“I believe it.” I took a deep breath. “It’s nice to meet you, Thatcher.”
“You as well.” He allowed Alex to steer him away toward Dawn and Garrett, who stood near the remains of the cake.
“Thatcher?” Noella grinned as she leaned close to me. “What a name, huh?”
“Oh, don’t talk to me about names.” I groaned. “Yesterday Jake and I debated for two hours over the merits of a genderless name. We have no clue what this little bundle is going to be called.”
“That’s alright, some people wait until a few days or even weeks after the baby is born to name them.” Noella shrugged. “You two have plenty of time.”
“Do we?” I met her eyes. “I know that I still have a few weeks left but the reality is I could have this baby at any time. What if it’s not safe for me to drive to Blu’s wedding?”
“Driving should be fine as long as you take your time and get plenty of rest. Unfortunately, there’s no way to predict when this baby is going to come. They do things on their own timetable, and if she’s anything like you, she’s going to be very strong-willed.”
“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes and laughed.
“Listen, if you’re worried about it, talk to your doctor. She’s not going to let you do anything to put the baby at risk.”
“But that’s the thing, Noella. Of course I don’t want to put the baby in danger, but I also don’t want to miss Blu’s wedding. What if the doctor says something I don’t want to hear?”
“No matter what, you’re not going to miss the wedding. If we have to video chat through the whole thing, we will.” Noella gave my belly a light pat. “But I bet this little one is willing to cooperate. She knows how important this is to Mama.”
“How are the two most beautiful sisters in the world doing over here?” Jake offered a warm smile as he walked over to us.
“Flattery will get you everywhere, Jake.” Noella grinned. “But don’t worry, I already can’t wait to babysit.”
“You will be the first one we call—when she’s twelve.” I laughed.
“Twelve? No date night until she’s twelve?” Jake rubbed his chin. “That seems a little extreme.”
“Maybe just a little.” I winked at Noella. “Right now, I just wish there was a way to be sure that I’ll make it to Blu’s wedding. I just keep worrying about my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I’m so close to my due date, of course she’s going to say no.”
Noella shook her head. “Listen, it isn’t a problem yet, is it? You haven’t even been to the doctor. Don’t try to predict what she’ll say and get upset over it. You can’t know the future, no matter how good your instincts are. Just keep it positive and stay focused on the journey you’re on.”
“Thanks, Noella, that’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
“Me too.” Jake wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
“It’s going to be wonderful.” She gave my hand a tight squeeze. “Just take one breath at a time, alright?”
“I think I can handle that.” I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the heartburn that welled up.
No, even breathing wasn’t easy at the moment.
Chapter 4
I woke up the next morning with thoughts of my daughter playing through my mind.
Would she be adventurous? Would she be creative? Or musical?
I hoped she would have Jake’s eyes and his patience.
There was so much mystery to the tiny being in my belly, and yet finally I had a sense of excitement about her arrival. I would have been just as happy with a boy—it was just a matter of being able to picture my child as a person, not just an idea, that made all the difference.
“Morning.” Jake smiled as he curled close to me and trailed his hand across my rounded stomach. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay.” I rested my hand on top of his. “And you?”
“I’m looking forward to our appointment today. Each one gets us closer to meeting our girl. Penelope?”
“Penny? No.” I scrunched up my nose. “Sorry.”
“Anna?” He brushed my hair back from my neck and placed a small kiss on the curve of it.
“She’ll be one of many in her school.” I sighed as his caress relaxed me.
“We do have to come up with something, you know. We can’t just call her baby girl forever.” He wrapped his arms around me.
“I know, but it can’t just be anything, Jake. This is our daughter. She’s going to have this name for the rest of her life. We can’t just pluck it out of thin air. I think it needs to have meaning, don’t you? Maybe a relative’s name?”
“I agree with its having meaning, but honestly I don’t like the idea of naming her after a relative. I feel like it puts pressure on a kid to have a namesake. She deserves a name all her own, don’t you think?”
“I agree.” I smiled. “I love the way you think. Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out. I just hope the doctor gives me the all-clear for going to Blu’s wedding.”
“I’m sure she will. I mean, we still have time left before the due date.”
“Not much.” I heaved myself up out of bed. “But I’m telling you right now, Jake, no matter what she says, I’m going to that wedding.”
“Wait a minute.” He followed me toward the bathroom. “If the doctor thinks it’s best for you to stay put, then we’re staying put.”
“Keep thinking that.” I flashed him a smile then closed the bathroom door.
I could feel his disapproval through the wood. I knew Jake took anything the doctor said very seriously. But I also knew that nothing would keep me from Blu’s wedding.
When I stepped back out, he still stood there with one eyebrow raised.
“It’s important that you listen to the doctor’s advice.”
“Relax, Jake, we don’t even know what the doctor will say. Like Noella said, it isn’t a problem until it’s a problem, right?” I patted his cheek then focused on getting dressed.
I knew Jake’s heart was in the right place and deep down I was sure that he knew I would never do anything to put our baby in danger, but the thought of missing Blu’s wedding was just too much for me to endure. What was the worst that could happen?
