As I finally got the papers in order, I heard a tap on the glass door that sealed me in the library. It squeaked open despite that I hadn’t invited anyone in. With my back still turned, I imagined it was one of our staff. “I’d like to be alone, please,” I grumbled.
“Hmm,” she hummed. “I bet you would. Haven’t you been alone long enough?”
I turned from my father’s desk and caught sight of her over my shoulder. She looked lovely in her yellow sundress and blue shawl. I both loved and hated her outfit. It fit her perfectly, both against her body that I could still feel all around me and in her personality. Bellamy was the epitome of a girly-girl and loved dressing up. But a nasty thought rose within me. She was likely wearing it for him. After all, they’d met for the day and she used to love dressing up for me. A sour taste tinged my tongue and I turned back to stare at the paperwork.
“You were always predictable,” she said, walking closer and eventually sitting back in my father’s over-sized desk chair.
I looked at her and noticed the ring on her finger, one that wasn’t mine. Bellamy’s eyes followed mine to her hand before she covered it with her other one. Was she ashamed for me or for herself? My mother’s announcement that she was engaged was unfortunate, to say the least. But now it killed me, even more, to know it belonged to that beast of a man. Tilting her head, she said, “I knew I’d find you here. You love brooding...even more so now it seems. It’s why everyone thinks you’re an asshole.”
Typical Bellamy. No filter and definitely not with me.
“That’s not why people think I’m an asshole and you know it,” I smirked bitterly.
“No,” she shook her head, passing her fingers along her brow. “I suppose it isn’t,” she paused and spun the chair towards the large window facing the woods. “Were you going to tell me you were home, Ollie?”
“No.”
“Even though you’re apparently moving back? Even though you’re staying?”
I didn’t answer immediately. Instead, I made my way towards the bench that framed the window. Sitting down, I asked, “What makes you think that?”
“Preston told me,” she stated.
I didn’t even like the sound of his name against her lips. If I stayed here, I’d have to see him kiss that mouth, and worse. He would marry her and give her children. He would be her life in a way I couldn’t.
She continued, looking straight at me and ignoring my silence. “He could tell there was something in the way we looked at each other. I told him our families were old friends.”
The fact that she’d lied to him and made our history seem minimal felt like a knife twisting in my gut. But what did I expect with the way I’d hurt her? I had no right.
“Did he buy it?”
“For now. Preston has a way of finding these things out. So it might be better if it comes from you before he hears it from the gossip mill. You should have seen the faces at The Barnacle, all pressed up against the glass. They were like moths to a flame.”
I allowed myself to look at her. To really appreciate the vision of her before me. Although seven years had passed, Bellamy had only grown more beautiful. The teenage roundness was gone from her face, leaving only feminine lines and curves. Her lips seemed fuller now, tempting me to no relief. And her eyes, my favorite part of her, they carried a new weight to them. A sadness veiled by the facade of happiness she’d grown accustomed to. I’d put that there. Me and the shitty life that evil woman had predicted. I’d grown too quiet, even for me. I spit out the first thing that came to my mind.
“How’s your dad?”
She shrugged. “Oh you know... he’s okay I guess. He kind of became the town loony. After he resigned as Mayor, no one has ever looked at him the same way. They think he’s crazy. Did your mother tell you he’s started to create things? Like an inventor, except none of his contraptions work. At least they keep his mind occupied, which is about all I can ask for. He didn’t become an alcoholic or a drug addict. He didn’t kill himself after my mother died. It could have been far worse. He managed to pay for my school before he went eccentric on us all. I think he just needs a steady job again, something that can challenge him and keep him busy. Preston thinks I should get him help, send him to some sort of rehab. I don’t like the idea of him being away from me, though...”
My mother had indeed told me about Mr. Charmant. It wasn’t enough that Bellamy’s mother had died suddenly. Life had to go and take her father’s mind too. It squeezed my heart knowing that I’d abandoned her during all of this, but there wasn’t much else I could do.
“Are you okay, Ollie?” She interrupted my thoughts and walked over to me. Joining me on the bench, Bellamy’s fingers caressed mine for a moment. “I’m really sorry about your father. I know it was sudden, but he had faith in you to continue all this. He trusted you with everything and knew what you were capable of. People will come around to loving you again once you show them his work matters to you.”
“They hate me, Bellamy.” I looked up at her and found tears in her eyes. “Do you hate me too?”
She didn’t answer, instead leaning her chin on my shoulder. I wanted to turn and kiss her but resisted. “I’ve never hated you, Oliver. I don’t understand, but I’ve never hated you. I can’t. That would be like hating myself because you’re the other half of my soul.”
She rose and started to walk away. My words came out fast and accusatory.”Then how can you marry another man?”
Stopping in the doorway, she turned over her shoulder and said, “Because he loves me and he’s been here this whole time. You haven’t. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I hate you.”
And with that, she left.
