by ChaShiree M.
“To the contrary, if I’m not satisfied with the work your mouth does. You cum before I say you can, then I will keep you on edge until tomorrow.”
I know my mouth has dropped open. I can’t help it. I mean, tomorrow. Is he serious? Who the hell can hold out that long?
Seriously, I will go into the bathroom and use anything I can find to bring this torture to an end. Before I let him kill me, by orgasm deprivation.
Oh yea that sounds good. Let him think he’s won. Then I will take care of it myself. Ok, I’m feeling better about this plan. Kill two birds with one stone.
“Oh no, baby, I know what your thinking. If I have to deprive you, you will be tied to this bed the whole night. There will be no sneaking and shit. You will suffer for your actions. One way or a-fucking-nother.”
“Now open your fucking mouth and suck my cock.”
“Do it exactly the way I taught you baby? That’s it. Come on baby, open wider. Your man has got to fit his gargantuan anaconda in there. Spread those fucking lips.”
I can’t do anything except what he tells me to do. I feel like I am on a suggestive drug like scopolamine or something making me into a mindless zombie.
But damn does it feel good to have any part of him touching me.
I’m high off adrenaline, need, lust, and another feeling I won’t quite examine yet. I would fuck myself with a fucking pillow if he told me too. All I can comprehend is that at the end, I might have release.
I might feel something.
Let me be clear, I feel so freaking alive right now. It’s not funny. The feeling I am having is comparable to a live firecracker before it reaches the end of the wick and explodes. I will know then my heart is truly still beating in a staccato that only I can hear.
I physically feel my nerves and limbs jumping in my body. I open my mouth, extend my tongue and lick him from his balls to the slit in his cock. He is my favorite type of lollipop, if I’m honest.
Then I lick the head of his cock and around the rim, which is one of the most sensitive spots.
I was so wrapped up having a part of him in me, I didn’t feel anything until it was too late. He shoved his cock to the back of my throat and started face fucking me.
Have you ever been face fucked before? I mean seriously.
It is hot as fuck and scary because you can’t catch your breath from the air out of your nose. Your face is being smashed into his hips as his cock is going down your throat. Now you see. Exactly.
I hollowed my cheeks and surrendered. I wanted to. I wanted, no needed him to take everything and anything from me. After all, I belong to him.
“Fuck, Fae. Shit. God damn it. Your mouth still feels like heaven even after all this time I still feel like I can’t control myself when I’m buried in there. Like a motherfucking teenager.” “I love the way you open for me and take all I give.” All of a sudden he has a wicked gleam in his eye. I feel trepidation because he can be so hard sometimes. In the best way. “Hmm, I wonder if I could get into your neck without you gagging. It took us time to get there before. Didn’t it baby?”
He starts a gradual insertion further into my mouth until I finally feel it slip past my uvula. I have to remember to make myself breathe through my nose, or at least try to because I have an overwhelming feeling of suffocating.
What the fuck. He is trying to kill me by blowjob. Holy fuck balls. Was his dick always this freaking big? I swear it is in my neck crushing my windpipe. I can’t even gag he is so far down my throat. Gag my ass, you actually have to breathe to gag. My eyes are watering, my nose is oozing snot, and I know I feel my last and final breath approaching. Nevertheless, all I want to do is swallow until he is a part of me. Sick right. I don’t give a shit. I’m alive again. Heart beating. Pulse pounding. Just fucking alive.
“Arghh”. Who knows what I’m trying to say with a mouth full of kielbasa.
“What’s that love?”
Fuck it. There is no point in trying to talk. Might as well get to work. Work I do with my throat. I squeeze my neck muscles around his dick. If I’m going to die. I am taking his meat with me.
“Fuck, shit, god damn it Fae. Let up. Release. Your. Throat. Fae. You will not take my motherfucking essence without me giving it to you.”
Although I hear what he is saying and the struggle he is having to stay in control. To not cave into the instinct we both know he has for giving me his shot.
