“How long have you’ve been a detective?” Lisa moved away from him, sitting again on the floor to paint the area above the baseboard.
After inhaling and exhaling several composing breaths, he said, “I made detective in Dallas about a year ago.” He’d thought that changing jobs within the department would make his life bearable, that not having to put on his uniform every workday would wipe the child’s face from his mind. It hadn’t worked. Hence the move to Cimarron City. These last few months had been better until something forced him to think of the past.
“What area do you work in?”
“Robbery/Homicide.”
“A few months back there was a robbery at the café down the street. The police chased him into one of the residential areas. He jumped a fence into a yard with a pit bull. He regretted that decision. When the officers arrived, the dog had him cornered in a tree, the bag of money he stole scattered all over the ground below. Thankfully some robbers make bad choices and get caught.”
“I always hate foot pursuits.” He tossed her a grin. “The shoes aren’t what I would choose to run a race in.”
“You look like a runner.” Her gaze traveled down his length.
“I try to four or five times a week.” This topic of conversation he could deal with.
“I half jog, half walk in the morning before I have to be at work. I’m trying to work up to jogging the whole time. I haven’t made it.”
“How long have you’ve been doing it?”
“A year.”
He chuckled. “Sounds like someone’s heart isn’t in it.”
“You could say I’m halfhearted.”
“At least you’re honest about it.”
She caught his gaze. “I’m always honest. That’s what the Lord expects us to be.”
“I have a feeling God is looking down on the people of Earth and shaking His head in disappointment. I think He’s forsaken us.”
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by your cynical attitude, but He hasn’t forgotten us at all.”
“How am I supposed to believe in God when I see so much suffering and injustice?”
She stared at the baseboard, her hand hovering over the can for a few seconds before dipping her brush into the paint. “So, you don’t think people can make mistakes and still believe?”
“Do I think someone who killed a person should be able to waltz right into heaven as though nothing happened? No.” How’s God, if there really is one, going to forgive me, even though it was in the line of duty?
“Some of the people Jesus gathered around him were imperfect, the lowlifes—prostitutes, a tax collector. God forgives anyone who truly repents.”
“A drug addict who sells her child to get money to buy dope? A man who murders his family?” he asked in a harsh tone, not able to stop the anger, more at himself, from deluging him.
Lisa winced. “Anyone can be saved. That doesn’t mean those people won’t pay for their crimes against humanity. They should, but the Lord will forgive them.”
Frowning, he snorted and turned his focus on finishing the wall he was painting. What a Pollyanna outlook! He didn’t believe there was a God like that. There had been a time he had. It had taken him only a few years on the streets to see what people would do to their “loved” ones to change his mind.
* * *
Standing next to Andy, Lisa couldn’t believe that she was on the other side of David at Stone’s Refuge while Peter addressed the small crowd. He’d decided to use this time to celebrate all the new animals at the refuge. A child who was in charge of taking care of the new pet led it in front of the other children and adults amidst the clapping.
Andy and Gabe brought Belle and her colt for everyone to see. The group roared and cheered. Andy grinned from ear to ear. His heart was so full of love, especially for the abandoned animals at the refuge, probably because at one time he’d feared that she had abandoned him as she’d struggled to get off drugs. Every day she tried to make up for that mistake. Most days she felt good about what she had accomplished, but lately with what was going on with Andy at school, she was beginning to have doubts.
Earlier after David and she had finished helping to paint the additional rooms for the shelter, just about everyone had decided to attend the celebration. They were ready to party after working hard. Kelli persuaded David to come along and see the refuge for himself because he had mentioned being interested in it.
There was a time when they had discussed Dallas that a flash of pain had contorted his expression for a brief moment. That glimpse of vulnerability in his tough-guy armor pierced through the protective shield she had about her heart. She couldn’t shake the feeling something happened to him in Dallas that he was running away from. If that were the case, she had firsthand experience that he could never run fast enough and far enough to escape the past. It would cling to him like a heavy, wet coat draped over his shoulders, dragging him down. Hopefully he would discover that and shed his coat.
When she was with him, she found herself wanting to help him, and yet all her common sense said to stay away from him. She couldn’t forget what he’d said about the drug addict. His contempt was evident in his tone, and it stressed how impossible it would be for them to have any real relationship. Whoa! Relationship? Why was she even thinking along those lines?
Andy turned toward her. “Mom, do you think Belle is really all right?”
“Hon, quit worrying about her. Roman said she’s fine now.”
“He said I could help feed the foal whenever I’m here in the afternoon until Belle’s milk comes in. We’ll use a bottle.”
“You have basketball practice four times a week after school. Will six-thirty be too late to help with the foal?” Behind her, she sensed David shift toward her when she mentioned basketball practice.
“If it isn’t, can I come every night to feed him?” Andy’s expression held a hopeful expectation she couldn’t say no to.
“So long as you still get your homework done before going to bed.”
