But it seemed like another lifetime in which he’d said that to me. And… truthfully, what he was saying back there, it hadn’t been enough, even if it had been a bit flattering.
And it was like I said before. Pain is pain.
Pain blotted that kind of stuff out. And whatever Reign was going through, she was going to need her brother to be there to help her work through it. She would be his priority.
I understood that.
I had a sister too.
But it was too late to go back to the rehab center and see Gina. Visiting hours were over.
I’d just go home, maybe have a Corona, maybe watch some TV.
All in all, I was glad it was over. The thing about Naelen Spencer was that he was kind of exhausting. I could stand to relax a little.
But when I got back to my place, there was no Corona in the refrigerator.
I debated going out to the corner store and picking up a six pack.
But if I did that, I was going to have to take the night bus again, and then I’d be stuck at the store for another forty-five minutes, because that’s how long it would take for another bus to come. Nah, it was better if I just went to Happy Harry’s.
When I arrived there, the jukebox was playing TLC’s “Waterfalls” and I could see that Juniper was grinding on Howard Carr back by the arcade games. There was a four-foot-square area there that passed as a dance floor. I sat down at the bar.
The bartender looked up at me. “The usual, Clarke?”
I nodded.
He set the Corona in front of me.
I pushed the lime down inside the bottle. Slowly. Slowly. It wouldn’t do to get a foam explosion. With the lime in place, I took my first sip. It was cool and refreshing and just a tad tart. The way I liked it.
I sighed, looking around at the bar.
Good to be home.
I stayed for two beers. After the second one, Happy Harry’s was winding down. They even pumped Semisonic’s “Closing Time” over the speakers, which was a sure sign to get the hell out of dodge. I was feeling pleasantly buzzed, but just a little lonely. I realized that I was used to having Naelen around.
It was odd. I had spent years on my own. Drinking by myself in a bar was a way of life for me. But after a week or so with some company, I got spoiled.
I sat down to wait for the bus on the designated bench, feeling sorry for myself.
Maybe tomorrow, I’d hear something on the scanner about a rogue, and I’d go out and kill some monsters. That sounded satisfying.
I shut my eyes.
I listened to the noise of the cars going by on the road. I waited for the sound of the bus pulling up.
Time passed.
Cars whooshed by. I was starting to feel a little sleepy, but I was feeling peaceful. It was good to be back in my own city, good to be back on my own. Maybe I’d forgotten what it felt like, but with every passing second, it was starting to feel better to me. This was where I belonged. This was who I was.
And then I heard the sound of a vehicle pulling up, but it didn’t quite sound like the bus. It sounded smaller and quieter.
I opened my eyes.
There was a shiny black car idling on the curb in front of me. The back door opened and there was Naelen.
“What the hell, Clarke?” he said.
I squinted at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I didn’t know where you were. I thought that maybe Cunningham followed us back home and he nabbed you or something. I’ve been all over, trying to find you.”
I straightened. “I didn’t mean to worry you. I just decided to go home.”
“I went to your apartment.”
“Well, I wanted a beer, so…”
“Get in the car,” he said, glaring at me.
I got in the car.
He got in after me and pulled the door closed.
“Look, I’m sorry,” I said.
He sighed. “I’m glad you’re all right.”
“Just take me home, I guess. You probably need to get back to your sister.”
“She’s sleeping,” he said. “But, uh, yeah, I guess it would be good if I was there when she woke up.” He leaned forward to talk to his driver.
The car took off.
I looked out my window as we drove back to my apartment. Weird that he’d been looking for me, wasn’t it? He should know that I could take care of myself. I turned to look at him.
But he was looking out the other window.
So, I looked away.
Eventually, we reached my apartment.
The car pulled to a park.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said, opening the door.
“No problem,” he said.
I swung my leg out of the car and put it on the ground.
“Clarke?”
“Yeah?” I turned to look at him.
“You, uh, you still have all the objects. We have to figure out what to do with them. Because they shouldn’t all be in one place.”
“Oh, of course,” I said. “Do you want to figure that out now?”
“No,” he said. “We can do that maybe tomorrow sometime, I guess. Or even later in the week.”
“Okay,” I said. “Cool. Call me, I guess?”
“Yep.” He smiled. “Be safe. Have a good night.”
“You too.” I got out of the car and shut the door. I walked around the car and headed up the sidewalk towards my apartment. I was going to get into my pajamas and crawl into bed. I was really tired.
When I got to my apartment, I used my key to let myself in.
“Clarke!”
I turned, holding the door open.
Naelen was coming down the hallway toward me.