“Fuck, fuck, Faeeeeeeeeee.”
Yes. Got him. Ha. My inner vixen is doing a crotch dance. That will teach him to underestimate me. I may have been out of practice for a while but I still remember the game… Oh shit. I know that look.
“So, you think you got one up on me huh? Just for that, you don’t’ get to come for the next four hours.”
Crap. Vixen down, vixen down. Somebody resuscitate. I don gone and done it.
“Ren I’m sorry. I was just so” oh shit. “Ren noooooo.” Mob boy has his face in my vajayjay. I swear I’m about to have a heart attack. I poked the beast and now I’m in it, pussy deep. He is licking me like I am the last ice cream he will ever have on earth. He needs to finish it before anyone takes it from him. As he goes from my slit to my overextended nub, I want to buck against him for more pressure. I am almost to nirvana. Between the restraints and his arm on my abdomen keeping me down, I am at his complete mercy.
Holy jellybeans. He is a stark raving lunatic down there. Every time I feel like he will let me go over, he pulls back and stops.
“Dammit Ren, please. I’m so sorry. I had to do it. Please Ren I can’t do this. I’m dying. Please please…” I don’t even realize I’m sobbing uncontrollably. All I want is to feel the electrical current take me over. I need him to forgive me. I need the latter more than I need anything else in this world. I’m not even sure I believe I deserve it.
“Oh Fae. My poor fairy. What’s wrong? You need to come huh? You need me to let you fly, right? Tsk tsk tsk…I haven’t broken you nearly enough. This will go on all night, my love. Until I feel like your penance to me has been paid.”
Oh no. Don’t do it. I can’t take it. I know it’s what I’m thinking, but I don’t bother saying it. Before I can, the straps are being loosened and I’m turned around so my head is hanging off the bed. I start dripping immediately. I know what’s coming next. It should give me apprehension but I feel turned on by the dominance he is about to display. All I can do is moan. Before he says anything, I assume the position; mouth open, tongue out.
“Fata, you remember. Good girl. I’m going to fuck your face so hard. I’m going to cum into your neck and you better swallow every drop. If any escapes, I will prolong this even longer. Now puff those cheeks out. That’s my girl. Shit. Your mouth has always been the best.” He begins his brutal pace of slamming his rod into my throat. I feel my eyes water but I don’t want it to end. I need this to redeem myself.
I feel something happening, but I don’t know what. I mentally shake it off and bring myself back to the present with him.
“Fuck baby. Take a deep breath. Remember to breathe through your nose, baby. Good. Yes, just like that. Your sweet fucking mouth is the only thing that can make me lose control. But fuck if I care…” Every time he thrusts, his balls cover my nose. I feel the panic set in, but I know he wouldn’t really hurt me. Right? I mean I don’t’ think so. Oh God, did I hurt him that bad? Is that what this is?
Suddenly, I’m coughing and gagging. I’m aware that I can no longer see. My eyes are blurring and everything looks like one big blob. Filled with tears, I’m flailing around trying to signal to him I’m done. I can’t take anymore. He has succeeded in breaking me. Is this what a seizure feels like? I can’t stop shaking. Oh crap balls. Am I crying now?
“Fae. Did I hurt you? I’m sorry baby. Please don’t cry. Shh..Shh. Baby I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please say something love.”
I’m hiccupping uncontrollably now. My body feels like it has been through a detox and finally cleaned out. Ironic, conside
ring I haven’t even come yet. With all of these emotions warring through me I have no outlet other than tears.
“Fae, if I have gone too far please tell me. I never meant to harm you physically. I just want you to feel a bit of the hell and denial I have been forced to face since you walked out on me.”
“N-no, I’m o-ok. I have been so dead inside since the moment I ch-chose to walk out. All of the emotions are finally spilling over. I’m so sorry Ren. You have to know I never would have chosen to leave you guys if I didn’t really feel I had no alternative.”
