I hang by the pool with Gage, Micah, and Gar. Scott and Linda have gone down to the beach with Mattie. I pop the lid on a couple beers, handing one to Gage. Micah and Gar help themselves. “Zeta has been gushing about your band,” I tell Gage. “And we wouldn’t mind hearing you some time.” I nod at my boys. I’d already mentioned it to them this morning. “It’s not common knowledge yet, but we’re setting up our own label and we’re looking for new talent to sign.”
The big guy’s eyes light up. “For real?”
“Hell, yeah.” Gar chinks his bottle against Gage’s before retrieving his Fender. “Why don’t you play us one of your songs. Zeta says your original stuff rocks.”
Without breaking a sweat, Gage slides the guitar over his shoulder, tests a few strings, and starts playing. He closes his eyes as he sings, and there’s a raw, husky quality to his voice and a rustic sound to the melody as he performs for us. We grin, nodding and slapping him on the back when he’s finished, and the dude’s grin is so wide it threatens to split his face.
“You got any gigs lined up next weekend?” I ask.
He nods. “We play a regular gig every Friday night in Queens.”
“We’re coming up to the city for the VMAs that night, but we can drop by and catch your show after.”
The girls come back shortly after that, joining us by the pool. Gage goes off to call his brother and the other members of their band to tell them about Friday night, and seeing the look of pure excitement on his face makes me feel good. I remember the buzz when things first started happening for me and how it was the only thing that distracted me from missing my girl. My eyes automatically search her out, and my cock instantly perks up.
Zeta looks completely fuckable in a black and gold bikini that leaves very little to the imagination. She’s splashing about in the pool with Kayla and Lennon, and I can’t keep my eyes off her. Gar flops down on the lounger beside me, sipping his beer while he does zilch to mask the fact he’s ogling my girl with the same intensity.
I thump him in the arm. “Fuck off staring at her.”
He rubs his arm, turning to face me. “Sorry, dude. Can’t help it. She draws the eye, you know.”
“Unfortunately, I do.” I sip my soda with a grimace, my jealousy flaring at the thought of any guy eye-fucking my woman.
“Dude, that’s the least of your worries. She kinda flipped out yesterday morning when I mentioned the bunny boiler, so how’s she gonna handle the women once we get back to the city?”
“She’d handle it a whole lot better if some asshat stopped banging on about past shit that should be long dead and buried.”
“She’s gonna find out, Stone. You can’t stop that from happening. It’s not like you’ve been a fucking saint or anything close to it.”
“She’s a music journalist, Gar. She knows how the industry works, and she’s handling it fine so far.”
He shoves his sunglasses on top of his head. “So, she’s okay with you signing tits and asses? With you doing semi-naked photo shoots with supermodels? With you simulating sex with naked women in our videos? With girls throwing themselves at you even if she’s on your arm? With how the media will twist innocent situations into betrayals?”
Even though he’s saying it as it is, it pisses me off more than I can explain. “She trusts me, and I won’t let her down,” I say through gritted teeth.
He holds up his palms in a conciliatory gesture. “I’m just looking out for you, man. There will always be bitches looking to land you in trouble, always be paps looking to hang you out to dry. I’m just trying to forewarn you, so no need to get your panties in a bunch.”
I flip him the bird just as Kayla and Zeta emerge from the pool, walking our way. With her curvy figure, long legs, sun-kissed skin, and sexy tats, she’s like a walking dream. Water drips down her shoulders, trickling down the gap between her glorious tits, running over her perky nipples, and my cock is at full mast in my swim shorts.
“Fuck. Me,” Gar exclaims, eyes superglued to her chest, and I slap the back of his head. “I couldn’t hate you any more right now if I tried.”
“I will knock you the fuck out,” I growl. “I’m serious.”
“Do we have a problem, boys?” Kayla asks with a smirk, perching her baby son on one hip while she fights a smile. She so knows what’s going on.
“The only problem is this pussy here.” Gar nudges me in the ribs. “He’s worse than any girl on her period.”
