"No!" Now it's my turn to cut him off. "Please don't. Mr. Ward. That will only make this worse. My mind is made up, sir. I need to step away from this role—for Elle. Whether or not she’ll speak to me again, I don’t know. But I do know that I need her to understand that my feelings for her had nothing to do with this role, or anything to do with this business."
"Don't jump to any decisions just—"
"It's final," I say, my voice sharp. "I can’t accept your offer. Thank you for the opportunity to audition, and I know you'll find someone equally as talented to fill this role." I feel ill as I say these words to him. This is a dream role, one I've wanted all my life—but it isn’t worth it if Elle thinks I used her. "I wish you the best, Mr. Ward, and I hope that someday I'll get the opportunity to work with you, but now is not that time."
An awkward silence fills the phone line, and I can hear him shuffling around.
"Understood." Is all he says in response. "I wish you well, Kas." And with that the line goes dead. Before Dom has a chance to call me, I send him a short text.
Me: Ward offered me the role. I declined.
He responds immediately.
Dominic: You did what? Call me now.
At the sight of his response, I power down my phone and throw it across the room where it lands next to my damn car keys. I lie on the couch and swallow the bitter taste of defeat. I've lost everything—and by everything, I mean Elle.
Twenty-Four
Elle
Sitting at my desk in my office, I typed furiously at my laptop. Rays of light streaked through the window that overlooks the city. My view here was almost as good as the one in my condo. Both my corner office and my job were something I was incredibly proud of. Something that was one hundred percent me and my hard work.
Well, that and the encouragement and support my parents had always given me.
But this? My position? I’d achieved this without anyone knowing my father’s name. Without associating me with the man who had so much influence over the sprawling city that rested below my apartment.
Working hard and achieving my own personal dreams would always be so incredibly important to me. I cherished my job. I always would. I was proud of it, and I was proud of myself.
But sitting there, the stark reality finally settled all the way to my bones.
Success could never be a replacement for love.
Because I could feel the loss of it all the way to my spirit. A vacancy that glowed inside me. Reminding me how far I’d closed myself off from the rest of the world. And once I’d opened those doors, made myself vulnerable, I could no longer shove all those feelings into the back of a closet to be forgotten like waste.
I pushed out a heavy sigh, squinting my eyes as I focused on rereading the marketing proposal I was working on and not the pain lancinating through my being.
Because I was lonely.
Hurt.
And there was nothing I could do to escape Kassius Cowen. He was everywhere. On billboards and ads, not to mention on the tongue of my assistant who had been in my office twenty minutes ago, waving her People magazine in the air and babbling on about the hot new actor who was rumored to be starring in Roger Ward’s next movie.
Fuck my life.
My father had tried to call me at least fifteen times in the last two days. I’d ignored his calls. I just couldn’t bear to talk to him about Kas. I didn’t want him to apologize or explain or reason why he’d had to offer the role to him.
I got it.
Kas was beautiful.
Talented.
A super-star waiting to shine.
The only part of that I couldn’t handle was that he’d used me to shoot himself into that stratosphere. That he’d left me behind as he’d shined.
The funny thing was, I loved him so much that there was a really stupid part of me that was happy for him.
Seriously, how fucked up was that?
I pounded on the keys a little harder as if I could beat some of the hurt and frustration out on the computer, ignoring the rumble in my stomach that churned with a sickness that threatened to take me whole.
A light tapping sounded outside my open door. “I’m busy, Clarissa,” I said without looking up from my computer.
I just couldn’t handle her running in with more details about her newest Hollywood crush.
Crush was right.
That was what I was.
Crushed.
“Too busy for everyone these days, I see.”
My father’s voice had my fingers freezing on my keyboard and my head flying up, tears immediately coming to my eyes. There was no holding them back any longer. Not when my daddy was standing there in the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets, looking over at me with so much sympathy and love.
I sat back in my chair, muscles slackened with hopelessness, tears streaking down my face.
“Oh, Elle, sweetheart.” He stepped in and moved across my office, rounding my desk, and dropping to a knee in front of me.
That was when I broke. I threw my arms around his neck and let myself weep. His strong arms wrapped around me as he let me cry, gentle words coming from his mouth. The same way as he’d always done when I’d been a little girl, the man filling me with encouragement and belief and promises that everything would be just fine.
Fiercely, I shook my head where my face was buried in his neck. “No, Daddy. It isn’t going to be okay. I don’t know how I’m going to recover from this one. It hurts too bad.”
My shoulders shook with my sobs, and I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stop.
He sighed a sound of affection and leaned back so he could look at me. “Don’t tell me you aren’t returning my calls because of this Kas boy?” There was almost a tease to his voice.
Nodding, I swiped angrily at my tears. “I can’t believe I fell for it again.”
Knowing eyes moved over my face. “You’ve always been incredibly independent.”
