by ChaShiree M.
“I understand Ren and I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I didn’t want to leave and I haven’t felt alive since I walked away. This is the most feeling I have felt in 8 years. I don’t know how to make it up to you, but I promise I will never leave again. I love you both so much and I will make this right.”
“Enough baby. We will move past this. Starting with this.”
“He grabs me around my neck and I feel my pulse begin to speed up. Licking my lips, I look in his face and I see the beast. I feel this shudder embrace my body because I know what is coming next.
REN
I grab her around her neck and I can feel her pulse speed up. Looking into her eyes I see the animalistic spirit stir there and I know I’ve got her. “Is my girl aching? Is that why you got your pearl in twist? You waiting on me to unleash huh. You know I’ve kept it tame even considering how hard I was on you last night. But we both know it’s nothing compared to what I can do, and am going to do.” I push her shoulders down and like the good girl she is she kneels down and looks up at me expectedly with a twinkle in her eye. This is what she has been waiting for.
Without warning, I shove my cock into the back of her throat. She gags all over it and it is sexy as fuck. “That’s right. Look at my baby, taking this fucking snake down your throat like a good girl. You like having daddy’s meat in your neck don’t you?”
I can see the outline of my dick in her throat as I move it in and out. That alone is enough to make me grunt like a savage. There is nothing sexier than that. Watching your woman swallow your manhood like she is starving. I rub her head and tell her how pleased I am she remembers. I know she thinks I forgot because I didn’t bring it out last night, but last night was not about that. Last night was about cementing our bond and getting my pound of flesh. This, this is about making sure she remembers the other part of who we are.
“Look at my baby, you got my milk spilling out of your mouth mixed with your saliva. Do you know what an erotic sight that makes baby?”
She swallows and I fucking almost lose my shit. I can see the sweat forming on her forehead and even that is a turn on. Sweat, spit, milk…. fuck, look at her squirm and moan. Her eyes are begging me to put her out of her misery and I feel compelled.
“Is my hot little bitch in pain? Do you need daddy to let you come?” She nods frantically. I debate not letting her come, but I don’t feel much like holding out myself. “Put your hands between your legs and rub my pussy, but you do not get to come until I tell you.”
She puts her hands in her sopping wet pussy and I swear I can hear the swishing the wetness is making. As she rubs it is the most delicious fucking sound I have ever heard. I am seconds away from licking all that sweet frosting off her and the floor. Am I losing my damn mind? Probably. But it is my fucking pussy and my mother fucking woman so I can do what the fuck I want…but damn it I am not taking my dick out of this wet hot cave it is in. He would revolt like a bitch.
O.M.G. This is what the fuck I have been missing. The savage beast he turns into when he really wants to remind me. Is this why I wouldn’t let myself believe this was real? Is it because I was missing this element that was fundamentally us. I should feel ashamed right? That I need him to treat me like a horny shameless hussy to be happy, but fuck it…I love it.
I moan around his dick because I know how much he loves it when I do that.
“Come on baby get up.” I shake my head no I don’t want to stop what I am doing. I love this feeling of control and I don’t want to give it up even though I need him to fuck me desperately. Suddenly I’m yanked to my feet and slammed against the wall. That act is so Ren and it makes my pulse kick in even more. I love being handled by him. I no longer belong to myself but to him.
As if he can read my mind… “Who fucking owns you Fae?”
“You do.”
“Is that how you address me. Try again baby. Who owns you?”
“You do, Sir.”
“That’s right my little fairy. I own everything about you. From your beautiful blonde hair, down to those pink fucking toe nails. That beautiful pink flower you have between your legs is mine too baby…isn’t that right? I own this pussy and that ass. So don’t you ever try to deny me my fucking body ever again by ignoring or leaving me. Do you fucking understand me?”
The whole time he is giving me this speech, his hand around my neck gets tighter and my pussy gets wetter. This display of dominance makes me feel so safe and loved that I would agree to anything right now. “Yes Sir. I understand.” The admission comes out breather then I intended, but I have no control over any part of myself right now and I don’t give a shit.
He lifts me up, tells me to wrap my legs around his waist and prepares to impale me on his cock when we both turn toward the garage. In one swift motion he drops me to my feet, pulls his pants up and throws his t-shirt back over my head just in time to see Tony come barreling through the door. Although I am still buzzed and I need release like you wouldn’t believe, there is nothing better than seeing my son walk through the door right towards me and wrap his arms around me.
“I’m so glad you’re still here mom. I thought my uncles were going to make you leave me again.” I look at this sweet boy and hold back the tears gathering in my eyes.
“Baby, there is nothing in this whole wide world that would make me leave you ever again. Ok? I know it is going to take time for you to believe it, but I promise I will be here every day helping you learn to trust it’s true.”
