Lee Lee runs back to her room and comes back with a tub of shit. I laugh as she withdraws a sash and tiara for Breck. “Holy shit.” Breck giggles. “Are those penis straws?” She reaches for them and Saylor snorts.
“We’re all sucking dicks tonight. I can’t wait to torment Deacon with this shit.” She takes her phone and I’m sure updates her social media status. Three . . . Two . . . One . . . ring. “Hey babe.” She tries for sultry. “What? Oh really? The only dick I’m sucking is yours? I’m afraid you’re mistaken. The one I have in my hand, caressing the pink shaft and leading it to my lips says otherwise.” She hangs up and I fall to the bed in laughter.
In unison, Emberlee and Brecklynn’s phones ring and I look at Saylor to see her smirk. It hits me in the chest like a freight train— my phone doesn’t ring with someone going caveman on my ass. I can hear the one-sided conversations and I grab Brecklynn’s phone to intervene so the asses don’t crash our party. “It’s Aves. Don’t get the next flight – Lee Lee brought penis straws. I know it’s close to the same thing for Breck with the straw adding a few inches but relax. She isn’t trading you in for someone who is at least average. Love you. Bye.” I end her call and raise my eyebrows at Lee Lee to do the same.
Those guys will play telephone and get it handled. “Come on. I’m hungry.”
“Oh, here’s Tootsies. I want to go there.” Brecklynn claps and you can’t help but get drawn into the atmosphere in downtown. It’s electric— amazing music, a diverse population of people, all wearing smiles and enjoying the night.
“Let’s go.” I laugh at the tiara and sash Emberlee insisted she wear. It’s gonna be a magnet to every douchecanoe in the vicinity. It’s wall-to-wall bodies and you have to turn sideways to get through the crowd but I get us to the bar. Saylor is staring at anyone and Emberlee is flirting with everyone. She’s so in love with Brody but has to convince herself she’s still got it. It’s all harmless so I know I’ll have some entertainment. Resigning to the fact I’ll be having a liquid dinner, I’m thankful I stuffed my face with Oreo’s.
One drink.
Two drinks.
Three drinks deep and we’re feeling it. Somehow we’ve planted our asses in the space directly in front of the bar and this bartender isn’t skimping with pouring vodka. “I need a cigarette.” I announce.
Saylor fumbles in her purse and pushes a stick of gum in my hand. “Here.”
I stare at the piece of gum, replay what I verbalized and look to her. Biting my lip I try to tone down my attitude but Alcohol Avery has come to play. “Uh, Shortstop, where in the hell did you translate what I said into handing me this? I’m going outside for a smoke and no amount of Doublemint and your snooty looks is gonna change that. Hold my drink and don’t let anyone roofie it.” I turn and make my way through the crowd to go outside and smoke.
I people watch, listen to the music flowing down the street and enjoy my fix-it-all stick. Fuck . . . I was supposed to be done today at noon. I look to the five left in the pack and inhale my last drag. Walking to a guy a few feet in front of me, I smile, hand him my cigarettes and go back inside . . . to get a piece of fucking gum.
Five or six guys surround my friends and everyone is laughing but they’re a bit too close for comfort. Slipping in next to Saylor I dig in her purse for gum and ignore her knowing smirk. “Shut it.”
“Who do we have here?” Rico Suave with gray hair sidles up to me. Lee Lee’s eyes widen and Breck gasps. I’m friendly. I’m nice. I’m just particular regarding my fucking personal space and grandpa here is crossing boundaries as he brushes against me.
“Nobody.” I don’t try to give off the air of friendliness. But dipshit takes it as a challenge and steps closer. If that’s possible.
“Uh,” Saylor tries to intervene but is ignored. Motherfucker takes his hand and runs it up my back, reaches my neck and fists a handful of hair in his hand.
“Wild. I love it.” He tugs and I snap.
“Get your hands off me.” My tone low but lethal.
He chuckles. Fucking giggles like a bitch. “What do you do for a living? Your friends said you were a porn star.” I’m gonna kill them— after I get McFuckstick’s hands off me. Fucking Brecklynn has taken her phone and is recording this. Good, I may need evidence for a self-defense case. I’m gonna catch a charge but I’m making it worthwhile.
