by Calinda B
“Are you going to talk to me? Or does this have to get ugly?”
Marni started to cry.
“Shhh, baby girl, don’t worry,” Jace said, jiggling her up and down. “Uncle Jace isn’t going to mess up Debbi’s face. He’s only going to get her to tell us where your mama is.” He gave Debbi a menacing glare. “Talk to me, Debbi. I know the kind of shit you do. I could easily make a call to someone to check up on you.”
“Okay,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “I’ll tell you what I know. She said she was going to head up to the islands, that’s all.”
“San Juan’s?” Jace asked.
The clatter of metal tools landing on concrete turned their heads. A guy working on the canoe had dropped a wrench.
Jace turned back to Debbi. “Well?”
“Yeah,” Debbi said, her eyes flicking to the guy who’d dropped the tools and back to Jace. She gave a subtle shake of her head.
“What was that?” Jace asked.
“What?” Debbi said.
“That sign you gave that guy.”
“It was nothing. Just letting him know I’m all right.”
“That’s debatable,” Jace said, filing away the guy’s ruddy, pock-marked face for future reference. “Keep talking.”
“Said she had business to take care of, and she didn’t know when she’d be back.”
Jace’s forehead creased. “What kind of business?”
“She didn’t say. Only that it was important.”
“How was she getting up there?”
“She didn’t tell me.” Debbi rubbed her arms with her hands. “It’s cold, Jace, I need to get back inside.”
“It’s seventy. You’ll live. Your drug cocktails are probably messing with your system.” His jaw grew tight. “Did she say where in the San Juan’s she was headed? There are several islands up there and a lot of water in between.”
Marni squirmed in the pack, sounding impatient. She let out a whine of protest.
Jace rocked back and forth. “Did she say? Tell me, Debbi. So help me, God, if you’re leaving something out and I find out about it….”
“That’s all I know, Jace, really.” She hugged herself tightly. “I have to get back inside.” Her eyes darted back and forth.
“Okay. If you hear anything…anything at all, you call me. You got that?”
“Yes,” Debbi said, her voice high and tight. “I hear you.”
“Don’t mess with me, Debbi. My frustration’s growing by the day. I’m this close to losing it.” He held up his thumb and forefinger, shaking it in front of Debbi’s face. He glanced at the sleaze-ball staring at him from inside the glass enclosure. He looks like someone who might need a fist to the jaw to be convinced to talk. “This close.” He began to shake with rage. In his mind, he heard Neil’s warning.
“You’ve got to stop using force to solve problems.” Jace sucked in a lungful of air, and released it through pinched, pursed lips.
She bent away from him. “I got it, I got it. If I hear anything you’ll be the first to know.” She reached for the metal door handle, pausing to look at him. “You’re good with her baby, you know that, right? Your sister makes a terrible mother.”
Jace sighed, his forehead furrowing into a deep frown. “Get out of here before I lose my temper. I’m only doing this because I must. Not because I want to.”
Marni began to cry in earnest as Debbi zipped away.
Jace began to walk, murmuring soothing sounds to his niece. “No, no, baby girl, that came out all wrong. Your Uncle Jace is sorry. I want your mama to step up to the plate, is all. I love you. Uncle Jace loves you.”
And why can’t I say that to my girl, Zoé? Too soon? Or too fucking scared?
Chapter 19
Zoé
Zoé sat in the kitchen before her laptop, a golden bouquet by her side, fingers poised over the keyboard. A glass of water stood next to her. The sun shone through the window, making it hard to see the screen, so she angled it slightly. This is a stupid idea, she thought. The last time I spied on a lover did not go well. She brought her finger to her lips and nibbled on her nail. Then, she stroked the place on her arms that had been covered with bruises after her last spy foray.
Having been lied to so many times, the “need to know” was a persistent, nagging voice inside her. Plus, look what happened to my family when no one questioned my brother? Her handsome brother, Denis, had been fun. He’d been popular. Jace reminded her of Denis. Everyone wanted to be Denis, know Denis and love Denis. But not knowing what was inside Denis’s head had been her families’ biggest mistake, ever. So, aren’t I doing myself a favor by finding out more?
