by Park, Elsie
“Finally,” Roland said as she stepped out. He entered the privy and the door closed. It was a few minutes before Audri heard Roland’s raised voice through the thin wooden portal. “Where are the . . . Audri!”
Audri smiled at Gail, who raised an eyebrow in question. Audri winked at her friend and turned back to the door. “Yes, Sir Roland?” she answered sweetly.
There was a pause, and she pictured Roland mustering his control before he spoke. “What happened to the . . . uh . . . cleaning materials?” She could tell from his tight voice that he spoke through clenched teeth. He clearly suspected she’d had a hand in their disappearance.
“Oh . . . oh dear,” she said, bringing her hand up to her cheek. “There’s no more? I must have used the last of them. So sorry, Sir Roland. Would you like me to obtain more from the castle?” She knew he wouldn’t for fear she’d grab some food along the way.
“No! No, send someone else. Uh . . . Lady Pritchard can go.”
“Oh dear, she can’t.” Audri eyed Gail. “I’m afraid she just left for the archery field. Said she wished to reprimand Sir Heath in private about his ill table manners. You know how she is.” Audri silently motioned for Gail to leave for the field so Audri wouldn’t be caught in the lie. Gail nodded and headed in that direction.
“Well, is there anyone else you can send?” The exasperation in his voice was clear, and it took everything she had to control her laughter.
Audri looked around at the busy courtyard and saw several young pages and female servants milling about whom she could summon. “No, there’s no one around at the moment. They must all be off on their own errands. I’m sorry.”
She thought she heard him swear. She smiled. She was wearing him down.
“Very well. You will go—”
“And get the supplies,” she finished for him.
“No-o-o. You will go to Sir Heath and have him send his squire to do the job, after which you will stay with Sir Heath until I return. Understand? And don’t think I won’t ask if you were with him the entire time.”
Maggots, he’d kept his head about him. So be it. “As you will, Sir Roland, but seeing as he’s all the way down at the field and will then have to send Bryant, who will then have to gather the supplies before he comes back, it might take a while to—”
“It’s taking longer because of your yammering.” He was almost yelling, but not quite. “Now get going.”
“As you will,” she acquiesced with a grin. She left and took her time strolling down to the field to give the message to Sir Heath. He sent Bryant to get the items right away, but it was still a good twenty minutes from the time she left Roland sitting on his putrid throne to when he finally came ambling back to the field with Bryant alongside him.
Roland glared at Audri. Her eyebrows lifted.
“Sir Heath,” Roland directed at the other knight, though he still looked at Audri, “thank you for the use of your squire. And might I ask if my squire remained with you after she delivered the message?”
Heath nodded. “Yes, she did.”
“Good. And did Lady Pritchard happen to have a reprimand for your ears as well?” He was trying to find out if Audri really did it on purpose.
Heath nodded again and laughed. “Aye, that she did. Something about the way I loudly chew my food at the table. But is it any surprise she’d have a comment on proper manners?” He turned and winked at Gail, making the woman’s lips tighten and her face blush as well.
“I see,” Roland said, turning again to Audri. She tipped her head to the side as if simply waiting to hear his next assignment. “I don’t care if you are a woman, next time we use the public privy, I go first.”
Audri suppressed a smile. “All the same to me,” she shrugged, though she hoped she’d never have to use the public privy again.
Roland stared into her eyes and then shook his head before turning away. “Back to training!” he barked.
They broke for cena as the sun was beginning to set, and she felt sure she’d pass out from the hunger assailing her insides. But she didn’t. Sitting at the table covered with sumptuous foods and even one of her favorite desserts, the delectable fried bread fritters rolled in cinnamon and sugar, was almost her undoing. She honestly thought about throwing her hands in the air and admitting defeat, but the smug look on Sir Roland’s face as he stuffed a sixth fritter into his smirking mouth strengthened her resolve not to give in. Instead, she took the opportunity to kick him in the shins under the table. He lost his grin as she took up the smirk, and Roland moved a foot farther down the bench, out of her foot’s range.
