outside my room.
I turned my head to the shadows and the murky yellow. Day. That was day. Sun, the warm sun.
I closed my eyes to that blazing image, feeling the warmth bite and sting inside me. Hands trembled and legs jerked. I wanted to float, to sink away. But I was trapped here, trapped inside this body—trapped inside this room.
Tears crested the bridge of my nose and slipped away.
Sixth, his name slipped into my head. Maddox would kill him.
Maddox would kill everyone.
They wanted. They wanted what they should never have. Hunger filled me, cold, infernal hunger far below. They hunger like the beast hungered. Both wanting what the other had to give.
One wanted to see.
And the other wanted to show them.
She wanted to show all of them.
A rage-filled scream drifted to the surface of my mind. She’d tear me apart…she’d tear all of them apart and leave nothing behind.
Bloated faces.
Bloody eyes.
Death…just one touch, and there’d be death. All around me.
It was who I was.
I closed my eyes, desperate to slip away. Hold on, his voice drifted like a leaf on the wind until it was caught by darkness, swallowing and slipping, until I finally fell.
The screech of tires woke me. I cracked open my eyes and felt the roar of pain along my back. Footsteps thundering. Voices screaming. The flare of lights, bright in the hallway. I blinked, and then blinked again as outside gunfire crackled.
Hold on Oleander! That voice burned through my mind, shuddering me with the vibration. Hold on!
A gunning engine, squealing tires. Headlights cut through the window, flooding the room. I winced at the glare as the thunderous crash invaded from outside.
Outside was filled with screams and gunfire, and the sound carried all the way along the hallway. My heart pounded, trembling my chest. I could feel him, feel his power…feel all their power…heat…darkness…and light.
A star trapped inside his body.
A star that was him…
A crack followed, again and again…and that sound carried from a memory…from a moment that came to me—the heat of the desert, the taste of gunpowder in my mouth, mingling with the copper taste of blood…
Not my memory…it was his…this Marine…this man.
The crack came once more, and the firing of a semi-automatic, slower now…only one gun left…one gun that fell silent.
And under that the heavy thud of boots coming closer…
Don’t see me…not like this…please don’t see—
Heart pounding now, drowning out everything I ever knew.
He came for me…just like he said he would.
I turned my head, dark silhouettes sharpening, flames in a palm…shadows swallowing another, and in the middle, slowing to stop beside my bed…the man with a star-filled eye.
“Hello, Purple Hair,” he murmured. “I’m finally here.”
I flinched when he lifted his hand, fingers trembling. He took one look at the bed, and the straps around my ankles, and then the ones around my wrists.
One slight movement and a knife was in his hand, slicing, cutting…releasing. Pain roared as the heat washed through my feet and my fingers. I closed my eyes as hands slipped under me. I swallowed a whimper.
“Hold onto me,” he breathed against my ear. “Hold onto me, Oleander. You’re safe now.”
The bed moaned, releasing my weight. Air fluttered the strands of my hair.
“Tex,” he growled and behind us, the bed was engulfed in flames, starving flames that swallowed cotton and metal. Greedy orange tongues licked the air and reached toward the ceiling before the room was gone.
Blood splattered the walls. I looked down to see Maddox slumped into the corner, eyes open with a vacant stare. I knew that stare…I knew it well.
“I got you,” Sixth murmured, his hard body rocking underneath me. My head rolled back smacking hard against his shoulder. “We’ve all got you.”
Darkness blurred at my side. The male beside us was here in one second, and gone in the next. Flames reached out from the room where they’d kept me as Sixth carried me through a door and out into the open.
A car was ablaze, smashed into the side of a tree. Bodies littered the grass. I stared at their faces, desperate to see one. “Pryor,” I whispered. “Not here.”
Sixth turned his head to find my gaze. “He was gone before we got here.”
Gone, but not gone…he’ll be back…the words were trapped inside my head as darkness reached upwards, and closed a fist around my mind.
Fragments captured me…the burning wreck of the car.
Another car, growling…roaring. Hands holding me, fingers brushing my hair. Desperate words, cramming my ears.
We need to find some place to stay, some place to care for her. Can’t run, not like this…Jesus, what did they do to her. What the fuck did they do…
Fingers against the crook of my arm, fire burning, searing along my veins. I tried to open my eyes, tried to lift my hand.
“What is it, Purple Hair?” Dark eyes moved closer…I was seized by the sight.
Fingers danced as I tried harder, desperation flooding through me. I curled my finger…and then dropped my hand. My palm hit my chest…almost. Cold slipped against my fingers…harsh teeth biting my skin. “Key,” I whispered. “The key.”
He pushed against me as the car downshifted. Harsh light overhead made me wince. The male beside me reached up and held out his hand over the interior light of the car. Darkness leaked out between his fingers, only a little, just enough to soften the glare.
“That better, beautiful?” he murmured as Sixth unclasped the necklace and slipped the key from around my neck.
I tried to nod, tried to whisper as he leaned close. The soft light caught the hard line of his strong jaw and dark haunting eyes.
“There’s an address on this, is that what you’re trying to tell us, Purple?”
