by Ben Zackheim
“Come. We have been waiting.”
“Who’s we? How did you know we’d be coming?” I asked.
“Valhallans and Asgardians, all. Some are for you and some against, but all are excited to see you walk through the gates.”
“Why?” I asked.
Her expression changed quickly. The smile faded and her eyebrow cocked. She placed a hand on my shoulder which felt way better than a hand on the shoulder should feel.
“You mean you don’t know?”
“Educate us,” I said, not liking where this was headed.
“You are to battle in the arena.”
“Why would we battle in an arena?” Rose asked.
“Not you, him. Kane. He must go alone.”
“We don’t do arenas,” I said.
“But I’ve heard you are a formidable foe,” she said, confused.
“Maybe,” I said. “But not for entertainment.”
“It’s not for entertainment,” she said. “It’s for the right to wield the hammer and shield. It’s for the right to be the new God of Thunder.”
Chapter 37
The last time we’d visited an underworld city we’d been stopped at the gates by Merlin. He clearly didn’t want us soiling his mecca with our mortal cooties so he stood in our way and made things as uncomfortable as he possibly could. It didn’t work too well on me because I was partners with Rebel. Discomfort was all part of the job.
Freyja wouldn’t elaborate on what she meant by “new God of Thunder.” But I could use my imagination. I was surprised that I didn’t resist the idea much. Hey, I had the ego of a god so why not just try it on for size. Maybe there were good advancement opportunities.
As we climbed the thousands of steps to the castle above us, I realized that Valhalla was an unexpected version of the afterlife. It was an old city, made from stone that showed its age. The mossy walls loomed over our heads as we approached the main gate through a thin tunnel that looked suspiciously like a trap for invaders. Apparently, the afterlife didn’t bring any kind of break in war.
Or poverty either.
The people were all decked out in drab cloaks and they looked as miserable, angry, distracted and busy as the living. They passed us with bundles of fruits, meats, hay and other essentials that you’d expect to see the living lugging around.
I wondered if Valhalla had its own level of hell.
But then I heard the laughter of children and spotted a few kids playing in the mud. I got glimpses of a distant farmland through the broken sections of wall.
I almost knocked into a couple making out.
“Not too far, younglings,” Freyja said to the couple, with a smirk.
“We’ll be careful, Freyja, promise,” the boy said.
So Fox and Coleslaw were right. Valhalla was a carbon copy of the world above.
“Told you,” Fox muttered at me so Rebel couldn’t hear.
“Yeah, you did” I said. “So what else can I expect?”
“Politics, betrayal. Lots of betrayal. Sex, violence. Betrayal.”
“Are you planning on betraying us?” I asked.
“You really think I could after what I told you?”
I didn’t answer because I didn’t know the answer.
“Goddess of Sex, huh?” I said, looking ahead at Freyja. Her presence cleared a path through the other people entering the city.
“She’d kill you,” Fox said.
“Rebel? Nah. She just acts jealous.”
“No. Freyja,” he said. “Her thighs would squeeze your lungs out your mouth.”
“There are worse ways to go.”
The Vampire smiled.
Freyja glanced over her shoulder and winked at me. She was one horny goddess.
“You okay?” Rebel asked me.
“Sure. We should let things play out. If I need to fight, I’ll fight.”
“They probably won’t let you use your guns,” she said, unable to make eye contact with me.
“I can take care of myself.”
She shrugged, not believing that for one minute.
We approached the castle’s gates. The forty foot high doors opened with the piercing shriek of iron on iron.
“No WD-40 in the afterlife,” I said.
“WD-40?” Freyja asked.
“If I make it out of here I’ll send you some.”
“Are you flirting with me?” she asked.
“Sure, yeah,” I lied. I saw Rebel roll her eyes.
We walked through the gates and were met with a wide staircase going down. Torches lined the walls and lit the way well. At the bottom of the stairwell I could make out the faint silhouette of a crowd. From the looks of it we had some people waiting for us.
“You will meet Váli, the herald of Odin and Hela, and do not need to say anything. To do so is rude. You will then be introduced to the emperor and queen of the Vampires.” Freyja glanced sideways at Fox, who stopped in his tracks.
“We need to turn back,” he said quickly. He was trying to keep his cool but I could see that he was ready to fight or flee.
“You cannot,” Freyja said. “They know we are here. They know you are here.” She made a point of staring right at Fox. “Running is pointless.”
“Then we fight,” he said to me.
“Then you die,” Freyja countered quickly. She was trying to keep her voice down but it was still loud enough to echo off the stone walls.
“What’s waiting for us down there,” I asked Fox. “The truth dammit.”
“If the emperor is here, a trap,” he said.
“What kind of a trap?”
“We have to go,” Freyja said. This time she spoke so that her bosses at the end of the steps could hear her. A guard walked into view at the bottom of the staircase. He squinted to see what we were up to.
“They await!” he yelled up at us.
Freyja gritted her teeth. “I’m aware, Narfi,” she yelled back. It was time to finish the descent.
