by Vera Quinn
“You’re going to be a terrific mom. I thought for sure you would send me away.” I don’t want her to see how desperate I am to have this, but I want her to know I’m grateful.
“Well, I can’t say when I first left I was thinking straight, but I have to do what is right.” I feel like a ton of worries had been lifted off my shoulders. “I am going to say this once, and then I will respect your boundaries. I will always love you. If you ever want me or need me, I will be there. I know I fucked up. I will be the best dad I can be. I know I won’t fail, because you won’t let me. You’ll always give me that swift kick I need. You’ll always hold my heart here.” I lay my hand over her heart and I feel her take in a breath and it hitches a little. It’s good to know I still make her feel something. She takes my hand and moves it and I know she’ll never be mine again. Not the way I want.
“You will always hold a part of my heart. I gave you my trust and my love. I do not do that easily. You are going to be the father of my child and we will have a bond forever. But I am not in love with you anymore, although I do love you. That’s why I want the divorce. I don’t just want it swept under the rug. I will be here for you as a friend always. I want to share custody. I know you will protect our child with your life, and that is good enough for me. I will have Cross fill out the paperwork and get it to you. It won’t take very long. We are in this all the way together, so I will send you a schedule of doctor appointments. I am going to try and deliver in Texas, if I can find two doctors to cooperate. I will stay there six to eight weeks after delivery and then back home, here. You are welcome anytime. I have to talk to dad about me staying, but I know he won’t mind and we will set you up a room, too. You can agree to any or all of this or none. I’ve tried to think of everything.” She takes a breath as if she was trying to get it all out. She looks a little relieved.
“Are you ok? You look like that took a lot out of you.” I put my arm around her protectively. She leans into me but stays stiff.
“I just didn’t know if I could get it all out without breaking down. I feel like I failed.” This woman amazes me more every day. She didn’t fail, I did. “I will give this everything I have. My mom will want to be there and if Kim lives through this stuff with Chief and dad, I’m sure she will, too. Is that ok?” Callie finds the situation with Kim funny. I just don’t want any more friction between us.
“Of course. All of you. Maybe, if dad and Steel don’t kill each other, we can do a cook out or something so your entire club can come meet the baby. We’ll all be family. That’s the way I see it. Don’t forget Stone, too.” We can do this. I won’t have all my heart, but I will have part of it.
“Ok. Do you have anything you need to know? I still have others to deal with and I think you need to head back to Oklahoma so I can quit worrying someone is going to shoot you.” I will prove to Callie I am the man she loved.
“When will we be able to find out if it is a boy or girl? I don’t care, but that way I know what color to buy.” I know it is a boy, but I would like to know for sure. “When I go for my five -month checkup, I think. If I find two doctors to cooperate, I will try to make it a Texas appointment. That way it won’t be so hard for you to get to the appointment. I will also have to stay in Texas when it gets close to the due date. I’ll work it all out. I know Kat and Gram will help me.” She’s going to include my mom. I can’t ask for more.
“I’m going to go. You still have people to see, but I am going to do something and I want no arguments.” I let her know I am serious. “I am setting up an account for you here. I will keep plenty of money in it for you. I want to support you while you’re pregnant with my child. I don’t want you going without.” She’s already shaking her head no.
“Kylar, I appreciate it, but I don’t nee d it. I have my own money. You can pay for half of my OBGYN that the insurance doesn’t pay and for the pediatrician. Nothing else for me.” I won’t take no for an answer. “Dra won’t let you pay for me, and well, neither will I.”
“I am responsible for you being in this condition, so I pay.” There’s no need for her to argue. “I’ll compromise. Set up the account, if I need anything I will use it. Also if I see anything I think you will need for your nursery, I’ll pick it up so we have the same things. Routine is important for babies.” I’m shocked again. Well maybe more surprised. I will need a nursery. I’m going to be a dad. I guess Callie sees the shock on my face. “You hadn’t thought of a nursery. You need to play catch up. Talk to your mom. She’ll help.”