An hour later I sat across from my doctor and listened to her recite the worst things that could happen.
“If you’re out of state and go into labor, obviously, I won’t be able to attend the birth. It’s always best to have the doctor that knows your history there in case any issues arise. However, Hanna, you’re not high-risk. You’ve done a fantastic job of staying healthy throughout your pregnancy. You show no signs of early labor, and to be honest, most women tend to go past their due dates with their first babies. That’s not always the case, but it is common.”
“So you’re saying I don’t have much to worry about? I can go to the wedding?” I met her eyes eagerly.
“I do have to caution you that were you to go into labor early, there is always a risk of complications. This isn’t a perfect science. Due dates are only an estimate. Sometimes a baby comes a week or two early and is just fine, sometimes a baby comes a week or two early and her lungs aren’t fully developed and she may need to stay in the hospital for some time. But based on the last ultrasound, your baby is progressing right on target. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that if you were to go into early labor here or in New York, the risks would be the same. However, I don’t see any signs of your going into early labor. You are past the point that we would try to delay labor unless another issue presented itself. Nature is nature; we can take all the precautions in the world, we can read through all the studies, but in the end, the body will do what it’s going to do. So as long as you feel comfortable traveling, I see no reason for you not to. I would avoid air travel at this point, but traveling by car should be fine. Make sure you take plenty of breaks—get out and stretch. Back pain can be a big issue toward the end of pregnancy, so for the sake of your own comfort, do your best to stretch.”
&n
bsp; “That’s wonderful news. Did you hear that, Hanna?” Jake clutched my hand and seemed as happy as I felt inside.
“Yes, absolutely.”
Although I was thrilled that I could attend the wedding, the entire conversation had left me in a daze. There was always the chance that I could have the baby early. Was I really ready? Jake had the crib set up in our room, but we hadn’t decided on diapers and she didn’t even have a name.
“What should we name her?” The question popped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
Dr. Miles looked at me with wide eyes for a moment, then laughed. “I hear Miles is gaining popularity as a girl’s name. What do you think?”
“No way.” Jake laughed. “We’ve already been through the gender neutral debate.”
“I’m sorry.” I blushed. “That was a silly question.”
“No, it’s not at all. It’s normal to be anxious in the last few weeks of your pregnancy. Lots of parents feel stressed and pressured. My best advice to you is this...your little girl is not going to care what her name is, or whether you have everything perfectly prepared. All she’s going to want is love and lots to eat. You could have your house crammed full of everything you see in baby magazines, but you still won’t really be prepared. Your daughter and the two of you are going to have to get to know each other—learn to communicate—and you’ll figure things out as you go. The best advice I can give you is to not get caught up in the small details and instead be as relaxed and confident as you can be.”
“Relaxed and confident?” I stared at her as if she had two heads.
“Foreign words at this point, I know, but do what you can—massages, naps, whatever helps you to feel calm.” She looked between the two of us. “That applies to both of you. This is a big moment and I know you are both more than capable of handling it.”
As we left the doctor’s office, I did feel better, but I certainly didn’t feel relaxed or confident.
Chapter 5
Over the next few days I was too swept up in the wedding plans to worry about what might happen in my own life. Blu was excited and that excitement extended through our web of friends.
By the time I had everything packed for the trip, I was so geared up that I’d hardly been able to sleep.
“Hanna, what are you doing?” Jake watched as I paced back and forth from the dresser to our suitcases.
“I just need to make sure we have everything.”
“Did you grab the baby bag?”
I froze at the question. It hadn’t even occurred to me that we would need to take the baby bag.
“You’re right, you’re absolutely right. Of course we need that. How could I forget?”
I grabbed the bag from beneath the bedside table. I’d put it there months before, packed with all the essentials I’d need at the hospital. As I did, I fought back tears.
“Hanna, what’s wrong?” Jake climbed out of bed and walked over to me.
“How could I forget, Jake?” I tried to keep it together, but tears began to spill down my cheeks. “What kind of mother forgets the baby bag?”
“Hanna.” He rubbed his hands along my shoulders. “You’re just excited about the wedding. It’s not like we’re going to need it while we’re gone, I just think it wouldn’t hurt to have it.”
“Because you’re a good father—you’re already a good father.” I wiped at my eyes. “I should have thought of it.”
“Babe.” He kissed my cheek, then looked into my eyes. “This is just the hormones. Remember what the book said about that? In the last few weeks your emotions crank into overdrive, right?”
“So now I’m just crazy?” I frowned. “Jake, I almost drove to New York without the baby bag!”
“Hanna, you’re excited about the wedding. You’re supposed to be excited about the wedding. Just because you’re a mother, that doesn’t mean you stop being who you are. There are going to be moments when you forget things, when I forget things—I mean, I just hope we don’t ever forget the kid somewhere—”
“Jake! That would be horrible!”
