by Faulks, Kim
The night I was shoved from a car in the middle of nowhere. The night I was saved by them. I ducked my head, stepped through the open door to slide against the cold leather next to Leah.
She fumbled with my seatbelt, quiet now…thinking. Dad sat on the other side of the car, all alone. I swallowed the urge to change seats, to feel his warmth beside me.
I clung. I tried not too. I tried to be the happy, sweet child they wanted me to be. I tried to be anything but tortured. Leah gave my knee a pat and yanked her own seatbelt down as the limousine turned around in the driveway and slipped along the drive.
“It’s going to be fine,” Dad murmured and gave me a wink. “All we have to do is smile and nod a lot, while Mom does all the heavy lifting, and then we can come back home. You’ll be back in your own bed before you know it.”
I gave a small nod and shifted in my seat, the warmth of her body slipped away…the touch of her hand on my knee followed. Cold seeped in. I’d take it…I’d take anything, as long as it wasn’t her touch, as long as it wasn’t her.
Tick…tick…tick…
The sound haunted me…following me day after day—growing louder…especially on nights like this. The car turned at the edge of the drive. I pushed my spine into the seat and looked out of the tinted windows.
Leah hit the overhead lights and stared at the cards in her hand. Her lips moved, murmuring the words over and over.
“Want to sit over here?” Dad leaned forward.
My fingers fumbled, punching the clasp for the seatbelt as I scurried. Leah caught the movement, wincing as I settled beside him. “You pander to her too much.”
“She’s been ours for three years, sweetheart.” He clicked the seatbelt closed. “We’ve got a lot of pandering to make up for.”
It hurt her…I knew it hurt her. The shine in her eyes sparkled that little bit harder, like glass, before she reached overhead and hit the light switch once more.
Dad gave my knee a soft pat and then relaxed. Three years, his words echoed. Three years since that night. Three years since I first heard the ticking in my head.
They tried to find my parents…my real parents, tried to find my name. Leah tried to unravel the darkness inside my head. I’d seen so many people, people who asked me the same questions over and over again.
Where did you live?
Who are your parents?
What’s your name?
What do those numbers mean on the inside of your wrist?
I tried to tell them…but there was nothing but blackness, nothing but the stabbing pain in my head. Leah asked the most questions. First about my family, but then her gaze always drifted to the markings on the inside of my wrist.
Then came the doctors, special doctors who told me the word hypnosis, and laid me against a seat with my eyes closed.
Flashes filled my head…memories at first…I wiggled, jerked against the seat as the darkness swam close to the surface.
Straps tight around my wrist…
Things stuck to my head.
Wetness on my cheeks. My whimpers echoing…
I cried then, cried like a baby as the memory of their needles followed.
Thunder roared inside me, snarling and growling like a cornered beast.
Flashes came.
White lights in my mind flickered. I tried to breathe…tried to look away…a man screaming. WEAPON. Blood…so much blood. BEAST. The booming of a brutal beat filled me…like thunder. KILL. Lightning followed, shattering the darkness with bright white light. KILL FOR US, the words melted in the glare.
And as always, I ended up at the same place.
On a dark country road with the man’s words ringing in my ear…I’ll be watching. I knew him…knew the rasp of his voice, knew the name of his cologne.
Knew he’d be waiting for me…on a dark country road in the middle of nowhere.
There was a storm raging when the doctor’s screams tore me from that place. Thunder so loud it shook the building. Lightning so bright it was neon white in my eyes. Dad was there, his arms wrapped around me, soft familiar Dad. “Enough now, Spark,” he pleaded. “Enough now, it’s all okay…they won’t hurt you, never again.”
He rocked me until I stopped screaming, rocked me until the bad men went away.
“You ready for this?” Dad patted my knee, dragging me back into the present. “Just smile, honey, and hold my hand. I won’t leave you, not for a second.”
Leah’s phone beeped, soft white flow lit up the car. Her thumb scrolled across the screen before she lifted her head. “He’s here, Seth…President Harper’s here.”
Dad’s hand gripped mine a little tighter, but his words were for her. “You sure you’re ready? You’ve still got time, time to change your speech. Time to make less dangerous alliances.”
The lights of Lakeside City sparkled in the distance as the limousine slipped through the night.
“There’s no backing out, Seth. Not anymore. Too many people are depending on me. The Garcia’s will be there, and I’m fighting for their daughter too.”
I flinched as the city lights surrounded us. “What do you mean?” Camera lights flashed as the car pulled to a stop. “Dad, what does she mean?”
“Not now, Spark,” Dad patted my hand as the car door opened.
He pulled me forward, sliding to the edge of the seat and then out of the car door. Lights flared, shutters snapped like teeth, and then Leah was out, smiling, waiving, holding Dad’s hand.
I winced into the glare, and lifted my hand in front of my eyes.
“Senator!” A man called from the crowd. “Senator Williams. You’ve earned yourself a fierce reputation in the courtroom, will making the Senate mellow you now?”
Leah threw her head back and laughed. “If you believe that then I wouldn’t be standing here, would I Richard?”