I flip him the bird again. “Fuck off and find your own girl to drool over.” I open my arms for Zeta. “My girl’s taken.” She crawls into my lap, straddling my hips, and leans down to kiss me. I don’t care that she’s dripping water all over me. The way she’s claiming me is turning me the fuck on, but I know we have an audience, and I’m not giving Gar a show. Reluctantly, I break our kiss, grabbing her waist. “Love you, baby,” I say, nipping at her earlobe as I reposition her so she’s hiding the monster erection in my pants. She squirms on my lap, the little tease, grinning as she lays back against me.
“Fuck. You two are so hot together,” Kayla says, smiling in approval as she carefully places her son in his stroller, pulling up the cover to shield him from the sun.
“Don’t encourage that shit, Kayla. I’ve the worst case of blue balls this side of the Atlantic, and a live porn show will not help,” Gar grumbles.
“That’s what we get for living like monks since we moved out here,” Micah agrees, plonking himself down on the lounger the other side of Kayla. “I think it’s time we did something about that.” I’m guessing that means he’s just broken up with his latest girlfriend. I’d been wondering why Bella hadn’t come out to see him.
Gar reaches around, high-fiving him, and I roll my eyes when they both pointedly look at me.
“Just leave me and mine out of your plans, and you can do what the fuck you like.”
Zeta and I take a shower together later that evening in preparation for our dinner plans with Gage and Kayla. Scott and Linda kindly offered to babysit for them so the four of us could go out. Micah and Gar declined, saying they have more exciting plans, and I didn’t ask for details. I don’t miss that lifestyle, and I have no regrets that I’ve turned my back on it.
I move Zeta’s heavy, wet hair to one shoulder so I can suck on her neck, and I know I’m exactly where I want to be. Although, it’s getting harder and harder to stay celibate when all I want is to thrust my cock inside her and rock her into blissful oblivion.
I need to talk to her, and soon. I’m scared shitless that telling her the truth is going to result in me losing her forever. But keeping it secret, and having her find out at some later stage, is a sure-fire guarantee of losing her, so I need to be brave, and I need to have faith in her and just get it over and done with.
Monday, I silently promise, as my soapy hands roam her tempting body.
I’ll tell her everything I’ve been holding back on Monday.
CHAPTER 31
Zeta
“Things seem to be moving fast with Ryder,” Kayla says from across the table. Ryder has brought us to some top-end restaurant, sparing no expense for my friends. We’re seated at a cozy table in the far back, by the window, with magnificent views of the shoreline.
“They are,” I admit, taking a sip of my champagne, as I glance at the gorgeous charm bracelet on my wrist. Ryder gave it to me earlier, and I was all choked up as I examined each carefully chosen charm that represents our life together up to this point. “Do you think I should’ve made him work harder?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “What’s the point in playing games? You’re a grown woman, and you know your own heart and mind. You’ve spent long enough apart. Why prolong the agony? You love him. He loves you, and you both want to make it work.”
“Just because we both want it doesn’t mean it’ll work out, and we all know love isn’t always enough.”
“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” she whispers, peeking over at the guys, but they’re deep in conversation and paying us no attention.
“Definitely not, but I overheard something Gar was saying to Ryder earlier, and I’m worried about when we return to the city. Being out here is a bit like being in Narnia.” I bite down on my lip. “I’m worried the fantasy won’t last once we return to the real world.”
“We both know what the industry is like, and we’ve seen girlfriends and wives eaten alive by fans and in the media, but you know what to expect, and you have thick skin. You’ll get through it.”
She casts a quick glance at Ryder. “He’s crazy about you, Zeta. I’ve never seen this side of him before, and he’s really happy. You both are. It’s so easy to spot.” She reaches across, squeezing my hand. “I’m thrilled for you, and I have every faith you guys will make it work.”
We take a stroll by the promenade after dinner, hand in hand. Gage and Kayla are ahead of us, arms wrapped around one another as they walk. I lean over and peck Ryder on the lips. “Thanks so much for flying them out here. It was the best surprise.”
