What Makes A Father (HQR Special Edition)

by Teresa Southwick

  “How do you feel? Do you want to have sex?”

  Annie thought about kissing him and he sure hadn’t pushed her away. “Yes.”

  “Okay, then. Do something about it,” Carla advised.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Come on to him. It’s not the olden days. Things have evolved. Women can make the first move and not be a hussy.”

  “I can’t. I’ve had enough rejection in my life. Enough humiliation. From Mason it would be—” Annie didn’t have the words to describe what a no from him could do to her.

  “Wouldn’t it be better to know?” Carla asked gently.

  Annie was dyslexic and school had been a challenge for her in more ways than one. She’d learned to compensate and be successful. Now her company was one of two finalists for the biggest contract they’d ever had and it was largely due to her vision and artistic execution of the campaign.

  Intellectually she knew all of this but her inner child still heard the other kids ridicule her, tell her she was stupid, ugly, an idiot. School had been isolating and lonely, still she’d made it through. But Mason was honest. If she faced him outright and forced him, he would tell her the truth. That they were married friends without benefits. But could she handle hearing it?

  “It probably would be better to know,” Annie said. “I’ll think about it.”

  * * *

  Mason had to do something. The situation with Annie was tense and getting worse every day. And it was all his fault. After the problems in his marriage, then the divorce, followed by a year’s deployment, he was apparently pretty rusty, socially speaking. He missed the easy conversation with Annie, the teasing and laughter. And the promise of that wedding kiss. But he’d blown it big-time.

  So here he was at Make Me a Match. The office was in a building in the Huntington Hills business complex. He parked and exited the SUV, then walked through the double glass doors into the lobby with its elegant marble floor. The elevator opened when he pushed the up button, and he rode it to the top floor, where his aunt Lillian’s business was located.

  The elevator doors opened into a reception area with comfortable furniture arranged to facilitate conversation. Carla Kellerman sat behind the desk, and he knew she doubled as greeter and his aunt’s assistant.

  She looked up when he stopped in front of her. “Hey, Mason. How are you?”

  “Fine.”

  “Really? You look terrible.”

  “Thank you.” He felt that way, too, but tried to make a joke.

  “Long hours at the hospital? Twins keeping you up at night?” There was an expression on her face: accusation mixed with pity.

  “All of the above,” he answered.

  “How’s Annie?”

  “Great,” he lied. He got the feeling she didn’t buy the deception.

  “To what do we owe this visit?” She toyed with a pen on her desk. “Since you got married—what was it, ten days ago?—I wouldn’t think you’d be in the market to meet someone.”

  “I’m here to see Aunt Lil.”

  “I didn’t see your name on her schedule. Do you have an appointment?”

  “No.” He was just desperate. “She was out of town and couldn’t make the wedding. I haven’t seen her for a while and just dropped by to surprise her. Maybe take her to lunch.”

  “Too bad. You just missed her,” Carla said. “She had a lunch meeting.”

  Well, shoot, he thought. “My bad. I should have called first.”

  “Since you’re here, do you want to say hello to Gabriel?”

  Mason could truthfully say his brother was the last person he wanted to discuss this problem with. “That’s okay. Don’t bother him.”

  “Do you want to leave a message for your aunt?”

  “Just tell her I was here and I’ll talk to her soon.” He lifted a hand. “Thanks, Carla. See you.”

  “Mason, is there anything I can help you with?”

  She was Annie’s good friend and the second-to-last person he wanted to talk to about this.

  “No. It’s all good. I’ll just be going now—”

  “Mason. What are you doing here?” His brother walked into the reception area from a side hall.

  “Just stopped by to say hi to Aunt Lil, but she’s not here. So I’m going to take off—”

  “What’s your hurry? Have you had lunch? I was just going to order takeout. Wouldn’t mind some company. Come on back to my office.”

  “Okay.” There was no way to make a graceful exit now. “Nice to see you,” he said to Carla.

  “You, too. Say hi to Annie for me.” The woman looked as if she was going to say something more but instead she just smiled.

  “Will do.”

  Mason followed Gabe to an office at the end of the hall. When both of them had walked inside, his brother closed the door.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  “That’s direct.”

  His brother was wearing a T-shirt, jeans and sneakers. Mason had a hunch that, at least for today, his consulting work was strictly behind the scenes and not with clients.

  “That’s the way I roll. Now answer the question.”

  He stood in front of the abnormally tidy desk because there were no visitor’s chairs in front of it. “Nothing is wrong. Why would you think that?”

  Gabe rested a hip on the corner of his desk. “Because you’ve never dropped in to see Aunt Lil.”

  “I was deployed. It was a little difficult to commute for a drop-in,” Mason said. “And how do you know that? You haven’t been here that long.”

  “I’ve been here long enough to know that this visit is out of character for you.”

  “What do you know about character?”

  “Okay.” His brother looked down for a moment then gave him a wry look. “You’re going to mock me because math and spreadsheets and data are my thing.”