“I’m a contract killer. Right now, I’m thinking I’m gonna take one for mankind and work without a contract. Get your fucking hands off me.” I take the heel of my shoe, dig it into his calf and yank my leg up— catching him in the balls with my knee and removing a layer of skin with my boot.
His friends grab him and apologize but I’m done. I slam my drink and look to the Three Stooges. “Drink. Time to find another place to play.” We leave through the back door and end up in an alley but it isn’t unsafe. All the bars down this street empty here.
“That was epic.” Brecklynn is high on love.
“Holy shit, Aves. My little bad ass.” I’m sure that heifer is the one who gave him my occupation.
“Did you tell him I was friends with Jenna Jameson, too?” I bite. I’m trying hard to be mad but it’s too damn funny. Or it’s the vodka. Either way, that was fun and I feel carefree.
Definitely the vodka.
“Deacon, the vodka is flowing, Aves just kicked some guy’s ass and I think we are gonna end up needing bail money.” I take the phone from Saylor and hear Deacon’s string of curses.
“Stop, DD. We aren’t getting arrested,” yet, I add in my head, “but she’s correct in the vodka flowing. I promise we’re being safe and having fun.” I calm him down with the finesse I’ve learned my entire life and hand the phone back to Saylor.
“That girl is gonna kill him one day.” I laugh to Lee Lee.
“Where are we going?” Brecklynn asks and pulls a flask from her purse.
“Coyote Ugly.” Saylor begs, in a volume way too loud for the close proximity we’re sharing.
“This way, Shortstop.” I tug her hand and we walk the short way to the famous bar and my favorite movie. What provokes me to start ordering doubles, I haven’t a clue. It may have been watching the little guy drinking Pabst beer and who was adorable in his glasses and hipster look. His friends decided to treat him and as the gorgeous bartender ripped his boxers, wrote dirty messages across his stomach with lipstick, bent his head back to pour alcohol down his throat, and did a body shot— it all got me hyped up. I was shouting, dancing, drinking and my girls and I had a blast.
We stumble to another bar— me sans bra— and finish the night with another drink. “I’m drunk.” I broadcast to no one in particular.
“Not too drunk if you can speak without slurring.” A sexy baritone breathes in my ear. I spin and am damn near knocked on my ass by his beauty. Blond, blue eyes, tan— All American hunk. “Can I buy you a drink?” Shit, I’m not dead. This guy is hot as hell.
I scan to check where the rest of my crew is and I can see we are going down fast. “No thanks.” I decide to forego the last half of my drink and we damn near crawl outside. In the fresh air, the alcohol hits me and I’m scared for the first time tonight. I try to work my phone and get us an Uber but can’t see the screen through the blurring. Emberlee has popped a squat by the curb, Brecklynn is spinning in circles and Saylor is leaning against the wall next to me. “Shit.” I mutter.
Two police officers appear in front of us and this pipes Saylor up. “Oh, I don’t have any singles.” She runs her finger down one’s chest and I know her predication from earlier is coming true— we’re going to the clink clink. The pokey. Lock up.
“I’m so sorry.” I say— in my mind— because what spews from my mouth isn’t that. Judging by the look the cop shoots me I made no sense.
“Here’s a cab.” He guides us to a van of some sorts. I check to make sure there aren’t any signs offering free candy before I crawl in.
“Wait, we have those two idiots as well.” Mr. Nice Officer helps Lee
Lee and Brecklynn into the backseat and nine minutes later we’re in our bed, room spinning, taking turns puking.
Chapter Ten
“God, I love that girl. Fearless.” Mason laughs while staring at his phone. We just finished dinner and I have one stop to make before dropping them at the hotel and heading home.
“What did Breck do?” Deacon laughs.
“Oh, it’s Aves.” He shoves the phone in my face and Deacon angles his body so he can watch. Some slimy fucker puts his hands in my girl’s hair and I see red.
“Where the fuck are they?” I grunt.
“Wait for it.” Mason blows me off.
“Savage.” Deacon utters in wonderment as Avery took the fucker down.
“Where are they?” I repeat.
“A bar. We can’t go.” Mason sits back and folds his arms.
“Like hell we can’t.” I glare at him.
