by Faulks, Kim
Where he was the hunter…and I was the prey.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Greg’s voice drifted to me.
So far away now, hidden under that dark river of need. The one that whispered. The one that screamed. In that dark, lonely place with the smell of piss in the air, the abuser of my past leaned forward, a white plastic ID tag tucked away in his pocket slipped out…revealing a name…
His name.
Gready.
“Gready,” I murmured. “I know who you are now.”
“Bring her out!” Dad roared. “Bring her out now!”
“When I count back from ten, I’m going to bring you out of this,” the faint voice tried to push into my head.
But it was too late now. The river was flowing, carving a line though me like a vein. The beast wanted…the beast wanted…the beast wanted.
A deafening boom cut through the air. The hairs on my arms stood on end. I was rising, shoving up from the chair. Power was calling me…whispering all the things I needed to hear.
One of us…one of us…one of us…and in the middle of that savage neon white bolt through the sky, an image…a vision of some kind.
I breathed deep and the sweet air filled my lungs as I turned my head toward a bank of trees behind me and took a step out of the shadows. Resistance pushed me as I stepped away from the trees. The tips of my fingers brushed something soft, and as the glare faded I saw a field of grass…stretching as far as I could see.
Spark! Dad’s voice carried, but it was snatched away by a breeze.
A sweet, perfect breeze. A shadow moved against the horizon…a woman…thin, fierce. Dark eyes flashed as she turned her head and as my vision adjusted I saw her clearer now. Strands of purple hair caught the sun.
I’m your friend, a little girl’s voice filled me. I lifted my hand as the flare of knowing swept through me. It was her…the girl in my past. I wanted to push further, to find a way to get to her.
Boom…boom…boom…thunder in my head.
“Spark come on…you need to snap out of it!”
She needed me. I don’t know how. But I knew it like I now knew that hunger inside me.
Darkness swept around her, reaching fingers around her wrists. She stared at me, desperate, and in a heartbeat I was snatched from that field. I felt hands around my wrists and blinked desperately.
“Spark! Come on, come back to me!”
My lips curled, baring teeth. He flinched from the sight, fear filled his gaze and he dropped his hand from my arm. “Spark, it’s me…Dad.”
Dad? I tried to pull away from the beast, tried to find the fragments of my life. He was my dad? I stared at the stranger. Connections flared, fighting against the tether of the beast.
I’m not going to tell you again. Shut the fuck up. That voice filled my head, and with it came that crisp, familiar scent of cologne. Don’t you look at me. Don’t talk to me. His scent familiar. Cool Water. The name flared as lightning hit the ground close to the building.
Neon white flashed in the window. A man screamed and cowered in the corner of the room, still all I could hear was the voice in the car…the man who left me in the middle of a darkened road. The man who was always watching…always watching…
“Spark, it’s me honey, look at me. I’m right here…right here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
The man took a step closer, and reached out with his hand. My lips curled, hate so close now…so close I could burn it all away with a bolt of power.
His fingers trembled, dancing out of control as he moved forward, leaning down to caress my hand. “It’s me, remember? Pancake Saturday. Remember when we used to go to the park when you were little? There was one of those spring rides there, a kangaroo, you remember? You used to love that ride, used to bark like a dog as you swung back and forth. You thought it was the sound they made…do you remember sweetheart?”
Faint memory slipped in. The playground, the sun beaming down.
“This morning we went for double frappe’s together, you have caramel topping and I have—”
“Hazelnut,” the word slipped from my lips.
Pieces slotted into place, memories crashed down around me, a deluge of the shattered shards of my life. I inhaled hard as the beast slipped away. “Dad?”
He forced a smile and stepped closer. “It’s me, sweetheart. I’m right here. Right where I told you I’d be.”
The man in the corner clapped his hands over his ears as thunder roared above us. The pens on his desk rattled, an empty glass slid. A frame fell from the wall, glass smashing as it landed.