She couldn’t wait to just fall into bed and allow sleep to stave off her pains for a while. Upon thinking of her room, she remembered her treat cabinet that still contained some nuts. Her eyes brightened with the prospect. Staring at the table full of food but not really seeing it, her thoughts mulled over her quandary. For the rest of the meal, she was so focused on ignoring her hunger that she didn’t even converse with Gail. The woman carried on a one-sided exchange as Audri simply moved her head in acknowledgement of hearing it.
Roland and Heath finished their meal and stood. Audri placed her hands on the table and pushed her sapped body into a standing position. She felt a little lightheaded but didn’t say anything in front of Roland. She didn’t want him seeing her weakness. Gail put a hand under Audri’s arm to support her, but Audri gently shook it off.
“I’m fine,” she assured her, but Gail’s perceptive look said Audri wasn’t fooling her.
Sir Heath and Bryant retired to their beds as Roland followed the ladies up to their chamber.
“Instead of setting a guard at your door,” Roland announced, “I’ll be sleeping with mine ajar, as will you, so we’ll be able to keep an eye on each other.”
“That’s utterly inappropriate!” Gail protested.
Roland rolled his eyes heavenward. “That’s not what I mean, Lady Pritchard, and you know it. But if you question my honor again, I will have you removed from her room completely, and you’ll be keeping an eye on your fellow servants instead.”
Gail mumbled words about her not being a servant of such low stature as he compared her to, but she didn’t argue with him again.
“And just so you know,” Roland warned them both, “I’m a light sleeper.”
Roland pulled their door shut, leaving it open a few inches. He did the same with his own.
Gail helped Audri out of her dirty chausses and tunic behind a tall screen.
“You want me to have a bath brought up?”
Audri was tempted to accept the invitation but declined. “I’m too exhausted. I’ll have one tomorrow. Right now, I just want to go to bed.”
Gail helped Audri into a thick cotton shift for bed. As she brushed the tangles from Audri’s hair, Audri’s eyes roved over to her treat cabinet. Her stomach felt like it was eating itself, and the contents behind the little closed door beckoned. Her eyes darted to the open chamber door. Would Roland really know if she sneaked to her stash and got a little food? She sat there, drumming her fingers against the sides of her thighs.
Then a more important question entered her mind. Would her integrity allow her to sneak food? She sat pondering how desperation could shake one’s honesty. Gail finished brushing Audri’s hair and stepped behind the changing screen to remove her own soiled clothing. Audri remained seated, her famished body wanting desperately to obtain the food, her physical being warring with her stubborn spirit to remain true to her honor. She chewed at her lip.
She stood and glanced at the chamber door. Perceiving no one outside of it, she gradually moved to the cabinet and reached up, grasping the knob with her right hand. She stood there a full minute, closing her eyes to the dilemma, before releasing the knob and turning away without opening the cabinet. She quickly moved to her bed, slid between the covers, and closed her eyes. She said a silen
t prayer that she’d have the strength to overcome her temptations and be stronger for it in the end. Thankfully, Audri was soon fast asleep, her fatigue drawing her into a slumber that only comes of sheer exhaustion.
3: About 18 pounds.
Chapter 7
Roland hadn’t slept well through the night, his ears remaining alert to any movement coming from the chamber across the hall. It wasn’t that he doubted Audri’s desire to gain the reward for conquering this challenge, but people’s best intentions tended to peter out under duress, like when one was extremely hungry. He heard little beyond the normal movements of persons shifting in their beds, but he could have missed the slightest sound during his few moments of deeper sleep. He’d find out for sure if there’d been any food intake by his squire when he checked her little stash. It would be a test of her integrity.