He smiles, pulling me into his side and slinging his arm around my shoulders. “I knew you missed her, and I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy. Deliriously happy.” I grin at him like the lovesick fool I am.
“Nice dress, by the way,” he adds, deliberately staring down the front of the red dress I bought when I was out shopping today.
I was completely taken aback, and a little uncomfortable, when he handed me a platinum credit card in my name and told me to spend whatever I wanted. “I’m glad you like it considering you paid for it,” I half-joke.
He stops walking, spinning me to face him. “Babe, please don’t let money come between us. You’re my girl, and I want to take care of you. Is that so wrong?”
I chew on the inside of my mouth. “No, I guess not, but I’m not used to it, and I don’t want you to think I’m with you for your money.” I shrug, my earlier conversation with Kayla coming back to me. “It’d probably seem more normal if I’d been in a relationship before.”
He tucks me back into his side, and we hurry to keep up with our friends. “I’m glad neither of us have had other relationships. This way we get to navigate the choppy waters together.” He winks, and it’s hard to stay mad at him for long.
“And thanks for agreeing to watch Gage’s band. You’ve no idea how excited he is,” I add.
“No problem. I can’t promise anything, but if the way he played this afternoon is any indication, it could end up working out great for both of us.” He tweaks my nose. “Thanks for the suggestion. See, we’re already a great team.”
I’ve still got a lopsided, sappy grin on my face as Mike drives us back to the house a short while later.
“What the actual fuck?” Ryder snaps, glaring out the window at the line of cars parked along his driveway. Thumping music and garish lights hit us as Mike pulls the car around the front of the house. “I am going to fucking kill Gar and Micah.”
“Oh no,” Kayla says. “I hope Lennon hasn’t woken up.”
“You can take the side entrance to the guesthouse,” Ryder says, not looking at either Kayla or Gage because he’s distracted by the noise coming from inside the house. Three topless girls wander around the side of the property from the pool area, smoking cigarettes and swirling beer as they giggle, swaying on their feet.
I kiss Kayla and Gage on the cheek. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.” We wave them off, and then Ryder takes my hand, following Mike into the house.
Half-empty bottles and cans litter the hallway as we walk toward the main living area. Music is blaring throughout the house, and the sights and sounds accosting my ears are making me ill. Sweat coasts down my spine and in the gap between my breasts, and my head spins. I clutch onto Ryder’s hand harder as we round the bend, almost barreling headfirst into a couple fucking against the wall.
“Get the fuck out of my house!” Ryder roars, grabbing the guy by the shoulders and yanking him off the girl. She starts mouthing off until she sees who ruined her fun and her facial expression changes so fast it’s comical. She reaches for Ryder, but Mike intervenes, stepping in front of Ryder and blocking him from view.
“Get your clothes and leave,” Mike tells them before shouting into his earpiece.
“Where the fuck are Danny and Marc?” Ryder demands, rounding on Mike. “You’re supposed to be in charge of security, and those assholes should never have let this happen.” While Mike is Ryder’s personal bodyguard, Danny and Marc also came with us from New York, and they fill in where needed as well as taking turns patrolling the house and the grounds at night. I’m not sure why it’s necessary because Ryder has a state-of-the-art security system installed with alarms, panic buttons, a panic room, and cameras all over the exterior of the property.
“Agreed, and I’ll deal with it.”
“I want them gone,” Ryder snaps. “Radio for replacements asap.”
Keeping hold of my hand, Ryder brings me through to the main living area, and it’s almost like stepping back in time. A cloud of noxious smoke hovers on top of the room, and my nostrils twitch at the scent of marijuana in the air. The room is littered with people, most of them in various states of undress. Bodies are draped over all the available surfaces, indulging in a variety of sexual acts. Booze, cigarettes, and mirrors with lines of coke cover the tabletops.
