Snowbound with the Soldier

by Jennifer Faye

  “But there’s Samantha to consider.”

  “I know. But you said the biological father isn’t part of her life. We’ll just petition him to relinquish his rights.” When Kara didn’t say anything, Jason squeezed her hand. “Will the man give us problems?”

  The backs of her eyes stung and Jason’s image blurred. “Not like you’re thinking. But there’s something important you need to know.”

  * * *

  Jason’s gut churned as it used to do when he was out on patrol in hostile territory. Right now his internal radar system was telling him to duck for cover.

  Until this moment, he didn’t understand how much Samantha had come to mean to him in such a short period of time. Only a couple of months ago, if someone had told him he was a father, Jason would have been in total denial. Now, he’d no more be able to deny his connection to Samantha than he could deny his love for her mother. He was more than ready to step up and accept a role in Samantha’s life—in both of their lives.

  “We’ll deal with it together,” he said, with all the confidence in the world. “What’s the guy’s name?”

  He’d had long enough to come to terms with Samantha being another man’s child. He didn’t like it, but at least now he could think about it without losing his temper.

  “You don’t understand....”

  “I know this is hard, but just tell me his name.”

  Kara’s face paled to a sickly white, and her bottom lip trembled. “Before I do, there’s something you have to understand.”

  The raw emotion in her eyes ripped at his gut. Jason stood on the cusp of losing the future he’d come to dream of—the future he desperately wanted. His arms dropped to his sides and his hands clenched into tight balls. No, this can’t be happening.

  “Don’t do this.” The hoarse words tore from his throat.

  A single tear dropped onto her cheek. She swiped it away.

  “I’m sorry, but you need to hear the truth—the whole truth.”

  He was a man who’d been on the front line of combat, who’d faced the enemy and never considered backing down. But at this moment, he wanted to make a hasty retreat. His eyes searched out the door, yet his feet wouldn’t cooperate. Running from the truth wouldn’t change it.

  “Whatever you have to say, I can deal with it,” he said. He had to.

  He loved them.

  The revelation stole the air from his lungs. He wanted Kara and Samantha more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life, including restoring his family’s resort. He couldn’t let this thing between them end before it had barely begun.

  Surely whatever she had to say couldn’t be nearly as bad as what he’d told her. Kara was just overreacting. If she could forgive and accept him, then he could do the same for her now. After all, wasn’t that the foundation of a good relationship—being able to forgive each other?

  “When you left—” Kara’s voice cracked. She started again. “After you’d ended our engagement with no explanation, I was devastated.”

  She pressed her lips together and swallowed. “For a couple of months I hid in my room. I cried my eyes out, trying to figure out what I’d done wrong to make you leave. I hoped and prayed you’d change your mind and come back for me.” She paused, sucking in an unsteady breath. “I even asked your father for your phone number or address, any way I could get in contact with you.”

  “I didn’t let him know where I was stationed. I even changed my last name, to make it impossible for him.”

  “Your father sounded so broken up when he told me he hadn’t heard from you. I was totally lost and I hurt so badly. My friends rallied around me. They said I needed to forget you and get on with my life. They insisted I go out with them to a party. But they didn’t understand. How could they understand what you and I shared?”

  Her words were like a sledgehammer, beating at his chest. Jason opened his mouth, searching for an apology. Unable to find words to express the depth of his regret, he closed his mouth. She wouldn’t even look at him now. Her hands were clenched in her lap. He wanted to reach out to her, but his nerve faltered.

  Kara had never been a partier. She’d much rather be doing outdoor sports than watching her friends get drunk. Something must have happened at that party. His chest struggled for each breath as he waited.

  The silence flowed on. Her pink lips trembled. He’d always been drawn by them. Surprised he’d noticed them now of all times, he continued to stare. The temptation to smother them in a reassuring kiss and erase the rest of this doomed story overrode his apprehension. He stepped forward. Maybe just one kiss could change this perilous course they were on, but logic told him it’d only delay the inevitable. This journey had been preordained years ago.

  He pulled his foot back and took a firm stance. “Kara, whatever it is, just say it.”

  “At the party,” she said, giving him a hesitant glance, “I found a dark corner and stayed there. I regretted going, but since I hadn’t driven, I had to wait for my ride. Anyway, someone decided I needed to loosen up, so they spiked my drink. When I realized what they’d done, I hesitated. I wasn’t thinking clearly, but they convinced me that the drink would take the edge off the pain.”

  She paused, her eyes not meeting his. One by one, each muscle in his body grew rigid, while a sickening feeling brewed in his gut.

  “I was young and stupid. I don’t have any other excuse for what happened next. One drink led to another and another. You know I didn’t drink, so it didn’t take long before I was feeling good—too good.” She rubbed her hands together. “Shaun showed up. Someone had called him when they found me wasted. He took care of me....”

  Jason’s uneasiness ramped up to an excruciating pain, as though he’d been riddled with bullets, left on the side of the road to die a slow, agonizing death. He wanted to be there for Kara, just as she’d been there for him, but this...this was different.

