It gives me the extra few seconds I need to make my escape. This time, I don’t scurry. I fucking run.
I sprint down the stairs, two at a time, run out the building and ignore the shouts of my name echoing down the block from two stories up. I dash down two blocks on Broadway, ignoring the concerned looks on people’s faces as I wipe away tears and struggle for breath after breath. I still feel like I can’t breathe. I need...I need something.
I feel around in my pocket, but realize too late that I’ve left my phone there in my hurry to leave. I need to call someone. Let them know I’m coming. Figure out what the fuck I’m going to do next.
If I had been thinking clearly at the time, I probably wouldn’t have stopped on my way to the subway that night. I wouldn’t have spied a pay phone across the street, dodged oncoming traffic flying down Broadway in order to get to it. I wouldn’t have fished the dollar out of my purse I needed to make long distance phone calls. I would have just kept going.
But at that moment, I needed to hear his voice more than I needed to be safe. To me, they were the same thing.
“Hello?”
The deep, melodic tone is instant balm to my soul, but also opens up wounds even further. The chaos of the last twenty minutes breaks over me like a waterfall, and the tears immediately turn to choked sobs.
“N-Nico?”
It’s loud. There’s static on the other end of the line, like he’s outside, maybe driving somewhere. And for a second, I’m not sure if he can hear me. Or if he even wants to at all.
“Layla?” His voice is scratchy. Worried. “Is that you?”
“I-I want you to k-kill him,” I stutter automatically into the phone, my words caught on the sobs. I barely even know what I’m saying as all the pain and frustration of the last few weeks, months, shit, the entire year, pours out of me. “I want you to come with your-your boys. Flaco. K.C. Who—I don’t know—who-whoever you would bring to help you. And I-I want you to beat the sh-shit out of him, j-just like you would have, w-way back w-when...you know...w-when you were younger.”
I don’t really know what he was like back then. He’s told me a little about it, and I’ve seen for myself that he’s no one to mess with. I’ve seen him wrangle unruly men at bars like they were nothing, seen his fists curl with the urge to fight. I know at the very least that when he told me to call him, threatening to take care of anyone who hurt me, he meant it.
My fear has suddenly been replaced with anger, an anger I’ve never known before. It’s a rage that burns white, like a glowing iron that’s so hot the red has all but disappeared. More than anything else, I’m angry that I don’t have the power to fight back the way I want to. That I’d never be able to.
But maybe Nico could. Maybe he would. For me.
The buzz behind the phone dies down, but his voice still crackles, like he’s getting out of range.
“Nico?” I ask again. “Are you there?”
At first there’s no answer. Then he’s back: “Where are you?”
“I’m-I’m at a pay phone,” I manage. “T-two blocks from h-his place. H-he...I c-can’t...” The words choke in my mouth. How can I tell him this? I don’t even know how to explain it to myself.
The line breaks up again, but occasionally there’s some swearing. “Motherfucker” breaks through a few times, but I can’t tell anything else.
This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have called. And as I look through the window of the phone booth to see Giancarlo jogging erratically down the other side of the street, I realize just how stupid my mistake really was.
“I have to go,” I say quickly. “I’m sorry. He’s coming toward me, and I don’t know what he’s going to do. I need to get help, okay? I need to go!”
I don’t wait to hear Nico’s response, just drop the phone as Giancarlo spots me and start sprinting down the street.
“Layla!” he shouts.
My feet trip on the pavement, but I manage to keep my footing. Several cars honk as I run into oncoming traffic, but the gamble means I reach the subway entrance a full block earlier than Giancarlo. I jog down the stairs, praying for a train, not considering what I’ll do if he corners me in the station while I wait.
The attendant in the booth watches curiously as I hurriedly swipe my MetroCard. I exhale with relief as a train pulls up almost immediately.
“Layla!” Giancarlo shouts from the other side of the turnstiles, blocked by a flush of people exiting the platform. “Come back now!”
But I just stare, deadened, crying, terrified, as the scratched glass subway doors close between us, cutting off his voice. His black stare pins me to the hard, plastic seats as the train leaves, and we dive underground into blackness.