His brows pinched, torture filled his gaze as I took a step backwards. “The beast is too close.” I wrenched my gaze to the window. “She’s far too close.”
“You can do this,” Dad murmured. “Breathe, you can find the girl…you can find Fail Safe.”
His lips moved, but a crack of thunder swallowed his words. Still I heard the sound. I knew he’d fight for me…knew he’d always fight for me. I was torn in two, split at the seams. It wasn’t safe, not around me—not anymore.
Tears blurred his face.
“I need to leave, Dad. Just run away and never look back.”
There was a tiny shake of his head. “No, you’re not running, Spark. We’re a family.”
“Get her out!” the therapist roared and tried to shove to a stand, his hands over his ears. He stumbled sideways and then righted himself. “Get her the fuck out of here!”
I spun. Power surged as lightning crashed down outside.
“Easy now.” Dad lifted his hand toward me. He jerked his gaze to therapist. “Do not move. Do not say a fucking word.”
I sucked in the ozone, feeding the bitter scent into my lungs and the beast inside.
The therapist shook his head, sliding his spine along the wall.
“It’s okay, Spark. Look at me, focus on me now.”
One small step and he came closer. “Can you make it to the alley?”
My muscles jumped and twitched, fighting the confines of my own skin. I clenched my fist and gave a nod. The door was closed. I focused on the distance, forcing my feet to move.
A whimper filled the space behind me, then the threatening growl of thunder. Footsteps timed with my heartbeat. I twisted the handle and yanked, stepping out into the hallway and then made for the front of the offices.
The place was closed down. No receptionist, no patients, just me…Greg Hummerford. I caught his name on the door as I twisted the handle and behind the offices.
Greg wouldn’t answer their calls, not after today. He’d understand why the secrecy. He’d understand why he was number twelve on the long list we’d burned through.
He’d understand why no recording. I mean, who would believe him anyway?
The sky was dark and foreboding as I shoved through the glass door to the building, thick cumulus clouds hanging heavy overhead. The edges bruised and battered, lighting up their bellies with forked flickers of white light.
I wanted out of the building and that need to run thundered home. My footsteps fell in sync, smacking the ground with the beat of my heart.
The indicator lights on Dad’s car flashed twice before the locks disengaged. I stepped to the curb and yanked the handle, sliding into the faint scent of coffee frappes.
My sneakers were waiting, laces undone. I closed my eyes as Dad opened the driver’s door and slipped inside. He tucked a notepad beside the driver’s seat and the console. The unfamiliar scrawl almost filled a page. I wanted to look at it, wanted to read the words from someone who’d sat on the other side of this fence, from someone who didn’t harbor an animal—from someone who wasn’t a beast.
“You okay?” He closed the door carefully.
No loud sounds, no sudden movements. We’d gone through this so many times before, so many times it was ingrained now. I leaned forward and shoved down the zipper on my boots, gripped the heels and yanked them free. “I just need to run.”
The car started in an instant, we w
ere moving as I slipped one foot into my sneaker and worked on the next. Laces tied, breath tight. I wanted to be out of here, away from the metal and the steel. I wanted to be free, tearing through the trees and brushes…tearing free of me.
I yanked my seatbelt on as Dad sped through the city streets, hands gripping the wheel, eyes focussed on the streaks above.
“You’ll be okay,” he murmured, jerking his gaze my way.
I’d never seen him look so haunted. His brown eyes didn’t sparkle with happiness, not anymore.
I’d hurt him somehow. Made him see the real me. Cars blurred out my window as they passed, and the ache in my chest was a hole.
You’ll be a good girl, won’t you? My little sleeper cell…
We left the last traffic light behind. “Hurry,” I murmured as the car surged.
My nails gouged the leather, leaving crisp crescents behind as Dad punched the accelerator, spearing us out of the city until he hit the indicator and turned left.
I closed my eyes as the sonic snarl overhead screamed my name. The beast was screaming for me, searching…hunting. “Stop the car, Dad.”