I look over at Ren and we share a passing look full of heat and promises for later. Right now I need to be a mom and there is nothing more important than that. I walk over the stove to prepare dinner when I hear laughter behind me. Turning I see Ren and Tony playing around and my heart warms with more love then I can handle. In this very room, at this very moment, is my whole life. I know my father is still out there, but that is another problem for another day. Today, I am going to give thanks for this second chance with my son, my husband and I will cherish it for the rest of my Life.
3 months later
It’s such a beautiful day out. A great day for a BBQ, but an even greater day for a birthday party.
“Mom, when is it time for the ice cream and cake?” My boy bounds towards me sounding off. I reach over and ruffle his hair. Three months has passed and I never dreamed I would be here now and get this chance. I have my husband and son back and my brothers and sisters have all come around thanks to their eagerness to get their hands on my son.
Tony is now surrounded by so much love from his aunts and uncles that I couldn’t be happier for him. Now don’t get me wrong, it was not a smooth transition getting here.
After the confrontation and my confession, I gave everybody some space so they could digest the information. A few weeks passed and I decided to try and see how a dinner party would go with everyone and…maybe it was too soon.
My husband, who was a saint by the way, had to endure very unsavory accusations thrown his way about statutory rape and manipulation. Needless to say this made me very angry on his behalf. However, my gorgeous, wonderful husband refused to let me go to his defense. He said he didn’t want me to be at odds with my siblings over him, because if it was his sister he would be the same way.
Instead he invited them into his study, making me extremely nervous. I didn’t know what to expect. All I did know was that if they hurt him in any way my relationship with my brothers would be through. To my surprise, they emerged 2 hours later like nothing ever happened.
He refuses to disclose any information to me what was said or what happened. I guess that has to be a conversation for another day. I don’t really care because as long as it worked out ok, I guess it is not the journey but the destination.
“Soon baby. Why aren’t’ you outside playing with your friends?”
His face turns red, which means he is embarrassed.
“Auntie Phoenix won’t stop kissing and pinching my cheeks. My friends keep laughing at me.”
&n
bsp; “Tony.” Uh-oh here comes Phoenix.
“Mom got to go.”
“Fae, have you seen Tony?”
“Phe quit torturing my baby.”
“I can’t help it. I love him so much and we missed so much of his life.”
I can see the tears in her eyes and I would like to stop them before they pour out. I am emotional enough as it is. I don’t need to add her sappy crap on to my hormonal stuff.
“I know honey and I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok Fae. We all understand why you did it. I’m just so happy for you. You got your love and life back.”
It hasn’t escaped my notice that she has a faraway look in her eyes. I saw that same look at the bar and a few more times since then. But she never seems to be ready to talk about it.
“Phoenix, you got anything you want to talk about yet?”
“There is nothing to say. He appeared, made me feel things I have never felt and just as fast as he came; he disappeared after we parted and I haven’t seen him since. I mean I know its crazy, right? I don’t’ even know him and I’m acting like we have been together forever. But I felt something you know and I swear he did too, but I guess not.”
My heart aches for her. This is exactly what I didn’t want for her. She is only 19 years old. She has yet to live and love truly. If she thinks this broke her heart, wait until it is real love. I hope she will never know a pain like losing that kind of love.
“Hey, I know what will cheer you up. You’re going to be Aunt again in about 6 months.”
I say while rubbing my hands over my belly.
“OMG. Fae really?!?” She is literally jumping up and down.
“What’s going on in here?” No matter how many times a day I look at this man, seeing him walk into a room still makes my lady bit quiver, slick and tighten in self-preservation.
With his hands wrapped around my waist he says “I see you told her about our little surprise huh.”
“Yea she needed to be cheered up.”
“What? Why? Are you upset? Was it a guy? Should I pay him a visit?”
Ren has become quite the adoptive brother to my sisters, but he especially took on a guardian role with Phoenix. I think it is because she is the youngest and the most fragile.
“No, Ren I’m ok. I just hope to one day have the love you and Fae have. Ya know?”
She is right. My love waited for me for 8 years. He built the dream house we used to talk about, after hours of making love and envisioning our future together. I had forgotten all of those dreams along the way, probably for self-preservation reasons. He built our life in my absence and then came to get me so I could live it with him and our son.
“Babe, is everyone here already?” “Yea except for Kea.”
“Has anyone tried to call her and find out why she is not here yet?”
“I did but the phone went straight to voicemail. I figured she was caught up with one of the kids at the free clinic or something and would be here soon.”
I can read the worry on his and Phoenix’s face, but I am convinced she is fine and until I know otherwise, I am operating as such.
Of course the shadow of our father is still there. Though there have been no major incidences aside from a truck that delivered a box of dead flowers infested with maggots to Phoenix. It confirmed what we all knew, that he has always known where we are. We keep waiting for something to happen or for him to show up; but I refuse to let him steal any more time from me. Between my brothers and now Ren and his team, I no longer feel the need to run to protect those I love.
“Ok, Ren can you grab the cake and walk it outside. I am going to get the candles and then we are good to go.”
“Of course babe.”