  “Well, yes, that was my plan,” Mason admitted.

  “It’s true that I’m not involved very much with the other part of this business. But since you’ve been back from deployment, you never just dropped by to see Aunt Lil at work. That’s not criticism, simply a fact. From that data I can extrapolate that you have a problem and think our aunt is qualified to advise you. Since you so recently got married, I deduce your issue is in some way connected to your wife. I’m right, aren’t I?”

  Mason sighed. “You’re not wrong.”

  “I’m listening,” Gabe said.

  Mason figured it was a symptom of his acute desperation that he was actually considering telling Gabe what was going on. The brother who’d warned him that he might be moving too fast and marriage would change everything.

  “I want your promise that you won’t discuss this with anyone else. Especially anyone in the family,” he added.

  “Are you serious? I can’t promise that. I’m not a priest or lawyer ethically bound to keep our conversation in the strictest confidence. No medical privacy issues, either.” Gabe’s grin was a clear indication of just how much he was enjoying this.

  “Then I’m not going to tell you.” Mason half turned toward the door.

  “Okay. You win. My lips are sealed. But at least can I have an ‘I told you so’?”

  “I think you just did.” Mason hoped he didn’t regret this. “Now I want you to swear that you won’t reveal to anyone what I’m going to talk about.”

  “Like swear on a Bible?”

  “On the bond of brotherhood,” Mason said.

  “That’s really deep.” His brother made a cross over his heart. “You have my solemn promise.”

  “Okay.” Mason blew out a breath. “I messed up with Annie. On our wedding night.”

  “Dear God, Mason. I’m probably not the best person to help with that. And, for crying out loud, performance in bed is not in Aunt Lil’s wheelho
use, either. Maybe you should see a doctor—”

  “It’s not that.” Once again Mason was reminded that he was a healer and not so good with words.

  “What a relief. So it’s not sex—”

  “It kind of is.”

  Gabe shook his head. “Just tell me what happened.”

  “Everything was fine when we left after the wedding. We got the twins settled pretty fast. They were both sound asleep at the same time, which almost never happens. It was just Annie and me—” When his brother gave him a get-to-the-point scowl, Mason said, “I was trying to be sensitive. All the men she’s known are jerks and I didn’t want to be another one. I didn’t want her to feel pressure to...you know—”

  “Sleep with you?”

  For now Mason ignored the irony of a doctor being reluctant to use the words. “It was supposed to be an out if she wanted one.”

  “What did you say?”

  “That she was probably tired.”

  Gabe gave him a pitying look. “I’ll admit I’m better with financial facts than women, but even I know not to tell a woman how she feels.”

  “I found that out.” Mason would never forget the look in her eyes. Emotions had swirled but he’d had no idea what they were. He’d only known that at that moment everything between them changed. In a bad way. “The thing is, it’s awkward and tense now. I don’t know how to fix it. Doing the wrong thing could be worse than doing nothing at all.”

  “I had no idea.” Gabe shook his head.

  “What?”

  “That you suck this bad at romance.”

  “Now you know,” Mason snapped.

  “I guess I’m not the only Blackburne who focuses on data and logic instead of emotions.”

  “If this was an emergency room and you were having a heart attack, I’d know exactly what to do. I’m stethoscope and chest tubes, not a matters-of-the-heart guy.”

  “I get it.”

  Mason met his gaze. “Since you just admitted you know very little about women, it’s quite possible that I just bared my soul and humiliated myself for no reason. You can’t help.” Mason started pacing. “You’re useless.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far. At least, not completely useless.” Gabe looked thoughtful. “I try to avoid the interpersonal part of the business but it’s impossible to work here and not absorb some things.”

  “Such as?”

  “How to set a romantic scene.” His brother shrugged. “We arrange a lot of first dates. I hear things.”

  “In my case, it seems a lot like shutting the barn door after the horse got loose.”

  “Ah, yes. You’ve already met someone and married her.” Gabe nodded. “You moved so fast, I have to ask. Have you ever actually taken Annie out? On a date, I mean?”

  “It’s been hectic,” Mason defended. “We have two babies. Then she broke her leg. It’s not easy to align everything for alone time.”

  “Making the most of what you’ve got is another conversation and not my point anyway. But there are things you can do to maximize the moments you do have.”

  “Such as?”

  “Bring her flowers. Put rose petals on the bed. A bottle of champagne chilling in the bedroom.” Gabe threw up his hands. “Google ‘romantic gestures.’ Because that’s all I’ve got. Or you can ask Mom.”

  “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” Mason barely held back a wince.

  “Too far?” Gabe grinned. “But you must see where I’m going with this.”

  “You’re talking about courting her.”

  “Finally the clouds part and the light shines through.” Then his smile faded, replaced by a lost and angry look. “I’m not sure of the rules anymore, but it used to be a kiss good-night on the first date.”

  “I’ve already kissed her,” Mason said.