People do it all the time, she countered. It’s like spying, she protested. He’ll think you don’t trust him. She drummed her fingers on the table. I don’t. How can I, given my track record? Unwilling to listen to reason, she started typing. Jace Savage, Port Townsend, WA.
Her fingers shook as page after page after page of information came up in the Google results. She clicked on the top one. Local Man Wins Award in Prestigious Photo Contest. Port Townsend Tribune. She skimmed the article, completely impressed. Jace beamed out of a photo, looking sexy as hell, making her pulse race. He held up a gold and glass statue and a giant check for twenty thousand dollars. He looks so proud. Further down the page she eyed the winning image —a photo of a black jaguar drinking water from a waterfall filled pool, a gorgeous sunset lighting his glossy pelt. Wow, the guy’s talented. How’d he get so close to that cat?
Finished with the article, she clicked the back button. She eyed the next one, chewing on her lip —Savage Bust in Rural Washington. Her fingers hovered over the keyboards. Don’t do this, she reasoned. She massaged her temples. I need to know who I’m dealing with.
Stomach in knots, she left-clicked her mouse.
In a somewhat blurred image, Jace held his hand up to the camera, trying to shield his face, holding onto a very beautiful blonde with his other hand. Kate. Mouth dry, she read, Port Townsend resident, Jace Savage, age 28, arrested at the home of his girlfriend, Kate Bethlehem, age 25. In one of the largest Ecstasy seizures ever in Washington, 45 kilograms of the drug with a minimum street value of almost $2 million were found at a Port Angeles house Friday during a series of law enforcement raids, authorities said Tuesday. Her eyes continued to skim but nothing registered, her heart pounded so hard. I’m dating a criminal. I’m in love with a drug lord.
She quickly closed the browser window, her eyes stinging with tears, and pressed her hand to her mouth.
“I’m in love with a bad guy,” she whispered. “Again.”
She’d done the same thing with Billy O’Reilly. Her search had turned up page after page of information. One article called him Bad News Billy. He’d been arrested on several drug charges but the charges had always been dismissed. After that, she tried to break up with him, telling him she didn’t want to date a criminal, but he told her he wasn’t done with her. He’d laughed when she’d told him about her online search. At least the first time.
The second time she’d confronted him, she hadn’t been as lucky. It had taken her months to pay off her medical bill. She’d never told a soul what happened, not even Tanya. The shame of letting herself get in that situation in the first place still lingered.
When her phone rang, she nearly jumped out of her skin, knocking her cup to the floor. The plastic tumbler bounced, spraying water everywhere.
“Damn, damn, damn!” she said, leaping to her feet. She glanced at the caller ID. “Jace! Get it together! He can’t know I know.” She tapped the connect icon, took a deep breath, and said, “Hi.”
Her voice was shaky and breathy.
“Hi,” he said, concern evident. “Everything okay?”
Crap, can he already read me? “Uh, yeah. Everything’s fine. I knocked my water glass on the floor. Hold on a sec while I clean up the mess.”
She tiptoed across the puddles, grabbed several paper towels, and dabbed at
the water until she’d soaked most of it up. Breathe, Dubois, breathe.
She squared her shoulders, picked up the phone, and said, “Okay, I’m back,” a little too brightly.
“Okay,” he said cautiously. “Are you sure everything’s all right?”
She pictured his vivid green eyes peering from his handsome face. Then, she thought of the picture of glam girl Kate and her mood soured even more. I’ll always be passed over for the beautiful girl. While I’m the safe, responsible one.
She ground her teeth. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He can’t know I snooped.
“Fine,” she said. “Everything’s fine.”
“Don’t bullshit me, Zoé. You know I don’t roll that way.”
She set the phone on the table, tapped the speaker button, and said, “Can you still hear me?”
“Yeah, I hear you. What’s going on?”
