by Vera Quinn
“That’s good enough for me,” I tell the table of men.
“Me too,” Slick relents but I can see he still has reservations. “Remember stay vigilant about safety. I am going to be with Callie and her friends today while they make the arrangements. Oz, you get anything, you let me know. Hacksaw, I need you to reach out to our man in the PD. I want any leads they might have gotten. Slick, I want you to make schedules for the front gate and perimeter walks. Rome, you and Bowie need to make sure the businesses are covered with management. Make sure Sal is going to help at the gym. Crockett, you make sure the strip club and bar are covered, including security walks to their cars at closing and bank deposits. I want all these coordinated so everyone gets some sleep. I will need proxy from any brother who can’t be at the next church for the vote on the new prospects.” Devil bangs his gavel letting us know this meeting is done. Most of the brothers get up and move out the door but I wait back to have a word with Devil. Rome must be doing the same thing because he stands beside Devil. I get up and make my way over to them. Devil looks at us both.
“I am going to need both of your ol’ ladies to help Callie out for the next little bit. She’s not taking this very well. None of them are,” Devil tells us. “Tara was wanting to ask if she could help with anything. I told her to wait or she would have been knocking on your door first thing when we woke up.” Rome has a smile on his face. Rome very seldom smiles, more since he has been with Tara but before then it wasn’t something we saw much of. “Tara’s pregnant. She’s going to need to see a doctor in the next week or so to be positive.”
“Tara do a home test?” Devil asks.
“Yeah, she did. We just need the positive from a doctor,” Rome tells us.
“Congratulations. Why didn’t you mention it and let everyone know?” I ask Rome. “Tara is worried about jinxing it by telling everyone too early. I don’t kn ow much about baby stuff. Tara said after the first trimester is when most people let everyone know but I wanted to tell everyone.” Rome still has a smile on his face. I don’t think it is going away anytime soon. I am happy for him.
“Don’t worry about it R ome, but brace yourself brother. The shit is just beginning. They have books that fill women’s heads with so much shit when it comes to having kids and then their hormones kick in and it being the first one it is going to get worse. The second trimester is the one you will enjoy. Callie was insatiable. I thought she was going to break my dick with Killian.” Devil laughs. “Happy for you man. Get Tara to set up an appointment and we will make sure she gets there safe.” Devil assures Rome.
“I’ll tell Joy. She’ s worried about her sister Em so it is going to be hard to keep her here but I’ll tell her Callie needs her help so maybe it will distract her.” I will tie her ass up if I need to do it to keep her safe.
“I need to be there for Callie this morning but she is not going to be happy about not being able to go to Texas for the memorial now. She hates postponing it. She thinks she owes that to Sarah. I’ll tell her what is going to happen and why. She’ll get on board with it and I know Felix and Hanna will too. Rome, talk to Joey to be sure Rye and Bourbon were right about his decision to prospect. I think he will be a big asset to us.” Devil’s phone goes off. He looks at it. “You two go on. I need to take this call, it’s Chief.” Rome and I get up and walk out together. We close the door leaving Devil to deal with his father-in-law.
