Carl had gone all out and had overhauled the old wooden sled his daughters had used many years ago. At first, Volker was rather skeptical, but when his grandfather had taken him on his first trip around the house, he never wanted to separate from his sled again. After much yelling, his parents relented and put the sled beside his bed, where he could see and touch it.
Emma had collected all of their ration cards as soon as they’d arrived and gone shopping. The extra food rations given to all “true” Germans for Christmas had been a blessing, and on the 25th of December, Emma made a mouth-watering festive roast with baked potatoes and lard.
The entire home smelled of food and for once everyone forgot about the hardships of the war. Hilde helped her step-mother in the kitchen and watched with surprise as Emma took the finished roast and cut it in half. She carefully wrapped one portion together with baked potatoes and placed it into a brown paper package. In the end, she placed some cookies into a storage container and placed it on top of the meal.
“Hilde, would you like to take a walk with me?”
Curious as to what Emma was up to, she nodded and dressed Volker in his hat and coat before settling him into the pram. Emma placed the food package under the blanket at Volker’s feet, and they took off for a walk.
They walked for quite a while before Emma veered them off the road to a small house. The shutters hung from their hinges, the windows broken and scantily replaced with wooden planks, the formerly nice gardens a picture of devastation. No smoke curled out of the chimney. The house had definitely seen better times, and according to the shameful state it was in, Hilde seriously doubted that anyone still lived there.
Images of the past stormed her head, and Hilde suddenly remembered. A Jewish family with three girls around the ages of Julia and Sophie had lived here for years. She swallowed back the picture of the neat and tidy girls playing in the garden while their mother lovingly attended to the vegetables and flowers.
“Are they still living here?” she whispered.
Emma gave her a meaningful look and a nod. “Yes.” Then she took a quick glance around and disappeared with the package to the back door. Hilde heard a quick rapping on the door and Hilde felt a new level of admiration for her step-mother. Her own mother would never do anything selflessly without expecting something in exchange.
Several moments later, Emma hurried back to join Hilde and the baby. They returned home and had almost reached their street when Hilde asked, “Does father know?”
Emma nodded. “There’s not much we can do, just tiny bits here and there.” She paused and turned to look at Hilde. “I’ve come to the realization that this war is not good for our country.”
“You are a good woman. I wish I had realized this twenty years ago. Mother.”
Emma’s eyes watered as she hugged Hilde tight. “This is the first time you called me ‘Mother.’”
“I know,” was all Hilde could whisper before she broke out in tears as well and the two women clung to each other until Volker made it known that he was tired of their walk.
Back at home, they found Sophie playing the flute while Carl and Q were absorbed in a political discussion about the consequences of this war.
When they entered Carl’s study, his dark eyes flickered as he said, “To hell with all the home front talk. Goebbels can keep hammering the same idea into the minds of everyone. I don’t buy any of it.”
Q imitated Goebbels’s voice and recited, “Everyone has to do their share to support the soldiers at the front.”
Hilde laughed softly, “You could do the voice over for the propaganda movies.”
Q shook his head and made a face at her. “Funny.”
During the next days, Hilde learned just how much Emma cared for her family. Like most housewives who had the means, she’d been growing vegetables in a small garden behind their house.
She must have worked hard during the summer because the cellar was fully stocked with homegrown carrots, potatoes, onions, and a variety of other vegetables she had preserved in simple ways.
There were still winter vegetables out on the patches, including several heads of cabbage. From that, she had made her famous Sauerkraut by chopping up the vegetable and letting it stand in vinegar for at least fourteen days.
One day, Emma produced a special treat for the family from her secret storage. She made pancakes and topped them with homemade strawberry jam Julia had sent from the farm. With a shortage of sugar and sweets, the simple pancakes with jam were like heaven.
Every other day Emma would take a walk, hiding a brown bag with food beneath her coat.
Chapter 27
Q, Hilde, and Volker returned to Berlin in the first days of 1941 on a train ride fraught with adventure. Getting tickets had been difficult. With the absence of private vehicles and the increased rationing of petrol, the trains were overcrowded.
After the holidays, everyone needed to get back to work and even though private “leisure travel” was frowned upon, nobody had let Nazi ideology or war keep him or her from visiting far away relatives.
Q stored the pram together with their suitcases in the baggage coach and then followed Hilde and Volker to their wagon. They found a place crowded with several other people in a compartment. Q wasn’t entirely happy. The continuous air raids over the capital and Hamburg were a constant threat, and he feared the train would be forced to stop.
To be safe, he’d taken a bag with enough food and drink for a day inside the train and crammed it onto his lap. He looked at Hilde, who looked beautiful and relaxed with sleepy white-blond Volker on her lap and her new flaming red shawl around her shoulders. A hidden worry nagged at him.
“How are we going to carry Volker if we have to rush from the train?” he asked her.
Hilde smiled. “Why should we have to rush?”
“If the air sirens go off and–”
“Q, there haven’t been air raids in days. Why should the Allies start today?”
