It was hard. There were so many kinks to work out. And there were days Ruby wondered if she was enough. If she could love enough. If she could give enough. But then she would stare into Brookie’s dark, innocent, thick-lashed eyes and she would decide she would be enough. She would do whatever it took to be what this girl needed.
The car door opened and Brookie scooted in, head hanging so low her chin grazed her collarbone. Though she only wanted to gather the girl against her chest and hug away whatever had upset her, the cars behind her impatiently inched forward, and Ruby knew she had to drive out of the parking lot.
A weighted silence pressurized the car. She glanced in the rearview mirror. “How was school today, honey?”
“I hate it,” Brookie uttered, voice teetering on tears. “I’m not going back to school. Ever.” Anger provided a feeble covering for deep sadness, Ruby knew. She remembered. She’d felt that so often when she was trying to survive her own foster home experiences. It was almost like if you kept everyone out, you couldn’t get hurt.
But now she understood hurt was crucial. You couldn’t know love if you didn’t know pain.
She slowed the car, looking for Brookie in the rearview mirror again. “What happened?”
The girl said nothing, only stared out the side window, her face tightened into a hard mask of anger.
“Remember what we talked about Brookie?” she said softly, attempting to draw the girl’s gaze to her own. “You can tell me anything. You don’t have to deal with everything by yourself anymore.”
That was maybe the hardest thing for a foster child to learn. To share their burden with someone. To trust someone with it. Ruby stepped on the brakes, pausing at a stop sign. “Maybe I can help. If you tell me what’s bothering you.”
The mask melted and tears ran down her cheeks. “Today at recess Charlotte asked why my own mom didn’t want me.”
The words struck her, quick and fast and white-hot, like a lightning bolt.
“Then she said you won’t want me either.” Brookie sniffled fearfully. “Because I’m not your real kid. And since you’re getting married, you and Dad will have your own real kids someday.” The words seemed to break open the dam of emotion she’d been trying so hard to hold back.
They broke Ruby, too. They were cruel, but they weren’t the real source of Brookie’s insecurity. No. That came from years of being moved around, at first with relatives after her mother was put in jail and then into the homes of strangers.
Choking back her own tears, Ruby swerved to the side of the road and put the car in park, not giving a damn that the car behind her honked.
After waiting for the SUV to pass, she climbed into the backseat next to Brookie and held out her arms. “Come here.” There was nothing she could say to undo those words, those doubts. She could only show her again and again that she was wanted, that she was valuable and cherished. “Your dad and I love you very much,” she whispered into the girl’s hair. “We chose you, Brookie. We chose you to be our little girl, and now you will always belong with us.” She smoothed her hand down Brookie’s back, gathering her in closer, feeling like she could put her back together with all of the love that lived in her heart. “Nothing will ever change that.” She had said those same words before, as many times as she could, and yet each time the power of them seemed to grow. Brookie clung to her like Ruby was lifting her out of a flood, face buried against her chest, warm against her breast. Arms secured unyielding around her waist.
Ruby gently peeled back her head and searched her eyes. “Do you believe me?”
Brookie’s lip still trembled with uncertainty, but she nodded.
Blotting tears with her shirtsleeve, Ruby reached forward between the seats and dug a hand into her purse. “Your dad and I got you something to remind you. So you’ll never forget that you belong to us.” They’d planned to wait until the wedding ceremony to give her the necklace, but she needed it now. Sawyer would understand.
She lifted out the small package that was wrapped in delicate flowered paper. “Open it,” she said, holding it out to Brookie.
The girl’s eyes widened. “What is it?”
“You’ll see.”
She ripped at the paper until it lay in shreds on their laps. The small velvet box creaked as she popped it open.
Brookie gasped and studied the heart-shaped locket. “Always,” she read. That was the inscription they’d chosen for the heart.
Ruby helped her open it to reveal a picture of the three of them. A grin broke through Brookie’s sadness and erased the tremble from her lip. “Always,” she said again, sounding sure and hopeful.
