by CL Rowell
**
After breakfast, it was decided that I’d ride with Jessie in his rental car, and Leo would ride with Lucy in her car. The return trip back home seemed to fly by, in comparison to the trip down. Maybe it was the lead foot on my driver, but I had a sneaking suspicion that a large part of it was nerves, too. The closer we got, the quieter I got, and any illusions that I was hiding it well were busted when he reached over and squeezed my hand.
“You okay?”
I glanced at him, admiring his profile. “I’m fine.”
“You sure? You’ve gotten awfully quiet.”
“I’m a little nervous,” I admitted, my eyes on our hands, intertwined so naturally. “I’ve been waiting for this day five and a half years.”
“Five and a half? I thought he was four?”
“He is.” I laughed at him, “But he rearranged my insides with his kicks through most of my pregnancy, and I always wondered if his dad’s voice, singing to him, would calm him down. Also, July will be here before you know it, and he will be five.”
His brows met over his eyes. “I’ve missed so much. I’d have loved to see you pregnant with our child—who’s almost five already. I never got to see him learning to crawl or walk or sit. I missed his first words.”
“You never got peed on or threw up on or had to change a dirty diaper.”
He glanced at me. “Are you trying to make me feel better?”
“Did it help?”
He laughed. “Yeah, a little.”
“Good.” With a happy grin, I directed him to my house, and had him park beside my car so there would be room for Lucy. As we climbed out, my mom’s screen door flew open, and a tiny bullet shot across the yard in our direction.
“Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, you’re home!” I knelt just in time to catch him as he flew into my arms. “I missed you so much. Grandma didn’t know when you’d be home. Whose car is this? Who is that guy in the car with Aunt Lucy?” He paused for breath and looked up. “Are you my daddy? Cuz you look like the picture in Mommy’s room, and she says that’s a picture of my daddy, and you have eyes like him. I have eyes like him, too, so that means your eyes are like mine. Are you my daddy?”
The silence was unnerving. I wasn’t sure what to think or feel as I watched Jessie kneel down to our son’s level. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and his voice sounded strangled, as he nodded. “Yes, I am your daddy.”
James reached out and patted his cheek, concern in his eyes. “Are you going to cry? Because you look like you’re going to cry. It’s okay if you do cry. My mommy says even big boys cry sometimes. Are you sad? Is that why you look like you’re going to cry? Mommy, is he going to cry? Why is he sad?”
“I don’t think he’s sad, honey.” I rubbed his back, soothing him. “It might be happy tears.”
“Happy tears?” He studied Jessie, then touched a tear that welled up to track down his face. “Are you sure?”
“Ask him.”
His face ready to crumple up in sympathy tears if necessary, he whispered, “Are you crying happy tears or sad tears?”
Jessie smiled and said, “Happy tears.”
“But…why?”
“Because I’m finally meeting you, and that makes me really happy.”
James’ eyes widened. “It does? Wait til I tell Tommy Tyler! He said I didn’t have a daddy cuz I’m too mean.”
“Your daddy was mean, too, when he was a little guy like you.”
James spun around and looked over my shoulder. “Hi, I’m James. Who are you?”
“I’m your Uncle Leo…your daddy’s brother.”
“I have an uncle? Cool!” He was bouncing on his toes. Taking off, he ran toward my mother’s house. “Grandma, Grandma, you won’t believe it!”
“Believe what?” She caught him, from her seat on the steps leading up to the small porch, and snuggled him close.
“I have a Daddy and an uncle, now.”
“Really?” She raised her brows, impressed. Lowering her voice, she mock-whispered, “You know what else you might have?”
“What?” He leaned in closer.
“Another grandma…”
“But…she won’t make me choose, will she?” His little lip extended in a quivering pout, “Cuz I love you and I don’t want to trade you in like a car. I wanna keep you forever and ever, amen.”
“Someone’s been hanging around Mom’s church friends,” I teased. Then, more serious, I said, “Mom, this is Jessie, who you’ve heard so much about.”
“Pleased to meet you.” She nodded, a twinkle in her eye. “I almost feel like I know you, with your miniature running around underfoot.”
“Mom!” I blushed, sneaking a look at his pink cheeks, “You’ll embarrass him.” Then I backed up a step, to include Leo and Lucy, “And this is his brother, Leo. He’s the drummer in their band.”
“Pleased to meet you, ma’am,” they both murmured, ducking their heads.
“Impressive.” She clapped her hands, “It’s a pleasure to meet you both. Will we be seeing more of you around here?” Her glance bounce back and forth between Leo and Lucy, and me and Jessie. “Or will I be seeing less of these three?”
“Mom—“ I narrowed my eyes at her.
She widened hers, looking innocent. “What? Was it something I said?”
“You know what you’re doing. No guilt tripping the guys. They have their lives mapped out.”
“So do you.”
“Yes.” I deliberately avoided looking at Jessie and the others, “But, if it came down to a choice between Jessie and my job—I’d homeschool James and choose Jessie, in a heartbeat.”
A hand tangled with mine, and I looked up. It was Jessie. The love shining in his eyes took my breath away.
“Do you mean that, even after—“ I nodded, blinking back the sting of tears, and he continued, “How did I ever get so lucky as to deserve you? I thought the day I got pulled over, heading into the tiny town of Robeline, was the worst day of my life. Doors had been slamming all around me, and then I was coerced into playing a freebie show in a tiny rundown bar in the middle of nowhere—but that’s where I found you, and my life has been on an upswing ever since. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know one thing, for sure—as long as you and James are in my life, I’ll be content. I’m never letting go of you.”
“Better be careful.” I bit my lip, squeezing his hand tight, “I might hold you to that.”
“You’d better hold me to it.” He pulled me closer. “I meant every word.”
The End