Deacon’s phone rings and I can hear Saylor shouting through the phone. His curses follow but stop. I freeze when I hear her voice. Straining to make out the words— but catching her voice is enough. It calms me. It reminds me what we’re here for.
Deacon ends and chuckles. “They’re good. Let’s go home.”
“I know they’re good. The five thousand dollar bodyguard I have watching them is making sure of it.” Mason gloats. God, I love my friends.
“We have one stop first.” Both grumble but go along with me.
“You don’t think this is overkill?” Deacon questions for the ninth time.
“Nope.” I answer the same way each time.
“You’re fixing to start med school and she’s gonna have a business to start up. I think you’re biting off more than you can chew.” He is like fifty in a twenty-three year old’s body.
“Shut it, blowhard. Did you see the white one? I think it’s perfect for Julie. I may look into the reddish one for Breck.” The saying a kid in a candy store— that's Mason in a pet store. He wants them all and has picked an owner for each dog.
“No. Fuck no.” Deacon threatens him.
“We’ll see.” Which in Mason code means Deacon better prepare for a puppy.
“Shit.” Deacon acknowledges he’s fucked. Without lube. He may as well start stocking up on puppy supplies.
“What are you naming him?” Mason cuddles the chocolate lab I just bought for Avery.
“Seems how it isn’t my dog I’m not naming him.” I state the obvious.
“How about D.O.G.— if you say it like a name it sounds like diogey.” He ruffles the pup’s head.
“Did you hear me?” Sometimes I wonder if he makes up shit in his head to suit his purpose.
“Yep. Hey Diogey. Hey pretty boy.” He’s a complete idiot.
“Stop calling her dog by a name.” I snap.
“Well what do you want me to call him?” I don’t know why I enter into conversations with him.
“Nothing. Just hold the fucking puppy until we get home.” He’s a toddler.
“I can’t go all night calling it nothing.” He huffs.
“You may not make it alive through the night so no worries there.” I quip and he shuts up.
“If you don’t get Julie a dog, I’ll let you name it Diogey.” Deacon supplies from the back.
“Okay. Deal. You’re a true friend.” Mason puffs his chest for a second and I watch it deflate when realization hits. “That was fucked up, DD.” We both chuckle as Mason pouts.
“You can give Julie this dog if Avery tells me to fuck off.” That thought makes me cagey.
“Not a fucking option.” Mason enunciates. “Hey, pull into this store.” I oblige him and stop at the convenience store. He runs in and returns with a bag full of lollipops. I chuckle to myself.
“What the fuck?” Deacon leans to look over the seat.
“I can’t get her a dog. I figure I can pump her full of sugar, she’ll behave like a wild beast and my mom gets off my ass wanting Breck and me to reproduce. We aren’t ready for that.” He thinks he’s figured out trade secrets.
“There’s a fatal flaw in your plan, asshole. My parents will give her to me for the night and we’re sharing a room. Fucknut.” Deacon groans.
“I have a credit card that works. I can get my own room. Can she have a puppy now?” Mason smirks.
“Fuck you.” DD throws his head against the seat and ignores us the rest of the way to the hotel.
I walk in the lobby to have a beer while the kids are with the grandparents. “You ready for this?” Deacon asks as he takes a drink.
“Yeah. It’s been hell sitting here waiting knowing she was hurting. It’s taking everything I have to wait until tomorrow.”
“It’ll be worth it. My plan is epic.” Mason boasts.
They don’t have a clue— only the girls know the grand gesture of the plan. “Wait until you see what I’ve done. I think I set the bar and you’ll recognize it when you see what I’ve planned.” I goad him.
“We shall see.” He’s wary.
“You may have to take my man card.” I joke.
Deacon looks at me and shakes his head. “Dude, the second those women let us into their hearts— none of us kept a fucking card. They own us.”
“Word.” Mason smiles. “And it’s the best thing in the world.”
“Cheers.” I give blessing to the truth.
Chapter Eleven
“You’ve got to get up Avery. We have to leave in an hour.” Emberlee nags.
“It takes five minutes to brush my teeth and throw my hair in a bun.” I reply, closing my eyes and snuggling back into the covers. “How much did we drink last night?” It’s rhetorical . . . all of us were trashed.