Walking outside, I’m so excited to see all of my favorite people in one place. Tony sees the cake and runs over to me. I kiss my baby and prepare to light his candles. Right as I flick the match, I hear a phone ring off in the distance. I know it’s not Rens, cause he knows better. I turn around to chastise one of my brothers and as soon as I see Jairo’s face, I know our nightmare has finally come true.
“Kea?” he nods his head and the rest of my brother run out of the party so fast I don’t even get a chance to ask what happened. I look toward Ren and I nod my head. I know he wants to be a part of this and though this is my baby’s birthday party, if his going will somehow help my sister, I can only give my blessing.
Phoenix runs to me crying and even though I want to comfort her, I know it is only the beginning of our nightmare.
The End
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my debut into the world of fiction. I hope you enjoyed it and will look forward to many more. Yes!!! There is more. I am busy as we speak planning the rest of the series as the characters speak to me and I promise to do my best to not keep you waiting long. Below you will find the titles of the upcoming books. They may or may not be in order of release, but they will be coming nonetheless. I will put them on Goodreads for your TBR shelf as soon as I can. Thanks again!!
ChaShiree M.
Coming Soon- The Life She Wished For (Phoenix & Mikhail)
Coming Soon- The Life She Couldn’t See (Kea & Colton)
Coming Soon- The Life He Searched For (Fae and Ren 1.5) Ren’s POV
Coming Soon- The Life She Dared Not Say (Quetzal and Manny)
As every author knows, no book can get written without a plan of some sort, vision, determination but most of all support of those around you. I had that in spades.
To my Mom, you have always taught my brother and I that we could do anything we put our minds to and finally to reach for the stars and never give up. And even though we complain, you let us know that no matter what you will always love us and we will always be your babies. You have no idea how much this unconditional love has meant to me and how it has helped to push me to strive for my dreams and greater things and I love you for it everyday. I did it Mom!!!
To my older sister Tamara. You have endured every wife and mothers worst nightmare and somehow you still manage to be strong and caring. You are truly an inspiration for surviving when life throws you the worst of curveballs and I am blessed to have you as an example of strength and fortitude. I love you!
To Wesley my obnoxiously cute little brother who is a more obnoxious grown man. I love you dude. That is all!! Now finish your book even if you gotta start over.
To my Dad that taught me to take care of my business and find a way to work for myself….this is my first step. Thank you daddy. Love you.
To my Auntie San. What Can I say? I cannot remember a time when you were not in my life rooting me on and being present for every milestone even when I was in college. I love you for being someone I can always turn to, not judging things I say and do and for validating me when I couldn’t do it for myself. I love you to the moon and back.
To Aileysha, Alrissa, Chequita, Ashlei, Peggy and Sarah, from the moment I told you I was writing a book, you 6 have been my cheerleaders even when I didn’t think I would make it. No one would be able to give up with the kind of support you ladies give and I am grateful for it everyday. You have been my reviewers, my commentators and my sanity. I love you girls!!!!!
To my editor Melinda Grier. We met by chance at KIKC17 and who knew that a 4-hour drive and a conversation would lead us both on this journey to doing what we love. I am so blessed to have found you. Not only are you my editor, you are like a kindred spirit in so many ways. Thank you for reading my words, assuring me they are great and for fixing them….lol…I look forward to watching your new editing business flourish and to making more beautiful books with you.
To my special squad of Vets (bet you didn’t know I gave you ladies a name) KL Donn, DC Renee, Rochelle Paige, Pam Godwin, Annelise Reynolds and LeAnn Ashers: You ladies have been where I am going and are still dominating the scene. Even with all the fires you have burning, you still took the time out to mentor me, answer questions and to deal with my mini meltdowns with humor and words of w
isdom that made me feel not so dumb for giving this a shot. You have no idea how much it means to me to have women whose words have touched me so much and in so many ways, take time to talk to me over the phone, Facebook messenger and etc. You didn’t have to do it, but you did and I unequivocally know without your words both on page and in real-time, I would have given up. So thank you all!!!!
Finally to the Lifers. My own personal squad of ladies who even though I didn’t have a book out yet, took a chance on me and joined my still building readers page and bared with me as I figured out what I wanted it to look like, feel like and say daily. You ladies have been a great source of laughter and pick me up whenever I asked for it and I hope I don’t let you down with this baby. I appreciate your support and your unearned loyalty and following (though hopefully I have earned it with this debut). There will be many more to come. I look forward to taking you on the ride.
Last but certainly not least: to the 8 1/2 bright stars in my sometimes dark mind; Jaila, DeDe, J-man, Ameriah, Javin, Lundyn, Jelaya and Augest and mew baby Maxwell not yet born, Titi loves you guys more than you will ever know and I do this to also show you to reach as high as you can go and higher. Nothing is ever out of reach.
This has been a long time coming and a labor of love. As my first book, it will always be my baby but I am so excited to be working on the next one and to make this a dream that excels.