“I ain’t going back on it!”
“Not yet. But don’t ye see? Just going back up on that moun- tain’s breaking your word. Ye go back and the truth will end right here.”
“How ye figure that?” he said, eyes hot.
“Well, now, think about it some. Don’t ye reckon it was God opened the way for ye to come down here to me in the first place? He led Cadi into that cave so she’d find the pictures telling of the blackest sin that’s held this valley in darkness all these years. Why do ye think he did that?”
He looked away from her piercing stare. “We can’t do anything now.”
“Oh yes ye can! Ye’ve already started doing the Lord’s work. And ye’ll keep right on with it!”
Fagan turned, agitated. “We’ve got to wait awhile! Pa’s too riled. Ma says he ain’t thinking straight. Ye can see what he did to me. What d’ya think’ll happen to Cadi if she stands with me against him? One blow and she’d be dead.”
“Maybe, but that don’t matter.”
I gulped, staying well out of it. I was hoping Fagan would win in this battle of wills and yet feared Miz Elda’s words and reason would sway him.
“How can ye say that, Granny? Ye love her as much as I do.”
My mouth fell open as I looked at him. He loved me? He loved me?
“Listen to yer granny now, boy. Yer thinking’s askewed. Ye ain’t alone anymore, are ye? It ain’t ye against yer pa now, is it? If God can raise Jesus, don’t ye think he can look after ye and Cadi, too? Ain’t he already looked after ye? Ye two have been chosen to be his witnesses, and this is the day the Lord made. Not tomorrow or the day after. Not next week or next month or next year. Now!”
Fagan was pale. “Maybe you’re right, but Pa wouldn’t give us time enough to tell more than a few.”
I was learning to recognize when it was God speaking through someone. He repeats himself. He says it over and over because we’re so stubborn and stupid and unwilling. And scared. Even when he tells us not to be afraid, we set our mind about it, worrying and fretting about every little thing. I was shaken by what God expected us to do.
“Cadi could tell her folks and Iwan,” Miz Elda said. She probably thought that would be easy, but I reckoned telling those I loved most about the Lord would be the hardest of all, especially considering they’d most likely thought I’d been bad enough to be cast into hell. How were they going to understand the goodness and love of God from the likes of me? And if they refused to listen, what then? It’d feel like I failed ’em again and sent ’em straight to hell. Because they’d know the truth and have no excuses.
“We’ve already told Bletsung and Ma.” Clearly Fagan was thinking about it, just like I feared. I thought he’d give a bigger fight against Miz Elda’s proclamation. But no. He heard the Holy Spirit in what she said, and he was going forward no matter the cost to either of us.
And seeing how he said he loved me, I knew I’d follow him to the death, if need be.
“One by one, we’ll tell ’em,” Miz Elda said. “I can start with Gervase Odara today. She’s due to bring me some more medicine.”
I sighed. “I wish there was a way to get ’em all together in one spot so’s we could tell ’em all at once.”
Miz Elda gave a soft gasp of surprise. “Why, of course!” She looked at me, her eyes bright. “Out of the mouths of babes.” She laughed.
“What?” I wondered what trouble I’d brought on myself now.
“We can get ’em all together in one spot.” A broad grin filled her face, and her eyes were lit with excitement.
“Where?”
“Why, right here, child!”
“How?” Fagan said.
She chortled. “That’s the easiest part. All ye have to do is fetch the bell from my trunk and ring it eighty-five times.”
“But they’ll think ye’ve died!” I protested.
“She’s right, Granny,” Fagan said grimly, and then his eyes lit up as well. “Yes, they will. They’ll think ye’re dead!”
“Aye, and they’ll come, won’t they? Every last one of ’em in our valley. They’ll lay down whatever they’re doing and come right on up here to pay their last respects and lay me out for burial.” She laughed again, enjoying the thought.
“Even my father,” Fagan said slowly.
“Oh yes, him, too. Probably sooner than some others. He’s been waiting a mighty long time for me to pass on. I’ll bet it’s been the one prayer he’s said in all these years. And won’t he be surprised!”
We never even thought about Sim Gillivray.
