Connor. Luke had asked about his brother. God, if Connor hadn't made it out, it would destroy Luke. Not only were the two brothers impossible to tell apart, they thought like one man. The two were an enigma to Sadi, their bond something she could never understand.
She had heard the stories of people who had lost their twin. That their life became groundless, unmoored. That the survivor always felt the empty spot where the other half of them had been.
Luke looked disappointed although he tried his best to hide it. Sadi suddenly glanced down at his wrist.
“Where's your watch?” It was the only way she could tell the two brothers apart. It had become a standing joke between them that if he ever took it off Sadi might accidentally pick the wrong brother. She had bought Luke a watch for their one month dating anniversary. It had been silly and inexpensive, but he had treasured it regardless and worn it ever since.
Sadi had been surprised when she moved into Luke’s house to find a whole dresser drawer full of other, more expensive watches. Some of them were worth well over ten thousand dollars, yet Luke always wore the cheap watch Sadi had given him. She remembered how she had flushed when she thought about it, how her chest had ached with the knowledge that Luke loved her.
“I lost it in the building,” Luke said. He glanced up at Sadi, eyes shining with uncertainty. “I asked one of the nurses about Connor. She did the best she could to find out what happened to him. All I know is that he hasn't been brought to the hospital yet.”
Chapter 3
Sadi heard the catch in Luke's voice. She could feel his dwindling hope and feel his pain like an aching hole in her own heart. She reached out and grasped Luke's hand firmly between her own. She stared down at the tip of the IV which protruded from his skin.
She wanted to say something, anything that would make this better for Luke. Something that would take away his uncertainty and give him back the brother whom he loved more than his own life. Sadi longed to do something, but no actions, no words could bring solace or peace until Connor was found.
Sadi could only dare to hope that he was alive. She had no idea what Luke's future would hold if he were forced to go through life knowing that he had survived the blast and his brother had not.
The next few days at the hospital were full of doctors and nurses checking in on Luke. They ran tests. Sometimes he was taken from the room but always returned a short while later. Sadi found that she was reluctant to let Luke out of her sight. The thought of him leaving and not coming back set off a thousand panicked alarms inside her skull.
The worst part was when the cops came to question Luke. There had been at least six different members of the police service in Luke’s room over the last three days. They seemed to ask him all the same questions. Did he know who would want to hurt him or his brother? Did he have any enemies? (Wasn’t that the same question?) What had he been doing the morning of and leading up to the bombing? Where was he when he heard the blast? What happened after?
Luke did his best to answer the questions but Sadi could see how worn out he was and how awful the experience had been for him. She could see the muscles in his jaw clench every time a new cop or a different detective entered the room.
She could see the vein stand out on the top of his forehead, near his hairline. She was surprised that she noticed that, as she had never seemed to before. Luke was exhausted after the questioning. He only ever asked one question of his own. Had they found Connor?
Four days after the bombing, Luke’s lawyer entered the room. He carried an immaculate black briefcase with him. Dressed all in black, shoes shined and gleaming, black trench coat barely clearing the white tiled floor, he looked like the harbinger of death.
Sadi looked at Edward Greeson’s face and instinctively knew who he was. He could have been there on the company’s behalf but Sadi knew that he wasn’t. He wouldn’t have bothered Luke with those details until he was well and out of the hospital. No, this was much, much worse.
Edward Greeson cleared his throat. The man was in his fifties and probably smoked a pack a day. The sound was like glass in a blender.
Sadi flinched. She crossed the room and went to stand beside Luke. She placed a steadying hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, his smoky blue eyes meeting her own dark ones. She could see the puzzled look on his face. Oh god, Luke had no idea what Greeson was here to tell him. Sadi pressed her hand a little harder onto Luke’s shoulder.
“Mr. Pearson, I wanted to be the one to tell you, as I’ve known you for years. Your brother Connor… it seems he hasn’t been found.”