“Now you won’t forget,” Ruby said as she carefully removed the necklace and clasped it around her daughter’s neck. “And next time Charlotte says something like that, you show her this.”
Brookie swung her arms around Ruby and squeezed the breath clean out of her. “Thanks for choosing me.”
She hugged her back. “We’ll always choose you, Brookie.” After what she’d been through herself, Ruby would make sure her children grew up knowing that they were loved and wanted. She would remind them every day. She and Sawyer would always choose Brookie and the baby.
But the sight of the girl’s still-teary eyes kept the secret locked away. When the time was right, she would tell Brookie she was going to be a big sister.
But not today. She was still too fragile. Right now Brookie couldn’t handle one more change.
* * *
“So you ready for all this?” Bryce asked in that direct way he had.
“Yes.” Sawyer didn’t even hesitate. He was ready. They were ready. To him the actual wedding was simply a necessary activity. It was every day after that mattered most.
“Avery and I are so happy for you.” Bryce tossed his hammer back into the toolbox. They were out installing the arched garden arbor they’d built for the ceremony on the ranch’s back patio. As long as the weather held, they’d planned to do the whole thing out here at sunset, hemmed in by the towering pine trees with a perfect view of the snow-studded peaks on the horizon.
“Thanks.” Sawyer admired the view. “This is the perfect spot.” He stood back to inspect their work. The morning of the wedding, the florist would decorate the arch with Ruby’s favorite flower—mountain lilies—though she didn’t know it yet. That was one of many surprises he’d planned for her.
“Guess we’d better get cleaned up,” Bryce said, latching the toolbox. “See if Mom needs help getting things ready for tonight.”
“Sounds good.” Sawyer checked his watch. Almost four. Ruby would’ve just picked up Brookie from school. After a couple of errands they’d meet him here before the party started at six.
“Your mom didn’t have to do another party,” he said, following Bryce up the steps toward the lodge.
His cousin just laughed. “You do know who you’re talking about, right?”
“Oh, yes. I know.” If there was one thing Aunt Elsie loved, it was planning parties. She’d already thrown Ruby a massive wedding shower, and she’d insisted on inviting the whole wedding party over tonight for yet another celebration before the celebration. By the time the wedding rolled around, they’d be all partied out. Not that he didn’t appreciate it. “I’m just ready to move past all of the events.” Settle down, move in with Ruby and Brookie for good…
“I hear ya,” Bryce said, holding open the door for him. “You couldn’t pay me to have another wedding. It’s exhaust—”
“Sawyer!”
Just inside the dining room, he jolted to a stop. There, sitting at the table, were Mom and Dad, along with Thomas and Aunt Elsie. He blinked. His parents weren’t supposed to be back from their European tour until tomorrow. Not that he wasn’t thrilled to see them, that they’d cut their trip short for the wedding, but he’d had it all planned out. He’d wanted to introduce Ruby and Brookie at a quiet dinner at his place. Not at a huge gathering at the ranch. Mom and Dad could be slightly overwhelming, especially for
someone who didn’t have a family of their own…
“Come here and give us a hug!” Mom cried out in her weepy voice. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I haven’t seen my baby boy for six months.” She popped out of her chair and hurried toward him, fanning her face with her hand as though trying to dry her tears.
“Hey there,” he said, catching his mom in a hug. She was as petite as Aunt Elsie—the two of them obviously shared genetics. But Mom had always been more sophisticated somehow. Probably because she’d married a corporate lawyer in Aspen while Aunt Elsie had married a ranch hand. Still, the two of them looked like they could be twins, barely ten months apart. Only difference was his mom kept her hair short and styled and dressed like she’d just stepped off a geriatric runway in Paris.
“Sawyer.” She shook her head, looking him over as though she couldn’t believe he was standing there. “Look at you. My handsome boy. I’ve missed you so much!”