“I guess I hadn’t thought about having the baby that much.” She looks like I just said something really stupid. “Get over it. When the baby is small I would like for you to visit here or for me to come to Texas or even Oklahoma. I have to run the last one by Dra first. But after it is a little older, I’m sure it will be hard for me, but I’m hoping we can get along well enough, to share with care. Those are my thoughts, anyway. I’m trying to be fair.” Callie looks like she could cry.
“It’s ok. We’ll do it. We have to. Now I need to get out of here.” I don’t want to, but I know with all this she has to be tired. I turn to her and I lift her chin in my fingers to me and I close the space between us and give her the lightest kiss on her lips. I want to deepen it so bad, but I don’t want to go backwards with her. I want to prove to her she can trust me. She will always have my heart.
“What the hell are you doing with your lips on my woman?” I really don’t care what Dra thinks, but I won’t make it worse for Callie.
“He’s just saying good-bye.” Callie speaks up. I get up off the bed and go to the door, but Dra stands in my way. No way will I back down from this dick. “A handshake will do.” I give him my biggest smile. “No, I like the kiss myself. I’m telling you now Dra, if you ever mess up I will be there waiting to take back what is mine.” We are standing toe to toe, nose to nose, and neither of us will back down.
“I’m not stupid like you. I will keep what is mine an d take care of what is yours, too. Don’t try to cause problems or we will have a situation.” I look at Callie and she looks like she could crawl under the bed. I move to the door, open it and look back, “Love you Callie. Take care of our baby.” I start to go but I have more thing to say. “Take care of our girl.” I walk out of the room and don’t stop until I am on my bike. I need the feel of my bike and the wind in my face to control this crazy. Dra may think he has won, but I know Callie still has feelings for me. It may take a while, but I will get her back. My soul depends on it. We make to the edge of town and I finally feel like I can breathe again. I pull over to fill the bikes with gas and dad and the brothers follow behind me.
“Are you good son? Did you and Callie come to an agreement?” Dad has concern written all over his face. “Callie and I are going to share custody. She’s even going to come back to Texas to give birth. She has a big a heart, as always. I’m the one who screwed up. She’s getting a divorce instead of an annulment because she wants our child to know we meant something to each other.” I am getting that feeling again in my chest. An ache I don’t think will ever go away.
“So it’s over? You’ll get over her son, as long as you have your child. It’s good you can agree.” Spoken like a true Dad. “No. We didn’t agree. I promised if her and my child made it, then I would walk away. She came up with all this. She has the most giving heart I know. This is not over. It will never be over. I will give this to her. She deserves it, but I will watch and if and when Dra screws up, I will take back what is mine. And this time I will do it right by her, and no one will come between us. On that you have my word.” That’s all I can give him. Nothing else needs to be said. We pump and pay and we are back in the wind.
CHAPTER 26
Callie
“What was that?” I know Dra is upset but I told him I needed closure and that is as close as it is going to get. “That was good -bye. I didn’t mean to hurt you but it had to be done.” I hope Dra can see my sincerity. I will never hurt him intentionally. Devi
l still feels like unfinished business.
“Are you ready to finish this so you can get some rest? I sent Krill af ter you some food. Hospital food sucks. I ordered grilled chicken and steamed vegetables. Good?” Dra isn’t happy but he’ll let it go. I will make it up to him. My stomach is growling now Dra mentioned food. It must be loud because Dra smiles.
“Guess that answered your question. Who’s next?” I want to get this over with so everyone can get back to their own lives. Just as the thought is in my head the door opens and Dad, Uncle Blake, and a man I’ve never met enters the room. This has to be Diamondback. I stiffen my back. I know it is time to do this.
“Uncle Blake, I have missed you.” He makes his way over to me and gives me a hug. “Looks like I got here just in time, sweetness. You are a sight for sore eyes. Was glad to get your call.” Uncle Blake is the same as always. It’s been two years since I’ve seen him, and he is the same grizzly bear of a man I have always felt comfortable with. He backs away and I can see the other man is uncomfortable. He’s twitchy and shuffling around on his feet.