Or the trouble he might bring.
T W E N T Y - T W O
My brother, Iwan, was the first to come at the ringing of the bell, Gervase Odara following soon afterward. Uncle Robert came on horseback with Aunt Winnie riding behind him. The Connors, Humes, Byrneses, Sayres, Trents, and MacNamaras hurried up to Miz Elda’s cabin. Soon to follow them was Pen Densham with his son Pete, whose broken leg still hadn’t yet mended. The O’Sheas arrived, Jillian holding her new baby to her breast, and Aunt Cora and Uncle Deemis and their young’uns, who were tearing about the place like foxes after the chickens.
Sad to say, no one was too happy when they saw Miz Elda sitting hale and hearty on the front porch in her rocking chair. They was plumb mad about it. Not that it was anything against her. She was respected in our valley, if for no other reason than she’d lasted longest. They just didn’t like being interrupted from whatever they’d been doing for no cause at all. So they thought, at least; so within minutes of arriving, they all started in shouting questions at Fagan, who was ringing that bell for the whole world to hear.
“What in Hades is going on here?”
“Why’re ye ringing the bell with the old woman sitting there in her rocker like always?”
“Your pa’s going to skin your hide, boy, calling us out for nothing! And dang if I won’t help him do it!”
“What’re ye calling us up here for?”
“’Cause I told him to, that’s why!” Miz Elda hollered at ’em. “Ye think we’d be ringing the bell if it weren’t a matter of life and death? Now, hold yer peace and wait! When everyone’s gathered we’ll tell you what’s going on in this here valley!” She was enjoying herself. “I’d think ye’d be pleased to know I’m still breathing. Fact is, I ain’t felt better in my entire life.”
Brogan Kai came with his two older sons. When he saw it was Fagan ringing the bell, his face got all red and tight. I thought he’d come charging up, but he didn’t. He kept his distance, asking others in a low voice what was going on. But his eyes, oh, his eyes were so black with rage and hate, I knew something terrible was going to happen, if not now, then later in the day or tomorrow or whenever he could get his hands on us.
“Where’s Fia?” Miz Elda asked my pa when he come alone.
“In bed. Ailing.”
I didn’t think much about it then because she had been ailing off and on ever since Elen died.
“Well, then, Angor, ye’ll be taking the news home to her, I expect.”
“Yes, ma’am, whatever the news be.” He glanced at me in question. I could see he thought I’d done some terrible sin, something worse than they already thought I’d done. It made me sad my own father thought so little of me. But then, I hadn’t given him much reason to think better.
The last two to arrive were Bletsung Macleod and Iona Kai. Everyone went quiet when Fagan spotted them. He stopped ringing the bell for a few seconds, and people turned around to see why he was staring so. He started ringing the bell again as they came up the hill path together, each with a bouquet of flowers. Iona was so pale, she looked like death. She looked at Brogan Kai and paused. Everything about her pleaded for his understanding, but he just stared back at her, lip curling in a sneer. He spit on the ground by her feet, right there in front of everyone. Bletsung reached out and took her hand, drawing her away.
They kept on walking toward Miz Elda’s cabin. People moved back for them as they ca
me up to the cabin and then closed in behind, whispering.
Miz Elda watched them come. The laughter had died in her when she saw Iona. She went all still and quiet. I saw her hands shake as she clasped them in her lap and knew she was reining in her emotions. So I moved closer, putting my hand on her shoulder. She was trembling all over, so filled up with feelings at seeing her daughter come to her after eighteen long years. But what sort of feelings were they? And what would she say after so much hurt?
I thought of my own mother and how I longed for her to forgive me, and I prayed. I prayed hard.
Iona Kai stopped at the foot of the steps. She stood for a long moment beside Bletsung Macleod, her head down. Bletsung leaned close and whispered something to her, and then let go of her hand and moved back a step. Iona Kai slowly raised her head. When her mouth jerked, she pressed her lips together tightly and stood silent of a moment.