“I’ll go see.” Her son hurried toward Roman, who stood by his wife, Cathy. The couple were talking with Hannah, the manager of Stone’s Refuge. Her husband, Jacob, was on its board and one of the founding members. Hannah and Jacob had rescued her when she had been abandoned and had nowhere to live four years ago.
“I once had a baby squirrel that must have fallen out of its nest because I found it on the ground, stunned, by itself. I was so excited because I finally had a pet, my first one. I tried feeding it with a bottle,” David said near her ear.
His warm breath on her neck sent chills down Lisa. Her heartbeat increased. She spun around and took a step back. “What happened to the squirrel?” The question came out in a breathless rush.
“It didn’t make it. I was six and cried myself to sleep the night it died. I decided not to rescue any more animals after that. I didn’t want a pet if it was going to hurt that much.”
She pictured this large, muscular man who protected people for a living crying as a little boy over his first pet dying. Something inside her softened toward him and made her want to forget all the barriers between them. “Did you ever have another one?”
“We had a dog a few years later, but my parents got it at a pet store. At first, I didn’t want to have anything to do with it, but Buddy wouldn’t stop pestering me, wanting me to play. Before long he went everywhere with me except school. And when he died, it hurt worse than the squirrel, but I didn’t regret one moment of knowing him.” David swept his arm to indicate the barn and its surrounding area. “I like this setup and the fact that the only animals here are abandoned ones and their offspring. I wouldn’t mind helping out at the refuge when I have the time.”
His story produced a tightness in her throat. She swallowed hard. “Hannah is the one to talk to about that. Of course, Peter oversees the animals and barn. What were you thinking of doing?”
David rubbed his chin and stared off to the side for a moment, then fastene
d his gaze on hers. “I’ve been toying with this idea since I heard about a friend on the police force in Dallas doing it with some children from low-income housing. I’d like to teach a tae kwon do class to the children involved in this. It will help build their self-confidence.”
“Hannah might go for that.”
“And I want Andy to take it, too.”
“Why?”
“If he’s being bullied, it will help him feel he can take care of himself.”
“Are you suggesting he use tae kwon do moves on Joey and his friends?”
David frowned. “No, but as I said, if Andy feels confident, it will come across when he’s interacting with Joey and his friends. Bullies go after people they perceive as weak. Not the strong ones. I want Andy to come across as strong.”
“I’ll talk to him, but I’m not totally convinced it’s the right choice for my son.”
Andy skidded to a stop next to her. “Roman said it was okay if I came after six-thirty. Gabe is gonna do it in the morning before he goes to school.”
“You know some evenings I have to go back to work after I pick you up from practice. I’m the manager now, so I have to make sure the jobs are covered and there’s enough workers at the restaurant.”
“Ah, Mom, this is important to me. Belle would want me to do this for her baby until she can.”
“We’ll see what we can work out.”
Andy beamed. “Gabe and Roman are gonna show me what to do as soon as Roman walks Cathy back to the cottage. She’s not feeling well.”
As her son left to join a group of boys near the paddock, David asked, “Who’s Gabe?”
“That’s the kid on Andy’s right. They are best friends. Gabe lived at the refuge in one of the cottages until Hannah and Jacob adopted him. Actually, they’ve adopted several children who once lived in a cottage here. I think if they could they would adopt everyone who comes through the refuge, but some of the kids go back to their families.”
“I don’t understand sending a child back to a bad situation. As usual the courts are too lenient. I’ve seen some children who were put back with their parents only to be taken away again because the bad habits returned. In my experience, people don’t usually change.”
The feelings his presence generated in her caused Lisa to dream of having more, but his words reinforced the impossibility of that. Her life was so different than what it was four years ago because of the Lord’s grace and mercy. She’d been heading for complete destruction and God saved her. Now she had hope she could raise her son to do the right thing and that she could make a difference in the world. “You really don’t believe people change?”
“Basically, no. I haven’t seen much evidence of it.”
“Not everything is black or white. Life is full of shades of gray.”
“Often those shades of gray are excuses we use to justify what we did.”
“Why don’t you talk with Hannah about the tae kwon do class?” She turned away to search for Hannah, to hide the sadness she felt creep into her expression. Her friend was showing her toddler a new litter of puppies in a pen just inside the barn. “There she is.” Without waiting for David’s reply, she started toward the Stone Refuge’s manager.
How can David live a life with no hope? Has seeing so much darkness made him that way?
While Hannah’s child played with a puppy, her friend rose as Lisa and David approached the pen. “Gabe said that Andy was going to help with the foal. He was so excited they would be the ones responsible for Belle’s baby. Peter said Gabe and Andy could name the colt.”
Somehow she would have to work out a way to get Andy to the ranch and back those evenings she had to work. “Knowing those two, they’ll spend days trying to come up with the perfect name.”
Hannah laughed. “You mean weeks. I remember the last animal they got to name.” She looked toward David next to Lisa. “What do you think of our refuge?”
“What I’ve seen has been impressive.”
“I’ll have to give you a deluxe tour one day or better yet, Lisa, you can. You know the place as well as I do.”
