‘But if she’d been alive,’ Polly pointed out, ‘none of it would have happened. He’d have still been sitting at Broadhayes with her. I know that you used to like to do sketches of him but I doubt you’d have done all those drawings and stories.’
‘I suppose you’re right. 1 really got going as a sort of fight against Felicity. To help me not to give in. How odd life is.’
‘You’re so right,’ agreed Polly fervently. ‘Who’d have thought when 1 spoke to Marcus about you and Percy that one day he’d be launching me in a new career?’
‘How is he?’ asked Thea, drawing her knees up and facing Polly. ‘We communicate mostly by letter. It will be lovely to see him again.’ ‘He’s fine.’ Polly gazed reminiscently into the fire and Thea watched the colour creep into her cheeks. ‘He came down again a few weeks ago. He stayed at the Bedford and we went out to dinner. I felt a bit sorry for him, actually. He’s all on his own this Christmas. His mother’s going to friends and his son is abroad. He was quite philosophical about it but I felt a bit of a twinge. He’s been so good to me.’
‘And to me!’ cried Thea. ‘He mustn’t be on his own. He must come here. Why not?’ she asked as Polly gazed at her in amazement. ‘That’s what Christmas is all about, isn’t it? I’ll phone him up.’
‘But what about George?’ asked Polly as Thea leaped up from the sofa and hurried over to her little desk to find the address book.
‘Oh, George won’t mind. The more the merrier, he’d say. His mother’s coming for Christmas lunch, so it will be a real old-fashioned gathering. I wish m ν father could come but Christmas is such a busy time for him. I’m going to telephone.’
She whisked out of the door and Polly remained staring at the flames, excitement building in her breast. She was getting used to how very pleased she always felt when she saw Marcus and the thought of spending a few days with him under the same roof filled her with a special kind of joy. In a moment Thea was back.
‘He was thrilled to bits,’ she announced, sinking down again beside Polly. ‘Isn’t that nice? He says that he’s going to dash round and do some Christmas shopping in the morning and then drive down. He’ll probably be quite late but he’ll be in time for Christmas Eve. He can help decorate the tree. I can’t wait to see the children’s faces! Oh, Polly! It’s going to be such fun!’
The next day there was more excitement. Tim telephoned to say that Miranda had gone into labour and he had taken her into the nursing home. He and David were waiting it out together. Thea immediately suggested that Tim and David should come to Christmas lunch.
‘Do come,’ she begged. ‘If Miranda doesn’t mind. Just come to eat. You can visit her before and afterwards. Anyway, by then she’ll probably have had the baby and you can relax. Stay in touch.’
The telephone rang again later when they were sitting round the fire having tea. Tim was almost incoherent with joy and relief. Miranda had been delivered of a big healthy boy and they were both doing well.
Thea, who had gone into the kitchen to take the call, burst into tears. ‘Now the girls have got a second cousin,’ she cried. Oh, Tim. They’ll all be friends just as we were. If only G.A. were here. If only she could have seen them all. Now you will come to lunch, won’t you? Promise. It’ll be so special. And we’ll have lots of things for you to take back to Miranda. You will? Oh, bless you. Love to David. How does he like being a grandfather? Tell him we’re looking forward to seeing him. Love to Miranda.’
She replaced the receiver and wept in earnest and Polly, who had slipped out behind her, put her arms round her.
‘I’m happy really,’ Thea sobbed whilst Percy eyed her from his cage. ‘It’s just I keep thinking about G.A. and all that she’s missing.’
‘Jesus wept!’ exclaimed Polly. ‘And after all the things you used to say to me! I’m ashamed of you!’ She hugged Thea tightly. ‘You know very well that she can see all that’s going on and that she’s with you all the time.’
Thea raised her head and stared into Polly’s eyes. ‘But you don’t believe that,’ she said, swallowing hard.
‘How do you know?’ countered Polly. ‘Anyway, you do! You were always telling me things like that and reciting the collect for the ninety-seventh Sunday after Lent or something.’
Oh, Polly. What a prig you make me sound.’