I wake up in Hacksaw’s bed alone. I feel deliciously sore and my mind wanders back to last night. I had sworn off bikers but that lasted about as long as it took for Hacksaw to get my panties wet. The things we said, the pleasure that Hacksaw gave me, the feel of Hacksaw’s hard body under my hands, under my body, on top of my body, behind me, who am I kidding - in any position! Hacksaw played my body and had me screaming his name. I would and did agree to a lot of things in the heat of the moment, hours. I know that we will never work and that is probably why I am waking up in a bed by myself. I know the drill. How many times have I done this with the brothers at the BlackPath MC? I never agreed to belong to a man before but I am sure when Hacksaw woke up this morning he came to his senses and ran from the room to get some distance. Well, I am not one to stay where I am not wanted. I need to get up and shower and be prepared for when Hacksaw gets back. If he has been told he is my protection then I can see that this thing between us may go on for a little while until this lockdown is over. Then again, Hacksaw may be a one and done kind of man. He doesn’t need to worry about me trying to get attached to him. I will never be a patch whore. I don’t know if I can keep this up for very long without taking a hit to my heart when our time is up. It would be much better on me if we both just admit that we came to our senses in the light of day and walk away. One and done that is what this needs to be. I keep fighting with myself in my head, but I can’t lie to myself that a part of me wishes the things that Hacksaw said to me last night could be true. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I want out of the biker lifestyle or maybe I just want something for me. I have been so lost the last few years. I just know last night was the first night in a long time that I haven’t had a dream about babies that aren’t mine. My last thought in my head was not Adeline and Lucas and they weren’t the first thing that was on my mind this morning. That must mean I am doing something right. I just know if I let my guard down that Hacksaw will obliterate whatever sanity I have left if it doesn’t work out. I don’t know if I can take that chance. Then my mind remembers the events from earlier last night and I instantly feel guilt. Guilt for the pleasure I had felt and that Sarah will never have that again. I need to find out how I can help. I am sure there are so many things to be taken care of. I get out of bed and walk over to Hacksaw’s dresser and get a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt. I need a shower and I am not going to put dirty panties back on. While I am pushing his clothes around in the drawer I grab a pair of shorts with a drawstring. I know the shirt is going to hang to my knees and I’ll need to tighten the drawstring on the shorts all the way in but this will have to do until someone gets me some clothes. Hopefully the drawstring on the shorts will help keep the boxers up. Commando is not my thing. I’m not a shy person about my body but there will be children in the clubhouse today and I don’t want to run around looking like a damn club girl in just a t-shirt. I laugh at myself, so I’ll look like someone who can’t dress themselves, right. Maybe I can borrow something from Callie or Tara later. I head to the bathroom and get my shower out of the way. The hot water feels good on my soreness. I don’t stay in very long, not nearly long enough. I dig around in one of the drawers and find a brush and a new toothbrush. I already used the man’s razor on my legs, just a once over for good measure, and went through his drawers for clothes so what is using a couple more things going to hurt. I walk out of the hot bathroom and sit on the end of the bed to brush out my hair. Just as I am finishing I hear a tapping on the door. It can’t be one of the brothers knocking, it’s a light tap not a booming knock. I walk over to the door and open it up and Tara and Callie are standing there. I open the door wider and step back so they can come in. Tara looks like she hasn’t slept much but Callie’s eyes are swollen and red from crying. I notice Tara is carrying some clothes. She hands them over to me and I take them. I wish I knew what to say to Callie but my mind is blank.
“I’m so sorry Callie. I don’t know what to say,” I tell Callie. She smiles at me, a little anyway. I sit on the bed and Callie and Tara sit with me. “Me too. There’s really nothing to say. I noticed when you came in last night that you only had your purse. I thought you might could use some clothes.” Callie looks like she could cry at any time.
“ Thank you for the clothes, Tara. I didn’t have time to grab a bag when the prospect got there. Is there anything that I can do to help with arrangements or anything at all?” I offer.
“That’s why we are here,” Tara speaks up.
“We are only having a small memorial here at the clubhouse and then we are going to have a family meal. Coul
d you help keep an eye on the food? We are having it catered but Devil said no outsiders in the clubhouse to help with serving and making sure the food stays full until we are done. We are doing buffet but if you see anything that needs filling could you help with that?” Callie asks me.
“Of course. Is she being buried in Texas or here in Oklahoma?” I don’t say anything else but wait for Callie to go on. “What has Hacksaw told you?” I look closely at Callie. I don’t know if I should s ay anything. I know Devil shares with Callie but this time I don’t know how much. I guess Callie recognizes my struggle with the question. “Sarah is being cremated and, for now, we are only having a small memorial here. When the brothers find whoever did this and deal with them then we are going to have a memorial ceremony in Texas.” Callie looks at me closer. “I meant about the tattoo.”