“Ryder!” A skinny redhead with mammoth fake tits waves her hands in the air at my boyfriend. “We came in from the city to surprise you!” She acts as if it’s completely normal to speak to him while she’s currently grinding on top of Gar’s cock. “You can take my ass again if you want.” She makes an obscene gesture with her hand and her tongue, and bile swims up my throat.
After a beautiful romantic night out, the last thing I wanted is such a visual reminder of Ryder’s old lifestyle and a flashback to my past. I send her a murderous look, wanting to bitch slap her so bad I could scream.
“Hey, Zeta.” Gar waggles his brows at me, licking his lips as his gaze roams my body in my tight-fitting red minidress. His eyes are rolling back in his head, and he can’t maintain eye focus. “You look fucking hot. Come sit on my face, baby, and I’ll show you a good time.”
My stomach churns sourly, and any warmth I was starting to feel toward him evaporates on the spot. He’s a fucking tool and the last person I want around Ryder. Ryder’s entire body exudes anger like it’s visibly seeping out of his pores. I grip his hand tight, flattening myself to his back, keeping him with me.
Micah winks at me as he pounds into a buxom blonde he has bent over the arm of the couch. She’s eating out a brunette who’s being ass-fucked reverse cowgirl style by some guy with dreads and nipple piercings.
My eyes scan the room, taking in all the debauchery, and I’m transported back in time. The sounds, sights, and surroundings are replaced, and I’m back in that ramshackle house in Garden Grove, being forced to watch as my mother is fucked every which way from Sunday. Ryder lets go of my hand, and I’m vaguely conscious of shouting. Memories assault me, and I stumble on my heels, falling to the floor, scurrying backward until my spine hits the wall. I pull my knees into my chest, shaking all over as fear and disgust swirl around me.
I can smell him—my stepfather—breathing on me with his whiskey fumes, eyeing me up with dollar signs in his eyes, and I feel numerous eyes leering over me and men brushing past and copping a sneaky feel when Bob isn’t watching.
“Don’t touch me!” I mumble, wrapping my arms around my legs in a feeble attempt to ward off my shivers.
Shouting and screaming pierces my eardrums, and I close my eyes, covering my ears with my hands, trying to drown it out.
Glass shatters, and there’s more yelling. Loud thuds startle me, and I’m sobbing, desperately trying to hold
myself together, my arms squeezing my torso, my nails digging into skin. A sharp pain stabs me in the foot, but I barely feel it. I’m shivering all over, praying to God to get me out of here, as tears silently cascade down my face.
The commotion seems to last forever. Then someone is crouched over me, and I scream, cowering back. “Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” Someone brushes their hand across my cheek, and I swat their hands away, screaming and shaking. “Leave me alone! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me.”
“What’s wrong with her?” I distantly hear someone ask.
“She’s having a flashback, you selfish motherfuckers! This is all your fault! Didn’t you listen to a word she told you about her past?!”
“Ryder?” I gulp, my senses slowly returning. “Ryder!” I scream, panic racing through my veins.
“Shush, baby. It’s me. I’m here.” Ryder’s warm breath fans my face. “Can you open your eyes for me, baby?”
I force my eyes open, blinking profusely before my gaze focuses on his concerned face. “Ryder!” I sob, throwing myself into his arms in grateful relief. He scoops me up, cradling me gently against his chest. “It’s okay, honey. I’ve got you. You’re safe.”
“Zeta, I’m really sorry, I—”
“Shut your fucking mouth, Micah. I don’t want to hear it,” Ryder snaps, interrupting him.
I glance over Ryder’s shoulder and gasp at the state of the living room. The people are gone, and the music is off, but the room is trashed. Furniture is strewn around the place, glass bottles are smashed and broken all over the beautiful hardwood floors, and cushions, throws, ornaments and picture frames are littered all over the space. “What happened?” I whisper.
“Your boyfriend went fucking psycho,” Gar snarls, struggling to stay upright.
I scrutinize his face with little remorse. His left eye is swollen, blood gushes out of his nose, and he has a split lip.
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