It was exciting. Her doubts of last night didn’t trouble her at all today.
Now, she felt really young, and that was a whole new feeling for her. She’d never felt young. She’d always been goal-oriented and determined to wrestle a little security out of life.
Well, she had security, finally, as much as anyone did. She had money in the bank, a college fund for Sylvie and a solid retirement plan. Her house was half paid for.
And for this Christmas season, with Darius, she could afford to feel like a girl again, to get all flushed and breathless, to have this secret sex thing between them. It made her smile to herself to think that nobody had a clue what would happen out at his place tonight.
Before he left, during a lull when there was no one in the house but the two of them, he pulled her into the master bathroom and shut the door.
“One kiss. And then I’ll go.”
She started to argue that she had a job to do and he was interfering with it, but why get on his case for something she wanted as much as he seemed to? So she tipped her face up to him, and his beautiful mouth came down on hers.
The kiss hollowed her out down low and left her wonderfully breathless. He tried to steal a second one.
But she put her fingers to his soft lips. “Tonight.” He sucked those fingers into his mouth and swirled his tongue around them. “You say I’m bad,” she accused.
He laughed then—and stole one more kiss before he let her go.
* * *
Dare’s house on the edge of the forest was two stories, the porch wide and welcoming, sided in natural wood shingles and stone. He was waiting on the step, wearing his usual jeans and boots and also a heavy red-and-black plaid jacket, the collar turned up against the cold. Apparently, he’d been sitting there for a while. The brim of his black cowboy hat held a dusting of snow. A floppy-eared white dog sat beside him.
Ava stopped the Suburban in front of the porch, and he rose and came down the steps to her, pulling open her door and leaning into her, bringing the sharp, cold scent of snow and a hint of evergreen. “You made it.” She nodded, feeling strangely shy and way too excited at the prospect of the evening ahead. “This is Daisy.” The dog, who’d come to sit a few feet away, cocked an ear at Ava.
“Hello, Daisy.”
“Now you can come meet my horses,” he said.
She grabbed her wool beanie off the passenger seat and put it on, then took his offered hand. His fingers were surprisingly warm as he helped her down to the snowy ground.
Gathering her coat a little closer around her, she went where he led, across a cleared space, past a faded red barn to a stretch of paddock fence.
The horses spotted them and trotted over—three of them, a white mare and two geldings, one black, one a bay. “Josie, Clem and Sweet Sam, meet Ava.” They greeted her with soft snuffling sounds. Dare had three small half-withered apples in his pockets. “Here. They’ll love you forever.” He passed them to her, and she gave each horse a treat.
Then she bent to pet Daisy, who’d followed them from the car. “In school, you always seemed like a guy who’d go to Yale,” she said. “Preppy, you know? And a jock. I never made you for a cowboy.”
He took her hand and pulled her to her feet again. “I’ve got three horses and a barn, but I wouldn’t say I qualify as a cowboy.”
She thought about kissing him and felt shy all over again. “What about the hat?”
He tipped the snowy brim at her. “The hat, least of all—and in high school I didn’t know what I wanted, really. Now I do. I like horses, and I like a place with lots of trees. And I have a workshop in the basement. I do some mediocre carpentry when I have the time.” He pointed off across the paddock. “I own twenty acres, most of it forest.”
“It’s a lot to manage, isn’t it—I mean, what with running Bravo Steelworks, too?”
“I have help. His name is Corky. He lives in what used to be the foreman’s cottage, on the far side of the barn. Corky does most of the cowboying around here. He works with the horses, mends the fence and takes care of Daisy when I’m not around.”
“Sylvie would love it here.” The words kind of slipped out, and she regretted them instantly.
“Bring Sylvie next time.”
She stared off toward the barn. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not a good idea. This is supposed to be a secret, remember? And it ends with the New Year.”
“So?”
“So, it’s not a good idea to drag Sylvie into the middle of it.”
“Nobody’s dragging Sylvie anywhere. I like your daughter. She and I get along. She’s a great kid, and we’re friends—as much as a grown-up can be friends with a seven-year-old. And that’s completely independent of what’s going on with you and me. When January comes, I’m not suddenly going to pretend Sylvie doesn’t exist. So what’s her coming here going to hurt?”
“I just don’t want to put ideas in her head that are never coming true.”
“You won’t be. Believe me.”
Ava so didn’t want to be having this conversation. “It’s nice of you to offer. And I’ll, um, give it some thought, okay?” It was a lie. There was nothing to think about. She braced for him to keep pushing.
But he gave it up. “Fair enough.” He took her hand again, his big, warm fingers sliding between her cold ones. “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”
* * *
They took off their coats and hats and boots at the door, and he gave her a quick tour.
The house had four bedrooms, with a central great room and a big, modern kitchen. He had one of those indoor grills, and dinner was simple and really good—lamb chops, oven-browned potatoes, mixed vegetables and a green salad.
