by Carol Oates
He chuckled, shaking his head, and she looked back down to her plate. She didn’t enjoy being mocked.
“You are young. Your body is full of hormones, and you are excited easily. Maybe already a little excited from an earlier encounter that evening?”
Again, the slow blush was rising from her chest. I really wish he would stop that.
“Now you know her limitations: she can’t touch you. Sebastian, on the other hand…it seems he isn’t entirely finished enjoying Ananchel—”
“You call that enjoying?” She cut him off briskly.
“I call that ex-sex.”
Candra opened her mouth to say something but was struck dumb when it hit her like a barrel to the chest. Ananchel and Sebastian. Her stomach twisted, and she thought she might be sick…Sebastian and Ananchel.
Clearly judging by her shocked expression, Draven knew she wasn’t going to speak and went on. “Some physical connections can be quite intense and hard to let go of. For years, Sebastian told her every time was the last time and then came back for more. Ananchel won’t bother him again, now she knows he really doesn’t want it.”
Lofi had told her Ananchel didn’t hold back; she hadn’t told her it was because it was some depraved game of cat and mouse between the two of them, that he wanted Ananchel to do it to him. Candra wanted to make some sharp retort to show Draven that she didn’t care, that it didn’t bother her in the slightest, but absolutely nothing came to mind, and she did care. In fact she cared a great deal, because it was Sebastian, and he belonged with her…except she knew he didn’t, and she intended to promise to be with Draven.
“How close are you?” Candra probed bitterly, beginning to get the impression that any man interested in her had already experienced Ananchel in full, glorious Technicolor.
In a flash, Draven turned her seat to face him, gripping it on either side of her hips with his legs trapping hers. She gasped in a breath in shock at his unexpected movements. His wide, dark eyes shone with speckles of gold, and Candra was so close she could clearly make out the blood pounding under the tanned skin of his throat below his ear. His piercing gaze darted to her lips and back to her eyes. Candra could feel the energy sizzle between them. Draven smirked devilishly.
“Are you jealous?”
Candra attempted to swivel her seat away from him, trying her utmost to appear unaffected by his nearness, but it was difficult. She was affected…again. Every drop of fiery blood coursing through her body to gather in the pit of her stomach told her so. She gulped loudly and felt the hairs on the backs of her arms bristle; she wasn’t jealous, at least not for the reasons she presumed Draven would want to believe. She was jealous of Ananchel because when Ananchel wanted something she went after it. She was fearless with men. Unlike Candra.
With Draven, there was an animal attraction between them, a deep basic instinct to fulfill the desire Candra felt for him physically. With Sebastian, there was also a strong physical attraction, coupled with the emotional connection that was growing between them unbounded. Yet, she stood between them, confused and scared to act on either.
Draven moved closer, shifting forward until her knees brushed the inseam of his jeans. If she didn’t stop him, he would kiss her. She hated that one part of her was so curious to know what it would feel like, but that there was the other part that knew it wasn’t Draven that she really wanted to kiss. Candra lifted her hand quickly, blocking him by pressing her hand into his solid chest, and at the same time she leaned away from him.
“Wait.”
He hesitated and leaned away, in the process loosening his grip on her stool.
“Are you doing this? Is it real?”
He looked deeply offended—wounded even—and moved back to his previous position at the counter. “I crossed my heart, didn’t I? I’m not sure what other assurance I can offer. I’ve already said I wouldn’t use my persuasion on you.” He proceeded to take an exaggerated swig from his glass, and another puzzle piece shifted into place for Candra.
Draven wasn’t used to hearing no.
“I’m sorry,” she defended sternly. “It’s just…not only am I not sure who I can trust, now I’m also afraid to trust my own feelings, or my own body, for that matter.”
He looked at her sideways, all the fire obliterated from his eyes, leaving them looking like black ice in an ocean of navy. “Why? Because you want to kiss me? It may surprise you to know that plenty of women do want to kiss me of their own volition.” He got up and grabbed his plate, taking it to the sink.