“Spark, you’re miles…”
But I was already stabbing my seatbelt, already yanking the handle on the door. The car skidded sideways, dust and rocks kicked up as we came to a stop.
I wanted out of here. Away from him. Away from everyone. I climbed out, scanning the thick forest on both sides of the muddy dirt road.
The same road they left me all those years ago.
But I was done with the past, done with its talons and its lies. I was done with reliving those dark moments…done with trying to figure out who I was.
I shifted forward, lunging down the sharp rocks on the shoulder of the road until I hit a thicket.
Thorns snagged my jeans as I jumped. I landed hard, punching my feet into the earth and turning my head as I slammed through the trees.
The car sounded behind me. Driving slowly as I left the fragment of light behind.
You’ll be a good girl, won’t you? My little sleeper cell…
The words echoed as spindled branches scratched and clawed. I swallowed those words, shoving them all the way down, underneath the darkness…underneath the pretense and the lies.
Tick…tick…tick…
Sneakers slammed into the soft forest bed, thick with pine needles and moss. I ran until the forest thinned…ran until I couldn’t feel my lungs.
Ran until I became no one, and the lightning in the sky found me.
I ran until I left the forest behind, and in my mind that field waited…calling me, along with the girl with the purple hair.
Spark
I hugged my knees tighter and stared out of my window. Rain ran in rivulets. The storm wouldn’t leave me alone, gripping tighter than ever before.
The soft knock at my door made me flinch. “I’m not hungry.”
The words so automatic now.
“Honey,” Leah murmured in the dark. “Can I turn on the light?”
I didn’t answer and she didn’t wait. Light flared overhead, blinding me for a second until my eyes adjusted. Her gaze found mine before she found the dresser and the cold bowl filled with soup. “Spark, you’ve got to eat something honey.”
“I’m not hungry.” I turned to the window and the rain.
She took a step closer, her heels muffled on the plush carpet. “You know you can’t hide in here forever.”
No? Just watch me…
“Dad said the session was a bad one. We can talk about it if you want?”
Rain slipped in thick veins down the glass. I followed a rivulet until it blurred in a sheen.
“You said a name. Do you remember that?”
I winced. It was always business with her. Always one more push, one more cold goddamn push.
“Gready, you said the name Gready. You think you can tell me more about him? What he did, where you saw him?”
A hum surfaced from my memories. The haunting sound sent tremors along my skin. I swallowed hard and then turned to her, trying to find the courage to say the words. “If I asked you to stop, would you?”
She flinched, forehead creased before she crossed her arms. “You know I can’t,” she moved closer, climbing the two small steps toward the long seat under the windowsill, and perched on the edge. “Want to tell me your reasoning?”
“Does there have to be one? Can’t it be I asked you to do this?”
And there was that look, the one where she made me feel like a damn child. Her lips pursed, she reached up, ticking strands of her chestnut colored hair behind her ear. “I wish it were that simple. But it’s not just you I’m working for, kiddo. I’ve put years into this, years and years, and all I needed was a name. You’ve given me that. We’re just about through, one more step. I have my team working on finding this Gready and when we’re done he won’t have a rock to hide behind. Cause I’m coming after him with every goddamn criminal code I can find. He’s not going to hurt you, or anyone else ever again. You want that right? You want to put away the man who did this to you?”
Who did this to me? She made it seem like it was some kind of goddamn side effect from a drug, one miscalculation and poof, I could call lightning from the sky.
That dark power waited, closer now…closer than ever before. “I’m scared, Mom. Something’s wrong.” I held her gaze. “Something’s wrong with me.”