I stopped. Waited.
He hurried down the hallway, coming straight for me.
I watched him, my pulse starting to thrum beneath my skin.
He reached me. Stopped. Gazed into my eyes.
I swallowed.
And then he was kissing me. His mouth was hot and hungry on mine, like he was devouring me, like he was searing himself onto me. We tumbled back into my apartment.
He shut the door and pressed me back into it, still kissing me.
I got my mouth free, gasping. “What are you doing?”
He kissed my forehead. My temple. “I told you before that we were going to continue that conversation.”
I groaned. “Stop it, Naelen. I am tipsy and exhausted, and I haven’t got it in me to say no to you tonight.”
He grinned. “Then don’t say no.” He started to kiss my neck.
Thrills went through me. For several moments, I did nothing. I let his lips move on me, let him coax my body to awaken. It felt good.
He thrust his hands beneath my shirt, his fingers warm on my bare skin.
I huffed. “Naelen, just—please—wait.”
He sighed heavily, his fingers retreating. “What is it? I thought you weren’t saying no.”
I put both of my hands on his chest and pushed.
He stepped backwards, but because he chose to, not because I was really strong enough to force him.
Still, it was good that he moved. I shut my eyes and opened them, trying to clear my head. I was still feeling the remnants of his kisses, his touch. “How would this work?”
“What?” he said. “I already told you. I’ll give up the other women. It’ll only be you.”
“Okay,” I said, swallowing.
“Clarke, why are we still talking? We’ve been putting this off for far too long. I’m developing an obsession with taking you to bed. Can we please start removing your clothes?”
His words went through me like dark liquor, burning a line to my most secret places. I wanted to let him. He aroused me. He was very, very attractive. Right then, he had this desperate look in his blue eyes, and having him glare at me in that greedy way was heady. I struggled for breath.
“Or are you feeling shy?” he whispered. “Should I take off mine?” He moved to pull off his shir
t.
“Wait,” I said, stopping him.
“For what? Why are we waiting?”
“You said that you’re giving up the other women, but that sounds… I don’t know. I don’t think I want you to feel as if you’re giving something up. I want to be enough for you.”
“You are. You will be. Making love to you is all I think about.”
“So, it’s about… sex?”
“Hell, yes, it’s about sex. Hot, raw, sweaty sex, which I should be having with you at this very moment. Can we please stop talking?”
“It’s only…” I shook my head. “I want you to want me, not just what’s between my legs.”
He squinted. “How do you mean?”
“You don’t understand that?”
He took a step backwards, rubbing the back of his neck and studying his shoes. He looked as though he was thinking very hard. “If you mean that you’re worried that there won’t be enough foreplay, because the only area of your body I’ll concentrate on—”
“No.” Although now I was picturing him “concentrating” on that area of my body, and it was making it hard to stand still.
“No?”
I shook my head.
He groaned. “You bewilder me. I’m bewildered.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Listen, this isn’t going to happen.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Oh, it’s going to happen.”
I sagged against the door. “No, it won’t. Because you’ll go your way, and I’ll go mine, and we won’t see each other anymore, and you’ll forget all about me.”
He sunk both hands into his hair. “Forget about you? Not likely.”
I felt tired deep in my bones. “You should go.”
“Maybe we should hunt down Cunningham together,” said Naelen.
“What?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Being out there on the road with you, fighting monsters… well, that felt right somehow. It felt good to help all those girls.”
“You’re that desperate to go to bed with me?”
“I’m serious,” he said. “Saving people? It’s a little addicting, and I have nothing better to do. I’ll hire you again.”
“I’ll say no,” I said.
He laughed. “No, you won’t.”
I shut my eyes and drew in a long breath, feeling defeated. “Okay, maybe I’ll say yes.”
He grinned.
I put a finger in his face. “But you have to promise to stop this. You and I are not going to have sex.”
His lips curved into a smile. “We are most definitely going to have sex. It’s a question of when, that’s all. You want this, but you’re torturing yourself for some reason, denying yourself what you want.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.” His blue eyes flashed.
Maybe I was torturing myself. But it was only because I was trying to save myself from heartache down the road. If he made me this much of a wreck from a few kisses and caresses, anything more would destroy me.
“You can only hold off for so long,” he said in a low, liquid voice.
I choked. “Get out of my apartment. Now.”
He opened the door. “I’m leaving. But I’ll be in touch.” He blew me a kiss. Then he was gone.
I stared after him. Damn him. Damn him to hell.
* * *
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Smoke (The Slayer Chronicles Book 1) Page 23