by Kelly Oram
I felt my face heat up so much I figured I’d melt the snow the instant I got off the lift.
“He told me he asked you to be his girlfriend. You said no because of Aiden?”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just nodded.
Mom took a breath as if knowing she was about to say something awkward. “I know it’s not my place to tell you who to date. But honey, Grayson has been so good for you. I think you should tell him yes.”
“Oh my gosh, Mom! You did not just say that!”
I couldn’t believe it. My own mother was playing matchmaker!
At my mortification, my mother became determined. “Having a boyfriend is a perfectly normal part of being a teenager, and I don’t want you to miss out on such a special experience because of my mistakes.” She stopped then and frowned at me. “Having a boyfriend is okay, but no sex while you’re still in high school, do you hear me?”
“Agh!” I shrieked in horror and threw my hands over my ears. “We are not talking about this!”
“I’m serious. If he tries to take your clothes off, I will kill him. You tell him I said that.”
“No! I will not tell him you said that! I’m not telling anyone we had this conversation! In fact, I’m forgetting we had this conversation! Agh!”
We hit the top of the mountain, and I have never been so grateful to be off a ski lift in my life. Tara and Grayson were waiting for us at the top. I blushed even worse the second Grayson smiled at me. My mom saw that smile and was probably interpreting it in a million different ways.
“Owen and Libby just took off down the mountain. I think they had some kind of bet going. Libby was saying that understanding angles and aerodynamics made her the superior jumper.”
I shook my head. “She was probably just saying that stuff to freak him out. She is an awesome jumper, though. She grew up on the mountain because her dad’s a professional snowboarder.”
“No way!”
“It’s true,” my mom said. “We’ve been to a few of his competitions over the years.”
When I heard my mom’s voice, I cringed and grabbed Tara’s hand. “Come on,” I said desperately. “I’m ready to ski.”
“Don’t you want to wait for your other friends?”
“Pam and Chloe were right behind me. Grayson and Mom can wait for them.”
I tugged Tara with me down the mountain. Of course it only occurred to me once I reached the bottom that the minute I ditched them my mom probably told Grayson what she said to make me so upset. If he said anything about it, I was going to die. LITERALLY DIE!
We stayed out on the mountain until dusk and then picked up a bunch of pizza on the way to the condo. We stuffed ourselves silly, and then after an embarrassing serenade to the tune of Happy Birthday over a huge, blazing red velvet cake, I was showered with a mound of presents.
Movie tickets from Owen. A membership to the Museum of Natural History from Mom. Sunglasses and earrings from Chloe. A pair of high-heeled boots from Pamela—she seemed dead set on adding a few inches to my height whenever possible. The science club went in together on the entire collection of MythBusters DVDs, complete with a Jamie and Adam bobble head set—so awesome!
Grayson handed me his gift last. I was instantly curious as to what he got me for my birthday. He’d given me something every year for as long as I could remember. When we were younger it was things like Play-Doh or Barbie dolls, which I’m sure his mother picked. When he was old enough to shop for himself, the gifts turned into things like fake mustache kits and fart machines. Somehow, this year, I didn’t think he shopped for my gift at Spencer’s.
I tore off the paper and laughed when I saw the purple and pink heart-covered diary with a lock on it. Then I looked closer. Grayson had written a title on the cover for me with black permanent marker. The journal was apparently called “Avery Shaw’s Secret Grayson Kennedy Love Diary.” Beneath the title in smaller letters it said, “Every gruesome, girly detail of Post Shower Avery and Grayson. (With lots of exclamation points, smiley faces, and hearts!!!!)”
I felt my eyebrows fly up, and when I looked at Grayson, his eyes twinkled. “I couldn’t let that boring thing you call a journal be your only record of the Avery Shaw Experiment. It’s missing all the good stuff!”
He pulled a tiny key from his pocket and unlocked the book. He flipped it open to show me that the first few pages were already filled.