She smiled and waved, holding onto Dad’s hand while he held onto mine, and together we stepped through the open door and into the foyer of a massive building.
A picture of Leah was at the entrance, along with ribbons and balloons. People clapped when she stepped closer, some walked up and hugged her.
My pulse was racing, I caught the glare of the camera right and then left. Dad gripped my hand, never letting me go, even when Leah dropped his hand and stepped away.
He looked down at me and smiled, but I could tell he hated this as much as I did. I wanted to be at home, like every other night, eating the braised beef and wilted greens that Dad loved while we watched TV together and joked.
I followed Dad up the stairs and through a set of double doors. Tables filled the gigantic space, rows and rows of tables and chairs decorated with ribbons; red, white and blue.
Strangers clapped as we entered, one man rushed up to meet us, shaking Dad’s hand and motioning toward a table at the front. I didn’t like this, not the crowd, not the noise—not the flare of bright lights in my eyes. I clenched tighter.
Tick…tick…tick…
“Dad, I don’t…I don’t like this,” I murmured as I stared at the crowds of people heading toward us.
But he never heard me. My voice was swallowed by another and another, and another as they all stepped toward my dad and shook his hand. He smiled, moved from one to another until a woman stepped close, red dress flowing to the ground, and clutched his other arm.
She smiled at me, one of those hungry, false smiles, and then slipped my hand from his. “We won’t be a second, sweetie,” she murmured. “But Seth you just have to meet Gerald, he’s the head of the biggest housing project in the south east, and he’s in the market for a savvy, no-nonsense architect, and I just so happened to throw your name in the ring.”
Dad glanced over his shoulder with one desperate look before others moved in, blocking him from view.
I gripped the back of the seat, holding on as the warmth of his hand faded.
The Garcia’s, she was fighting for their daughter too? What did she mean by that? I scanned dresses and suits. Fat men, bald
men, older women, younger ones with pretty faces and boobs on display, scanning the room like I was…hunting.
A crowd closed in at the edge of the room as someone stepped up onto the stage. “Everyone, I’d like for you to put your hands together for our new President, Johnathan Harper, and his Vice President Cameron Smith.”
The room was swallowed by the deafening sound. People clapped and cheered until I felt the roar in my chest.
Cream sparkled, catching my eye as Leah crossed the floor toward the others. I swallowed the urge to follow her…to be with someone…
“Spark.” Dad’s voice cut through the drone.
He shot his hand in the air between one person and the next, and broke through, side-stepping a well-wisher to get to me. “I’m sorry sweetheart. So sorry, you okay?”
“What did she mean, Dad? What did Leah mean she’s fighting for the Garcia’s daughter too?”
The concern slipped from his gaze. He scanned the room before kneeling. “She wasn’t supposed to say anything, not until we spoke with the doctors to see how this would impact you emotionally. But your Mom thinks she’s found another child, a girl just like you. Her name’s Gabriela. She’s special, Spark, special just like you, with the same kind of tattoo on the inside of her wrist.”
Just like me…just like me…just like me.
The room seemed to spin out of control. I scanned the people, scanned the faces…scanned everything, around…and around…and around, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I slammed my eyes closed, fingers squeezed into fists.
“Listen to me.” He moved closer. “It’s going to be okay, it means you’re not alone, do you hear me? It means no matter what happens there’s someone else out there, someone who knows exactly how you’re feeling, because they’re feeling the same way too.”
“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be kicking this off in about ten minutes,” the man on the stage said into the microphone. “So, if you’d like to take your seats…”
Thunder growled above the building, swallowing the sound. Dad jerked his head toward me, eyes bright. “Spark…honey, you okay?”
But there was just more than me here, more than my hopes, more than my fears…more than the pain and the rain. Something welled in the darkness, something that grew stronger. My body trembled with an unspent breath.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
People took their seats all around me. But the feeling didn’t slip away, instead it grew stronger and stronger.
Dad pulled out a chair and the one beside him, his gaze filled with concern. “Breathe…Spark, breathe.”
The man on the stage started talking. Air hissed between my lips. I couldn’t catch the words he said…and then there she was, my Mom…Leah. Standing in front of everyone with her sparkling cream blouse and her shiny nails.
“Thank you all for coming. I am deeply honored to have everyone here in Lakeside. I’m so proud of this city, so proud of what it has become and what it believes in, and apparently it believes in you…because here you all are.”
Fake smiles.
Fake laughter.
Dad smiled, and then turned to look at me. I tried to breathe, tried to let the energy escape from my lungs, and then tried to bring it all back.
My nails buckled against the seat. Still the darkness was here. Hiding in the shadows, whispering in my ear.
“I want to go home,” I murmured, and then lifted my gaze. “Please, Dad, I want to go home.”
He was torn, ripped down the middle as he turned his head and glanced at Mom, then turned to me. “Can you wait until after the speech?”
Warmth swallowed my hand as he gripped my fingers. “As soon as she’s done, we can leave. This is important, Spark. You understand that, right? It’s important, not just for her, but for you as well.”
I forced a nod and glanced at the stage. Days and weeks and months, she’d prepared…I’d heard her talking, heard her typing, late at night and into the morning. I saw her tired, saw her alive, saw her as everything.