He dressed and then knocked at the door. Gail answered, pulling it wide to reveal Audri already up and dressed but looking a tad weak and slow as she sat at a table brushing her own hair. His heart went out to her for the way she felt. He’d had a difficult time, too, when he’d gone through the same challenge as a squire, but he had learned that he could survive without food for a time. At least today he would allow her to have water, which would work wonders on her depleted body.
Without saying a word, he walked over to her little cabinet and opened it up, checking the contents. The twelve nuts that the servant girl said were there . . . were still there. He closed his eyes in relief and felt pride welling in his heart over his squire’s accomplishment. He opened his eyes, shut the cabinet, and turned to find the ladies staring at him.
“You didn’t know I knew about your stash, did you?”
Audri slowly shook her head and placed the hairbrush on the table. “No, but I’m not surprised. I have little privacy left to me since becoming your squire.”
Roland walked over to the table and sat down in the other seat, facing her.
“Audri, you’ve done extremely well with your fast so far, and . . . and I’m proud of your efforts.”
At his compliment, Audri straightened in her chair, her eyes brightening.
“But tell me, were you tempted to eat the nuts?”
Audri’s shoulders slumped and she looked down at the table. She nodded. “Yes, I was. I went so far as touching the cabinet door, but I resisted. I don’t know how . . . I just turned away and went to bed.”
Roland nodded with a knowing expression. “Don’t be frustrated that you were tempted. Temptations are ever present around us. There’s no escaping them. The strength and honor comes from what we do when faced with those temptations. We can give in or overcome—and you overcame, Audri. Well done.”
Audri’s shoulders again straightened, and her engaging eyes almost seemed to twinkle.
He cleared his throat. “But we have another day ahead of us, and just so you’re not tempted again . . .” He stood and sauntered to the cabinet. Opening the door, he scooped the nuts into his hand and popped them all into his mouth.
Audri’s mouth hung open, but she said nothing.
There was a knock on the door frame and all eyes turned to Sir Heath standing there with several empty goblets in hand. Young Bryant stood behind him holding a pitcher and one other goblet. “Would your squire like a little something to wet her parched throat?” Heath queried.
“Ah, Sir Heath,” Roland smiled, swallowing the salty nuts. “Wonderful timing. I could use some as well.”
Heath stepped aside to allow Bryant’s entrance. The boy poured cold well-water into the empty goblet he held and handed it to Audri. She grabbed it and swallowed the entire amount without taking a breath. Bryant refilled her goblet. She downed the second just as fast as the first.
“Slow down, Audri,” Roland warned. “You may have as much water as you’d like today, along with some broth later on, but I ask that you inhale them a tad slower. Filling an empty stomach too fast can reap a nasty bellyache.”
Audri nodded, sipping at her third cup.
“On that note, let’s go down to breakfast,” Heath said.
Audri looked much stronger after being allowed to drink liquids, including some broth at noon. Roland filled the day with greater tests of fortitude than the day before. He had her do more strenuous work: unloading hay for the stables again, training her with the sword and lance, and instructing her in the use of the battle axe. He continued to talk about food, eat in front of her, and had her perform duties in the kitchen. The head chef had been surprised at the offer of the knight and his lady squire to help, but he humbly accepted it, keeping any comments he might have had to himself.
They delivered heavy sacks of grain and filled buckets of water from the well to pour into the kitchen cauldrons.
“Mm, these are the most wonderful carrots,” Roland later said as he popped a section into his mouth. He continued slicing the carrots, cabbage, and onions that would accompany the evening roast.
Audri glanced up at him from where she kneaded bread dough but said nothing.
He knew that her labors, coupled with the endless aroma of tasty fare, were a true test of fortitude, and he was proud to see her determination to not give in. After it was baked, he even offered her some bread, but she lifted her chin and refused it, sipping instead from her cup of water. He nodded in satisfied approval, knowing freshly baked bread was as hard to resist as a cool lake in the heat of summer.