What do I say? She wrung her hands round and round. “I’m fine, Jace. Honest.”
“Out with it, Zoé. Tell me now, or I’m hanging up.”
Make something up! Anything! My dog died. I don’t have a dog. My grandma…my grandma…what? She’s already dead. Her breath came in quick, panicked puffs.
“Are you going to talk to me or am I going to disconnect the fucking phone?”
“Okay,” she said in a small voice. “Were you ever going to tell me you were arrested?”
A huge sigh met her ears. “Fucking hell, Zoé. What did you do? Google me?”
“Maybe.” Her voiced sounded far away.
She rubbed her arm, remembering Billy’s hands gripping her and the ugly bruises he left. Then, she stroked the back of her head where she’d hit the wall when he’d pushed her.
Another sigh blew through the phone like a gust of desert wind. “Fucking hell.”
“You’re right, Kate’s beautiful.”
“On the outside, yeah, she is.” He sounded dejected and tired.
“So, did you do much jail time? How did it all go down?” She tried to sound casual, like she was asking him about the weather or telling about some project she’d done for college.
“I didn’t do any jail time,” he said in that same monotone voice. “I was put in a holding cell until my boss, Neil, bailed me out.”
“The article said it was one of the biggest busts ever in Washington. How is that possible?” She blinked back tears.
“That was the headline. The whole thing got a lot of press, a lot of sensationalism played out.”
“I see.” She stood, walked to the sink, and plucked a paper towel from the dispenser. She held it under the faucet, watching the water dribble into the stainless-steel sink. Her hand clenched the moist paper, choking the life out of it, before pitching it into the plastic garbage can under the counter.
An aching silence filled the room.
“Baby.” Jace’s voice sounded hollow.
“What?” she said.
“Did you read anything else? Did you read the smaller article on page five or twelve or wherever it currently appears?”
“No. I closed the browser, figuring I did enough damage already.” Tears trickled down her cheeks, making wet splotches on her shirt.
Another big sigh poured through the phone. “You should have been more thorough. If you would have dug, you’d have found one small mention that I was acquitted. All charges against me were dropped.”
She pressed her thumb and forefinger to her eyes, trying to dam the waterworks. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. Because I didn’t do anything. Kate gave up the ringleader so she got probation. It was a rap on the knuckles not what she deserved. They knew I was a weak link. They used me to get to Kate. They used Kate to get to the supplier.”
“I see.” Her voice cracked.
“Are you crying? Don’t cry, baby. Please don’t cry. I’m not there to hold you.”
His kindness only made her cry harder. “I’m an idiot, Jace. I’m so sorry I spied on you.”
“Yeah,” he said. “The internet is pretty seductive for checking up on people.”
“You don’t give me much choice,” she blurted, wishing she could take back the words. Shit. Her ears filled with a weighted silence. “Jace?”
“I’m here.”
“Well, you don’t, you know. I have to beg for scraps of data on you.”
“Why do you have to dig? It’s my past, not yours. I want to put it behind me, where it belongs. But you’re like a backhoe, determined to keep digging it up, spreading bones all over the field.”
“I want to know you, that’s all.”
“There are parts of me I’d rather you didn’t know. Baby, please.” He sounded worn out. “I’ve done some shit I’m not proud of. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m wild and uncontrolled. I’m trying to make amends for the bad parts so I can keep living the good parts.”
“You’re not giving me enough to go on,” she said. It sounded like a whine. She hated to whine.
“Are you telling me I’m not enough for you?”
A hint of insecurity seeped through the tone of his words.
“No, Jace. I’m not saying that at all.”
“What then? Too much?”
She almost burst out laughing. “You’re pretty intense, that’s a fact.” Then, she thought of Billy and her hospital stay. “Please don’t hurt me,” she whispered.
“Hurt you? That’s the last thing I’d ever do. Where is this coming from?”
“From…” She’d felt so ashamed when Billy had hit her. He’d slammed her against the wall, threatening her if she ever told anyone what she’d seen or done with him, he’d come after her.