Think you can betray me like that Purple? Think you can play me like a goddamn fool…pain roared back with Maddox’s words. I’m going to hurt you Purple, gonna hurt you more than you’ve ever been hurt before…
The words nothing more than a hiss, carving an ache from the memory of those words. “Oleander, my name…is Oleander.”
“This address, is it safe?” Sixth spoke softly.
Maddox’s vacant eyes filled my mind as I nodded. Safe. Voices filled the car as we turned and then turned again. The darkness reached for me, stealing me away from them.
I wanted to hold on, to wrap myself inside their arms. The car slowed, and then stopped. Car doors opened and then closed softly. Hushed voices filled my ears. I was lifted, carried once more. The groan of a door, and then we were inside.
Lights flicked on as Sixth carried me through the doorway and along the hall. Bright lights flared overhead before the bulb was surrounded by a soft, dark mist.
Boots rang against the wooden floor, bed springs groaned under my weight. Soft pillows under my head, soft all around me. My body quaked, gnashing my teeth as the savage need rose.
I turned my wrist, desperate for the sting of the needle. Sixth lowered his gaze and then stiffened.
“I need,” I murmured.
Arid lips split, the sting instant. But it wasn’t the sting I wanted. It wasn’t the sting I needed and as that thought filled my head…came the darkness…and the rage.
Filling me…tearing me apart from the inside.
“I need…” Desperation roared, bouncing against the walls of this room. “I need!
Chapter Thirteen
Sixth
“Please…” she whispered, eyes glinting with desperation as she held out her arm.
My stomach rolled at the sight. Festered, bloody and raw, and still she would stick that filthy needle back in there. Still she’d do anything for one more hit.
“I’ll run her a bath,” Tex murmured behind me and turned away.
Even Shadow turned away. But I wouldn’t. I took a step closer and sank down to the floor on my knees. “They did this to you, but it’s okay. We’re going to help you. We’re going to help you get better.”
Anger flared in her eyes, cracked lips smeared blood over her white teeth as she hissed. “I don’t want to get better. I wanted to be free. Be free…” She closed her eyes and laid her head against the pillow. “Free of this place…free of this body. Free of the beast.”
Water roared in the bathroom, splashing against the bottom of a tub. Her nails clawed, fingers fisting against the sheets as a moan ripped from her lips. She curled her body, dragging her knees high.
“Detox is gonna be a bitch man, you sure you’re up to this?” Shadow glanced down to her and then lifted his gaze to me.
“Yeah,” I answered. “For her I’d do anything.”
He bent and grabbed a bucket from the floor as her moans grew louder. “Good to know. Best make a choice, Ese, hold her, or hold the bucket?”
I grabbed the damn thing as she lunged toward the side of the bed. The savage sounds of retching filled the room. I gripped the bucket, holding it steady as a thin stream of green acid spilled from her mouth.
“It’s okay, beautiful,” Shadow murmured as he held her.
Her trembling hands found purchase in his. Fingers entwined, holding on as she whimpered. The roar of water in the bathroom fell silent as she lunged forward once more.
I captured her hair, holding it out of the way as she heaved and bucked, and as her body betrayed her, expelling every ounce of liquid she had in her stomach, I felt something fragile inside me crack.
I’d been the savior, been the protector—been the one standing in the middle of a rifle’s aim, and I’d done it all with this sense of justice steeling my spine like a brace.
But in this moment while I listened to her retch and cry I wanted to be the d
arkness…I wanted to be the pain. I wanted revenge…I wanted it all.
Shadow lifted his head as Tex stepped into the room. I knew then, knew we shared a connection deeper than any oath or any bond.
The need to protect her shared an edge with the dark desire for retribution. It was one we’d walk together. Oleander lifted her other hand toward Tex.
He moved fast, closing in to grasp her fingers as she lifted her head. Spittle shone against her lips, and sweat stuck strands of purple hair against her pasty skin.
But I’d never seen anyone more beautiful, more perfect, raw…and honest…or more powerful.
“Help me,” she whimpered. “Please help me.”
I knelt in front of her, and placed the bucket on the ground. I’d give her everything…my strength, my power…my life. She lowered her head and rested against my shoulder. In this moment we were all connected…
There was a hiss of breath, a sigh that echoed from one to another.
We’d waited our entire lives for this.
I sucked in a breath and something deep inside settled, like I’d finally found the place I could call home…
Our North Star…
I reached up, catching strands of purple hair between my fingers. Power rushed, trembling outwards, like a network of veins that ran through each of us. And in this moment—nothing mattered. Not the past…not the future.
There was only this…
A whimper tore from her lips and the connection dulled. She dropped her hands from the others, and lifted her head from my shoulder.
Her stomach bowed as she lunged, scrambling for the bucket. Tex was there, holding her against him, letting her take all the strength she needed.
“I’m going to take the Mustang, park it somewhere and find us a new ride.” Shadow glanced at Oleander and then met my gaze. “We’re gonna need to lay low for a bit, until she’s through the worst of it.”
Tex leaned on the bed, digging into his pocket and drawing the keys free. “You want some company?”
Shadow shook his head and grabbed the keys from his hand. He glanced at her once more and then turned for the door.