They sat at the smaller of the two tables, in a nook right off the kitchen area. It kind of was like a date, a guy and a girl who’d known each other once, but not very well, getting to know each other again.
She said, “You went to Las Vegas after high school...”
“My dad wanted me to get a business degree and then take over at Bravo Steelworks. The steelworks was always his baby. Most of the family fortune came from my mom’s side, but my dad had the steelworks before they were married. He’d built that business himself from the ground up. He eventually figured out that none of us—none of my mom’s kids, none of Willow’s kids—wanted to run a metal fabricating business, so he put the pressure on me.”
“Why you?”
“I don’t know, really. Maybe because I’m the oldest. He wanted the business to stay in the family, so he was determined one of us would take his place when he retired. I rebelled and ran off to Vegas. I worked construction and in the casinos dealing blackjack. Eventually I moved to Los Angeles. Same thing. Odd jobs. I got work with a landscaper and then a guy who built decks and fences.”
“But then you did come back to take over for your dad.”
“Yeah. After four years of knocking around, I realized I’d been rebelling just to prove that I could, that I actually wanted what my dad wanted for me. So I went to CU and then I moved home for good. I learned to run the family business—and I know that look in your eye, Ava. You want to ask me something else, and you’re not sure you should.”
She fiddled with her water glass and reminded herself that she wasn’t here to learn his life story.
But then he leaned into her and touched her chin with the tip of his finger, causing a lovely little shiver of anticipation. “Ask me.”
And she did. “How come you never got married?”
“I almost did. Twice. There was a girl I lived with in LA. She wanted to get married. I didn’t, but I liked her a lot, and I didn’t want to lose her. I proposed. She accepted at first but then called it off. She said she couldn’t marry a man who did
n’t really love her.”
“Did you love her?”
He made a rueful sort of sound. “Got me there. No. I liked her, but it wasn’t love.”
“And the second time?”
“That was after I finished school and moved back to town. Marla Winston worked as a loan officer at the local branch of Dalton’s bank.” Dalton Ames, Clara’s husband, was president and CEO of Ames Bank and Trust, which had branches all over Colorado, including one in Justice Creek. “Marla and I were together for three years. We were going to get married, but she got an offer for a great job in Oklahoma City. She wanted to take it. A lot. And I didn’t want to move to Oklahoma City. I guess you could say I didn’t love Marla enough.”
She felt surprisingly close to him right then, felt that deep down, they were similar. He’d never gotten married—and she’d never wanted to. “I never planned to get married. I had big dreams to get out in the world and make lots of money all on my own and never be dependent on some guy.”
“What changed your mind about marriage?”
“Craig. He just...never gave up. I met him over at the county fairgrounds, at the Summer Daze Rodeo. He was on leave from the marines and said he’d always wanted to see the Rockies. He asked me out. I went. I had fun with him. And then his leave ended, and he was gone. I never expected to see him again. But then he started writing to me—actual letters. I wrote back. Then there were calls, emails, texts. And over the next couple of years, he showed up to see me every leave he got. I guess I just couldn’t help falling for him. It was like his love was contagious.”
Dare smiled, but his eyes remained serious. “So you married him even though marriage wasn’t in your plans.”
“I did. And we were happy.” Most of the time, anyway. “And he gave me Sylvie. And then...” It still hurt, after all this time, to say it. “He ran over a land mine in Afghanistan and died instantly.”
Darius reached across the table, took her hand and rubbed his thumb across the back of it. A little spear of pleasure pierced her at his touch, but it wasn’t enough to banish the feeling of loss.
She added, “So I packed up my daughter and came home to Justice Creek. There was nothing for me in San Diego. Craig’s mom had died years before. I never even met her. His dad’s remarried and lives in Arizona.”
“I’m sorry, Ava. So sorry.”
She gave him a wobbly smile and wondered what was wrong with her to be babbling on about Craig. “Well.” She pulled free of his hold and pushed back her chair. “We should clear off the dishes.”
“Stop. Leave everything right where it is.” He got up and came around the table to her.
“But—”
“I’ll deal with it later.” He claimed her hand again. “Let’s go sit by the fire.” And he led her out into the great room where he pulled her down onto his big leather sofa, hooked an arm around her and gathered her close to his side. Daisy, who’d followed them from the kitchen, stretched out on the rug with a long doggy sigh.
Ava rested her head on Dare’s shoulder and stared into the fire. It was nice, sitting there with him. But then she tipped her chin up to look at him, and everything changed.
Desire. She saw it, right there in his eyes. A hot blue flame.
“Darius...”
“Ava.” And he kissed her.
Oh, the man did know how to kiss. He eased himself back across the sofa arm, bringing his stocking feet up to the cushions, pulling her with him, guiding her to stretch out on top of him. He felt so good beneath her. She loved the solidness of him, the heat of him, the strength in his arms around her.
The kisses went on and on. She speared her fingers into his hair, stroked a hungry caress down the strong column of his neck, clutched the muscular bulge of his shoulder.