“Maybe that’s what’s confusing then,” Candra offered, frowning.
He spun on the balls of his feet and raised his eyebrows, looking confused.
“You’re rich, attractive—” Candra stopped when he scowled at her choice of words, like a little kid being refused ice-cream. She smiled. “Okay, you are very attractive…better?” He nodded, pacified, and she continued. “You’ve been around forever, so you’ve had plenty of time to experience life and to learn about…well, basically everything. I don’t—and I say this, not putting myself down in the slightest, because let’s face it, I’m fairly fabulous—”
Draven crossed his arms over his chest and pressed his lips together to stifle a chuckle, making Candra’s smile wider.
“Why, out of all the women who must hurl themselves at you on a daily basis, would you choose me, someone who’s indifferent to you, someone who is only with you because you aren’t giving me any other choice?”
He sighed deeply, still smiling and looking down at his wriggling toes. “You’re right…”
Her brow creased; for some insane reason she didn’t expect him to agree with her. He was the one offering, requesting…demanding her presence, she justified. He bit the side of his lip on the inside and looked up at her through those thick eyelashes of his and smirked, making her stomach instantly somersault.
“I could have women, if I wanted that, but why would I? Emotionless physical relationships are not for me. You are an enigma, Candra.” Draven paused and rubbed the back of his neck. “You are quite the most intriguing creature it has ever been my experience to encounter. I consider you a challenge.”
Candra stood and began to clear the table, unsure if she should be offended or pleased by Draven’s assessment of her. And what was that about emotionless physical relationships? Why not come out cleanly and say that is where he was insinuating Sebastian’s interests lay?
“A challenge? Just something to be broken in, is that what I am? Not exactly words to sweep a girl off her feet.”
Candra didn’t see him move or feel him come from behind her until she felt his hot breath on her cheek. His face was at her shoulder, and his hard chest pressed to her back. His thumb slowly grazed across her hip, and his voice was as smooth as melting ice next to her ear.
“No, Candra. You are a beautiful flower…the most beautiful flower, and you need the correct care and attention to blossom to your full potential. I want to help you discover what we can achieve together. I have been waiting for you for a thousand lifetimes. You have no concept of how much I need you to want me.”
His breath tickled against her heated skin, smelling of brandy, fresh bread, and garlic.
“That’s better,” Candra told him through a shaky breath, questioning whether he knew the effect he had on her insides, making them swirl and melt. She hated that Draven wasn’t going to be so easy to dismiss.
Lofi pulled up at the curb the very moment Candra walked from the building. The concierge nodded graciously, a custom she had yet to get used to. She nodded back awkwardly and rushed to the waiting car.
“You could have told me, Lofi.” She sighed grumpily, while trying her best to get her seatbelt locked before Lofi took off.
She was still trying as Lofi left smoke trails on the road.
“Now, which bit of information are we talking about? You know I could have told you a lot of things, but I was under gag orders from so many people that I lost track.”
&nb
sp; “Ananchel and Sebastian.”
“I told you about them,” she answered quickly, weaving around several cars and leaving Candra bouncing in her seat. Lofi’s hair was back to being tinged with pink.
“You didn’t tell me they were an item.”
She rolled her eyes and chuckled lightly. “I would hardly have called them an item…but yes, at one time there was an agreement between them.”
“Ew.” Candra crossed her arms over her chest and turned to look out the window at the streets whizzing by.
“The thing with Ananchel was, she really didn’t know when to let go.” Lofi sighed. “Believe me, even when they were together, it wasn’t a pretty sight when he eventually managed to tear himself away.”
“I still say it’s ew.”
She laughed again. “I hope you aren’t jealous?”
Candra’s head whipped around to look at Lofi, but thankfully, given the speed they were traveling, she was watching the road. Candra looked away again, pulling her hair down over her cheeks that were beginning to exhibit a distinct rosy glow.