“Maybe because nobody expects it? Or because they’re back from Christmas holidays just like we are?”
“You’re overthinking this,” she said, kissing the top of her son’s head.
“Maybe I am.” Reluctantly, he kept silent for a while, but then he looked at her again. “I’d really feel better if we were prepared. Just in case.”
She sighed dramatically. “Since when are you such a pessimist?”
“Please.”
“Fine. What do you want me to do? Tie him onto my back?”
It wasn’t such a bad idea, but looking at her bright red shawl, he thought of a better one. “We’ll use your shawl.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes, stand up.” He apologized to the other passengers and moved Hilde around, strapping little Volker to Hilde’s chest. He wrapped her shawl around her body twice in a crisscross fashion before tying it in the back. Volker seemed to enjoy it, and Q grinned. “That will do. Now you won’t have to hold him in your arms if we have to run.”
Under the amused glances of the other passengers Hilde sat back down, trying to find a comfortable position. Not more than half an hour later, the abhorred sound of the air raid sirens screamed their warning. The train stopped, and the passengers were ordered to rush into a nearby forest to take refuge.
After three such interruptions, Q and his family finally arrived safely in Berlin, much later than they expected.
***
Several weeks after their return to Berlin, Q, Erhard, and Martin had another of their weekly meetings. Martin had become a very enthusiastic member of their small sabotage group and wanted to include even more people in their resistance effort.
“That’s not a wise idea,” Erhard replied with a shake of his head.
“But we could do so much more–”
Q jumped in. “Involving more people can only result in damage to our cause. And not just the cause, but to us and everyone involved. If we do too much, we’ll attract suspicion.”
Martin opened hi
s mouth to argue his case, but Erhard cut him off, “Look, between the three of us, we have the entire production process under control. We don’t need more people on the inside.”
Martin finally nodded, and they moved on to other topics, including if and how they would keep contact with other resistance groups. After a heated discussion, they decided that only Erhard would connect with other groups while Q kept in touch directly with Moscow via the Russian agent.
“And what’s my task?” Martin asked, disappointed like an eager schoolboy.
“You have our back in case something happens,” Erhard said, but Martin didn’t seem convinced. “Look, you’re in the Party–”
Martin blushed. “I know, but I only joined because everyone did and it helped me to get promoted.”
Erhard looked at him. “I’m not judging you, Martin, not at all.”
“I will resign from the Party. I’ll do it today,” Martin said, agitated.
Q’s jaw dropped. “That’s a bad idea. Very bad.”
Erhard nodded in agreement. “I concur with Q. People would start getting suspicious if you resigned from the Party right now. It would draw too much speculation on you, your family, and this company.”
Martin’s shoulders slumped, and he was a picture of misery.
Q sympathized with him. “Wait, being in the Party is a good disguise. You have access to Party meetings and can hear about things we never will. In fact, your task is to stay on friendly terms with the shop steward and keep an eye out for any signs that someone might suspect we’re not working in the best interest of our Führer.”
Martin beamed like a lightbulb with the assignment of this important task.
After he left, Q took Erhard aside and asked, “Aren’t you afraid Martin might be too enthusiastic and give us away.”
“No, on the contrary. I believe he understands our point and his new task will serve us well, you’ll see.”
Apart from sabotaging the war production and copying all of the classified technical documents to distribute them to their contacts, they’d started to prepare for the time after Hitler.
“We just have to open their eyes to how ridiculous and megalomaniac the war and Hitler actually are, then the German people will rise up in a revolution,” Q said.
“Yes, but how can we make the leading managers of the company doubt the government without exposing ourselves?”
“I don’t know yet, but we’ll find a way. Have I told you about that satirical Christmas leaflet my father-in-law found at his workplace?”
Erhard chuckled. “Yes, it actually was quite funny.”
“So there are like-minded people who won’t keep quiet anymore. Not that I think leaflets are enough to overthrow Hitler, but they are a start to make people think – and doubt.”
***
A week later, Q was sitting at his desk, deep in concentration. He was copying top-secret material to make a blueprint for a serial production of radio equipment somewhere else when Martin walked into the laboratory.
Q looked up and frowned at him. Martin of all persons should know he didn’t appreciate interruptions when he was deep in thought. But instead of retreating, the intolerable fool stepped forward, not paying attention to where his feet walked. He tripped, spilling a full mug of ersatz coffee all over the papers in front of Q.
Q jumped up, opening his mouth to angrily reprimand the young man when he became aware of the two Luftwaffe officials, two men in Gestapo uniforms, and the shop steward right behind Martin.
He swallowed hard and busied himself with removing the sodden papers and wiping up his workspace while the shop steward shot Martin a sharp glance. “Can’t you take better care, Stuhrmann?”
Martin made his best effort to look contrite. “I’m so sorry.” But the shop steward had already gestured for him to shut up and addressed the officials, “Meine Herren, please rest assured that no liquid is allowed in the production hall. Our workers have to go to the break room for any refreshments. Unfortunately, scientists insist they get special treatment.”