And she didn’t stop there. She slid her hand down between them and cradled him through the front of his jeans. He moaned when she did that and palmed her breast, finding her nipple, rubbing it to aching hardness through the barrier of her bra and sweater.
She longed for more—for everything. To get out of her clothes and feel him, skin to skin.
But he didn’t start undressing her. He just kept kissing and caressing her until she felt like she just might spontaneously combust.
She tugged on the collar of his soft flannel shirt and then tried to slip the top button free of the buttonhole.
But he caught her hand.
She broke his hold—and went for that button again.
Again he caught her hand. “Wait,” he said in a rough whisper.
“For what?” She bit his lower lip. Because he tasted so good and he deserved a little pain for how crazy he was making her.
He lifted up from the sofa arm and caught her mouth before she could pull away.
And then they were kissing again. Kissing and kissing. She was on fire for him. He was ready, too, no denying that, so hard he had to be aching.
“Darius. Please...”
But instead of pulling off her sweater or unbuttoning his shirt as she longed for him to do, he only framed her face between his hands.
Dizzy with excitement and building frustration, she opened her eyes and glared down at him. “Darius, what is going on? You kiss me like you can’t get enough of me.”
“Because I can’t.”
“Then why do we both still have all our clothes on?”
He pulled her closer. She moaned as he caught her earlobe between his teeth and worried it gently, sending sparks of need flashing across her jaw and then downward, all the way to where she couldn’t wait another second to be filled with him.
He spoke into the ear he’d just bitten. “Yesterday, I almost took you up against a wall in a vacant house.”
“Did you hear me objecting?”
“No, but since then, I’ve been giving this thing between us some thought.”
“Oh, please don’t,” she pleaded. “No thinking is necessary. It’s doing that’s called for here.”
“Uh-uh.” He bit her earlobe again. She moaned and punched him in the arm. Not too hard, just enough to make her frustration crystal clear. And then he went and said something that tugged on her heart. “I wanted to kiss you so bad in high school.”
Ava sighed. She couldn’t help it. It was years ago. They were kids, and she’d hardly known him. But still. It touched her to hear him say he’d yearned for her kiss.
She laid her head on his chest and confessed, “I waited that whole school year for you to ask me out again.”
He made a low, self-mocking sound. “I didn’t have the guts. I knew you’d only turn me down.”
A sharp laugh escaped her, one that skated a little too close to a sob. “And I would’ve, too.”
“You were a hard case, Ava.” She felt his lips in her hair. “Still are.”
“Well, yeah. A little. Maybe.”
“But I like you. I always have. And I want this Christmas to be really good. For both of us. I want it to be everything we never had, everything we couldn’t have all those years ago, because you thought I was trouble for you and you wouldn’t take a chance on me.”
Her throat clutched. “I did think you were trouble. Things came so easy for you—plus, I had a future to make, and I couldn’t allow myself to get distracted by a guy.”
And speaking of distracting her, he was doing it right now, running his warm hands down her back, rubbing, caressing. It felt like heaven. She cuddled closer with another sigh.
He stroked a slow hand down her hair. “There’s a lot to be said for getting right down to it.”
“Amen.”
“But sometimes it doesn’t hurt to take your time.”
She flattened her hands on his chest and rested her chin on them so she could look in his eyes. “I get that, if you have a lot of time. We don’t
.”
“We have till New Year’s. And that’s a whole month away.” With the pad of his index finger, he followed the line of her hair along her cheek. He just kept on touching her, as though he couldn’t get enough of the feel of her skin. “I don’t want to rush this,” he said. “Anticipation is a good thing.”
“Well, I’m certainly full of anticipation.”
He traced the shape of her ear. “I just want to make it good, you know?”
“What you’re saying is that you want to make me crazy.”
“You’re right. I do. I want us to drive each other crazy, so that when it happens it will be even better than if we rushed it.” He cradled her face again, and then he kissed her. She savored the perfect feel of his lips under hers. “A little time, that’s all I’m asking for,” he whispered against her mouth. “Time for me to show you how good slow can be. Say yes to me, Ava.”
Her throat burned, suddenly, the sweetest sort of ache. She remembered his words from all those years and years ago.
...someday you’re gonna say yes to me, Ava...
And she realized she wanted that, longed for that, to say yes to him finally, this holiday season. And if he wanted to take his time about it, well, that sounded kind of beautiful, too. “All right then, Dare. Yes. We’ll do this your way.”
* * *
She stayed until after midnight.
They made popcorn and streamed a movie. There were more kisses. Lots of them. But finally, she said she had to go.
And then as soon as she got in her Suburban and headed for town, she wished she could turn the car around and spend the rest of the night with him. But she didn’t. She resisted temptation and went on home.
The next morning, she woke up with a goofy grin on her face. Really, who knew that not having sex with Dare could turn out to be so much fun?
She stretched and yawned and went to the window to peek through the blinds. The snow had stopped. The sky was gunmetal gray—and she’d better get moving. She had to pick up Sylvie at Annabelle’s at nine.
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