“Marybeth, stop smothering him.” His father nudged her out of the way. “Good to see you, son.” He caught his hand in a firm shake, the way he’d always done. Though the man had somehow miraculously gotten a tan, he still looked the same—tall and broad, sturdy jaw, the same blue eyes as his own.
“Good to see you, too, Dad.” It was. He’d missed his parents. He just hadn’t expected to be reunited with them here, the evening of the party, the evening when there would be chaos and crowds. God, he hoped his sisters weren’t coming up early. He didn’t need them fussing over him, too.
“And, Bryce.” His mother clucked. “I just can’t wait to meet my little great-niece.”
“She can’t wait to meet you, either,” Bryce said dutifully, leaning in to give her a quick hug before shaking Dad’s hand. “I should actually run home and see if Lily’s awake. I’ll bring her by if she is.”
“Please do,” Mom gushed, waving as he headed out the door.
“We should get moving, too.” Behind his parents, Aunt Elsie scurried around, collecting teacups. “We have a whole heap of work to do yet in the kitchen, don’t we, Thomas?”
Thomas muttered an agreement, and Sawyer couldn’t help but feel that she was giving him a moment alone with his parents for some reason. Unease spread through him, dimming the anticipation of the upcoming wedding. What had they been talking about when he walked in?
Before he could ask, Aunt Elsie and Thomas slipped into the kitchen.
“So…” His mother started right in, taking his hand and leading him to the table like she used to when she wanted to give him a firm talking to. “When do we get to meet your fiancée?”
He sat across from his parents. Why did it suddenly seem like they were facing off? “Her name is Ruby.” Which they knew well and good. She was all he’d talked about on the phone with them.
“Yes.” His mother waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “When do we get to meet Ruby?”
He glanced at the clock on the wall. “She and Brookie should be here soon.”
“Wonderful.” But she didn’t smile when she said it. Instead, his mother and father shared a look. “That gives us a chance to chat, then.”
He heaved a sigh. When his mother said “chat,” it usually meant she did a whole lot of talking and everyone else listened. “Chat about what?” he asked. He wasn’t as good at catering to the bullshit as he’d once been.
Mom handed the floor to Dad with a decided tilt of her head, and he had flashback to being eight years old, when he’d gotten busted for sneaking out the ATV without asking.
“Well, son,” Dad bellowed in his courtroom voice. “We have some concerns.”
Of course they did. His parents were nothing if not overprotective. Which had meant he’d grown up in a stable, loving home, so he wouldn’t complain about it. Especially knowing the alternative—seeing it in both Brookie’s and Ruby’s lives. “Let me guess.” He shot them both a wry smile. “You think it’s too fast. That we haven’t known each other long enough.”
“Exactly,” his mother said through a relieved sigh.
“Six months isn’t enough time to know if you want to marry someone,” his father insisted. “I courted your mother for two years.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He’d heard the story many times. Trying to maintain a grip on his slipping patience, he looked at them directly. He wasn’t a child anymore. No matter how much they wanted to forget that. “Kaylee and I dated for years before we got married,” he reminded them. “And look how that turned out.” Their marriage had gone down in flames.
“Do you think you might on the rebound?” his mother asked, nodding as though trying to convince him.
“Ruby is not a rebound.” She was his best friend. His favorite person in the entire world. She’d helped him grieve the loss of his son. She made him want to be a better person. “This is right.” He simply knew. “I don’t need more time.”
“Son, you’re about to have yourself an instant family,” Dad said, as if he didn’t realize that. “A wife, a daughter. Parenting is hard enough without being newly married. It’s best to take things like this slow and ease into it.”
His temper flared. Did they think he didn’t realize how hard this would be? “I’m not looking for something easy.” He wanted something real, something lasting. That’s what he and Ruby had worked so hard to build these last few months. They weren’t going into this blind. They’d done the counseling, the parenting classes. They’d shared their fears; they’d worked through their problems. The work wasn’t done, but they were both committed to it. Problem was, his parents had spent the last eight months wandering through Europe. So they wouldn’t know any of that, even though he’d mentioned it in their weekly conversations. They hadn’t seen it.