A crowd faced us, doused in firelight from the torches and the chandelier above them. The room was some kind of receiving area with long tables, set for a meal.
There were two groups, each dressed differently. The people straight ahead of us wore something like a priests robe, except it was crafted with leather which made it look like battle garb. But the robes were also every color under the sun, plus a few thrown in for shits and giggles.
“They look like Skittles,” I whispered to Rebel who almost shit and giggled.
The other crowd was decked out in long black robes with white armor underneath, the standard war garb of the Vampires these days. Spirit intel said the vampires bought the armor from a down-and-out Croatian politician with the keys to an annexed Russian armory.
Standing above the Vampires, on a stage meant for dignitaries, was Tabitha.
She regarded us like we were a formality, waiting to be pacified and left for others to entertain. Her eyes drifted past mine as if she didn't recognize me. We hadn’t spent much time together but I knew it was enough to earn a fucking nod.
I shook my head to get rid of the teen angst like it was a possessing poltergeist.
“The challenger and his party have arrived,” Freyja said. “The 24 hour cycle has begun. None may leave the afterlife until a god is reborn.” The bright robes chattered to each other filling the room with a sound somewhere between a babbling brook and a teenie-bop concert with no music.
“Váli, herald of Hela and Odin!”
A large bald man, even taller than Freyja stepped from the Skittles gang. He stood straight and made a point of glaring at us like a boil that he would lance once the whiskey kicked in.
“Holding court, Dakari Okar and his wife, Tabitha,” Váli belted out. My heart dropped and slingshotted into my throat.
No.
“Emperor and queen of the Undead!”
Chapter 38
“Oh shit,” Rebel said before I could recall any English. “That’s a trap with cream on top.”
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The emperor of Vampires stepped forward and his party fell silent. The room soon followed. He was a large and wide black man with a mohawk of dreads.
“Fox, we know you’re an idiot,” the emperor said in a low voice that felt like a Schecter bass. Right through the gut. “And we know you have the judgment of a child. But I didn’t take you for a traitor.” His orange irises landed on me and I knew what it felt like to be stared down by the leader of a pack.
It occurred to me that this might be my opponent. I could take him if I found a really good way to cheat.
“I only go where messes need cleaning,” Fox said. “You know that well, my emperor.”
The head honcho just glanced at his wife. Her focus was on the big nothing on the far wall.
“Our champion,” the emperor said, simply as he raised his hand to a dark corner.
Bonehead emerged from the darkness and stood straight across from me. He slipped twin blades from his back’s scabbards and dropped them on the stone floor. He pulled two Glock 26s from his hip holsters and spun them on the floor like two tops until they slapped the blades and grounded to a halt. He opened a cannister of some kind on his forearms and dumped a few dozen sharp projectiles on top of the pile.
Impressive pile.
Then he took off his long coat and threw it down. It made a heavy metal sound. Who knows what the hell was in that thing?
Finally, he reached behind him and unsheathed Mjölnir from a shoulder strap.
He laid the hammer gently on the floor. The whole room shook just enough to tickle our feet.
“Disarm,” Váli said to me. “Then we shall feast!”
I looked at Rebel. She waited to see what I wanted to do.
I wanted to live so I placed my Glocks on the ground gently. I respected my weapons unlike Bonehead. I hoped that would end up being a small plus in the fight to come.
I closed my eyes and concentrated. The Vault Portal’s slim slash of light danced in front of me. I reached in and pulled out the shield.
Some robed Valhallans scrambled to Bonehead’s pile of death and gathered it up in armfuls. Váli gripped the hammer and lifted it with some effort.
Freyja picked up my Glocks, took the shield and nodded.
“I’ll treat them well,” she said. “They’ll be waiting for you after you’ve finished him in the arena.”
“When will that be?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“Great!” I yelled, clapping my hands twice. I sat at the end of one of the long tables. “I’m famished! Who are we eating?”
There was silence in the room but I noticed Tabitha covered her mouth with her fingers. Yeah, that was a smile.
“It’s a joke,” I said. The Valhallans looked at each other and laughed. The undead looked at me and didn’t.
My opponent looked in my direction from underneath that creepy skull helmet-mask. I didn’t know what he thought. But I knew he had some business to wrap up with me.
We sat with the Valhallans, who had perfected eternal bliss with a skillful balance of drink, storytelling and smut. It was like eating your meal at an orgy. They were crawling all over each other in various states of undress, redress and torn dress. Ale poured from the pitchers and the gut in equal measure, which is when I lost my appetite and stopped eating. Holding down a conversation was just as tough. I tried to keep a straight face while the woman I was talking to enjoyed the rotating circle of Valhallans eating dessert under the table. But a guy can only take so many giggles and moans while he’s trying to get the scoop on how exactly he’ll live through the next day’s battle to the death.