“Anyway,” Lofi went on, “what difference does it make? As soon as the ball is over, Sebastian will be out of your life. We’re leaving Acheron.”
“You’re leaving?” Candra squeaked in an embarrassing high voice.
“Sebastian and I are. Gabe is staying with Brie, until…well, he wants to be with her as long as he can.”
Candra stared ahead, pressing her hand to her chest—it suddenly felt constricted and hot, and her throat felt as if it was closing in.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lofi’s gaze flicker to her. “Really, Candra, do you even know what Draven’s plans are for you two? And did you think Sebastian would stick around to watch?”
Candra nodded sadly, reminded again that this was happening. It was really happening. This was no fairy tale princess ball; there was no happily ever after waiting for her when the clock struck twelve. This was real life, where time was infinite and there were no happy endings or absolutes. There would be too many people left to imagine the what-ifs.
Ivy was waiting on the steps outside the townhouse when they got home, currently sporting wavy red hair with thick chunks of auburn and chocolate worked through. It suited her. For the first time in a long time, Ivy looked like Ivy. She looked like Candra’s friend and not the girl who was trying to be a reflection of what people perceived her to be.
It suddenly flashed through Candra’s mind suddenly how similar their situations were—not that Ivy was being pressured to commit herself to the leader of a group of angels in order to prevent Armageddon, but just that they were both trying so hard to be what they were expected to be. It wasn’t because it would make them happy; it was simply because they couldn’t figure out another way to make sense of what was going on in their lives.
As Candra got out of the car, a sudden feeling of dread descended upon her. Ivy walked toward her, smiling brightly as always, except for the distrustful glance in Lofi’s direction. Candra was wondering if Draven expected her to leave Ivy behind too. Everyone seemed to think any relationships from her past would be severed. She was losing the only mother she’d ever known; she was losing several tentative friendships. Would she be expected to walk away from school, her friend…to leave everything? A pain twisted in the pit of her stomach. She already knew the answer—Draven expected her to start fresh, and there was no way that could happen here. It suddenly dawned on Candra that he could be planning to move her anywhere. She was too caught up in wondering why he wanted her to ask herself what he was going to do with her once he had her.
“Hey you.” Ivy grinned as Candra got closer.
“Hi,” she mumbled in return.
Ivy’s expression suddenly shifted to serious, her eyes darting between Lofi and Candra, and then Lofi leaned into Candra so Ivy couldn’t hear.
“The keeping-this-to-yourself thing?”
Candra tightened her eyes curiously.
“Screw it,” Lofi finished.
Candra frowned. Where could she even begin to explain to her friend what had been going on? How could she ever believe any of this?
“You need your friend now, Candra,” Lofi whispered. “She’s the only one you stand a chance of hanging onto in all this mess.” She smiled sadly and trotted up the steps, glancing quickly to them over her shoulder before going through the door.
Candra turned her face upward speculatively to the rooftops of the surrounding houses, seeing the guards still perched and watching her with a mixture of trepidation and curiosity. It was like they were waiting, just as Draven had said. As if they expected her to explode at any moment. With a heavy sigh, she sank down onto one of the porch steps.
Ivy sat down beside her, glancing up at the rooftops, bemused because she could see nothing. “I think it’s time for you to talk about what’s going on.”
Candra let her head fall forward into her hands and laughed humorlessly.
“Candra?” Ivy asked worriedly.
Candra turned her head, resting it on her forearms across her knees. “Do you remember the story of Cassandra?”
Ivy’s mouth tightened, and she looked away briefly. Candra could see the cogs of her brain were working, trying to recall the story.
“The one cursed to see the future,” Candra prompted.
“Oh, yeah.” Ivy beamed, finally remembering. “She was given the gift of foresight by Apollo. She was a harbinger or something—”
“Or something. It was a curse,” Candra cut her off. “He wanted her, but she didn’t return his feelings, so she was cursed to know things, to see things…but no one would ever believe her. That’s how I feel right now.”
Ivy stared at Candra blankly, not understanding. Not that Candra expected her to.