An ache bloomed in the back of my throat. I saw her as Mom.
“You know it’s this drive that Lakeside has that pushed me to be here, well, one of the reasons anyway.” She turned her head then, turned to find me like she did every time.
And that charge in me raced, spooling out from my belly like a broken thread, and that lump in the back of my throat grew harder and larger.
I tried to swallow…and swallow…and swallow.
“The other reason is my daughter. My miracle, who found me. Over the years others have told me about their kids, how they made the basketball team, or got accepted to Harvard, and every time I’d smile and nod, I’d listen to their stories without so much as a twinge of regret for not having a child of my own. Until our Spark came along, and it’s for her that I’m up here today. It’s for her that I need to tell you about certain factions in our government. The same government I’m here to stand for. I stand by our country’s laws, and I stand by the men and women who serve this great land of ours…but I do not stand by top-level classified factors within our government…factions that have stolen children from their families to brainwash and torture…”
A gasp raced through the room, and then fell silent.
Mom took a breath, and continued. “I have evidence, concrete evidence that this is happening. That children, born here on US soil have been subjected to the most horrendous crimes, and our newly elected President Johnathan Harper not only knew about them…he sanctioned them.”
Voices murmured. Chairs scraped.
My heart thundered, booming inside my head.
“Stay with me, Spark,” Dad murmured, watching them. He tightened his hold on my hand. “Stay with me.”
I didn’t understand. She was one of them. She wore the clothes, drove the cars. She took the oath. One of them…one of those that hurt, one of those who never cared.
Dad wanted me to call her Mom, even begged, but there’d always been that divide, that cold empty divide between the two of us.
“This is why I’ve become a Senator, to fight for—”
A scream cut through the roar. Everyone inside the room froze, gazes snapped toward the front doors. Men were moving, running outside the building as a gunshot rang out.
I clenched tight, heart hammering, sending the boom high above in the clouds…in the storm.
“Easy now, Spark,” Dad murmured, but his gaze was fixed on Leah.
I understood now, understood why he had to be here, understood why the secrecy and the fear. Men in dark suits raced through the front doors and out into the hall.
I could hear people screaming out there, calling for President Harper to tell the truth. Calling for an impeachment. A man stood at the front of the table next to us, and it seemed like the entire room followed his move, getting to their feet.
Leah looked him in the eye, glanced toward the door. Her voice a little soft, words a little harder. “They deserve to know the truth. They deserve to understand why their children were taken from them, why they were branded...why they were abused. Why they are different.”
The doors opened and some of the men in black suits swept in, walking directly to the man standing at the head of the table and whispering in his ear.
I couldn’t turn away, transfixed by the way he stood…the way he moved, and as he turned his head…as he found me in the crowded room, I felt the ground beneath me shudder.
I knew him…
Thunder rumbled overhead, ending with a snarl.
I knew him from somewhere.
Lighting flared in the distance, the faint light through the window.
“Spark…Spark, what is it, sweetheart?” Dad followed my gaze to the man standing. The man with protectors all around. The man who looked at me.
“You recognize him?” Dad moved closer, pulling my fingers, dragging my gaze away.
Fingers curled around my jaw, pulling me…tearing me away from him, until all I saw were kind brown eyes of my father. “Do
you know him, sweetheart?”
“It’s all okay everyone,” the man at the front of the table called. “Just a false alarm, a car backfired, nothing more. Let the good Senator here have her moment in the spotlight. I’m intrigued in this fantasy story, if nothing more.”
Sniggers and laughter cut through the room from one corner to another. I tried to cling to the warmth of Dad’s hand on my chin, and the kindness in his eyes as those around us took their seats.
I could still hear them yelling outside, still hear them screaming his name…President Harper, we want answers! Why did you take them…what have you done? YOU’RE the monster…YOU’RE the beast.
Dad’s hold slipped around my jaw. I couldn’t stop myself from turning, finding him at the head of the table. The President leaned forward, whispered something to one of the men in dark suits and then he was moving, motioning to two others and they headed for the door.
“Do you recognize him sweetheart?” Dad murmured in my ear.
I didn’t…not his face, not his voice, or the way he moved. But the darkness inside whispered…it’s him…and thunder overhead savaged the sky.
Warm hand clasped mine as on stage Leah scanned the crowd, cleared her throat and continued. “I’m calling on our government to do the right thing, to launch an investigation into these terrible crimes, and tonight I’m announcing that I’ll be spearheading this investigation myself. I’ve sharpened my claws as a prosecutor for this county for many years. Now is the time I put them to good use. I’ll fight, I’ll expose…I’ll bring those who hide behind these acts and pretenses to light, to justice. I’ll do it all, and I’ll do it for the children.”
The thunder roared, shuddering the air, and inside the darkness…inside where the monster lived, that ticking in my head grew louder, sending tremors along my spine…consuming me…
MONSTER…
KILL…
KILL FOR US…
I looked to him…the man at the front of the table as he lifted his hands, smiled and slowly clapped. The entire room followed, like they were all puppets on a string.