‘Not a bit. It was all good stuff. I’ve tried it a bit myself. Jolly comforting and uplifting it is, too. But I wasn’t brought up to it like you were. Stop crying, you daft old besom, and get the booze out.’
‘Now I feel like I’m home,’ said a voice from the doorway. ‘Women weeping and talking about booze. Story of my life.’
‘What signifies the life o’ man,’ began Percy, perking up a little, ‘an’ ‘twere not for the lasses O.’
‘My dear old bird, you never spoke a truer word,’ said Marcus and held out his arms to the girls.
CHRISTMAS DAY DAWNED BRIGHT and clear. Amelia, who was just old enough to remember Father Christmas, woke early although Julia slumbered peacefully on and woke at the usual time to open surprised eyes upon a world of presents, wrapping paper, chattering adults and decorations. Thea and George went to church with Esme and Amelia, leaving Polly and Marcus in charge of Julia and the turkey, and arrived back as Tim and David turned up.
George was in his natural element as host: filling glasses, settling his mother by the fire with Julia on her lap, showing his pride in Thea’s achievements and his adoration of his pretty daughters. Jessie sashayed to and fro getting in everyone’s way and Percy worked through nearly his whole repertoire. Tim hugged Polly and they beamed at each other with the relief of those who know that they have been rescued from making a terrible mistake. And Marcus kissed Polly under the mistletoe in a way that made her come over all hot and trembly and mutter something about helping Thea. Thea, used now to entertaining, took it all in her stride and presided over the day with a confidence and joy that would have gladdened Hermione’s heart.
Only David was a little restless and after lunch he took Tim aside and told him that he would like to pop out for an hour or so to see a friend. Tim, made expansive with fatherhood, had no objection so long as he was back in time for evening visiting at the hospital and David let himself out into the quiet frosty stillness of the winter afternoon. He remembered the journey quite well and turned into Kate’s gateway moments after she had returned from Christmas lunch with Cass and Tom. She was still on the doorstep and her eyes widened with surprise and then pleasure as she recognised him.
‘How nice,’ she said as she opened the door and a large golden retriever came out to meet them. ‘This is Felix. He’s quite harmless. Are you staying with your daughter for Christmas?’
‘She was delivered of a baby boy two days ago.’ David followed her into the house. ‘Tim and I have come over to have our Christmas lunch with Thea and George but we’ve got to be back for evening visiting. I wanted to see you. To say Happy Christmas to you.’
‘How nice,’ repeated Kate, hanging up her coat. ‘And thank you for that quite beautiful card. I shall have it framed so that I have two famous Porteous watercolours. I wonder that you have such a feeling for the moor and you a townie.’
‘Even townies are capable of experiencing beauty. Are you all alone? Where are your boys?’
Kate let Felix out of the kitchen door into the garden and leaned back against the Rayburn. She wore a long soft dress in an unusual blue colour that made her eyes look dark.
‘Giles is with his girlfriend upcountry and Guy is in Canada.’
‘Canada.’ David raised his eyebrows, undeceived by the light, brittle tone. ‘That’s a long way to go for Christmas. I thought you said that he runs a yacht brokerage in Dartmouth.’
‘He does.’ Kate was silent for a moment. ‘His father lives in Canada,’ she said at last. ‘I think I told you that when we talked about Felicity. He invited them out. Just suddenly out of the blue. None of us had heard from him for eight or nine years. Giles wouldn’
t go but Guy decided that he would like to make friends with him again.’
‘That must have hurt. To leave you alone at Christmas to be with a man who deserted him as a child.’
Kate looked at him. ‘I knew that I was telling you too much that evening,’ she said. ‘And you guessed at far more than I told you. Yes, it hurts. It hurts that Guy was prepared to leave me alone for Mark. And Mark will know it and I hate the thought of the pleasure that it will give him.’ She stared at David, daring him to sympathise. ‘My brother is abroad and even Giles chose to be with his girlfriend’s family rather than come home. Although they did invite me to go, too. Felicity warned me that I had given Alex up for nothing, that the twins would grow up and leave me, and she was right. But it was too late.’
‘Have you been on your own all day?’