***
It had been three days since I’d last seen her. She’d walked out of my house and I watched through the window, like a prisoner of my own home and heart. I tried my best to stay busy and avoid deep conversation with anyone in town, but it was impossible. They all approached me and offered their condolences for my father’s passing. They’d loved him and respected him. And in his honor, they were forced to treat me with respect they likely didn’t feel. I was appreciative regardless. This town loved my father. I carried his name, but I had big shoes to fill and a hell of a legacy to compete with. And he’d trusted me with it.
By the fourth day I’d trapped myself in his main office downtown. It helped to be away from everyone so that I could go through all his papers and make initial decisions. My solitude didn’t last long, though. Preston continually popped by the office with more papers for me to sign. It started to feel like he was coming up with any excuse to spy on me or disturb me. I got the most uneasy sensation around him, too. And it wasn’t just because he had Bellamy’s heart. I hated him for it, but I was able to look past that when it came to my father’s work. But there was more to it as though he had something up his sleeve. It finally came to fruition that afternoon.
He’d entered my office without knocking and sauntered his way into the chair before what was now my desk. I almost killed him when he placed his feet up on the corner of the table.
“Can I help you?” I growled without making eye contact. If I looked at him, I’d surely see his snide smirk curling his lips and then I’d really have to kill him.
“You know.” He pointed at me. “I’ve been thinking...”
“Have you now? I wasn’t sure you were capable.”
It was the first time I’d snapped back at him so blatantly, but at this point I wanted him gone. I’d taken care of all the red tape, and still, he lingered around the offices. What was his motive?
Preston merely chuckled at my sly response.
“Bellamy said you were old family friends...but I asked around and apparently there’s a large part of the story missing.” He leaned forward, dropping his feet with a thud to the tile floor. “I saw how you two looked at each other. You’re the one...the one that left and broke her to pieces. She barely spoke of you when I came around, like you were h
er little dirty secret, and I suppose you are still. She hadn’t mentioned you...ever. Does that kill you?”
I finally looked at him, at the tall, devilishly handsome man before me. He was a looker, with blond hair and blue eyes that could easily captivate a woman. But on the inside he was ugly. A monster. I still couldn’t believe Bellamy was with this guy. It didn’t make sense.
“Hah!” he yelled. “It does...it kills you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You see,” he leaned back again. “She’s mine now. The whole town is mine. I’ve got them all eating out of the palm of my hand.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “Didn’t you hear? I’m going to be Mayor. I’m going to change everything here and make sure you get run out like the dog you are. You should be used to it by now, being forced out that is.”
This prick was something else. I wondered if my mother knew how evil he was. If she understood that he’d grown close to my father only to destroy all his life’s work. Before I could hesitate, I slipped my hand into my pocket and removed my phone. Walking towards the window, I hid it from him and dialed Bellamy’s number, muting her so she could hear it all. Maybe I would be run out of town. Maybe everyone hated me still for breaking their golden girl’s heart, but I could at least save her from ending up with this power-hungry jerk. I’d ruined her life once. I couldn’t let her ruin it with him too. I didn’t have to win her, but he couldn’t steal her.
The clock started running on the call and I knew she had answered.
“Is that why you’re with Bellamy? To get in good graces with her father and her so that you can get elected?”
“Obviously,” he boasted. “Everyone loved that man before he went absolutely insane. Of course, you weren’t here for that either. You haven’t been here for any of it, but that’s okay,” he pointed at himself. “Cause I have been. I’ve been here for all of it, scooping up Bellamy’s problems so I could use them to my benefit.”
I turned back to face him, my phone in my back pocket so she could continue hearing it.
“What makes you think you’ll get away with this? That I’ll let you walk away without destroying you and your plan?”
“I have my ways.”
“It won’t work. People here love her. They love her father even though he’s falling apart.”
“They’re terrified of him and his wild antics. I’m gonna have her crazy father sent to an asylum and I’m going to take over her estate and bring it back to life. She’s let it fall apart in the years after her fragile mother died. So now it’ll be mine and so will she. And once she’s given me what I want, I can get rid of her anytime. After I’m the mayor and this town trusts me, I could get away with murder if I wanted to.”
“You sound awfully sure of yourself, Preston.”
“I am. I always get what I want.”
Just as he said that Bellamy walked into the office in complete silence. I had one last chance to prove to her that I loved her, even if I couldn’t have her.
“I’m going to tell her everything, you know. I may have hurt her and destroyed what we had, but she means everything to me. There isn’t a person in this world that I loved or still love more than Bellamy.”
“She won’t believe you”, he said, cockiness oozing from his smile. “You left, you broke her heart, and I became the prince in her eyes the second I moved into town. She loves me and she will never believe the words a man tells her because he was the boy that once broke her world apart.”
“Preston, you’re fired. Get the fuck out of here as quickly as you possibly can, before it’s me that ends up destroying you.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, he rose and crowded in on me. My arm pulled back and I punched him in the jaw so hard, he fell back onto the chair that flipped behind him. Lying on the floor with blood dripping from his full lower lip, Preston’s eyes rolled back and caught sight of Bellamy witnessing the entire exchange.