“I’ve seen things, and I know what the future could become, unless I stop it…but no one can help me, even if I could get them to believe me.”
“What’s going on?” Ivy asked, irritated and scratching her head.
Candra groaned, shielding her eyes again.
“The thing about being given warnings about the future is you’ll never know if it’s self-fulfilling, like whether it happens because you know,” Ivy said.
Candra peeked up at her. “But that’s destiny, right? I mean…everything is so absolute.”
Ivy quirked an eyebrow. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but the one thing I do know is that nothing is absolute. We have a choice. It’s the joy of being human…free will.”
Candra grunted and sank her face back into her arms.
Gabe walked out just then. He ruffled Candra’s hair, walking past. “Hello, Candra. How was your lunch date?”
She looked up to him, squinting. Looking at Gabe was like looking at one of those soft-toned light bulbs—just enough not to blind but enough to make it difficult not to look away. She couldn’t hold any of what was happening against him, as much as she wanted to blame someone.
“It was fine. How was yours?” Candra smirked and watched him scratch his neck awkwardly.
He and Brie were spending a lot of time together lately, and Candra was only a little conflicted about it. Gabe was a pretty straight up guy from what Candra knew of him, which was little. He played the part of big brother to Sebastian and Lofi. Sebastian obviously trusted him a great deal and valued his opinion. Clearly Gabe hadn’t expected Sebastian to argue with him when Gabe had wanted to tell her about the Watchers. Candra had concluded, based on that, Sebastian usually took his views into consideration.
It was Gabe that had picked up the slack and kept the Tenebras in line while Sebastian searched for Brie. He seemed shy in some ways and a little reserved, but with an intensity behind his eyes that warned he wasn’t one to mess with. Since the day Candra met him, he had never once tried to influence her decisions. His main goal appeared to be supporting Brie in any way he could. On one hand, Candra wanted Brie to have someone when she was gone. On the other, he was an angel, and no good could com
e of that. He would never age; their time together would be over in a blink of an eye…unless he fell. Angel relationships were a treacherous course to chart.
“Hmm, yeah,” was all he said, but his grin spoke volumes, clearly a success. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye.” Candra smiled sweetly, wriggling her fingers at him.
“What is it with you and the hotties these days?” Ivy asked, fanning her face. “This place is hottie central; maybe we should start having sleepovers again.”
Candra chuckled, nudging Ivy with her shoulder. “I think my room is overcrowded enough as it is with Sebastian sprawled all over it every night.” The words were out before she caught herself, and she scowled at her blunder when she heard Ivy’s shocked gasp.
It was too much to wish Ivy would miss Candra’s slip up.
“What? You’re sleeping with him?” Ivy demanded aghast. “Beautiful, creepy stalker guy?”
“No,” Candra squealed an octave higher than necessary. “Of course not.”
“But he sleeps in your room?” she pushed, wide-eyed.
Candra grimaced, which Ivy appeared to take as affirmation.
“I want to tell you about it, I just can’t. I don’t know where to start.”
“You can’t?” Ivy echoed dubiously. “Just can’t…just like that?”
“No.”
“We used to talk about everything,” she sighed, mirroring Candra’s stance so they were both resting their heads on their forearms and watching each other sideways.
Candra glanced up to the figures on the rooftops again and recalled how she had thought them gargoyles at first. Gargoyles were scary to her even now. They had terrified her as a child, and suddenly a memory came flooding back.
She and her father had been out taking a walk one winter. It had become dark early as it only could in the city. She was frightened by the gargoyles on one of the more darkly gothic houses in the vicinity of the park, convinced that its position had shifted and its head had turned to follow them. Even before that day, Candra had had dreams of the gargoyles in Acheron moving and had been convinced they were coming for her. She remembered her dad sweeping her up into his arms and promising her that they would never hurt her, that they were only dreams. He’d said the grotesque creatures only looked scary so that they could chase the really bad stuff away, and that they were really there to protect her.