‘No, no. I had lunch with Cass and Tom. I told you about Cass. I don’t know what I would have done without her. But you can’t live your whole life through other people and their lives, however close you are to them. Let’s not talk about it. How nice of you to come. I wish I’d known. I’ve nothing special to give you.’
‘I came to thank you and to tell you that you changed my life that day,’ said David, moved by her loneliness and the dignified attempt to hide it. ‘I wanted to ask if you ever come to London and if I could take you to a theatre or the ballet? Or a concert? I should like it so much.’
Kate laughed and shook her head. ‘London!’ she said and made big eyes at him. ‘Heavens! I haven’t been to London for years and years. And I couldn’t leave Felix. But thank you.’
‘Oh, please!’ David was taken aback by the depth of his disappointment. ‘I do so want us to be friends, d’you see? Please won’t you think about it? Surely someone could look after your dog? What about Cass? Or bring him with you. I’m sure we’d manage.’
Kate looked surprised at his insistence. ‘I’m not really a London person, you see,’ she explained. ‘I find cities so claustrophobic. And I don’t have the clothes for it.’
‘Then buy some. I really will not take no for an answer.’
‘Goodness.’ Kate chuckled a little. ‘That sounds terribly fierce.’
‘Please.’ David held out both his hands and his face was quite serious. ‘You have made life worthwhile again for me. Let me feel that there is something that I can do in return. You’ve just said that you don’t want to live your life vicariously through others. Perhaps it’s time for you to take your shoes off again.’
The laughter died out of Kate’s eyes and, after a moment, she placed her hands in his.
‘I can still feel the scars from the glass.’ Her face was sombre. ‘This Christmas seems to have opened them up again.’
‘Oh, my dear.’ David drew her gently towards him.
For a moment she resisted him and then gave in and allowed herself to be encircled in his arms. She rested her forehead against his shoulder and they stood thus for some moments in silence. Presently he put his fingers beneath her chin and tipped her face to his. Her eyes were big with fright but when he kissed her her lips opened beneath his and he held her more closely. When they drew apart she was trembling and he smiled at her reassuringly.
‘I’ve thought of you constantly,’ he said. ‘Did you ever think of me?’
She nodded and he bent to kiss her again.
‘I wanted the time to be right, d’you see? It was very important that this is you and me and nothing to do with anyone else. I didn’t mean it to be quite so soon. I wanted to give you time to get used to the idea.’ He moved his lips against her hair and strained her against him suddenly. ‘Is it what you want, Kate? Or have I got it all wrong?’
He felt her shake her head against his shoulder and was filled with a wild unreasoning joy. He kissed her again then and felt her trembling joining with his own. Suddenly she broke away and went before him, leading him up the stairs and into her bedroom. She shut the door and stood looking at him. He guessed what it must have cost her to bring him here and, catching her to him, he took her to the bed and began to undress her. She stood shivering violently and he rolled her into the quilt, hesitating only to drag off his own clothes. Slowly, sweetly, he began to make love to her, gentling her into relaxation and stroking and kissing her into passion. She cried out when he entered her and her cries grew louder as they moved together until, after one great cry of triumph, release and pleasure, she subsided in a storm of weeping and he continued to hold her in his arms whilst the short winter afternoon faded into evening.
Thirty-seven
THEA AND THE CHILDREN remained at the Old Station House when George returned to Brussels for the last six weeks of his appointment. She saw no reason to expose Amelia and Julia to more upheaval and George agreed with her. So it was that Thea took up the reins of her own household once more and Polly was free to go to London. Now that it had come to it she was smitten with terror. It was one thing to plan a career from the safety of the Old Station House with Percy and Jessie at hand and Maggie to be impressed by it and quite another to step out, leaving its protection behind her, to wrestle with the world.
‘But you’ll have Marcus,’ Thea pointed out when she realised that Polly was panicking.
‘Mmm,’ said Polly, to whom Marcus presented as much of a challenge as her new career.
She spent a few days packing or pretending to, played with the two little girls and wandered up and down the track with Jessie, and still she postponed the actual day of going. At last Thea took things into her own hands and telephoned Marcus when Polly was out shopping.