  “I was wrong,” he said, his voice hoarse. “I don’t want to hear this.”

  He took a step toward the door.

  “You have to listen.” The eerie, high-pitched tone of her voice put a stop to his retreat. “You can’t run away. Not this time.”

  His teeth ground together. His jaw flexed. The door was in sight, but the determination in Kara’s voice told him that she’d follow him this time. He summoned up the courage he’d clung to on the battlefield, and turned.

  Kara stood now. Her gaze held his with a fierce determination. “You weren’t there to help me—but like always, Shaun filled in. He was your lifelong best friend. We had been the Three Musketeers. I trusted him almost as much as I trusted you.”

  She dashed away another tear. “He attempted to sober me up. He took me to his car, intent on getting me home.”

  Jason felt trapped on a runaway train. His life whizzed past him and there was no way to get off. He could only hold on, bracing for the devastating collision with the truth.

  “On the way, I started to cry. Shaun pulled off on one of the desolate country roads. It was late and there wasn’t any traffic. He tried to comfort me—”

  “Stop.” Jason’s voice thundered in the room. He couldn’t bear to hear any more.

  The stabbing pain in his chest had him glancing down, searching for blood. He took a moment to gather his shattered illusions.

  “Shaun is Samantha’s father?” he asked, stumbling to latch on to this fact.

  Kara nodded. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks. “Yes, he is.”

  The brown hair and blue eyes made sense now. Jason and Shaun had been mistaken all their lives for brothers because of their similar looks.

  Shaun. His best friend.

  And Kara. Kara! The only woman he’d ever loved.

  How was it possible his girl and his best friend had created a baby?

  Pain spanned
from temple to temple. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be some kind of sick, twisted nightmare. Kara and Shaun never would have betrayed him like this.

  Jason’s breath came in short, rapid puffs.

  “This can’t be right. Kara, tell me it isn’t true. Tell me you’re saying this to get even with me for leaving you, and none of it is true.”

  “I can’t.”

  “But how? Why?” The questions tumbled through his mind. “Did you always have a thing for him?”

  “No. It was a mistake. A combination of too much to drink, a deep aching loneliness and hearing that Shaun loved me.”

  “He loved you?” Would the blows never stop coming?

  “He admitted that he loved me, but up until then he hadn’t been able to do anything about it, because of you....”

  Jason ran a hand over his mouth, trying to remember some sign, some hint he’d missed. “I had no idea. How could I have been so blind?”

  “You weren’t the only one. I didn’t know, either.”

  Her words didn’t comfort him. Inside, he was mortally wounded, worse than when his father had smacked him in the face with the truth about his parentage. Jason had thought nothing could hurt worse than that, but he had been oh so wrong.

  His vision grew blurry as he looked at Kara, no longer seeing the woman he loved, but rather the woman who’d betrayed him with his best friend, and stolen away the child he’d so wanted to be his little girl.

  “Why?” His voice croaked out. “Why him?”

  If it had been anyone else in the world, he’d have been able to deal with it. But not the one guy he’d considered a brother.

  He had been wrong.

  He couldn’t forgive this.

  If that made him less of a man, more a coward, so be it.

  Shaun being the father of Kara’s little girl made Jason’s stomach lurch. The thought of his best friend and the woman he’d wanted to marry clinging to each other—Shaun’s lips on hers—made the bile rush to the back of his mouth. Jason swallowed hard, pushing down the sickening thought.

  When Kara opened her mouth to speak, he held up a hand to stop her. “Don’t answer. I don’t want to hear it. I can’t believe you betrayed me with my best friend.”

  He couldn’t stay here any longer. He was going to be ill.

  In a few quick strides, barely noticing his injured knee’s protest, he reached the door. His hand paused on the doorknob for just a moment. With a shake of his head to clear away the image of Kara in Shaun’s arms, he yanked open the door and rushed into the frigid, dark night.

  He’d never been so sick or so alone in his entire life.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  HER PREDICTION HAD come true.

  In this instance, Kara hated being right. But just as soon as Jason heard about her youthful mistake, he’d done exactly what she’d worried he would do...run. Of course, part of it was her fault. She’d waited too long to tell him about Shaun, and she hadn’t prepared Jason at all. The whole situation couldn’t have been handled any worse if she had tried.

  Days had passed since that fateful night and Jason had completely avoided her, both in and out of the office. The devastation of him turning away like this made her anxious to find a new job. She’d let herself get in too deep with him. She’d let herself trust him, rely on him. In that instant, she realized how he’d sneaked past her best defenses.

  She’d fallen in love with him.

  She wasn’t in love with the boy he used to be, the youth of her memories. No, she loved the man who’d saved her from a snowstorm and opened his home to her. The man who’d put her and Samantha’s happiness above his own by taking time away from renovating the resort to decorate cookies and read a bedtime story.

  What if Kara had told him she loved him? Would he have still walked out the door? Probably. He was unable to accept that she’d had a child with his best friend. The fact that their engagement had been officially dissolved at the time seemed completely immaterial to him.