“I take it you’re Diamondback. Will you have a blood test done to see if our DNA matches? I trust nothing Karen says or does. I want my own test done. That being said, what do you want from me? Just spit it out and could it be the truth the first time? I don’t like lies. You want to have anything to do with me, tell the truth.” Straight to the point. Only way I can be.
“We’ll do the test but you’re mine. Your sunny disposition almost proves it by itself.” So he wants to poke fun at me. “Mr. Diamondback, I don’t know you from Adam. I’ve had a bad few days.” I think about it. “Make that a bad few months. My patience with bossy bikers is maxed out right now, so do you think we could stay on point.”
“Ok, Miss Prissy Pants. All I ever wanted is to meet you and get to know my kid. I thought your ma could help me with that, but I didn’t know about the bad blood. She painted a hell of a different picture.” He is wearing on my nerves.
“Karen was never my ma or anything but a tormentor to me. I have a dad. He was my dad before he was my dad. Before he ever adopted me. Tommy and dad took care of me with Uncle Blake and Uncle Trent’s help. We are a family. I’m not saying this to hurt you, it’s just a fact. If you wanted to get to know me, all you had to do was ask. You didn’t have to set me up to get pregnant. I want a house full of kids. It would have happened.” I see regret in his eyes but there is something else there.
“That’s just it. I don’t have the time. I’ve not got that long left in this life. I have cancer and I just wanted to make sure our family went on. I know now it was wrong, but when a man is met with his own mortality, it does something to him.” I see the sadness in his eyes. This man has lived a hard life and it’s coming to an end. My heart aches for him. I reach my hand out to him and he takes it. “I would like to get to know you. If you want. No one ever has enough love in their life. Do you think we can do that?” He looks sad but hopeful.
“You’d do that after everything? You better get that test. No way Karen a nd I made someone so good hearted.” I smile at him and pull him in for a hug. He’s hesitant at first but finally gives in and I give him an awkward hug. I’m from Texas, we hug everyone. He steps away and I swear he has glassy looking eyes. “That other young man, Sarge. He’s riding with us now. Him and his buddy. He’s got it bad for you. You keep a line of fellas after you. Seems you broke his heart good. He’s been hitting the bottle pretty regular.” I look to dad. Sarge? Then I feel Dra stiffen beside me.
“It’s Mason and Cru London.” Now I remember dad telling me that. “You have that wrong. Mase cheated on me, but I still consider him a friend. Could you look after them both?” He shakes his head.
“My kid a few minutes and already asking for favors.” He’s smiling as he says it but I am not sure how to take it.
“It’s the least you can do.” Uncle Blake speaks up. Diamondback nods his head yes.
“Uncle Blake are you staying for a while? I want to catch up and visit. It’s been too long.” I hope he is, I miss him. “I’m staying for quite a while. Been transferred here. Came through when I was on the road here. Now I can be close.” That makes me happy. I look back to Diamondback
“If and when you get to know me you will find out I don’t ask for favors very often. If I want or need something done, I have been taught to take care of it myself. But I can be as good of a friend to you as you are to me.” I want him to know I am not a person who freeloads off a friendship. “Mason is special to me and always will be, but we can’t be together. I don’t trust him and trust is everything.” Dra relaxes again, but I know hearing about Mase is not easy for him.
“I understand, and will keep a close eye on him and his bud dy. But he is determined to get you back, or so he says. I’ll keep him busy.” Our eyes meet and lock. For some reason I think we could be friends.
“Time and distance will take care of that.” That was grandma’s saying. “True. I will set up the test and see you soon.” He turned and was gone. I relax now. Hopefully another problem taken care of.