‘She’s got cold feet,’ she explained. ‘I know that she doesn’t need to be there full-time yet and she could always come if you wanted her for something but the longer she stays the harder it will be for her to leave us. Her divorce has come through and I think she’s desperately clinging to the shreds of her old life. We’re all the family she’s got now. Poor Polly. I don’t want her to go either but now that I’m back she’s at a loose end and it’s not good for her.’
‘Say no more,’ said Marcus. ‘Everything’s ready for her up here. I’ll come and get her. Don’t warn her, though. She may find some good reason for hanging on.’
So it was that Polly returned one morning from a shopping trip to Tavistock to see Marcus’s car parked on the tarmac. Her heart began to bump and hop and she hurried in to find him sitting with Thea in the kitchen, chatting comfortably.
‘We had some business to discuss,’ he said, rising to greet her and kissing her lightly on the cheek. ‘So I thought that I’d kill two birds with one stone and fetch you at the same time.’
‘Oh.’ Polly was nonplussed. ‘But I’m not ready. I didn’t realise . . .’ She looked piteously at Thea who, feeling an utter traitor, hardened her heart.
‘I’m sure it won’t take you long to finish off,’ she said encouragingly. ‘Doesn’t matter if you can’t get it all in or you forget something. After all, you’ll have to come back to pick up your car, won’t you? We’ll load Marcus’s car up this time and yours next time.’ She glanced at Marcus.
‘That’s an excellent idea,’ he agreed promptly. ‘Just chuck it all in. You won’t need your car to begin with. You start recording in a few weeks, you know, so there’s lots to go through. Might as well make a start. I expect Thea will have you back for the weekend now and then.’
He winked at Polly and smiled and she felt a great surging mixture of love, excitement and terror. Thea got up from the table. ‘If you’ve finished with me, I’ll just go and check on the girls,’ she said. ‘It all sounds too quiet for my liking.’
She slipped out and Polly was left with Marcus, who continued to lean against the dresser, ankles crossed, his hands in his pockets.
‘Best get it over with,’ he said gently. ‘Partings and new beginnings are always painful and frightening. No point in dragging it out. I know how much you’ll miss them all but you’ll be very busy and I shan’t be far away, if you need me. If that’s any comfort.’
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br /> He watched her for a moment and presently she smiled and nodded. ‘You’re right, of course,’ she said but still she stood, rooted to the spot.
‘Naturally,’ said Marcus, trying for a lighter note and wishing that he could take her in his arms, ‘I know that I’m no substitute for Percy. Or Jessie, come to that.’ He sighed heavily. ‘It’s the devil of a job, competing with a parrot.’
‘The Devil, having nothing else to do,’ said Percy, who had hitherto remained silent, ‘went off to tempt my Lady Poltagrue. My Lady, tempted by a private whim, to his extreme annoyance, tempted him.’
‘If that damned bird wasn’t making all our fortunes,’ observed Marcus, while Polly went into fits of laughter, ‘I’d wring his bloody neck. Off with you, wench! Go and get that packing done.’
As they raced up the motorway towards London, Polly watched Marcus out of the sides of her eyes. She looked at the long-fingered hands on the wheel, observed his long legs, the right knee casually relaxed towards his door, and experienced all the sensations that had been missing in her relationships with Freddie and Paul. As she lifted her eyes to his profile, he glanced at her. Their eyes met and instantly she felt as though she had been plunged in scalding water. She felt the scarlet blood suffuse her skin and stared blindly at the road ahead. Marcus was silent but imperceptibly the quality of the silence changed and became charged with emotion.
‘When we get home,’ he said at last, ‘you will go upstairs into your flat and you will stay there. We will meet to discuss your contract and work and we’ll go to the pub round the corner to eat in the evening, if you feel like it. But for one week you will reflect on the fact that I am eighteen years older than you are, that I have a grownup son and a failed marriage behind me. I’m a workaholic and a slavedriver and I know that business and pleasure don’t mix. If, having thought about all those things, you open that interconnecting door and come downstairs for any other reason than the above stated, you might get more than you bargain for.’
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