“Sure, anytime.” Why am I being constantly thrown together with him? What are You trying to tell me, Lord?
“I have a proposal for you. I’d like to teach some of the children at the refuge tae kwon do. What do you think of me starting a class once or twice a week?” David asked.
“I like that. Now that we have the new recreational hall, there’s a place for those kinds of classes. I’ve been looking at ways to expand what we have to offer because we have the space to do more. Let me talk to each couple who run the cottages and see who they have who would be interested in tae kwon do. Could you start next Saturday morning?”
“Sure. The basketball games we’ll be playing soon are all on Friday evening or Saturday afternoon.”
Hannah’s eyes grew round. “Oh, no. Emily is trying to carry a puppy away.” She hurried after her child who waddled toward the back door of the barn, the small animal cradled against her chest.
David chuckled. “That age keeps their parents on their toes.”
“Not just that age. Every stage a child goes through has good and bad aspects. Although I’m not sure what the good points of teenagers are.” Thinking back to her own teenage years, she could still recall the trials, so often hormone-driven.
“I know. My niece is so emotional. Everything is a big deal to her. I keep thinking she’s gonna grow up to be an actress.”
“Lately I’ve been seeing more mood swings in my son.”
“Being married and having children isn’t easy. I chose not to go that route because my job isn’t easy on a family. I saw what some of my fellow officers went through with their marriages falling apart and decided not to go there.”
If and when she ever became interested in a man again, she wanted marriage. David sounded dead set against it. “But you aren’t them. Marriage requires a lot of work. Maybe they weren’t willing to do that.”
“Have you ever been married?” He pinned her with a questioning look.
Her lack of a husband wasn’t a secret, and yet she hated to share it with a man who had seen so much of the bad side of life and believed the worst in people. She returned his steadfast gaze, realizing there wasn’t any way to say it but straight out. “I’ve never been married. I was fifteen when I had Andy.” She hoped her-matter-of fact tone would put an end to the discussion that she should never have opened.
“That must have been hard on you.”
You can’t even begin to realize how hard. She wanted to say those words to him, but she’d already revealed more of herself to David than most people except her close friends. Her association with Andy’s father had started her downhill slide until she’d hit rock bottom four years ago. She would never put herself in that position again. The past four years she’d learned to stand on her own two feet and little by little had pulled herself up out of the gutter.
“Being a single mom isn’t easy, but Andy is a good kid. He’s made the job so much easier.”
“But you’re worried about him?”
“It’s hard to be a mother and not worry about your child.” At least for her. She doubted her mother had ever been concerned about her.
“Then I hope he’s at my tae kwon do class next Saturday.”
“We’ll see.”
* * *
Behind schedule, David parked in a space at the side of the gym and hurried around to the front. He wanted to be there when the first boy arrived. He didn’t want there to be any more trouble like what had happened last week with Andy. Seeing the concern and pain in Lisa’s eyes that evening unsettled him. Although he never wanted to be a parent, he could image how awful it would be to watch someone beating up your child.
Rounding the corner, he glimpsed Lisa’s Chevy in the parking lot already. In that moment, he realized he had been looking forward to seeing her again. He couldn’t deny his interest. He saw her on the sidewalk in front of the gym with
her son, an automatic smile came to his lips until he glimpsed her frown.
With a scowl, Andy dropped his backpack at his feet. “Mom, why can’t you take me to the refuge this evening? I have to feed Tiger his bottle. He needs me.” He closed the space between them and lowered his voice. “And you don’t have to walk me to the door. What do you think the other guys will say?”
“I just want to see if you can leave practice a little early so I can take you home and get back to work. We’re two people short. I need to be there for the dinner hour.”
Andy pinched his mouth together in a tight line.
“I’ll call Peter and tell him to get someone else just for today.”
The urge to help, to see a smile on Lisa’s face prodded David forward. He stopped a few feet from the pair. “I can take Andy to the refuge, then drop him at home or the restaurant, whichever you want.”
Andy’s gaze zeroed in on him while Lisa spun toward him. “You look tired. I can’t ask you to do that.”
After the long, exhausting day trying to piece together information and leads on a new robbery gang hitting houses and businesses, all he’d wanted to do was go home and work out to ease his stress. That would have to wait now. “You didn’t. I offered. I have to go out to the refuge anyway this week to check out the recreation center. I thought I would also talk to a few kids and answer any questions they might have about the class. Tonight is as good a time as any. Andy, you could introduce me to some of the kids at the refuge.”
The boy stiffened. “Sure.” He bent over and snatched up his backpack, then marched up to the double doors into the gym and disappeared inside.
“Are you sure?”
“I’d like to get to know him better. Maybe I can figure out what’s going on because it’s affecting the team. If they’re going to win any games, they need to work together. Andy is my best shooter on the team. Right now, I have a division between Joey’s group and the boys who are Andy’s friends.”
Heart of a Hero (New Beginnings Book 4) Page 4