“That whoever tried to grab Em sent a message about everyone that had the fourleaf clover tattoo. I’m on lockdown with Hacksaw until whoever is responsible is caught,” I answer the question but give nothing else away.
“I heard you have been claimed. That last s longer than a lockdown. I know I am new to this biker style of life, but I learned that lesson fast,” Tara informs me. I don’t want to hear this so I change the subject.
“How are Felix and Hanna?” I know they are taking this hard. “ Fe is blaming himself for not keeping better tabs on Sarah, as if that was even possible. Hanna is keeping everything to herself and sleeping. Her pregnancy hormones are kicking in. I am going to get her up in a little while and make her eat. Sometime today we are supposed to be able to go home,” Callie tells me.
“Does that mean everyone can go home because I need to get to my apartment? After everything that happened to Em in Texas and here, I just need familiar surroundings to feel grounded.” Then something dawns on me. “Callie, um, this might not be the time to bring this up but have you thought about Felix and Hanna going back to the house they shared with Sarah? Is Hanna’s baby daddy going to be here for her?”
“Fe and Hanna are coming home with me. Devil said Tara and Rome and then you and Hacksaw are staying at the other house so we can clear some room up here in the clubhouse. I think Joey and Rye are staying there also.” Callie hesitates but then goes on. “After the memorial then Fe and I can box the stuff up. Hanna isn’t saying who the father of her baby is so no baby daddy making an appearance.”
“Why don’t you let me do that for you? If you can get some boxes there I will box the bedroom up and label everything and then when you are ready you can go through it.” I see Callie is thinking about it.
“I will help,” Tara speaks up. “Yeah, I think that will be a big help. I don’t think I am up to putting Sarah’s things away yet. I know it needs to be done sometime but it just seems way too fast but I also know that Hanna will fall apart if she walks in that house and Sarah’s room is still the same.” I see tears rolling down Callie’s cheeks and I am sorry for even bringing it up.
“Callie, if it is too soon then you should wait. Only the three of you can make that decision. The four of you were so close,” Tara tells Callie. Callie wipes the tears away. “No, it needs to be done. Sarah was like a sister to me just like Hanna but I refuse to let the asshole who is doing this win. That would be an injustice to Sarah’s memory.” I am a little shocked by what Callie has said. I thought she would be lost in her pain of losing Sarah. “I’m not sure this is the right thing to do but I will do whatever I can to help Fe and Hanna to be able to go home when they can. I have been fighting myself over it. I have so many things going through my head and there is so much to be done. We will never forget Sarah and I don’t want to just lock her belongings away but I don’t want them to cause anyone more pain. Times like these I don’t think there is a right answer.” Callie stops and looks like she is trying to gather herself. My heart goes out to Callie. Sarah was so young and loved by her friends. The things Callie has been saying are a little scattered, so I look closely at her and she looks so tired and wrung out. I know I need to step up and help Callie as much as I can. Callie is family, maybe extended but still family. Em would want me to and I want to. I move closer to Callie and pull her in for a hug, trying to give her comfort.
“You don’t have to decide now. If the boxes are at the house then I will do it, if they aren’t there, then I know you decided against it. Lean on me, Callie. Whatever you need,” I tell Callie and for a minute Callie relaxes and lets me give her this little bit of comfort but then she stands up.
“Thank you and I will but right now there are things to be taken care of. It’ll just be us for the memorial.” The way Callie says it I know she is not happy about this fact because she has said it more than once. I have never seen this side of Callie. She is usually so strong but she seems almost fragile right now.
“Hacksaw said none of the BlackPath MC are coming in. Do you know why?” I ask Callie. “Not really. I am going to call my dad later this afternoon. I wanted to give him time to deal with Em’s matter before I called and I wanted to get everything done here first. We talked for a minute but it was too fast. Dad is close to all my friends so I know this is hitting too close to home and I know he’ll want to talk to me more for a little bit just so he knows I am alright. Devil told me to take care of Hanna and Fe and not worry about anything else so right now that is what I am doing. When you’re ready come on out to the common room. Gertie has a late lunch in the kitchen if you are hungry. Just soup and sandwiches but we will start dinner soon,” Callie tells me.