I ride it all the way down to the last stop, and then back up to Union Square. And then I wait a solid ten minutes behind a statue, waiting for Giancarlo to appear on my street. When he doesn’t, I dodge across the street like a shadow and into my building. And it’s only with a nod at the security guard that at last I feel safe.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Nico
The phone rings. And rings. And rings. And again, goes to voicemail. Fuck. Fuck. I’ve been trying to call her for the last hour, and nothing. I thought at first she was stuck in the subway, but it’s ringing too many times for that. Layla either doesn’t have her phone—which would, I guess, explain why she was calling from a pay phone—or she’s ignoring me again.
I feel like I’m going crazy. Today was supposed to be a good day. A day to say goodbye to LA in style before K.C. and I drive back to New York together. As fate would have it, I wasn’t the only one fed up with California.
“Too much fuckin’ sunshine,” he said as we sat on the balcony of his apartment a few weeks ago with a couple of beers.
He’s been out here almost three years. He’s had enough. So when a radio station in New York offered him a job, K.C. took it. It’ll allow him the freedom to play only the shows he really wants to play while at the same time making a decent steady income.
Our plan was to sell as much of my stuff as we could, then drive back to New York in his Yukon, which doesn’t break down every month like my crappy Jeep and also has the benefits of air-conditioning. I was on my way to sell the stupid thing, then go to the goodbye party for us (okay, mostly K.C.) at some lounge in WeHo. I barely managed to get through the sale, but a solid chunk of that money just went to a last-minute plane ticket.
My cab stops, and I jump out after tossing a few bills toward the driver. I jog into the party, which is in full swing now. It’s mostly full of people from Venom, here before the club opens, and a bunch of other industry types who are just strangers to me. These people are here to say goodbye to K.C. and mingle with each other. Everyone in LA is out to get something. If you’re like me, with nothing to offer except a best friend who’s starting to make a real name for himself, you’re not worth much except as a point of contact.
But it’s a good feeling not to be riding on my friend’s coattails anymore. A feeling I was enjoying an hour ago while I drove up Sunset, thinking about the next steps I’ll take in another week or so when I arrive for my first day at the FDNY Academy. I was feeling great before I got that phone call.
“Yo!” K.C.’s voice echoes through the crowd when I storm into the lounge, even though it’s immediately swallowed by the conversations around us. “There he is: Mr. FDNY!”
A few people cheer and clap toward me, but I ignore them as I walk toward my friend. As soon as he catches the thunder on my face, K.C. immediately pushes a girl off his lap and stands up.
“Hey!” she crows, but he waves her away.
“What’s up?” he asks. “What’s going on?”
“I need a favor,” I say. “I gotta leave for New York tonight. Now. It’s Layla—her boyfriend—”
“Who, Mrs. Perón? She spill something on her dress?”
If I wasn’t so pissed off, I’d laugh. K.C. took the Evita nickname and ran with it, probably because he kno
ws just how hard it is for me that Layla has a boyfriend. But I’m not in a laughing mood, and the jokes stop immediately.
“Yo,” K.C. demands. “What’d that motherfucker do?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know, man. I don’t know. She called, freaking out on the street somewhere, asking me to fuck him up.”
“Is she okay? Where the fuck is she?”
I gotta give it to my friend. He’s only met Layla a few times, but like any best friend would, he knows how important she is. Dude’s already bouncing on his heels like he’s ready to jump clear across the country to have my back.
“I don’t know,” I say, over and over again while I pace around in a circle. I really do feel like I’m about to go crazy. “I don’t fuckin’ know. I was on my way to sell the Jeep, and the phone cut out. She’s not answering hers. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, and I’m fuckin’ freaking out.” I clasp his shoulder. “You gotta drive yourself, man. I need to be on the next flight out of here.”
K.C. nods. “Yeah, yeah, of course. Go get your girl, man. Tell her we’re gonna fuck that motherfucker up when we get back. Tell her I’ma cut off that pendejo’s balls myself.”