“I figured you might need some help getting started, so I went ahead and wrote down some of your thoughts on a few of your favorite A.S.E. moments so far.”
“My thoughts?”
Grayson’s grin widened to dimple status. “That’s right. I’m sure you’ll find it extremely accurate. I specifically recall you going into some detail about my broad shoulders and eyes like the ocean as you sat across from me at dinner that first night. I had no idea you were so attracted to me, Aves.”
I slapped my hands over my face and groaned, but secretly I treasured the gift. I eyed the inch-thick book and doubted there’d be enough pages to hold all the gruesome, girly details I planned to write in it.
“Okay, guys,” Owen said. “Who’s ready for the hot tub?”
Everyone started to scatter, cleaning up wrapping paper, pizza plates, and empty soda cans until Libby found another gift. “Hey, there’s one more here.”
I took it and looked at my mom.
She shook her head. “It’s not from me.”
I scanned the room and everyone shrugged. I examined the bag, but there was no name on it. “Who is this from?”
Nobody fessed up.
“Just open it,” Brandon said impatiently.
For a brief moment I wondered if it was secretly from Aiden and he’d somehow talked someone into bringing it for him. My heart pounded in my chest as I tore away the tissue paper.
I pulled the gift from the bag and held it up before I knew exactly what it was. It turned out to be a scandalously skimpy, dark red bikini and a gorgeous white sarong to go with it.
Definitely not from Aiden.
“What is this?”
I was still gaping at the outfit in horror when Grayson said, “Why is everyone looking at me?”
I glanced up and, sure enough, all eyes were on him, each face full of accusation. Almost everyone was trying not to laugh, but my mother looked exasperated.
“It’s not from me!” Grayson said with a pure mask of innocence.
Libby snorted. “Who else would it be from?”
“What? Just because I was the one who mentioned the hot tub and happen to know that Avery only owns lame one-pieces that look like they came from my grandma’s closet, doesn’t mean that I bought her the very tasteful swimwear that will probably look killer on her.”
There was a beat of silence, and then the whole room exploded into laughter. It was so loud that we didn’t notice the door to the condo burst open. At least not until Aiden ran in shouting my name, sounding half pissed off, half panicked.
Everyone was stunned into silence.
Aiden stumbled to a stop when he saw me. For a brief second there was a look of pure relief, and then he took in the scene. His eyes swept over everyone in the room and then noticed the half-eaten birthday cake.
Understanding finally hit him. “This is a birthday party? You’re having a birthday party?”
I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say, and from the looks of it, no one in the room felt inclined to help me out. “Um . . . it is my birthday. What else would I be doing up here?”
Aiden looked shell shocked. “My mom said you and Grayson came up here today, and I just thought . . .”
Grayson walked up next to me. “You thought I brought her up here alone.” He laughed one hard, humorless laugh. “You thought I was going to try to get her to sleep with me?” He put his arm over my shoulder. He was so tense I wondered if he was using me to hold himself back from throwing punches. “I can’t believe you thought I would do that to Avery.”
Aiden glared at Grayso
n while I pieced together a realization of my own. “You came up here to stop me. Because you were so sure I’d just jump right into bed with him the minute he tried to seduce me.”
Aiden looked away from me, shame all over his face. A pain I’d come to recognize as the feel of Aiden Kennedy breaking my heart settled in my chest.
“Can we go upstairs and talk in private please?”
“No, we can’t.”
My answer was sharp and came out of nowhere. I felt Grayson stiffen in surprise next to me. I put my arm around his waist—so glad he was there to help hold me up. I had this really strange feeling forming in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t my familiar panic, and that scared me.
“I can’t believe you would think that about me,” I said.
Aiden seemed to get angry. “Of course I was worried about you! I know my brother, Avery. He’s the master and you’re so . . . so . . .”
“I’m so what?”
My voice sounded strange. I wasn’t sure what was going on with me.