“Fata, I’m sure you thought you were doing the right thing. I don’t know why. But it was never the right decision to leave us. I still don’t understand why, baby. Can you tell me what the hell happened? Why would you do this to us? I have gone over it and over it and I couldn’t figure out why you would leave the life we had built. Were you happy doing whatever it is you have been doing this whole time? Was there someone else? Were you unhappy?”
He looks extremely angry and worried at the same time. My heart hurts for him. For us. For me. I owe him an explanation. I owe him my heart bleeding out on the concrete, spilling into the street being used as a sacrificial lamb.
I get up slowly to put on a shirt and I sit in an armchair in the corner. Pulling my knees to my chin, I look out the window. I begin telling him of the darkness my siblings and I lived with.
“My father is the leader of a cult. He found each one of his wives in different countries while on a ‘spiritual hiatus’. Each wife gave birth to a son and a daughter. My four brothers were born first and only a year apart. I am not sure why he had sons considering how he treated them in the end. I think it has to do with showing how much of a man he was because all of his first born were boys.”
“Anyway, by the time I turned fourteen, my brothers had been kicked out. They posed too much of a threat, physically, intellectually and mentally to our fathers control. My brothers did not fall in line with him or his teachings and he hated that. I think he felt he would be able to bring my brothers in to lead one day. However, he miscalculated. What he didn’t anticipate was they would love my sisters and I more than anything in the world. They would protect us and vowed to get us out. When he realized they didn’t want anything to do with his world, he ripped them from us.”
“The night ED (Evil Dad) issued the order for my brothers to be removed, he called a meeting of his spiritual advisors. These secret meetings took place in the basement of the community room. In this room, behind the boiler is a secret compartment my brother Leif showed me. I used this spot as a private place to go when I wanted to cry. We were not allowed to show emotions because it was a sign of weakness.”
“Right after he told my brothers to leave, I ran there to cry. I don’t know how long I was in there. Eventually I heard my father come in followed by other men.”
I didn’t realize I was crying, I felt Ren come up behind me and lift me onto his lap. I must have been shaking badly for him to also bring me a blanket to wrap me in.
“It’s ok precious. We don’t have to talk about this anymore. I understand. It’s ok baby. Let it go.”
Shaking my head frantically I try to get him to understand that I have to get this out. Holding it in all these years has been a cancer eating away at my insides. A poison slowly working its way into the very core of my soul. It changed my DNA from the inside out. I am literally and completely a different person because I have carried this for so long without an outlet.
“I hear ED (Evil Dad) talking about how the competition has been eliminated. Their positions have been secured. One of the men, his name is Alto, my father’s enforcer. He asked ED; “What about the girls? When will they be ready for conversion?” I had no idea what he meant by conversion. Whatever it was since it involved ED it wasn’t good.”
“It never occurred he was referring to me and my sisters until I heard my father say; ‘My daughters will be of age when they turn seventeen years old. The first one up will be Fae’.”
“Upon hearing my name I began to panic. I didn’t have anywhere to go. My only option was to sit and listen as my life was planned out and handed over to the highest bidder. In this case, the highest earner.”
“Eventually Alto spoke up and his next sentence, sent goosebumps up my arm. He says to the room full of men, “Fae is mine. I have had my eye on her since last summer. As head enforcer I should get first pick. She will be my reward.” It still feels like I’m back there. In that compartment stuck listening to my life end before I even had a chance for it to begin.”
“Fae, I wish you had told me, baby. I would have tracked him down and killed him, baby. Hell I am so fucking mad, I could go and do it right now. The only thing stopping me is that we have unfinished business. Until I cement the bond we had once again, I will not be leaving your side for longer than a few hours to go and check on my businesses.”
I turn my head to look at this amazing man and I am in awe. Here he is trying to protect me and make me feel better after I almost destroyed him. He has always been my rock and my compass. Now I am wondering why I didn’t just trust in him in the first place to take care of me like he always has. I lean over and kiss him. A chaste kiss, but in it I hope it conveys my gratitude, love, devotion, and my apology. As wrung out as I feel and I don’t want to continue, I have to get this out so I can finally move on. Finally release its hold on me.