Rebel seemed to be enjoying the show so I let her be. But I needed to walk around. The Vampires had mostly moved on from their ‘meal’ which was a collection of jugs and soup bowls. I wove my way through the bumping masses and found a long, tall and, most importantly, quiet hallway. Doors lined both sides, all closed. I walked down the hall and acted casual, which Rebel always said made me look suspicious.
“What are you doing?” a woman’s voice said from behind me. I didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Tabitha.
“Just taking a walk,” I said.
“This way,” she said, softly. “Come.” She slipped through the closest door and left it open. I followed because I was a fucking idiot.
I didn’t even think about it.
Chapter 39
The dark bedroom’s ceiling was twenty feet up. The chandelier was the only source of light and it only had a few candles lit.
“Tabitha?” I said. I couldn’t see her in the darkness. My muscles tensed.
“You will not win tomorrow,” she said. She was standing in the corner. My eyes adjusted and I could make out her shape in the darkness.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Hakkar is the youngest of a line of warriors who have protected the Vampires for thousands of years. He’s spent his life practicing for this moment. Ruthless.”
“So what do you recommend?”
“Run,” she said. “Leave the shield here and run.”
“Yeah, no.”
“You and your friends will die if you don’t.”
“We’ve made it this far. I’ve been in tougher spots.”
“You say that, but you know I’m right.”
“What if I do? It doesn’t matter. I’m not running from a chance to shut your gang down and send you back to your sewers and caves.”
She was quiet. It was hard to get a read on her. My gut told me I’d hurt her feelings. But who ever heard of a Vampire having hurt feelings? Unless…
“You’re not a Vampire, are you?” I asked.
She didn’t answer. She walked out from the darkness, her face lit under the flickering light was pained and thoughtful. Her hands were clasped together in front of her as she glided to the end of the bed and sat down facing me.
“I am a Vampire,” she said softly. “But I am the queen of Vampires.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means I balance.”
I waited for more, but she didn’t give it to me. “Balance what?”
She pursed her lips. She didn’t want to tell me and she needed to tell me.
“Balance what, Tabitha?”
“I maintain the balance between the living and the undead.”
I grabbed a stool at the bedside and pulled it up to her. I sat down and faced her. “How do you do that?”
“I find a way,” she said, smiling slightly. But the smile didn’t reach her eyes. I’ve never seen someone look more miserable than the queen of Vampires looked at that moment. “Politics, power plays, money, sex, whatever it takes.”
“But why? Are you under some kind of spell?”
“If you call existence a spell, yes. My role is as fundamental as the sun. Without me…” She stopped. I waited. “Without me there is chaos.”
“For who? For humanity or Vampires?”
“Both. Without me, one or the other will cease to exist.”
“I don’t see anything wrong with letting the Vampires disappear,” I said.
“That’s because you don’t understand us,” she said. Her glare told me I’d crossed a line.
“Fine,” I said. “So can you help me or not?”
“I’m trying to! You must leave this place.”
“That’s not an option. Tell me about Hakkar.”
She stood and started to pace. “He’s the 14th guardian. Ten of them had almost nothing to protect as most Vampires slept for 1000 years. When they awakened he was ready. The pent up rage and boredom of a thousand years of ancestors is stored in his bones.”
“They?” I asked. I was stuck on that word.
“What do you mean?”
“You said they were asleep. The Vampires. Does that mean that you weren’t asleep?”
She’d messed up and it showed. She knew it was impossible to put this information back in its safe box.
“I brought sleep to them,” she
said. “The Vampires were on the verge of sweeping the world. I could not keep up with the imbalance. I was desperate. I found a way to make them sleep, to give humans a chance to strengthen.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“I don’t think you’d say that if you truly understood.”
“Help me understand then.”
“Kane, the Vampires awoke too soon. You have not strengthened. You’ve weakened.”
“What are you talking about? We’re all over the place. Science, technology, magic. We’re at the top of the food chain.”
“Your people are riper now for conquest than they’ve ever been. You are all filled with doubt. The voice of reason is a whisper. You collect in tribes and fight over worldly goods and try to outmaneuver yourselves. You play a game with your lives, with your very existence.”
“That’s the way we’ve always been,” I said, proud of my cynicism.
“You’re wrong,” she said, simply. There was something in her voice that made my stomach drop. “You had great potential one thousand years ago. You warred. You conspired. But you also sensed a path forward. You sensed a better way and you worked your way toward it.”
“We still do.”
“Like I said, it’s a whisper now.”
“If you think so little of us then why not let your family feast?”
“Because I hope!” she yelled. Her eyes flashed with an anger that had magic behind it. The room was charged with something I’d never felt before. It made me feel heavy in my shoes. But it also made me want to fly away.
She sat back down on the bed to regain her composure. I didn’t know what to say.
“If I help you survive tomorrow, there will need to be a balance. I cannot help you without hurting you.”
“What will the Vampires do with Mjölnir and the shield if they win it?”
“They’ll tear the world to pieces.”
“Then help me.”
She stood again and walked up to me. She got close. Who knew the undead could smell so good? I lifted my hand to touch her face but she gently brushed it aside.