Grayson must have realized something was off too, because the hand that he’d had over my shoulders was now gently rubbing my back in a slow, soothing manner.
“Innocent,” Aiden said. “Inexperienced.”
“And so you assumed that I would just give it up to your brother because he was the first guy who ever showed interest in me?”
“Red alert! Red Alert!” Brandon muttered somewhere to the left of me. “Stage five here we come.”
I heard the chime of a video camera being turned on and Levi whispered, “Systems are a go. We are about to witness science in action. After weeks of no progress, A.S.E. test subject Avery Shaw is finally about to emerge from her guilt and experience the fifth stage of grief. Just as her lab partner predicted, it looks to be an explosive scene.”
“Do you guys mind?” I snapped at them. I turned back to Aiden. “Do you think I’m that insecure?” I asked him in a tight voice. “That desperate?”
Aiden sighed. “It’s not just that, Aves.” He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. “You’ve been so vulnerable lately.”
“Tell me he did not just say that,” Libby said.
I think it was Owen who chuckled and replied, “She’s going to tear him a new one.”
I couldn’t be bothered with the commentary. I felt my face turn red, and for the first time in my life, it wasn’t because I was blushing.
“And why might I be feeling vulnerable lately, Aiden? Whose fault would that be?” Aiden flinched. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Grayson hasn’t been trying to take advantage of me. He’s been bending over backwards to help me.”
Aiden’s hands clenched into fists. “Yeah, I saw how he was trying to help you.”
That was it. I just snapped. “You have no idea what you saw! That kiss was a dumb science experiment! Grayson agreed to be my partner for the science fair after you quit on me!”
“An experiment?” Aiden scoffed. “What kind of experiment would require you to kiss somebody?”
I marched over to my backpack and yanked my science journal from it. We’d turned so many things into experiments that I’d taken to carrying the book with me everywhere. Without giving it a thought, I chucked the stupid thing right at Aiden’s head.
“This one you jerk! I’m trying to find the stupid cure to a broken heart!”
My journal plastered him right in the face. He stumbled back, shocked. He picked up the book, leafed through a few pages, and then popped like a balloon—his anger completely gone.
He might have been finished yelling, but I was just getting started. “You broke me, Aiden! Not just my heart, but every single part of me! Grayson just happened to be there when I shattered and was kind enough to pick up the pieces. He’s been there for me every step of the way! He’s just trying to help me get over you!”
For a minute it was so silent that I think everyone in the room must have been holding their breath.
“Aves . . .” Aiden whispered in a strangled voice.
The intimacy in the way he said my name felt like another stab wound. “Don’t call me that!” I hissed. “Only people who really care about me can call me that!”
“Aves, I do care about you. You’re my best fri—”
“Don’t you dare say that! I am not your best friend! I have been nothing to you since winter break.”
“That’s not true.”
“You cut me completely out of your life! You’ve barely spoken two words to me in weeks. You made me feel guilty for trying to support you. You forced me to sit away from my friends at lunch!”
“I did not! You left with Grayson!”
“Because you were going to ask me to leave! Weren’t you!”
Aiden shrunk back like a puppy being scolded for chewing shoes.
I managed to lower my voice a little. “You couldn’t even stand to be near me. I was your best friend for seventeen years, and just like that, you got a girlfriend and forgot all about me.”
“No!” Aiden shook his head frantically. “I didn’t, Aves. That’s why I broke up with Mindy. We got in a huge fight after you came to my debate. She told me I had to choose, so I did. I chose you Avery.”
It was everything I’d wanted to hear since he dumped me in almost this exact spot six weeks ago. Funny how now that he’d finally said it, it didn’t make a bit of difference. “Doesn’t matter,” I said. “It’s way too little, way, way, way too late.”
“Aves, come on. Don’t do this. I know I screwed up—I screwed up huge—but we can get past it. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. You’re not nothing to me. You’re everything. I was just so close to you that I couldn’t see it.”
And finally, my anger was gone too. I was done. Probably for the rest of my life.