Tick…tick…tick…
Desperation flared in her eyes. “It was sent to me by a very special friend. It’s for the safe in my study, and I’m giving you the key. I’ve hidden something in there. No one knows about it, not even your father. God knows I’ve hated keeping it from him. But I swore I’d keep this safe, and I have until now. This is dangerous, Spark. You understand what I’m trying to tell you? The last thing I want is for you to be hurt. But you’re strong. The strongest person I know. So, I want you to keep it hidden, okay? Can you do that for me? Keep it hidden, keep it safe.” She slipped the warm metal into my hand, and closed my fingers. “You don’t have to look at it now. But I need you to know I kept it because I wanted to protect you. There’s not a damn thing wrong with you kiddo. Are you different? Yes, but who the hell isn’t these days?”
I wanted to look at what she’d given me, but I was still caught on my fear. “There’s different and then there’s me.”
“Well, we knew that going in. Was it scary as Hell? Yes, but that’s what makes you, you. No different than a guy that can pull a damn truck, or the person who can wield a sword. They’re deadly, you’re deadly. But you have a good heart, a wonderful, kind, special heart. We saw that straight away. And some day you’re going to find someone who’ll see past the one billion volts of power to see that.”
I smothered my smile and stared at the rain. My pulse thundered, pushing me to say what I needed to say. “I don’t trust myself, not around you and Dad, not anymore. Not after…”
“Yesterday. You don’t trust yourself after yesterday. Dad said that you had a hard time coming out of it. That somehow the past stayed with you. I’m sorry to do that to you. Sorry that it was you.”
She scooted closer, reaching out to touch my hand. Cold fingers met warm skin. I never flinched, even when the caress became a pat on the back of my hand.
You’ll be a good girl, won’t you? My little sleeper cell…
“What if I told you that you were in danger? What if I told you we all were, would you stop then?”
She pulled away from me, just like she always did. “Then I’d say we’re getting close, aren’t we? It’s the most dangerous time. The time we need to be stronger, now more than ever. We’re in the closing argument, and we have the entire weight of the law on your side.”
She pushed up from the window seat and smiled. “Now, come be with your family. Your father hasn’t said a word to me since I came home, and I miss the chatter.”
She walked to the dresser, grabbed the bowl of cold soup before she made for the door. She left it open j
ust a little, enough to hear their voices drifting from the kitchen.
Just leave, the words consumed me. Leave tonight, without your testimony she has nothing but hearsay, and that won’t see the light of day.
I knew enough to know that. No witness, no case. No danger. I swung my feet from the seat and rose. I glanced to the straps of the pack peeking out from under my bed. A pack stuffed with clothes, food, and all the money I had.
It wasn’t much, but it’d get me a bus ticket out of here. I’d run, run as fast and as far as I could, change my name, my hair…change everything I could. I swallowed hard and headed for the door—just one last dinner, one last time when we were a family…one last time of being really loved, before I was gone.
I yanked open the dresser, slipped my hand inside and stuck the key under the top, and wedged it in tight.
I opened the door and followed the sounds of clinking glasses. Leah lifted her head from the open file in front of her and turned toward me. She smiled and slapped the folder closed.
Family time, it was one of the very few things she held sacred. She shoved the file aside and motioned to the barstool next to her.
Dad was busy over the stove, sautéing something that smelled delicious with his back to us. “Well, it’s an option we can float to her, but ultimately it’s up to her.”
I slid onto the seat and glanced at Leah. “What’s up to her?”
He glanced over his shoulder at me, and those haunted eyes sparkled a little brighter. “Your Mom has something she wants to discuss with you.”
I turned to her. “And what’s that?”
“Boarding school, well, something like it. Instead of school-based curriculum you’ll be learning life skills, or any trade qualifications you might have an interest in. It’s just a thought. I haven’t done a lot of research, just called a few people, asked some questions.”
Pulled strings, that’s what she really meant. I mean, who’d say no to a US Senator?
“It was just a suggestion anyway. I can bring home some brochures if you’re interested, it’s all up to you.”
I nodded as Dad carried over the pan filled with onions and red wine and spooned the sauce over the steak on each plate with a plastic spoon. “Sure, sounds interesting.”