“Too fucking much,” Saylor groans.
“I don’t wanna see the receipts.” Brecklynn shutters.
“Shit, did we pay?” I sit up and regret that move. My head is punishing me for sudden movements.
“Mason did.” Emberlee grins.
“Wake me up when it’s five minutes to go time.” I get comfortable and drift to sleep.
“She’s gonna regret that.” Saylor giggles.
I regret a lot. Drinking to the point of stupidity last night— okay I don’t regret that. I regret that on impulse and love I signed a contract one year ago for a perfect studio and having to give it up in a few hours. I regret wasting four years hiding my relationship from my friends. I regret dancing atop the bar of Coyote Ugly, because my favorite push up bra is now dangling from the rafters. I regret picking up smoking because I really want a cigarette and I passed my day three.
But I can promise I won’t regret this extra thirty minutes of sleep.
“You’re wearing that?” Lee Lee scoffs. I don’t know who the fuck appointed her fashion police but I wish they’d revoke her badge.
“Yes.” I glance down at my adorable purple shirt, which proudly sports the middle finger and ‘Off You Fuck.’ Granted, my tits don’t look the best because my good bra is waving in the wind at a bar a few miles up the road, but I had a backup. My black sweat pants match and don’t have paint stains . . . though the ‘Just the Tip’ logo across my ass may raise some eyebrows. Fuck it— if any asshole says something they’ll get an earful.
That day in Prague I conceded the fact I was single. It killed me. Today, I’m giving up my dream space that I was going to open with Caden by my side while I watched him pursue his dream . . . so excuse the fuck outta me if I don’t dress to impress. And not to mention the hangover from hell I’m the proud owner of. “Give me a break, Lee Lee.” Tears fill my eyes and I’m over her judgmental bullshit. “Do you have any idea what I’m doing today? The dreams I’m saying good bye to?”
“No. I don’t. Because for four years you hid it. You made plans, celebrated with Caden,” I gasp when she utters his name. “You didn’t bother to include us in that part of your life, so excuse the fuck outta me if I don’t understand because you didn’t share.”
I don’t have a bargaining chip— she’s correct in her accusation. I didn�
�t tell them how ridiculously perfect this warehouse is. I didn’t share how I dreamed of framing some of Breck’s photos to display, how I’d wanted Emberlee to plan the grand opening, how I wanted Saylor’s input with learning how to expand and get my business in the spotlight. “Honey, what Emberlee meant is we know this is hard and we’re sorry but we are still trying to catch up.” Brecklynn hugs me.
“I’m sorry.” I look at Emberlee and see tears in her eyes— that match mine. “I suck. I know you don’t get it because you didn’t witness it. I was selfish. I was scared. And I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.”
“No, Aves. You are selfless. I can see it clearly, the reasons you kept everything from us and that’s our fault. We piled everything on you and didn’t make you share with us. I’m an ass.” Lee Lee pushes Brecklynn off me and hugs me.
“Yes. Yes, you are but it’s kinda your thing. A charming ass.” I smack her butt and giggle. Then I wipe my snot on her shirt— a little karma from her pregnancy break down.
“Did you just wipe your snot on me?” She gasps.
“Yep. We are at that level of friendship because I remember you doing it to me almost three years ago.” I push from her arms and head to the door. “Let’s do this. We don’t wanna be late.”
“I don’t have my kid and I’m still leaving the house with some kinda bodily fluid smeared across me. Fucking great.” She whines but follows us to the elevator.
“That was a cute shirt, too.” I wink.
I exit the leasing office and gulp in a breath of air. That was fucking hard. The ‘good faith’ deposit I lost doesn’t faze me— cancelling the lease was another step in releasing my relationship. This one was huge. This one was final. I left the girls exploring and I spot them at the coffee shop. Those bitches better have me an extra large, extra shot of something.
I stride to them and my body seizes. A bulletin board with flyers, business cards, a plethora of information regarding upcoming events assaults me with memories. Many with Caden and a lot with friends. There in the middle is a Lost & Found notice. It screams at me to read it. It could be the bold typeset, the words that bleed pain from the paper— or it may be the broken heart drawn in the middle.
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