“What do you mean he hasn’t been found? Surely they would have had to find… something.” Luke all but exploded out of the bed. His voice held the shrill tone of panic, of rage, of the horrible impotence of being able to do nothing at all. Buried underneath it all was the horrible twinge of guilt. Guilt at being the one who had survived.
“I’m sorry Mr. Pearson, that is all I know. The body of your brother has not been found. Yet… I was advised that sometimes there is nothing left… that the blast obliterates everything.” Greeson cleared his throat again. He looked distinctly uncomfortable, standing there, briefcase in hand facing the young man who had just lost everything.
“If they haven’t found a body then there’s still hope,” Luke whispered. “Neither of us were in my office that day. We had a meeting across the building, a couple floors below the blast. Connor was running late and he hadn’t made it yet. We were waiting for him when everything… when everything fell apart.”
Greeson nodded. Sadi could tell that he didn’t want to give Luke false hope. She thought Greeson knew that Connor was dead, even if he didn’t come out and say the exact words.
“Even so Mr. Pearson, there is the matter of the business to take care of. Given the extreme circumstances, I think it best we take care of it right away before yourself, or your company, is left vulnerable.”
The man’s tone infuriated Sadi. She could tell that Luke was just a paycheck to him, and that this visit was nothing more than the thousand dollars an hour he could charge for his services. The man probably took pleasure in the fact that since Connor was missing and probably assumed dead, that Luke was going to need a whole pile of those services in question.
“I’m going to get a drink,” Sadi said. She thought if she stayed in the room another minute she was going to be sick. “Are you sure you’re up to doing this now?” Sadi asked, bending down to look Luke in the face. “I could take you with me.”
Luke shook his head. He steeled his face into a mask of impenetrability. “No, he’s right. I probably shouldn’t wait.” Luke’s eyes betrayed the fact that he wished Sadi would stay with him but she just couldn’t. She needed to be out of that stifling room, away from the horrible dead eyes of Mr. Greeson. Away from the terrible grief that she knew was tearing Luke apart from the inside, though his face remained stoic.
“I’ll be back in an hour,” Sadi said. “That should give you enough time.” She looked pointedly at Greeson. The man nodded.
“Of course,” he replied. “An hour now will get us started.”
Sadi gave Luke a quick kiss. She felt the tremble in his lips when they met hers. She squeezed his hand one more time, then walked out of the room. She needed to get outside, to breathe in some fresh air. She wanted to pretend that she was anywhere but here and that this was some bad dream, that it wasn’t real, that it wasn’t happening to her and Luke.
Sadi was relieved to see Luke's smile as they walked through the front door of their home. She set her purse on the hall bench and took a deep breath. It had been a long two weeks.
She was surprised to find that she dreaded going home after Luke had finally been discharged from the hospital. The hospital room seemed so safe and sheltered. In there they could almost pretend that what had happened hadn't happened at all. They could almost go on as if their lives were normal.
Except that their lives were anything but. It had been almost twenty one days
since the bombing and Connor still hadn't been found. No body. Nothing.
Luke had met so many times with his lawyer that Sadi had lost count. Then there were more police coming for statements. More questions. Luke could provide no answers that he hadn’t given before. Some of the staff at Pearson and Pearson had been injured in the blast but thankfully no one had died. Just Connor....
It seemed unthinkable to Sadi that Luke's twin was gone. Greeson had convinced Luke to proceed as if Connor was never coming back. He had even planted the idea about arranging a funeral for his brother. It seemed very sudden to Sadi; just one more tragedy for Luke to endure.
At the mention of a funeral, Sadi had thought about Luke's parents. She had actually never met them. Luke didn't even know where they were. He hadn't spoken with them in years.
Did they even know what had happened? Sadi had begged Luke to try and contact them, but he flat out refused. She chalked it up to grief. The Luke she knew would never refuse his own parents the right to come to their son’s funeral no matter what he thought about them; or at least Sadi had thought so.