But Audri again presented Roland with an equally challenging day, filled with many occasions for him to react in a not-so-calm manner. She started off by calling him “Rol,” of all things, exclaiming that if he could call her by a nickname, then she could do the same.
During training, she asked him to repeat directions five different times, which he did before he guessed she had actually understood them the first time but was trying to annoy him. To top it off, when he handed her the axe so she could practice swinging it, the weapon slipped from her hands in the exchange, the blunt top landing on his foot. Again, the foot. The axe would have bruised his toes if he hadn’t been wearing his thicker, protective boots rather than the softer ones from before. He’d learned his lesson after the continuous assault of the day before.
Then, while forking hay, she “accidentally” poked him in the back of his left thigh, drawing a surprised yelp from his lips. There was a little blood drawn, and his leg was sore for hours after. He reprimanded her for not paying attention but wondered if it had truly been an accident or not, especially when he saw her trying not to laugh. After each of these incidents, his anger had risen quickly, but he took a moment to breathe and think of calmer reactions that didn’t include yelling. It was hard—very hard—but he managed to keep his temper. If it hadn’t been for his word that he’d try his best, he’d have exploded many times during the past two days. He had to admit that this contest, though difficult and exasperating, was good for him. It was showing him that he could indeed have better control of his reactions.
At the end of the day, however, when Roland felt most confident that he wouldn’t be the one to lose, there was an incident.
Audri had managed not to complain about her limited liquid diet throughout the day. As a final test for her, and drawing upon her squire duties, Roland had her serve him his evening meal before she partook of her broth. She piled food upon his plate and poured him some wine.
While Audri served him, Roland started up a conversation with Sir Heath, and the next thing he knew his tunic and chausses were drenched in dark red liquid, his goblet rolling away on the floor. He jumped up from the bench and looked down at his soiled clothing before his eyes whipped over to her. “What the . . .?” Those nearest to them stopped their chatter to observe the scene, and Roland couldn’t help feeling the embarrassment of being the recipient of such an action. If this was another tactic of hers to test him, then she’d gone too far this time. Unacceptable!
He coul
d feel the heat radiating from his face as his nostrils flared. Dash the challenge! He lost control, not caring to rein it in. “How could you be so clumsy?” he yelled as Audri scrambled to retrieve the goblet from the stone floor. Gail rushed to her lady’s side and Audri replaced the goblet onto the table and stood looking utterly crestfallen and embarrassed. A good act from the queen of revenge, he thought. “Go!” he ordered, pointing to the squires’ table. “You are unfit to perform even the basest of squire duties!”
Audri’s eyes didn’t narrow, nor did her brows crease. She simply seemed . . . lost, distressed. With Gail tailing her, she moved off to the squires’ table and sat down, shoulders slumped forward. Roland’s heart beat a fast rhythm as he took deep breaths to calm his rage. He sat down again, his mind seeing red. Some of the knights snickered as they returned to their plates, their subject of conversation revolving around the occurrence.
Breathing in and out, in and out, Roland’s anger began to subside but was replaced by guilt. Yes, Roland had just lost the challenge, but that’s not what bothered him. It was the look in Audri’s eyes, the disappointment that he had acted like every other Guildon knight—like a brute! He felt ashamed that the surrounding knights had a good laugh at her expense, that he’d been the one to draw their attention to her mistake, for he now felt the spill had been a true accident.
He tried blaming her for his lost temper instead of looking to himself as the controller of his emotions. His justification for such hurtful comments was that if she didn’t want to hear them again, then she’d do better next time.
But this logic was flawed.
Cutting someone down was not the way to bolster them up, to make them want to be better. It only discouraged them.
But in his ire, he listened to the stronger voice telling him to continue his rant because she needed to hear it and because he needed to vent. But did he? Venting didn’t change what had already happened, but his reaction did determine how she saw him in the end—someone to fear and mistrust, someone like Festus and Doyle. He didn’t want that.