They had made legal promises to each other, not physical ones, but she’d assumed that would all work out based on one hot kiss. She’d made the first move then but desperately wanted him to make the first move now. Annie had her pride and didn’t want him to sleep with her just because they’d said “I do.” Or worse, pity.
She threw back the covers and went into the master bedroom’s adjoining bath. Lingering humidity and the sexy male scent of cologne told her Mason had recently showered. Apparently she’d slept harder than she’d thought because she hadn’t heard him. Obviously he’d taken care to be quiet. That was thoughtful and he got points, but her anger and hurt refused to budge.
After taking care of business, she checked on the twins and smiled tenderly at each of them still sleeping in their very own rooms. Little angels, she thought. They were safe, secure—loved. That’s all that mattered, right? Right.
Still, quiet time was rare and she went down the hall toward the kitchen to make coffee and enjoy a peaceful moment before all hell broke loose. The hallway opened to the family room, which was adjacent to the kitchen. With his back to her, Mason was standing there in blue scrubs because he was on his way to work. She so didn’t want to face him. Eventually she’d have to, just not right this minute.
But before she could scurry back to bed and pull the blanket over her head, he turned and spotted her. She froze, feeling like a deer caught in headlights.
“I’m sorry if I woke you,” he said.
Don’t be nice to me, she thought. Just don’t. If he was, she would have to let go of her anger and let down the only shield she had to keep out the hurt scratching to get in. She also couldn’t ignore him, no matter how ill at ease she felt.
Annie moved closer, trying to act as if all was fine and normal, but her legs felt stiff and trying to smile made her face hurt. “You didn’t wake me.”
“Good.” He nodded a little too enthusiastically, signaling that he felt awkward, too.
She was in the kitchen, but kept her distance from him. “Charlie and Sarah are still asleep.”
His gaze didn’t quite meet hers. “They must be growing.”
“I guess so.”
After a few moments of tense silence he said, “I made coffee. Would you like a cup?”
“Yes. Thanks.” This was so stiff, tense, awkward and overly polite, it made her want to scream.
He seemed relieved to have something to do and immediately took a mug from the cupboard above the coffee maker, then poured steaming hot liquid into it. Packets of her artificial sweetener were in a bowl on the counter and he ripped one open before shaking the powder in. Then he grabbed the container of flavored creamer from the refrigerator and poured that in, lightening the dark color to the exact shade she liked. The thoughtfulness was both incredibly sweet and super annoying. He held out the cup.
“Thanks,” she said grudgingly. She took a sip and noted that it was perfect. This was probably where she should meet him halfway. “How late are you working tonight?”
“It’s twelve hours, so seven to seven. Probably seven thirty-ish.”
“Ish?”
“If an emergency comes in around change of shift, I could be delayed getting out. Every day is different. Why?”
“I was wondering about dinner.”
“Right.” He leaned back against the counter and folded his arms over his chest.
Annie swallowed against a sudden surge of overwhelming attraction for the man she’d married. She’d seen him in scrubs before as he’d often come by the apartment after work to see Charlie and Sarah. When they’d been living with his folks she’d seen him before he’d left for the hospital, too. In her opinion the lightweight top and pants looked comfortable, like pajamas, and weren’t the sexiest ensemble in the world.
But the über masculine pose he struck drew her gaze to the contours of his chest and the width of his shoulders. She had the most powerful urge to be in his arms, held tight against his body. Except he’d shut the door on that and every night since then rejection grew wider and more painful.
“If you get hungry, go ahead and eat without me.”
“Hmm?” What were they talking about? Her mind had gone completely blank.
“Dinner. Tonight. If I’m not home and you need to eat, don’t wait for me.”
“Okay. I’ll make you a plate.”
“Don’t go to any trouble,” he said. “And I’m sure I’ll be home in time to help with baths.”
“Right.” A devoted dad. He wanted to help with the nighttime ritual. “Unless they’re really fussy, I’ll hold off until you get here.”
“Great.” Again with the enthusiastic nodding. He was going to give himself head trauma.
But again the sweet consideration irrationally ticked her off. It was official. She was crazy. “Okay, then.”
She sipped her coffee and looked anywhere but at him. “If you have to leave for work, don’t let me keep you.”
“I have a few minutes.”
She waited for him to say more but he didn’t. Since you could cut the tension in the room with a scalpel, she would think he’d have jumped on her suggestion and hit the road. But, oddly, he seemed reluctant to leave. Of course, that was about his children, not her.
“Would you like some breakfast before you go?” It seemed wrong somehow not to offer.
“No. Thanks, though. I’ll just grab something in the doctor’s dining room. At the hospital,” he added.
“Right. Because it’s logical that the doctor’s dining room would be at the hospital.” Was she awful for not resisting the urge to tease him?
“This is what you might call a ‘duh’ moment.” The corners of his mouth curved up, cracking the tension a little. For the first time, he met her gaze. “What’s on your agenda for today?”
Look at him. Asking his wife what her plans were for the day. Just like any normal couple. If he could pretend, so could she.