The Luftwaffe major seemed to be in a good mood because he only nodded. “Yes. Yes. Now let’s continue with our inspection.”
The shop steward clicked heels and said, “Major Schmid, please follow me to where we produce the state-of-the-art radio equipment for our armed forces. Our head of production, Martin Stuhrmann, will answer all your questions.”
Q glanced at Martin and nodded a silent thank you before the group crossed the laboratory and walked through the door to the production hall. Q returned to his work with trembling hands.
That evening, when Q headed home, he was still shaking from the encounter.
Dinner was cold – again.
Chapter 28
“I’m sorry, my love. I couldn’t get enough coal to heat the oven in the kitchen. The little I got I used to heat the living room,” Hilde said.
“I don’t care.”
She looked at him and frowned. “What’s wrong with you, my love? Did you have a bad day?”
Q merely nodded. “I’ll tell you when the baby is asleep.”
Two hours later, they sat together on the couch and she snuggled up to him while he told her everything that had happened.
“It sounds like Martin proved himself today, if you still had any doubts about him.”
He kept quiet for a while, stroking her arm. “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”
“You need to stay strong and continue. I’m afraid all the time, and there will always be times when we want to give in to our fear, but I know you – you need to stand up for what you believe in.”
“But at what cost?” Q asked her.
“What if everyone just gave in? There would never be an end to this. Our country needs people like you.”
His voice was tired when he answered, “I’m not sure our country is worth the effort anymore.”
Hilde ran her hand through his curls. “Then do it for our son. For his future, so he can grow up in a country worth living. Be a good role model for him.”
Q turned his head and kissed her. “I admire you. You are so strong, and you make me want to be a better man. You’re the best life companion I could ever have wished for.” They kissed again, and he promised, “One day, when this war is over, we’ll enjoy our lives again. Just like during our honeymoon. Only better.”
Hilde snuggled close in his arms. “I hope that day comes sooner rather than later.”
She heard the air raid sirens in the distance, just like almost every night. Both of them held their breath, ready to get Volker from his crib and rush into the cellar of the building that served as a bomb shelter, but the sirens faded away.
Hilde sighed. “I’m so thankful we moved out here. If we still lived in the center, we’d have to spend almost every night in the shelter.”
“Yes, it was a good decision, for several reasons. There’s not much out here worth bombing, only lakes and greens.”
“Yes.” Hilde shivered in his arms, and he asked, “Are you cold, Liebling?”
“No, I believe I haven’t told you. Last week when Volker and I visited your mother, we passed in front of our old apartment building.” Her voice broke. “It was bombed out and completely uninhabitable. Oh my God! Will this nightmare ever end?”
***
The next day, Q went back to work with a fresh sense of purpose and renewed courage. They’d just received a huge order to deliver a new and enhanced portable transmitter to the Wehrmacht by June.
The urgency in the date of delivery made Q wonder which country Hitler wanted to attack next. He and Erhard discussed the possibilities, and as the list of countries not already under Nazi control wasn’t very long, they came to the conclusion it must be England.
Just how to warn them? They didn’t have contacts within the English government.
Q sighed in desperation, and instead, they worked on a plan to delay production of the portable transmitters. Q got right to work and accidentally destroye
d an important tool needed to make the prototype. Unfortunately, it was the only one Loewe had, and he walked into the director’s office, head bowed and shoulders dropped.
Shifting from one foot to another, he started his apology. “Sir, I’m so sorry, but when I tested the radio frequencies of the prototype for the Wehrmacht, our measuring device blew up.”
The director scolded him about his imprudence and raised his voice loud enough to attract Erhard Tohmfor into his office. “Sir, is there a problem?”
When Erhard became aware of Q staring guiltily at the floor, he could hardly hide a smile and looked in the other direction.
“Yes. Doctor Quedlin has ruined some measuring device that is needed for the new prototype!” the director shouted.
As always, Erhard had the situation under control and answered calmly, “Director, I agree this is rather unfortunate. I have mentioned time and again that we need backup tools in case such a thing happens. Unfortunately – as you know – it is almost impossible to source anything non-essential. The government seems to believe that our tools don’t have a shelf-life, but they do. Most of our tools are way too old to work reliably.”
Now it was Q’s turn to stare at his toes to hide a grin. While Erhard was right on the general condition of their equipment, this particular tool could have served for another thirty years, if he hadn’t crossed two wires before using it, thus effectively ruining the measuring device. It had been a nice little explosion.
In his early days as a scientist, he’d always been afraid to ruin something and been overly careful, but now he felt an immense adrenaline rush whenever something went wrong.
The director spoke again. “Fine. Order a new one. Make it urgent.”
Erhard nodded, and Q left the office, putting on his most contrite face. Back at the lab, he gave Martin a silent thumbs up when he told him about the ruined device.
Martin nodded and explained, “We also have a problem with the fabrication machines for the casing. They started failing, and it took me an entire day to find the cause.”
Unyielding: Love and Resistance in WW2 Germany (World War II Trilogy) Page 14