“It’s nice to see ye well, Mama,” she said finally, her voice thick with emotion. She looked at her mother, and in her face was a question, unspoken but clear. And all about her, people watched and waited to see what the old woman would do, the old woman who had the well-known reputation of being hard and unforgiving.
Miz Elda sat silent for a full minute, and I knew it wasn’t for lack of words to say but for being unable to say them. “I never dared hope to see ye again in this lifetime,” she said finally. And then she smiled and opened her arms. “Welcome home, darlin’.”
Iona flew up the steps. Dropping to her knees, she put her head in her mother’s lap and wept. Miz Elda wept, too, all the while stroking her daughter’s hair gently and looking out at the others. Her eyes fixed upon Brogan Kai. He glared back at her, a muscle jerking in his cheek. There was hate in his look, a black pit of it.
“Ye can stop ringing the bell, lad,” Miz Elda said. “We’re all gathered together now, except for those who canna come. It’s high time for ye to do yer talking.”
Looking out at all the people, I had strong feelings of doubt about what was coming. They was not in the best of spirits for hearing anything, let alone something so different from what they believed. What one of them would listen to Fagan, a lad in rebellion against his father, or tome, reputed to have killedmy own sister? I was plumb shy and hung back, hiding behind Miz Elda.
Fagan took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and walked to the front steps. He stood there, looking at his father first, then round at all the rest. “I’ve got good news to tell ye!” he called out in a strong voice. “News that will bring ye tidings of great joy!”
“Shut your mouth and stand down, boy!” Brogan shouted.
Fagan stayed where he was, undaunted, and spoke the word of the Lord. It flowed out of him, straight, clear, ringing louder than the bell, just like the man by the river had told us. Fagan told the who, the what, the when, the where, the how, and the why of it all in simple words any child could understand. For we had, hadn’t we? Surely they would, too. Oh, surely the goodness and mercy of God would speak to them. . . .
It was all said and done before Brogan Kai reached the space before the front steps of the cabin.
“You’re crazy!” he shouted up at us. “You’ve gone out of your mind just like I warned ye would if ye listened to the madman. He was filled with lies and clean out of his mind!”
Fagan looked at him. “Is that why ye killed him, Pa?”
There was a collective gasp, and people turned to stare at the Kai.
He faced them, shoulders back, head high. “Aye, I killed him! And I’d do it again! I did it for all of us. It’s my duty to protect our valley. Look at the damage that man done in even the short time I let him alone. What right did he have, a stranger, to come up here from God knows where, spilling out lies and turning our own children against us? I should’ve killed him sooner!”
“God made us witnesses,” Fagan said loudly. “He’s chosen us to be his servants so that we’ll know him and believe him and understand he exists.”
“You ain’t telling us anything we don’t already know for ourselves, boy,” someone shouted, taking Brogan’s side.
“Hear the word of the Lord!” Miz Elda called out in a strong voice.
“Everything around us testifies to the glory of God,” Fagan said. “Even the stars above us show his handiwork. God made the world and all things therein, seeing as how he is Lord of heaven and earth. He’s the giver of life and breath. It’s in him we live and move and have our being. Forasmuch as we’re his children, we oughtn’t think that we can be saved by a man’s devices.”
“He’s speaking against the sin eater!” Brogan Kai shouted. “That’s what he’s doing. Don’t ye see? All these years, we’ve trusted in him, knowing from centuries past that we’ve needed a sin eater to make us ready to meet God. And ye stand here listening to him?”
“Our salvation depends upon God’s only begotten Son, Jesus Christ!” Fagan shouted.
“He’s a boy. What does he know?”
“This is the truth! It’s Jesus who was nailed on the cross. It’s Jesus who shed his blood to atone for our sins. It’s in Jesus we must believe, for he is the resurrection and the life!”
The Kai’s face was feral as he glared up at Fagan. “Ye’re a fool!” He turned and spoke to the others. “Don’t listen to him! He’s been poisoned by lies.”
“I’m telling the truth and you know it. That’s why ye’re so set against it. Before Christ there was no other, and neither shall there be after him. He is the Lord and there’s no Savior except Jesus!”