  But none of it mattered now. Whatever she’d thought they were building together was over and done. She had to focus on the new job she’d been offered in Ohio. It was in the next state, not that far from her family...or Jason, not that he’d ever visit them.

  “Mommy, Mommy, look.” Samantha hurried into the kitchen, holding a folded piece of red construction paper.

  “What do you have there?”

  “A Christmas card. See?” She held it two inches from Kara’s face.

  A step back allowed Kara’s eyes to adjust and focus on the highly decorated paper. She noticed the green cutout of a Christmas tree and the shape of an angel at the top, reminiscent of the tree topper Jason had given them. Kara’s bottom lip started to tremble at the thought of never having him drop by their house with little gifts for Samantha, or just to share a cup of hot cider and discuss his day with her.

  “Do you like it?” Samantha asked, jarring Kara back to the present.

  “It’s lovely. You did a great job. But didn’t we have a long talk about you not using the glue without asking?”

  “Uh-huh. But it was a surprise.”

  “I understand, but don’t do it again.” She didn’t have the heart to be more assertive. “You’re quite the artist. I like how you used glitter to make the garland on the tree.”

  Her daughter ducked her head and shrugged. “I wanted it to look just like the tree Jason gave us.”

  Kara swallowed the lump that formed in her throat at the mention of his name. She had yet to tell Samantha that he wouldn’t be coming to visit anymore. She knew it must be done sooner rather than later, but she also knew how attached her daughter was to him. How in the world was Kara supposed to break her heart?

  “I have another picture I have to finish.” Samantha turned and started out of the room.

  “Wait,” Kara called. “Don’t you want me to put your card on the fridge?”

  “Uh-uh. I made it for Jason.”

  Kara picked up the card and opened it. “Merry Christmas, Jason. We miss you. XOXOXO Samantha.”

  This was the moment she’d been dreading. Kara backed against the counter for support. “But honey, he’s really busy with the resort. I don’t know if he’ll have time to visit again.”

  Samantha pressed her hands onto her hips. “Then you can give it to him at work.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “You have to. Promise?”

  Unable to deny helping her daughter with this gesture of kindness, Kara said, “I promise.”

  “Don’t forget.”

  She wouldn’t forget the card or Jason. Although she couldn’t wait around for something that obviously wasn’t meant to be. She’d been down this road before, but this time she knew she had to move on—to do what was best for her and Samantha. No matter how much it hurt.

  * * *

  Jason leaned back in his office chair late Thursday morning. He ran a hand through his hair, not caring if he messed it up. He didn’t have any appointments, just a huge stack of mail, files to review and invoices to sign. He’d spent most of the week working on the lift on the double-diamond run. It’d taken three tries to get the right parts for such an old piece of equipment, but at last they’d done it. Things were finally on track for the grand reopening in two more days.

  He’d spent months working toward this moment, and now that it was almost here, he should be excited, bursting with happiness. But without Kara and Samantha around to share his accomplishment, he was empty inside. They’d provided him with the driving force to overcome unforeseen problems and the strength to push through the long hours.

  He picked up the phone to dial Kara’s extension, but then slammed it back down. He had no idea what to say to her. Now that he’d had time to calm down and think everything through, he realiz
ed how poorly he’d reacted to her admission. What had he expected? For her to be a saint, and loyal, after the horrible way he’d ended their engagement and left town without even an explanation?

  He had only himself to blame for everything that had happened. His heart pounded with unrelenting exasperation. How could he have handled this situation so horribly? Maybe he was more like the man who raised him than he’d ever imagined—unreliable. Jason found it strange how he found himself in such a similar position to the one his dad had been in years ago, both of them loving a woman who had a child by another man.

  Jason’s head hung low and shame washed over him at the way he’d failed while his father had succeeded. His dad had moved past the fact that Jason’s mom was pregnant with another man’s child. He’d married her and raised her baby as his own. Jason had to give the man credit; he’d tried to be a good father.

  Jason shook his head. He hadn’t even stepped up to the plate and welcomed the woman he loved and the daughter of his heart into his life. His hands clenched. Instead, he had lived up to Kara’s worst nightmares and walked away from her. Again. She’d predicted that this was how he’d react when things got to be too much for him, and he’d proven her right.

  There’d be no going back this time.

  He ran his hands over his face. He’d really screwed up. Anger over his knee-jerk reaction balled up in his gut. After she’d forgiven him for leaving her, and accepted him, screwed-up genes and all, he’d overreacted to something she’d done years ago in a moment of confusion and pain.

  A deep, guttural groan grew in the back of his throat. He’d ruined everything. His eyes closed as he tried to block it all out. Kara’s image refused to fade away. The anguished look in her green eyes ripped at his gut. He clenched his hand and slammed it down on the desktop, making everything shake. The desk calendar fell over, a pen rolled off the edge and the stack of paperwork requiring his attention teetered over, spilling onto the floor.

  With a frustrated sigh, he rose to his feet, surveying the mess of files and correspondence. He placed everything in a haphazard stack on his desk. Maybe some work would take his mind off the chaos he’d made of everyone’s lives.