“But it happens.” He wrapped his arms around me. “My mother left me at the mall when I was three. She loaded all the bags into the trunk and thought she had already put me in my seat, but I’d actually wandered off behind another car. She realized it before she turned out of the parking lot. I didn’t even notice she was gone. I don’t even remember it happening. But she told me the story plenty of times.”
“But you could have been killed or stolen. How can you not see how bad that is?”
“I see it, she saw it, she felt terrible. But it was a mistake. It didn’t mean my mother didn’t love me, it didn’t mean that she forgot me, it was just a mistake. If you put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect, you’re going to miss out on the best part of being a parent—the playfulness, the laughter—all that stuff. What are you doing?”
I glanced up from my phone.
“I’m looking for some kind of alarm collar that will go off if I’m more than a foot away from the baby.” I continued my search.
“Hanna! We’re not putting a collar on the baby.”
“Sure, Jake, whatever you say—don’t forget the baby bag!” I continued my hunt as I headed to the car. It surprised me to discover just how many kid trackers were available. “Oh, good grief, Jake! We haven’t baby-proofed the house!”
“When the baby is born, she won’t be able to do much, will she?” He glanced at me as he loaded the bags into the trunk.
“I don’t think so. But what if she’s a genius and walks at like two weeks?”
“Okay, give me that.” He snatched the phone from my hand, then opened the car door for me. “This week is about Blu’s wedding. No more baby talk.”
“We should at least talk about names—”
“No.” He buckled himself in, then looked over at me. “Hanna, you need a break from all this. After the wedding, I promise I’ll baby-proof the house, I’ll spend all night looking at names, I’ll even make sure we get one of those video baby monitors that we can move around the house. But this week, I want you to have fun with your friends. Got it?”
“Sure.” I forced a smile.
It was sweet of him to encourage me to have fun, but clearly he had no idea what he’d gotten himself into.
Chapter 6
I started out the drive determined to focus on the wedding as Jake had suggested. After only about an hour in, however, there was only one thing I could focus on.
“Jake, we’re going to have to stop.” I closed my eyes and tried not to think about how badly I had to use the restroom.
“Are you hungry? Sick?” He glanced over at me.
“Jake, please, just find somewhere to stop. Fast!” I attempted to cross my legs and wiggled in my seat.
“Oh!” He grinned as he took the next exit. “You should have told me you had to go earlier.”
“I didn’t have to go earlier. I have to go now because your daughter is kicking my bladder! Oh my!” I grabbed my stomach as a flurry of kicks made me certain I would burst. “Jake, pull over!”
“We’re almost to the gas station.” His grin faded as he looked over at me again.
“I’m not going to make it!” I gripped the door handle, tempted to jump out while the car was in motion.
“Hanna!” He veered off into the parking lot of a small shop instead of heading a few more minutes down the road to the gas station.
“I’ll be back!” I climbed out of the car as my bladder was kicked again. “That is not a soccer ball, young lady!” I gasped as I hurried into the shop.
“Can I help you?” An older man with wire-rim glasses and the longest nose I’d ever seen eyed me.
“A bathroom, please, where’s the bathroom?” I danced from one foot to the other.
“I’m sorry, we don’t have a public restroom.”
“Please, I’ll buy anything, just please let me use the bathroom.”
“As I said, it’s not for custom
ers.”
Jake pushed his way through the door, assessed the situation, and pulled out his wallet.
“How much is it going to take for her to use the bathroom?”
“As I said already, it is not a public restroom!” He huffed.
“Listen, pal, if you don’t let me use the toilet, this floor is going to become a public restroom!” I squeaked out my words as my bladder threatened to burst.
“Don’t do that! I just mopped!” He sighed and pointed to a hallway. “First door on the left.”
I ran for the door, threw it open, and found a tiny toilet so low to the floor that I didn’t think it could possibly be designed for adults. Without hesitation, I dropped down on it and let loose.
As I reveled in the pure pleasure of what used to be a common, unimportant part of my day, I wondered if there would ever be a time when I felt like I had control of my body again. I took a moment to look in the mirror and noticed how sweaty and pale I looked.
How could Jake look at me and tell me I was beautiful? I sighed and splashed a little water on my face. It would be a long trip to New York if I had to stop and use the facilities every hour or so. Was Jake regretting his decision to drive me?
When I stepped back out into the main area of the shop, I recalled the threat I’d made to the shop owner and blushed when he looked in my direction.
“Thank you, sir.”
“The bathroom is not zoned for public use. I’m sure you may have noticed that it might not be up to standards.” He pushed his glasses up, then eyed my stomach. “I guess in your state, you couldn’t wait.”
“Yes.” I laughed, then looked over at Jake, who had his nose in the magazine rack. I had promised that I’d buy something from the shop so I began to look around. I had a gift idea in mind for Blu and AJ but I wasn’t sure that it was enough. I wanted something very special to give her, and so far I hadn’t been satisfied with any of my ideas.
“What do you think of this, Jake?” I picked up an intricately decorated jewelry box. “Maybe something they could treasure?”
Then Comes Marriage Page 2