“Who here will risk going before God with his sins still upon ye?” Brogan asked. “Will you, Angor Forbes? What about you, John Hume? Or you, Hiram Sayre? Who wants to be the first to die and not have the sin eater come? Who wants to be first to burn in hell forever?”
They looked afraid, confused, like sheep without a shepherd. Brogan came through them and stood before the cabin. It was as though he wanted to put himself between them and Christ, blocking their way to the safety of the fold.
“You’re dead in your sins,” Fagan said into the terrified silence. “And dead ye will remain if ye put your hope in a sin eater! Only God can take away your sins, and Jesus is the Christ, the Anointed One, the Lamb of God.”
“Lies! All lies!”
“Listen to the boy, people!” Miz Elda said. “For our clan is destroyed for lack of knowledge!”
“God dinna send his Son into the world to condemn us! He sent him that we might be saved. Believe on him who died for you. Whoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life,” Fagan continued.
“He’s saying our ways are evil!”
Fagan came down the steps and faced his father. “Those who do not believe are condemned already. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and you love darkness because of your evil deeds!”
Brogan hit Fagan hard, and he fell to the ground.
“Brogan!” Iona cried out. “Don’t!”
“Don’t? I should’ve taken care of this long ago. And don’t open your mouth again, woman!” he warned her with deadly calm. “Ye’ve spoiled the boy, and this is the result of it.”
There was a stirring in me, a rush of fire in my blood. I came around Miz Elda’s chair and stood at the front steps. “It’s not the work of any man that makes us presentable to God! Jesus is the one who took our sins and nailed them to the cross! It’s been done. It is finished!”
“Ye’d like that, now, wouldn’t ye?” Brogan seemed to have forgotten Fagan, seeing me as his enemy now. “You who pushed your own sister into the river and watched her drown!”
The attack was like a spear through my heart. I looked at my father and saw he was ashamed. His face reddened in anger—but it was an anger roused by the telling of family sins in a public place.
“I didn’t push her,” I said with a calm past my understanding. “Elen came across the tree bridge and fell into the river.”
“You little liar!” Brogan said. “Everyone kno
ws you did it. Everyone’s talked about it ever since. Everyone knew how ye were jealous of her.”
“Aye, ’tis true I was jealous. ’Tis true I sometimes wished she’d never been born.” I saw Brogan Kai’s eyes light with triumph and satisfaction, but I didn’t hesitate. “And that day when I saw her coming across to find me in my special place, I wished she’d fall. But I dinna push her. And I have mourned the passing of my sister ever since.”
Papa just stood there staring at me, saying nothing. When he lowered his head, I reckoned he thought the worst of me still.
It was my brother, Iwan, who stepped forward. He looked back at Brogan Kai and then up at me on Elda Kendric’s porch. “I believe ye, Cadi. And I believe what Fagan’s telling us is the truth.”
“So do I,” Cluny Byrnes said and pressed forward from behind her parents. She smiled across at Iwan, eyes radiant.
The Kai’s look was malevolent and mocking. “No doubt ye both would. Two who’d like to be forgiven for what they done in secret. Tell ’em, Cleet. Tell ’em all how ye seen Iwan Forbes and Cluny Byrnes tangled together up in the woods. Go on and tell ’em all what these two been doing behind her father’s back.”
With a sneer, Fagan’s brother came forward and did just that in gleeful detail. Cluny tried to run away, but her father grabbed her and swung her around. Grasping her arms, he shook her. “Is it true?”
“It weren’t the way Cleet’s saying,” Iwan shouted, but when he tried to move, Pa grabbed him and held him back.
“You harlot,” Cluny’s father said, shaking her. “Shaming me before everyone.”
“Let her go! I love her. I want to marry her!”
“And ye think that makes it right?” Brogan said.
“Pa! We dinna mean it to happen.” Cluny was crying. “I swear!”
“We all sin!” Miz Elda stood. “We all fall short of the glory of God. These two have confessed and repented, and they are forgiven.”
“No, they ain’t!” Brogan shouted. “Not unless her father says so, and they’ll still carry that sin on ’em until the day they die! That’s why we need the sin eater.”
The Last Sin Eater Page 27