CHAPTER 27
Dra As soon as Diamondback is out, Krill and Ty come walking in with bags filled with food. I hear Callie’s stomach growling and I know she needs to eat, but I have a few questions. I see Chief and Blake giving each other the eye, but they need to get over it. We have overcome so much, so they need to let whatever is between them go. I know the doctor will be back to see Callie again and I somehow need to get Callie to rest.
“So, why did this Mason leave your MC and follow Diamondback?” By the look on Chief’s face he’s not ready to explain it to Callie. “He didn’t like me not telling Callie about Diamondback and then me going with Devil to talk to the Rebellions 4blood MC. He thought he had the right to be kept in the loop and he had none. He had to prospect for us just like anyone else. He didn’t for Diamondback. Mason is a full member there and so is Cru. Sarge and Stealth.” Chief looks relieved. “Saves me a problem and Jeb is the best of the three, anyway.”
“What was the problem? How did they get in without prospecting?” Callie is puzzled, but I know how it happens. She’s not going to like this, but I know she needs to know. Chief looks at Blake and suddenly I see Chief doesn’t trust him. “Well, my problem was sooner or later I would have had to cut him loose. He won’t accept you and Dra any better than he did you and Devil. That could have only been problems. I’m not sure how he was patched in, but I know he had to take care of something big for the club.” Callie shakes her head in understanding. She needs to let it drop.
“So, Uncle Blake, when are you and Dad going to forget all the crap that went on between you two? You know neither one of you have Tina anymore, so suck it up buttercup and forget it.” Callie doesn’t beat around the bush. “Same goes for you sunshine.” She looks at her Dad. So they aren’t speaking over a woman. Interesting. “Give me my food, please. I am starving.” Krill hands Callie her take-out. Ty is handing out burgers for everyone else while Krill is getting the fries. Blake and Chief are still eyeing each other while getting ready to eat. “Please. I love you both and I need you both.” Callie stops talking as soon as she has her food ready to eat. She is digging in like a woman possessed. My baby is hungry. I start eating and then it comes to me. “Is everyone staying until this is over with Diamondback? We can handle it if you need to get back.”
“I’ll be here for good. Everything I need I brought with me. The rest I’ll replace.” That came from Blake.
“I won’t be going home until I spend some time with my daughter and find out exactly what she is doing.” Chief still don’t get it. He will.
“She’ll be staying with me. Right babe?” I look at Callie and she is already nodding her head yes. “As soon as the doc gives me the ok, I’ll be coming for my stuff. Since Kim is with you,” Callie looks at her dad and smiles, “I’ll have Kat ship my stuff from Oklahoma to you, and then I’ll come and get it. All I have is clothes and the pictures you gave
me. One trip, easy.” Callie is trying to dig into Chief’s life but he is giving her nothing. In fact, he is ignoring it.
“We’ll still be here until Diamondback decides to leave. You’re stuck w ith us, get used to it.” I know Chief is worried but there is no need. We have this, but Callie will like having them here. We finish up our food and I see Callie trying to hide a yawn and right on cue, the nurse comes in. “The doctor would like for Mrs. Steel to get some rest. She has had a room full of people all day. If she wants out by tomorrow, she needs her rest.” The mention of going home makes Callie smile. The nurse comes over and pushes the pump. “That’ll be your last dose. I’m taking it out, so gentleman, please give us some time. You may want to leave and let her get a little sleep and then come back.” The nurse starts taking things out of her scrub pockets. Blake, Chief, Ty, and Krill get up and start saying their good-byes and hugs to Callie.
“Baby Girl, you need anything? We will be back.” Chief hates to leave her and I understand that. I hear my text message alert go off. I stand up and pull it out of my pocket. I check it and the message I had been waiting for is finally here. Devil and his club are gone from our territory and I feel a little better now. At least that is over, for now. I look up and the door is closing and I see Krill’s back going out. The nurse takes out the pain pump attachment, then she, too, leaves us. I see Callie fighting sleep. I see the fatigue in her face. I go back over and lay back down beside her and pull her into my arms carefully. This is it, the peace I have found.