“That’s real sweet, Aiden,” I said in a dead voice. “But you shouldn’t have come here. I think it’s upsetting Grayson, and you’re kind of ruining my birthday party.”
Aiden sucked in a breath, no doubt recognizing those words. They were more or less the same ones he’d said to me at his debate. Now he knew what it felt like.
“I’m sorry, Aiden, but I’d like you to leave please.”
I recognized the look of a person’s heart breaking. I’d never seen it from this perspective before, but I was familiar with it enough to know that’s what was happening to Aiden right then.
He didn’t say another word to anyone. He just got up and quietly left. The moment the door shut behind him, I graduated from stage five and spiraled straight on into depression.
Grayson
I thought it would feel good to watch Avery finally tell off my brother, only that wasn’t the case at all. In reality it sucked. He totally deserved it, and, yes, part of me was more than satisfied when she’d thrown the book at him—literally—but I knew it hurt her to do it, and that I didn’t like watching.
The only way to describe Avery after her fight with Aiden was tired. I’d expected one of her stress attacks. I thought she’d break into hysteric sobs the minute he left, but she just seemed exhausted. She didn’t shed a single tear. I was proud of her for that.
Her body sagged against mine, and for one long minute she buried her face in my chest, soaking up my comfort while I held her. Just about the time I expected one of her anxiety attacks to take over, she pulled her face back just far enough to look up at me and asked, “You don’t really expect me to wear that swimsuit, do you?”
I was shocked, but I felt the smile creep across my face. All this stuff we’d been doing really was helping her. There was no question. The old Avery wouldn’t have been able to deal with this, especially not with a room full of people still watching her.
“Hell yes, I do,” I answered. I’d paid good money for that swimsuit after all.
She sighed. “Fine. But if I do, will you please refrain from perverted comments at my expense? I know you’re not very good at that, but I seriously cannot handle it right now. I just want to go have some fun
with my friends tonight, and I won’t be able to do that if you make me feel completely self-conscious.”
It was a reasonable request. I wasn’t sure I’d be capable of it, though. “I’ll try my best.”
When the girls all emerged in their swimsuits ten minutes later I about had a heart attack. Pamela was on the girl’s soccer team and Chloe was on the dance squad. I knew from personal experience exactly how in shape they were. Aside from Chloe’s lack of chest, they both had utterly perfect bodies. Pretty much every girl I’d ever dated did.
Then there was Avery. She wasn’t like them. Her body wasn’t perfect. You’d never call her chubby, like Libby—who really didn’t look too bad in the tasteful tankini she wore—but you wouldn’t call her skinny like Tara, either. Poor Tara was so thin she looked like a sixth grader in her bathing suit.
Avery was what I would call soft. She had shape to her—waist, hips, a chest I’ve raved enough about already that I don’t think you really need me to tell you exactly how perfect it looked tied up in that top—but you couldn’t see every muscle beneath her skin. Nor were her bones showing. Add to that her flawless, cream-colored skin, and you got a very inviting, smooth, soft body that practically begged for you to sink your fingers into it.
Avery was something new for me. I wanted to know how a body like hers felt. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to explore every inch of her. I wanted it so bad that Owen chucked a towel at me with a meaningful look.
“Your weeks of celibacy are starting to show.”
“It’s not the celibacy that’s doing it.”
Owen looked over at the girls all gathering by the door. After a minute he said, “Little Miss Crazytown doesn’t look as horrifying as I expected.”
My eyebrows flew up at that, even though I’d just thought the same thing about Libby.
“Actually . . .” Owen chuckled. “Geek One and Geek Two over there are the sorest on the eyes. Twenty bucks says neither of them has ever kissed a girl before.”
I followed his gaze to Brandon and Levi. Impossibly, they managed to fit the nerd stereotype even more perfectly in all their gangly glory. They had their shorts pulled up dangerously high on their waists, and Levi even had on prescription goggles.