I stared down at him, gritting my teeth.
“If I ever see you again, you better make sure you’re walking in the opposite direction of me. In fact, I’m not leaving, ever...so you better make arrangements to get far away from here, because I’ll be here till the day I die and I won’t tolerate an asshole tarnishing this place.”
***
A week passed. A week of silence, of longing, of worry. I questioned my actions. I regretted acting so rashly, but not the end result. All this doubt stemmed from the fact that I hadn’t heard from Bellamy. How was she? Did Preston’s abrupt departure leave her heartbroken? Or did it provide relief she didn’t know she needed?
Silence. It was all I heard. Silence in my mind, but even in my surroundings. There were only the occasional whispers of my mother’s staff. And even my mother, who supported my decision once I explained the circumstances, had been all too quiet. The woman that raised me was so often filled with opinions that it felt unnatural for such quiet. Of course, I’d gone to her for advice. I’d asked her what I should do when it came to Bellamy. Her only answer was “You have to figure this one out on your own. You’ll know when it’s right.”
My mother’s words weren’t exactly helpful. And I wasn’t the patient type, which is why after a week, I grew stir crazy in my father’s offices and mother’s house. I found myself working outside again, surrounded by thorny red roses and tangling vines. The garden had been filled with pages of memories, and somehow it still soothed me even though I felt Bellamy everywhere. Perhaps that is why I always returned to its presence. The smell of jasmine and minty leaves calmed my mind. The feel of the pebbles beneath my feet accompanied by their sound was a comforting sound. All of it was so familiar and in a way, it was the only place I ever truly felt at home. I could jump into working outside and all would be right, even if only for a few hours.
Sometimes while I sat in the garden, I would imagine hearing Bellamy sing the way she used to in our younger years. She would hum at first as she laid on a blanket in the center. But those hums turned into beautiful melodies that floated up into the air and decorated the sky. Her songs would even coax my parents out to join us occasionally. Today, when I felt especially alone and lost, I swore I heard her on the outer layers of the maze. It became so real, her voice so vivid in my mind and ears, that I began walking my way out to find her.
I’d been through this maze hundreds of times throughout my childhood and teen years. I knew my way in and out in my sleep, in the dark, even with my eyes closed. But that day, following her voice that was clearly in my mind, I got lost. It was as though the maze had changed, or maybe it was me that had changed. I was a different person than I had been before. I came home anew, with struggles and challenges that needed to be faced. I was now the person my father entrusted his company to, and the man that had broken her heart twice. And still, her voice taunted me. It lead me in one direction before I would suddenly hear it on the other side. Back and forth, round and round I went, until the voice grew silent and I dropped to the floor against the maze wall.
My skin was damp with sweat, my shirt clinging to the muscles beneath it. I felt exhausted from running in circles. But more so, I felt exhausted from the last two weeks. Finding out my father had died, leaving all those responsibilities...it was too much. Adding the fact that Bellamy was almost lost to me, to that evil heathen no less, was horrible. She was still lost to me. Just because Preston was gone didn’t mean she was mine. Did it?
If anything, I presume she hated me more.
A faint hum sounded in the corner and my head shot up from my forearms to spot its source.
Turning around one of the walls was the love of my life. The most beautiful girl I’d ever seen and would ever know. She was stunning to behold, her face and body a sight of perfection. But more than anything her heart of gold, the same one I’d shattered, shone through and manifested itself all around her. In her smile that hypnotized me. In her kisses that I could still taste. In the way she approached me silently and knelt beside me.
&nbs
p; She folded her blue dress under her and curled up next to me. And all I could do was look at her. Take her in. Burn her into my mind that was convinced she was part of my imagination.
“You’re here?” I whispered.
She nodded, rolling her lips together. I knew Bellamy enough to see that she wanted to speak. The corners of her eyes were watery and her mouth couldn’t sit still. Her dimples would appear and disappear as she opened and closed her mouth. What words were about to come out? Would they relieve me of the emptiness I’d felt since I’d let her go? Or would they merely tear apart what was left of my soul?
Without realizing it, I’d been holding a rose in my hands. The same one I was working on cutting when I heard her voice. I must have torn it off the wall by accident. My fingertips were covered in drops of dried blood, now browning against the fine fingerprint lines on each finger. I’d always loved working with the roses because they were stunning and Bellamy loved them. But they were also thorny and fickle, pinching the hell out of you and reminding you that all good things come with a price. That life was beautiful but complicated. Much like people.
“It looks different since a week ago. Your mother’s been busy,” she said, touching the rose with gentle caresses. Her touch lingered there for a moment before she dragged her hand across mine. It continued skirting across the skin of my forearm and eventually to my face.
She’d always touched my face like this. Like I was the same size as her, even though I was much larger. Like a princess loving a beast or creature that didn’t think he deserved love too. I was her rough and she was my gentle, and together we created complimentary pieces of one another.
Beast: An Anthology Page 3