I give a slight smile, but it’s just talk right now. K.C. would probably help me take that fucker down if I really wanted—he had my back plenty of times when we were younger. But right now, he doesn’t know what he’s saying. He doesn’t know how capable I feel of outright murder.
Still, one thing is more important than that. I need to get to Layla. I need to find my girl.
“Thanks, mano,” I say. We slap hands, and K.C. pulls me in for a quick hug.
“Anytime, man, anytime. Your stuff is all packed?”
I nod. “I’m going back to the apartment to grab as much as I can. Everything else is in the corner.”
“I got it, I got it. See you in a few days.”
I turn to leave, start weaving my way around the people who are mostly there just to see K.C. A few from Venom reach out to say hi, but I ignore them, only one thing on my mind.
“Nico!”
I turn back to K.C.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” he calls out. Then, with a funny half-salute: “Wait ’til I get there.”
It’s not until I’m waiting for my crazy fuckin’ expensive red-eye flight to New York to board, that I finally get some answers. My Yankees hat is wrinkled, the bill crunched, since I’ve taken it on and off so many times in the last four hours. I just dropped half the money I got for the Jeep on this ticket, but I don’t even care. I’d sell a kidney right now if it would get me to New York faster.
I’ve called everyone I can think of trying to get some answers. Gabe’s been walking up and down Broadway all damn day, but he hasn’t seen anything. I even called Quinn, Layla’s so-called best friend, blowing up her damn phone for hours, but nothing. No texts. Nothing.
But it’s Quinn’s number on my phone right now. Finally, some answers.
“Hello?” I answer in a rush. “Quinn? What the fuck is happening back there? Have you heard from her?”
I’m loud and frantic, and the businesswoman sitting next to me in the crowded waiting area gives me a dirty look. I glare at her and stand up, pacing toward the big windows of the gate.
“It’s all right,” Quinn says. “She’s here, okay? Sorry I didn’t see your calls until now. I left my phone at the gym.”
Relief floods me—and when I say floods me, I mean practically knocks me down. I brace a hand on a pillar to hold myself up.
“Fuck,” I exhale. “Thank God. Can I—can I talk to her? Is she there?”
“Yeah, she’s here. She’s still a little shaken up, but I think she’ll want to say hi.”
There’s a rustle on the other end of the line, and a few moments later, sweetest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever heard in my life sounds through the phone.
“Nico?”
My body sags against the pillar. “Baby?”
There’s a sniffle, like she’s trying not to cry again, and suddenly, I feel like doing the same.
“Hey,” she says. “Are you—are you okay?”
“Am I okay? Jesus Christ, Layla.” I rub my face with my hand. Goddammit. This flight is too slow. This world is too slow. I need to be with her now. “What’s going on?”
“Give me that.” Quinn’s voice sounds in the background, and there’s another shuffle before she comes back on the line. “Hey.”
“Hey your fuckin’ self,” I snap. “I want to talk to Layla.” I have no patience with this chick’s bullshit. Not now.
“She needs a moment,” Quinn says. “It’s been a shitty fucking night, Special Delivery, and I don’t think she should have to talk about it again.”
“What do you mean, again?” I ask, ignoring the stupid nickname that doesn’t even work anymore, considering I’m no longer a FedEx guy.
“I mean the cops have been here all goddamn night, and she’s been grilled over and over again while they took her statement. Fucking vultures. You’d think she was the one being accused of sexual assault, not the fucker who actually did it.”
At the words “sexual assault,” I have to close my eyes as I pressed my forehead hard against the pillar. It doesn’t help. I can still only see red.
“What happened?” I grit out.
“You want me to say?” Quinn asks, clearly speaking to someone away from the phone. Layla. Goddammit, I just want to talk to her, not pushy Massachusetts princess.
“Quinn—” I bite out.
“He tried to rape her,” she states bluntly. “Tried to force her to suck him off. When she didn’t want to do that, the asshole threw her on the bed, tried to fucking strangle her, and then started, you know, the next step. He was pissed because she had gone somewhere without telling him or some bullshit like that. We’re pretty sure he was on something. Not like that fucking matters.”