She supposed she may have underestimated the depth of Luke’s hurt and bitterness where his parents were concerned. On the other hand, Sadi knew that Luke believed the funeral to be a farce. He would never give up hope of Connor being found. His unwavering faith that Connor was alive had made Sadi's heart ache.
They had delayed their wedding, which was only right in light of the circumstances. Sadi knew that their impending nuptials were the last thing on Luke's mind. Luke hadn't even been interested in the details she had mentioned.
He seemed completely spaced out, as if he had never heard a single word about the planning she had spent hours going over with him before their world had shattered. She didn't mind. She hadn't been thinking much about it herself.
Sadi had vowed she would change if Luke lived, and she had. She had been by his side in the hospital, offering her nearness as a buffer against the storm of life and Luke had clung to her like a drowning man.
She had felt an affinity with Luke that she hadn’t felt before, even at the start. It was like the horrible events had drawn them closer than ever before. Luke looked at Sadi differently, like he was seeing her for the first time. Like she was the only thing that mattered to him. Like if he looked away, he would lose her.
Luke was looking at Sadi like that now. He took a step closer to Sadi, his grey blue eyes clouded with desire. The smouldering look he sent her took her breath away. Sadi stood rooted to the spot. Luke took another step and another until he was mere inches from her. He reached out a hand and gently stroked her cheek.
“You're so beautiful,” he whispered, voice husky.
Sadi felt his words to the bottom of her stomach. His touch sent a wave of tingling sensation right to her core. Luke bent his head and kissed Sadi.
Her lips came alive under his. Luke groaned and buried his hands in her hair. He drank her in like he had never tasted her before. It was a desperate kiss. One that was deep and full and passionate. Luke had always been a more passive kisser, more tender in his touch, and the force of his lips, the desperation in his touch, took Sadi by surprise. She pulled away in shock, raising a trembling finger to lips that still tingled with sensation.
“What's wrong?” Luke asked, confusion and hurt mingling on his face.
“I.... I just.... can't remember you ever kissing me like that before. I was surprised.” Sadi studied Luke's face looking for some sign, some signal, that something was amiss, but she found nothing. No guile. Just unguarded affection. Sadi saw the fire burning in his eyes. His eyes roamed hungrily over her body. Sadi felt her skin flush with the pleasure of being noticed. Luke hadn't looked at her like that in months.
Luke gripped Sadi’s hand, turning it over so he could run his finger over her knuckles. He looked up and met her eyes with his. She was surprised to see a sheen of moisture there. “Sadi, I.... I came so close to dying. I've lost almost everything I ever loved and cared about. Yet you're still here with me. I've been so thankful to have you with me these past few weeks. You've been my only light through this.”
Sadi smiled though she felt her throat close with tears. The bombing had been terrible. People had been hurt and Connor was gone. Their life lay in tatters, yet Luke was thankful for her. Of course she should be here. Of course she should be supportive and loving. She was Luke’s fiancé. She felt her stomach do a flip flop of guilt. Had Luke sensed that she wasn’t in love with him anymore? Had he been having second thoughts about their relationship as well?
“We can start over Sadi,” Luke said gently. “I want our life to be different. I realize now what’s really important. It’s not the business, it’s not the money, not working out, not eating so damned healthy. It’s the people. Living every single moment with them like you’re not going to get another one.”
Sadi smiled gently. She reached up and stroked Luke’s cheek. She didn’t know what to say. Simply touching Luke sent shivers racing through her fingers and down her arm.
“I know we were happy before, but I want our lives to mean something now. After everything that happened... It made me realize how short life is. I want to make the most of it, with you."
Sadi thought about all the doubts she had about marrying Luke before the bombing. They had both been so busy with everything that their relationship felt like an afterthought. None of that mattered now. If Luke wanted a fresh start, a clean slate, Sadi would do her best to give it to him. She had vowed if they got another chance, she wouldn't squander it. She would do everything in her power to find happiness, to love Luke like a wife should.