“What’s the rush?” Dad asked, hands raised as though addressing a jury.
“Maybe you should take a little more time,” his mother suggested, her eyebrows arched into hopefulness. “We don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
His jaw tightened. “I don’t need time.” He knew everything he needed to know. They were committed to each other and to Brookie. Not to mention…they would have this incredible miracle to make their family complete. “With the baby coming—” Shit. Nope. Hadn’t meant to share that tidbit with them yet.
“Baby?” his father repeated.
“Baby?” his mother echoed.
No use denying it, pretending. Every time he thought of the baby, that grin snuck out. How was he supposed to keep that kind of thing a secret? He couldn’t. Didn’t want to. He wanted to tell everyone he loved so they could share in the joy of it. “Ruby’s pregnant,” he said, and yep, he was grinning like a fool again.
“But you never said a word on the phone!” Mom accused, as though he’d kept it from her on purpose.
“We didn’t know. She just found out. But the doctor thinks she’s nearly eighteen weeks along.”
Dad cleared his throat and sat straighter. “You’re sure the baby is yours?”
“God, Dad. Really?” He called him out with a look. His father had never been an asshole. Now was not the time to start.
“Sorry,” the man said, straightening his suit coat. “This is a lot to take in.”
“Two kids,” his mother breathed in disbelief. “You’re going into a marriage with two kids.”
“And I can’t wait.” Anticipation warded off the irritation with his parents. “I’m ready for this. And I need you both to be happy for me and to celebrate and to treat Ruby like one of your daughters,” he said firmly. “She has no one else. No one. We are her family.”
His mother lowered her gaze into a look of blatant repentance. “Right. You’re right. I’m sorry, son. Of course we’ll celebrate. Of course we’ll love Ruby.”
For Ruby’s sake, he hoped she meant it.
Chapter Four
The room had started to spin. Ever since she and Brookie had walked into the Walker Mountain Ranch’s kitchen, Ruby felt like she’d just stepped off of a merry-go-round. No matter how many times she blinked, s
he couldn’t seem to steady herself. And the scents she usually loved—cinnamon and the sugary fragrance of delectable baked goods—had her stomach clenching with repulsion.
Was it the pregnancy? A stomach bug? She had no idea. She’d never bothered to learn anything about being pregnant. Never thought she’d need to. She’d heard of morning sickness, but what about late afternoon?
She would’ve asked Elsie, but the woman stood on the other side of the island helping Brookie frost a cake for the evening’s festivities.
Easing in a shaky breath, Ruby attempted to squelch the nausea that swelled in her stomach. Her empty stomach. She hadn’t eaten a thing since breakfast. Hadn’t had the time. Not with all the running around, last-minute wedding errands. Two more days of this craziness. She couldn’t get sick. Not now. The party started in an hour, and she was supposed to be a guest of honor.
“That’s it, Brookie,” Elsie said, with an encouraging nod. “What a beautiful flower. You’re a natural. Just like your mom.”
“This’ll be the best cake ever,” Brookie sang, dolloping the thing with another heaping spoonful of frosting.
Ruby’s stomach heaved. God, she had to get away from that rich smell before she threw up. “I think I need some air,” she managed to say, already heading for the door to the dining room. Maybe a few minutes of sitting in the crisp fall air on the beautiful patio would remedy her sudden aversion to smells.
“Of course, dear. We’ll finish up here.” Elsie waved her away. “Take all the time you need. Don’t come back until you have some color in your face.”
“Thanks.” She pushed through the door and escaped into the dining room. Such a lovely room. Windows lined the entire back wall, letting in enough of the early-evening sun to warm the space. Small tables were scattered around the perimeter, while a large one anchored the center. She hurried past it, running her hand along the chair backs to balance herself. The scent of fresh evergreens filled her senses, but she didn’t fare much better with that than she had with the cake. Wrapping an arm around her churning stomach, she stumbled toward the patio doors.
Rocky Mountain Wedding Page 3