“Zoé?” Jace’s voice came through the phone like a caress. “Talk to me.”
“Billy…”
He snarled into the phone. “Billy, what?”
“He…he put me in the hospital. I did a search on him. I tried to break up with him, and he put me in the hospital. That’s how he broke up with me. I tried to do it earlier, but he wouldn’t hear of it. When he was done with me, well…” Tears began to stream from her eyes.
“I’m going to kill that motherfucker.” Jace’s intensity exploded through the phone. “What did he do to you?”
The memory of that night stuck in her throat like a huge hairball. She hadn’t told anyone—not her dad, not Tanya, no one. Instead, she’d passed it off as a clumsy fall. “I…” More tears assaulted her eyes. “He hurt me. Badly.”
“Shhh,” Jace soothed. “Tell me what he did.”
“He grabbed my arm so hard he left bruises. Then, he…” Her lungs heaved and shook as she tried to get the words out. Her sobs became so violent, she couldn’t speak.
“Baby, I’m here for you. God, I wish I was with you right now.”
“Me, too,” she stuttered. The wave of pain died down. “He grabbed my neck and slammed me against the wall. He tried to choke me. I’ve never been more scared in my life. I thought I was going to die. And he kept grinning at me, saying things like, ‘a cunt like you coming after a man like me? Dream on.’”
“Motherfucker,” Jace growled.
“I got to the hospital. They treated me for a concussion. My neck and my arms were so bruised. I felt so…so…so ashamed. Who’s stupid enough to let themselves get hurt like that? Me, that’s who.” Another wave of tears battered her eyes to get free. She shook with the force of feelings.
“I’d never hurt you, Zoé. Never in a million years.”
“Okay.” Deep sobs poured from her lungs.
“Zoé. Sweetheart. I hate to hear you cry like this. Listen to me. Billy’s pure rot gut. He’s evil to the core.”
“Yeah.” She stood and made her way to the counter to get a paper towel. She wiped her eyes and her nose.
“He is. He’s a cocksucker with a trust fund who gets away with everything thanks to daddy’s checkbook.”
“Uh huh.”
“I want to hold you.”
“I want that, too.” She sniffled.
“Then come outside.
”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
She dropped the phone on the table and ran toward the front door. She flung it open and stared, mouth gaping, at Jace, sitting in his idling truck in her driveway.
He grinned at her through his open window.
“What are you…?”
He opened the truck door and slid out. “Just got here. I wanted to surprise you. Come here. I don’t have much time.”
She closed the gap between them, throwing her arms around his neck.
He wrapped her tightly in his embrace. “It’s so hard to hear you cry when I couldn’t comfort you,” he said. He kissed her hair. He eased back and kissed her cheeks, her lips, her jaw. Then, he drew her close again. “I’d never hurt you. Billy’s a dick.”
“But not a very big one.” Zoé smiled, pressing her face into his neck. She let out a small chuckle.
Jace laughed. He pulled away from her and cupped her chin with his hand. Gazing intently into her eyes, he said, “Are you good?”
“Yes. I’m good. You’re the only person who knows what he did to me.”
Jace shook his head. “I want to pulverize that guy.”
“He’s not worth it.”
His face grew serious. “Are we good?”
She nodded. “Yes. We’re good.”
He let out a long sigh. “Thank you.” Then, he slung his arm over her shoulders. He guided her to the passenger seat. After opening the truck door, he scooted into the passenger seat and patted his lap. “Hop on.”
His eyes glittered, dark and lusty. He unzipped his jeans, freeing his cock.
After checking no one was in the vicinity, she eyed him, her mood of vulnerability quickly turning to lust.
“Jace! Cover yourself!”
“That’s your job, baby.”
“Out here?” she spluttered.
“We don’t have much time.”
“But the neighbors will see us.”
“I don’t see anyone watching, do you?”
Her face burned with heat. “Jace.”
“This thing can’t wait much longer, baby.”
“I can’t do it out here.” Her attention darted in every direction. “Someone might see us.”