“I’m going to the apartment to clean out the last of my things.”
“You should let me help with that,” he said.
How ironic was this? She was ending her old life at the same time she was dealing with the unforeseen fallout from her new one.
“I gave my notice and have to be out.” She wrapped her hands more tightly around the mug.
“But the cast hasn’t been off your leg very long. Let me see if I can work something out and help—”
“It’s all right.” She was touched that his concern seemed genuine. But she was used to doing things alone. That was self-pity talking. She did have backup, just not from Mason. “I can handle it. Your mom is going to watch the twins. And Carla is meeting me there to help. She took a hooky day. Called in sick. Don’t tell Gabriel.”
“You think I’d rat her out when she’s helping you?” It wasn’t clear from his expression whether or not he was kidding. “I’m hurt that you think so little of me.” He was talking about his male pride but her pain went a lot deeper than that. A place she’d thought was scabbed over and protected. A wound from childhood that she’d actively worked to heal and forget. As much as she wanted to blame him, it wasn’t fair. They had moved quickly to marry. Between taking care of the babies and moving, they’d been so busy. Discussing the finer points of this arrangement hadn’t been a priority.
“On the contrary, I think you’re incredibly honest.” She sincerely meant that. “And on the off chance you might run into your brother, it was simply a reminder not to say anything about Carla.”
“My lips are sealed.”
And so, apparently, was his heart. She needed to do the same. “Good.”
He glanced at the digital clock on the microwave. “It’s time. I really have to go.”
“Have a good day.” Wasn’t she the world’s most supportive wife?
“Hold down the fort while I’m gone.” A husb
and’s automatic response.
“Will do,” she said.
He straightened away from the counter and hesitated for a moment. Annie had the feeling he was going to kiss her goodbye, a classic husband move, before heading off to work. She held her breath. But hope was a cruel thing because he didn’t move close to her after all.
“I’ll see you tonight.” He turned away and headed for the front door.
Annie heard the soft click of it closing behind him and thought it was the saddest sound ever. On the way to his car in the driveway he would walk across the porch that had caught her heart and reeled in her hopes. It symbolized the dream for a traditional family that she’d had her whole life. But regret flooded her now because she knew all the front porches in the world couldn’t fix what was wrong with this picture.
When she’d first met Mason, he hadn’t trusted her, what with being the sister of the woman who hadn’t told him he might be a father. And Annie hadn’t believed he would stick around and take care of his children. They’d been wrong and had become friends, working side by side to care for the twins both of them loved more than anything. Taking the marriage step had seemed perfectly logical but she never dreamed it would create this awful divide between them. They were together legally but had never been further apart.
Chapter Ten
Annie climbed the stairs to her soon-to-be vacant apartment and bittersweet memories scrolled through her mind. Jessica announcing that she was pregnant and didn’t know who the father was. The nervous and happy excitement when labor had started. The thrill of the twins’ birth turning to fear and unimaginable grief because Jess died. Bringing the babies here when they were so tiny and she couldn’t carry both of them up the stairs at the same time. The sheer terror of caring for both infants by herself.
Until Mason showed up and stood right here, she thought, looking at the familiar door. The moment she’d seen him, her life had changed in so many ways—some good, some not so much.
She unlocked the door and carried moving boxes and trash bags inside. The place was empty of furniture. Indentations in the carpet were the only clues that her couch and coffee table had once been there. Now they were in storage until decisions were made about what to do with everything. That seemed inconsequential considering everything else that was going on—or not going on.
“Hello.”
Annie turned and Carla stood in the doorway with cups of coffee in her hands. “Hey, you. Thanks for coming.”
“Doesn’t look like you need much help,” she said. “Mostly I came because you promised to take me to lunch.”
It felt good to laugh and Annie was grateful to her friend for that. And the coffee. She took the to-go cup Carla held out. “The big stuff is gone, obviously. I need another pair of eyes to make sure I don’t miss anything.”
“I can do that.” Carla looked around. “Where do you want to start?”
“The master bedroom.” Also known as the room for sleep because in her world no one was being bedded.
Annie led the way and again only the marks on the rug indicated where the bed and nightstands had been. In the bathroom they set their coffee on the countertop between the two sinks. Annie opened the medicine cabinet while her friend got down in front of the cupboard underneath the sink.
“There’s a shower cap here,” Carla said. “A couple of gigantic hair rollers. A long-handled back scrubber. Nearly empty bottles of shampoo and conditioner.”
Annie glanced away from what she was doing. “That was when I changed brands to get more volume. I kept those for an emergency.”
“Do you want me to put these in a box?”
If only hair products would take care of her current crisis. Come to think of it, if she had better hair, maybe Mason would be attracted to her.
“Annie?”
“Hmm?” She pulled her thoughts back to what she was doing.
Carla held up the plastic bottles. “Keep or toss?”
“Throw them out.”
“Done.” She pulled out a trash bag and dropped the discards into it.