“Instead of defending me and telling that man, who was part soldier and part monster, I belonged to no one. As his daughter I was not an option and you know what he said Ren? My father sat in that room and said ‘DONE’. That day I realized my sisters and I were expendable and in danger. Our mothers were defenseless and defended him no matter what. He beat and berated them and they still moved heaven and earth for him whenever he told them too. It was like the moment they met him, they lost themselves and only existed as a shell of who they once were.”
“After ED and his men left I rushed out of there and ran to the main house to find my brothers before they left. I wanted to tell them what I heard. I wanted to beg them to take us with them. However, I was too late.
“Fae, lets stop ok. We can finish this another day, my love. You have endured enough for the night. Hell, you have endured enough for centuries. I want to love on you now baby, so you know you’re home and safe.”
“No, Ren. I need to get this out. I need you to understand why it’s better for you to let me leave and never come back. You have to see the danger you and Tony are in with me being here. ED will never let me have the two of you. If he has to kill you, he will. Or even worse, he could get his hands on Tony. Take him to the compound, where we would never see him again. He would be raised by that evil man. Then I would be dead because I would trade my life to get him out of there.”
Taking my hand and turning my body to face him, Ren looks deeply into my eyes. I can see the anger, pain, and sorrow for all that I have gone through. Taking a deep breath, he grabs my face and says “First of all, I am going to spank your ass for saying and thinking shit like that. It is not a mistake having you back here. I don’t believe it was a mistake that we met when we did. I know that day in the street we were supposed to meet and fall in love and have Tony. Furthermore, I was meant to be your protector and the person to shield you against all evil. But for me to do that, you need to trust and confide in me. Right now, I think you should finish your story so that I may help you shoulder your fear and pain.
This wonderful, strong and virile man has no idea how much strength I am drawing from him. When I was away, it was his strength that kept me strong enough to stay away. The knowledge that being gone from him is the same he would do for me. Having him hold me and being welcomed back home after eight years, is a dream I never thought I would get. There is a part of me that wonders if this is real and simple; or is he holding retribution until it will have the most impact and decimate me?
“So what happened next baby?”
“I didn’t know what to do. I w
aited bidding my time, hoping one day to the next for a form of communication from my brothers. I knew we had to get out but I wasn’t sure how to do it without help. I started watching the guards, learning their routine and anything else I could find that we may need to know. I didn’t know what I would do with the information. I knew I had to try. I was the oldest of my sisters locked behind the walls and it was my job to save us.”
“Baby you were so young yourself to have to deal with this. Who was looking for you thru out all of this?”
“It didn’t matter Ren. It was now my job to take care of them and to give hope when I had none.”
“A year passed before we finally received the first letter. I remember being excited. I thought, finally I will have a chance to get us out. Wherever that letter came from, I knew that’s where we’re going. However, as I am reading the letter, our chance for escape dissipated when I read they had enlisted in the marines.
They were strong and would make great soldiers. A part of me couldn’t help feeling dejected and angry because I needed them to help get us out. I understand now how they felt. They had no way of supporting us. Even though our dad was evil, they knew he would never hurt any of us. We were how he controlled our moms. It all seemed hopeless after the letter.
I took each day as it came. Continued being the buffer between my sisters and my father. Eventually, I found myself taking the blame. Confessing to things I didn’t do and I’m not entirely sure my sisters did either, so he would stay focused on me and not them.
It all became detrimental one day out of the blue. After the lessons my dad had all the kids in the compound sit through, he called my sisters and I into our private family room. Apparently, he found a fashion magazine and makeup under the toy box in our playroom. Anything from outside the compound, he did not specifically sanction was strictly forbidden. He wanted answers about whose it was and where it came from.”