“Fuck!” I slap my palm against the pillar hard enough that the pain of it vibrates up my arm. If I felt like murder before, now I feel like I could take out this entire fucking building.
The attendants at the desk look at me, alarmed, as do several other people waiting to board the plane. I glance at them, but turn around. I need to keep my cool. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I can’t get kicked off this flight.
For a second, I wonder if Quinn is embellishing, making the story more than it really is. But I remember Layla’s voice—the terror I heard when she called. No matter what happened, that wasn’t fake. That was real. And I want to kill the motherfucker who made her sound like that.
“Let me talk to her,” I say once I’m able to think clearly again. Well, as clearly as I can.
“Don’t upset her, Romeo,” Quinn says. “She’s been through enough today already, you hear me? She’s been through enough this entire fucking year. It’s really late over here, and we all need to get some sleep after this fiasco.”
“Quinn. Please.”
“All right, all right.”
There’s some more shuffling as the phone is handed back to Layla.
“Hey,” she says. “I—sorry. I just...yeah. I can’t really talk about it anymore.”
“You don’t need to be sorry for anything,” I tell her. “And you don’t need to talk. I just needed to know you’re okay, baby. I’ve been going crazy over here.”
She sniffs again. Fuck, I didn’t want to make her cry.
“I’m okay,” she says. “You don’t have to worry, okay? My friends are here. We’re getting everything figured out. I’m sorry to take you away from whatever you’re doing. I shouldn’t—I shouldn’t have called you like that.”
“Baby, didn’t I tell you to call me if he ever did anything to you? Didn’t I?”
There’s silence for a second. Then a very small: “Yes.”
“So you just did what I asked. I’m glad you did. And I’m so fuckin’ glad you’re all right.”
“I am,” she says. But she still sounds sad. “So, um, yeah. You can go back to
whatever it is you’re doing today. Hanging out with your friends or Jessie or whatever...”
I hate the way her voice quivers. She sounds so weak, so tired. Then I realize that she doesn’t know. We haven’t talked in weeks, months. She doesn’t know the results of my interview. She doesn’t know that I’m on my way to New York.
“Layla,” I say, trying and failing to keep my voice from shaking. “I—I’m at the airport.”
“Oh? Where are you going?”
“I’m coming to you, sweetie.”
Around me, the airport buzzes, but I can only hear this girl. She’s the center of this moment, her gravity, her power over my mind, my heart, makes everything else silent, obsolete. Why the fuck did I ever try to fight it?
“What?” she asks finally. “What do you mean?”
“I got in,” I tell her softly, turning my face back toward the pillar and pulling my cap low. “To the FDNY. I start the academy in two weeks.”
I wish to God I were there, watching her face while I tell her. I’d be down on my knees right now. Begging her to forgive me for waiting this long to tell her the truth: I belong to her.
“That’s...oh, Nico. That’s amazing. I knew you could do it...”
I can feel her grappling with her answer, unsure of exactly what to say. It’s not the overjoyed response I was hoping for, but of course, she’s not exactly herself. I close my eyes in pain, imagining her curled up on her bed or the couch. Holding her stomach the way she does when she’s hurting. Curled into herself.
I want to wrap myself around her. Tell her it’s going to be all right. Tell her that I’m there, that I’ll make sure she’s safe, that I’ll never leave her again.
“Now boarding all seats for Flight 117 to New York/La Guardia Airport.”
The call for general boarding rings out, pulling me back to this moment. Seven hours. Seven more hours, and I’ll be there. I can tell all of this to her in person and more.
“Layla?” I ask as I turn toward the gate.
“Yeah?”
“I’m coming back,” I tell her again, willing her to understand. “So don’t—don’t do anything, okay? Don’t go anywhere, because I’m coming straight to you. And, baby? I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much. Do you hear me, Layla? I love you.”
Bad Idea- The Complete Collection Page 64