  “Before the wedding?”

  When he nodded, Gabe asked, “And?”

  “Hot. Very, very hot.”

  “Good, you’ve got some game. On the second date, more kissing and touching. If that works, seal the deal on the third date.” Gabe’s expression was ironic. “I can’t help pointing out that this is something you should have taken care of before the vows.”

  Mason glared at his brother. “I’ve lost count. You’ve said ‘I told you so’ how many times now?”

  “Sorry.”

  “No, you’re not.” But Mason laughed.

  “No. I’m not.” Then Gabe turned serious. “I like Annie a lot. And those kids are terrific.”

  “You’ll get no argument from me.”

  “I really wish you luck, Mason.”

  “Thanks.” They shook hands and Mason pulled him into a bro hug. “I have to go. Things to do.”

  And a first date to plan.

  Chapter Eleven

  Annie left work later than usual, partly because a deadline was approaching and she’d felt the need to put in more time on her graphics for the new contract presentation. Partly to avoid Mason. He was off today and had taken over childcare while she’d gone to the office. Now she had to go home. It took so much energy to be chipper and “normal” when she felt anything but and she didn’t have the sparkle to spare.

  In spite of that, her heart always skipped a beat when she saw him. Tired after a long hospital shift. First thing in the morning, all rumpled and scruffy. Playing with the babies. When they worked together taking care of Sarah and Charlie, the tension went away and everything was like it used to be before they were married. But when they were alone...

  Was Carla right? Should she come on to him? She was too oomph-depleted to think about it right now.

  She guided her car onto the street where she’d lived only a short time and a knot tightened in her stomach. After pulling her compact car into the driveway and parking, she got out then opened the rear passenger door to retrieve her laptop case from the seat.

  She walked to the front door and sighed with satisfaction over her porch. She did love it. Bracing herself, she went inside and made her way to the back of the house. It was eerily quiet. No baby coos, chatter or even crying. That was weird.

  She moved into the kitchen, where Mason was at the counter, his back to her. It was a broad back, wide shoulders. And if things were different between them, she would march over and let herself feel those muscles for herself.

  He turned and smiled. “I thought I heard you come in.”

  That grin was like a direct hit to her midsection and the shockwaves went through her whole body. “H...Hi.”

  “You had a long day.” He glanced at the case in her hand and moved close. “Let me take that for you.”

  “What?” His hand closed over hers and held on maybe a little longer than necessary before he took it and her purse. “Oh... I can—”

  “I’ll just put these over here on the floor in the family room.”

  The manly scent of his skin had her senses reeling with awareness and she missed it when he moved away. Although distance allowed her brain to start functioning again.

  “Where are the twins?”

  “Asleep.” He walked back into the kitchen and went to the bottle of wine sitting on the granite countertop. It was already open and breathing. He poured some of the deep burgundy liquid into two stemless glasses then handed one to her.

  “They’re actually asleep?” she asked.

  “Yeah. No nap today, which I kind of planned.” He moved close and looked down at her. “We did errands. Then I took them for a long stroller ride in the park and they got lots of fresh air. They were tired and fussy for baths, but it worked out.”

  “You bathed them, too?”

  “Yeah. You’ve been working hard. I knew you’d be tired.”

  She had been but right now not so much. This new and different Mason had her attention. After a sip of wine she said, “I be
tter get dinner started.”

  “I already did. It’s not fancy,” he said. “Salad, twice-baked potatoes and steaks. I’ll grill them.”

  “Wow.” This couldn’t be real. She must have stumbled into an alternate reality. “That sounds great. I’ll set the table.”

  “Already done.”

  She glanced over at her small dinette set in the nook. There was a bouquet of flowers in the center and her heart simply melted. She could feel liquid warmth trickling through her as she stared at the white daisies, baby’s breath and strategically positioned yellow roses. She walked over and leaned in to smell the sweet, floral fragrance.

  “Mason, they’re beautiful.”

  “Did you know that there are meanings attributed to different colored roses?”

  “I think I heard that somewhere, but I’m a little surprised that you know.”

  “I got quite the education at the florist.”

  Her eyes widened. These weren’t just an impulse buy at the grocery store? “You made a special trip?”

  “Yeah. The twins won over everyone in the place and I think that got me extra attention.”

  The babies might have helped a little, but a man as incredibly good-looking as Mason would get attention from women if he was alone. “I’m pretty clear on the significance of red and white roses. But not yellow.”

  “According to Cathy, of Flowers by Cathy, it means joy, friendship and the promise of a new beginning.”

  Be still my heart, she thought. Then her practical self shut down any deeper implication. He probably just liked the color.

  “They’re really beautiful. So cheerful. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He moved to where she stood by the table and held up his wineglass. “What should we drink to?”

  The sounds of silence surrounded her and she smiled. “Our healthy babies.”

  “To Charlie and Sarah.” He touched his glass to hers and they sipped. “You must be starved. I’ll cook the steaks.”