“Luke,” Sadi whispered. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened, but you’re right, it made me see things much more clearly. I want this life, with you. No matter what happens, all I need is you."
It was Sadi who took a step forward this time. She went gladly into Luke’s open arms. He held her for a long while, letting her savour the feel of him before he tilted her head up and kissed her soundly. The kiss was less desperate than the first one. Sadi didn't feel like she was being claimed. She felt treasured. Desired. Needed. It was no less searing in its intensity.
Sadi wrapped her arms around Luke's neck, moved her hands up and through his blonde hair. It was coarser than she remembered. Probably from the horrible shampoo at the hospital.
In one swift motion, Luke surprised Sadi by picking her up. He carried her to their bedroom and laid her gently on the bed. She expected him to do something else, remove her clothes, kiss her… but he just took her into his arms and held her. Sadi hung onto him as well. She could feel his pain, his stress, all his pent up emotion pouring into her.
She couldn’t remember the last time Luke held her, or let her hold him. He was just always so busy, always in such a rush. Their relationship had really lacked the intimacy Sadi hadn’t realized she craved. She took a deep breath and clung to Luke, more thankful than ever that he was still here with her. She thought that if they could just get through the next couple weeks, maybe they would have a shot at making it after all.
Sadi stood beside her husband, trying to let her presence be the support he needed. She slipped her hand into his. She didn’t miss the trembling that started in his fingers and spread to his palm. She gave a firm squeeze and the trembling stopped.
Despite Luke’s protests, they had decided to hold a memorial service for Connor. Luke hadn’t been in a hurry. Sadi thought he was trying to delay as long as possible; to give his brother the time he needed to show up. Sadi found it hard to believe that Connor was gone.
No body had been found. It just didn’t make sense. Sure it had been explained to them that the blast could have obliterated any remains, but Sadi found that hard to buy. Surely there would have been something left. They had advanced forensic science for god sakes.
Yet nothing had turned up. No remains. No Connor. If he was alive where was he? Nothing added up. Sadi could understand Luke’s hesitation to bury his brot
her, to move on with a life that seemed so incomplete, so unfinished. Greeson had convinced Luke that having a memorial ceremony was what the company and the world needed to move forward. Sadi knew Luke hadn’t moved on, but he had finally agreed.
Here they were, the grey morning sky echoing Sadi and Luke’s bleak moods. The ceremony was for close friends and acquaintances only. They had gathered outside in the park to release lanterns into the grey sky and to say a few nice words. Luke was willing to honor his brother’s memory, but he wasn’t willing to close the book on the hope that somehow, somewhere, he was still alive.
Sadi glanced at the lantern Luke had moved to light. The fragile white paper glowed yellow from the fire within. She looked around at the scattering of people there. Some she knew well, others she was surprised that she didn’t.
Sadi should have made more of an effort to get to know Connor. She felt a stab of guilt go through her chest. She found herself sending up another thought, another hope, sending her wishes that if Connor was alive, he would somehow hear her and know how sorry she was. She wished that Connor understood how much Luke still needed him.
Sadi saw Luke look up into the cloudy sky, taking in the lanterns that were floating away, into the wind and impending rain. She stepped forward and placed a hand on his back. He surprised her by wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight.
“Let’s go home Luke,” Sadi whispered. She saw herself reflected in his eyes as he glanced down. He gave her a soft smile and nodded.
Chapter 4
When they were back in the safety of their own home, away from the worried eyes of their friends who were at Connor’s ceremony, Sadi noticed Luke relax slightly. His shoulders lost their horrible rigidity. He made coffee, poured himself a cup and sat down at the kitchen table. Sadi joined him, taking his hand in her own.
The Billionaire's Mistaken Match ( A BWWM Romance) Page 11