Annie took bottles out of the medicine cabinet and checked each label. There was one that said “Jessica Campbell.” Prenatal vitamins. Her sister had wanted the cheapest over-the-counter brand but Annie had insisted she listen to her obstetrician, who’d said the prescription had the right amounts of what she needed for the baby. That was before she’d known there were two. A sob caught in her throat.
She’d been so busy with Charlie and Sarah that she hadn’t had time to grieve, and an unexpected pain settled in her chest. It was emptiness and loss and missing the only person she’d ever truly been able to count on to love her.
“Are you okay?” Carla was staring at her.
“Why do you ask?”
“Oh, please. Your face is an open book. Never play poker, by the way. You suck at bluffing.”
Annie handed over the bottle. “It just hit me all over again that she’s gone and isn’t coming back.”
“Oh, sweetie—” Carla took it from her and closed her hand over the name. “I wish there was something I could say to make it better.”
“Me, too. And I feel guilty.”
“Why? You were there for her when she needed you most. And you took in her children without missing a beat.” Carla sat back on her heels. “What could you possibly have to feel guilty about?”
“I love Charlie and Sarah with all my heart. They are the best thing that ever happened to me. But at what price?” Tears filled her eyes.
“Annie—” Carla stood, moved closer and hugged her. “It’s not like you made it happen. If you could bring her back, you’d do it in a heartbeat. And Jess wanted you to have the babies. She gave them to you.”
“She didn’t have a choice. I’m all she had and she’s all I had. Our mother and her husband made it clear no help was coming from them. Not that it ever did. In a meaningful way anyhow.”
“Their loss.”
“And I’m sad that the babies will never know their mom. She was loyal and brave. She stood up for me when no one else would.”
“You’ll tell them about her,” Carla said gently. “And all of her wonderful qualities aren’t gone forever. They’ll live on in her children.”
“You’re right.” Annie’s mouth trembled but she managed to smile. “I need to think about that.”
“You haven’t had much time or energy to think about anything. You’ve been treading water and getting by these last few months,” her friend pointed out. “And life is give and take, yin and yang.”
“I’m not sure where you’re going with that.”
“Losing your sister was horrible and tragic. But circumstances brought Mason into your life.”
Just hearing his name made Annie’s chest tighten, but not with sadness. It was way more complicated than that. “Yes. Mason is in my life.”
Annie turned back to the medicine cabinet and pulled out a thermometer, antibiotic ointment, peroxide and Band-Aids. First aid supplies would fix a scrape but not what was ailing her.
It was quiet in the room and she’d been too lost in her own thoughts to realize Carla hadn’t said anything in response to her Mason comment. In fact she could almost feel her friend’s gaze locked on her like a laser beam.
She glanced over her shoulder and knew her inability to bluff was going to bite her in the butt. “What?”
“Something’s bothering you. Something besides losing your sister.”
Annie didn’t want to talk about this but she faced the other woman and prepared to fake it. “No. I’m just tired. It’s been hectic. First my leg. Moving in with Flo and John. Settling the kids. Moving again and cleaning out the apartment.”
“Getting married.” Carla leaned back against the sink. “How’s that going, by the way?”
“It’s an adjustment.”
&
nbsp; “Of course. But in a good way.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked closer. “Right, Annie?”
“Yes. Of course—”
“Like I said. You suck at bluffing. Something is bothering you and for the life of me I can’t figure out what could possibly be wrong. You just married a great guy. He’s a hunk and a doctor. Is there any chance that your standards are just a little bit too high?”
Annie crossed her arms at her waist. “I’ll admit that on paper my life looks perfect—good job, two beautiful, healthy children and a really hot husband...”
“But...?” her friend prompted.
Annie shrugged. “He doesn’t want me.”
“He married you.”
“For his kids. To be a family. All of us under one roof for their sake.”
Carla looked confused. “I really wish it was happy hour and this place had some furniture.”
“What does that mean?”
“We could have wine and sit on a comfortable sofa for this chat.” She picked up their coffee cups and slowly settled on the side of the tub, patting the space beside her. “This will have to do. Now sit.”
Annie sat. “This isn’t something girl talk can actually fix.”
“Oh, ye of little faith. Besides, you won’t know unless you try. I had no words of comfort for you losing your sister, but I’ve got plenty to say about you and Mason.” Her friend was bossy, in a good way. “Now tell me what’s going on. The truth. Don’t hold back. What makes you think he doesn’t want you?”
“He doesn’t want to have sex with me.”
Carla nearly spit out the sip of coffee she’d just taken. “Tell me I didn’t just hear you say that your marriage hasn’t been consummated yet.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what you heard.” Annie told her what happened on their wedding night.
“Okay. But think about this. Everything went down so fast. Maybe he was giving you time. It’s possible he really is what he seems—caring and compassionate. That he was simply being a nice guy.”
“It’s been a week and he hasn’t made a move. No guy is that nice.” Annie had been miserable when she got here, but not like this. And, so far, talking things over was making her feel worse. “When he proposed, he said we liked each other, which is true. That we were friends, also true. But clearly he didn’t mean anything more than that.”
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