“Kat is here helping too,” Tara adds.
“I’m worried about Em but I know Chief will take care of her and their family,” I tell the ladies. I’m hoping he does. “ You are right, dad will protect his family to his last breath. I need to get back out to my children before Kat and Gertie spoil them rotten.” Callie’s hand is on the door but it opens and I think the three of us jump from the surprise.
“Hey ladies. Callie, Devil is looking for you ,” Hacksaw says coming into the small room. I see he has my suitcase in his hand. “Sugar, I went by your apartment and brought you some things.” Callie takes her phone out of her back pocket.
“I forgot to turn my phone on.” Callie is messing with her phone. “We were just leaving.” I hand the clothes back to Tara. “Thanks for the clothes but looks like mine have arrived. I will be out in just a little bit to help with getting dinner and whatever is needed,” I tell Callie. Hacksaw has moved around to the bed and laid my suitcase down.
“Okay. Later,” Tara says and she shuts the door as they go out. I turn and look at Hacksaw. “Sugar, my clothes have never looked so good ,” Hacksaw winks at me as he says it. “We have a few things to get straight between us and then I am going to fuck you because I have things to get done.” I raise my eyebrow at Hacksaw and cock my hip out and put my hand on it. This man did not just say these things to me.
“Oh, we definitely have some things to get straight, sugar,” I say as sarcastically as I can. This man is pissing me off. “Joy, in case you forgot , you are mine and sometimes your sassy attitude is cute sugar, but right now, I don’t have time for cute. I only have time for direct. So, I am going to talk and you are going to listen. Are we on the same page here?” Hacksaw acts like he is dealing with a child and that just makes me throw more attitude.
“Hell no, we are not on the same page. We’re not even in the same damn book. You’re over there skimming through a damn caveman for dummies and I am over here in reality, but this is where I jump over to another bookshelf. Do you get me biker boy?” Hacksaw laughs at me.
I am laughing my ass off at Joy and I can almost see the steam coming out of her ears. I don’t t know what the hell is wrong with her but I know I need to handle this better if I am going to keep this woman. “Sugar, I don’t know where you come up with this shit but I don’t have time for it today. We went over this last night, you are mine and I am going to be taking care of some club security for the next few days and I will not be around as much. I went and
picked up some of your things but don’t unpack here. Later I will be back and take you over to Devil’s old house. I thought this would make you happy having some of your own clothes.”
“Why should I be happy that you went through my things and who said you could go in my apartment?” Joy is getting louder as she talks. “It was either me or one of the prospects and I don’t think you would want Bo or Possum finding the toys in your nightstand.” That stops Joy from saying anything for a minute.
“Do you not know about boundaries? What is in my nightstand is my business. Single woman here who is not looking to hook up with anyone but still has needs,” Joy says a little bit calmer this time.
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with your toys. I am glad you are not looking to hook up because sugar, you are hooked up with me and if you use those toys it will be with me.” Joy’s back goes straight and I know she is going to fight me on this.
“Last night was a mistake. It was two lonely people looking for comfort after a horrible couple of days and losing someone who is close to us. We had an itch to scratch and we used each other mutually. No harm, no foul.” I start to say something and she raises her hand to silence me and I stop so Joy can have her say. “I know you need to keep me safe until this is over and I appreciate that but when this is done then we both know we will be over.” I make sure Joy has it all out.
“No.” That simple. This woman is not hearing what I am saying.
“What do you mean, no?” Joy asks.
“I mean no, it was not a mistake. No, we will not be over. Someday, maybe, but if so, that is a conversation we will have then. You are my ol’ lady and that is just the way it is. I am a healthy red-blooded man, and I love to fuck, and I told you last night you were it for me so that means I will be fucking you, a lot.” It’s simple to me. Joy wants fidelity then this is how she gets it.