I blinked at him, not sure what he meant. “That’s how you raised me to be. You and mom instilled in me that I could be anyone I wanted to be. That I could always take care of myself.”
“And you can. You are so strong. But in the middle of that, I hope you know it’s okay to let other people into your life, too. I don’t know where I would be without your mother in my life. I know I wouldn’t be the man I am now without her. It doesn’t matter how hard I worked. She’s always helped keep me grounded. Centered. She showed me the kind of man I wanted to be, because God knows, our judgment can get clouded in this world.”
“I think I just keep letting in all the wrong people. God . . .” I looked away, studying a scrap piece of paper on my desk before I finally gathered my courage and looked back at him. “How do we know who to trust, Daddy? I feel like everyone I come into contact with is either judging me or figuring out how they can benefit from me. I hate that feeling . . . like I’m being used every time I turn around. How do you handle it?”
He played with a piece of hair that had fallen free of my twist. “I do my best to surround myself with people who have proven themselves to me. Your mother, most of all. You. Carl and his family. Then . . . the only thing I can do is trust my gut. Listen to my heart. Pay attention. Intentions may not make themselves known right at the start, but they always reveal themselves in the end. I’m vigilant of that. People prove themselves one way or another—trustworthy or dishonest. We just have to make sure we look deep enough to see who people are inside.”
Hurt and love billowed through me. Because I’d thought I had. I’d truly believed in Kas. I’d thought he’d proven that he loved me. That look in his eye and the tenderness in his touch.
I’d been so sure.
Maybe it was my own stupid heart that was lying to me.
My dad looked away for a beat, gathering what to say before he looked back at me. “Who did you see when you looked at Kas, Elle?”
Through bleary eyes, I blinked at him. “Honestly? I thought I’d found the
man I was going to spend my life with. The one I was going to share my family with.”
He gave a slight nod. “Your gut told you? Your heart told you?”
I nodded, unable to speak.
My father patted my knee. “That’s good then, because I’m pretty sure Kassius Cowen is the man you believed him to be.”
“No, he isn’t, Daddy. He used me to get to you,” I wheezed, a hiccup of a cry working its way free around the thickness.
He eyed me. “Are you sure about that?”
“He got that big role. He’s going to be a star, your name behind him, just like Christopher.”
My father rocked back onto his heels, slowly standing, shaking his head as he did. He stared down at me with sympathy and love. “Kas is incredibly talented, and he’s bound to make it big in this city. There is no question about that. But he isn’t anything like Christopher, Elle.”
I stared up at my father. “What do you mean?”
A grin threatened at the corner of his mouth. “I called him and offered him the role. He deserved it. Of every single actor who read, he was the best. Hands down.”
Love and pride moved through me. God. What was wrong with me? I was actually proud when my father said those words, hopeful for the man who had broken me. I guessed I really was a masochist.
I swallowed down all the hurt and tried to be mature. This was my father’s business, after all. “I hope that movie is a huge success, Daddy. Honestly, I do. But I don’t think I can handle hearing the details.” I pressed my hand to my aching chest. “It just hurts too bad.”
His lips pursed. “I’m not sure it’s going to turn out all that great. Not when the person meant for the role turned it down.”
Confusion blistered across my skin, and I could feel the frown pulling at my brow. “What do you mean?”
My dad shoved his hands into his pocket. “Kas was offered the part. He turned it down.”
Shock blasted through my consciousness, and I clung to the arms of my office chair as if I were riding a rollercoaster.
That was what it felt like.
As if I were being rocked and flipped and shaken to my core.
My dad took a step back and lifted his chin. “He wouldn’t take the role if it meant hurting you.”
I sat there, blinking at my skirt as I tried to process what my father had said.
His words spun through my mind as I realized what he’d been trying to say. The only thing I can do is trust my gut. Listen to my heart. Pay attention. Intentions may not make themselves known right at the start, but they always reveal themselves in the end.
The same thing as Kaylee had tried to say to me.
Kas was proving himself.
I was the one who’d jumped to conclusions. I was the one who hadn’t trusted. I was the one who’d assumed.
In the end, I was the one who’d failed him.
I was the one who’d let him down.
Horror hit me when I realized it was really me who’d done all the breaking.
I flew to my feet.
“Oh my God, Daddy. What did I do?”
My heart was beating fast as I tried to wade through the relief and love and disappointment in myself, tried to catch back up to this reality.
The reality that Kas had been telling me the truth.
That every touch had been real. That every word had been genuine.
He smiled at me. “Nothing that can’t be fixed.”
“How?” I almost begged.
His grin only grew. “I’ve got an idea.”
Twenty-Five
Kassius
“Kas, I need you meet me ASAP, as in right now. We have a problem with the Calvin Klein contract,” Dom barks into the phone. I let out a sigh and wipe my forehead with a towel. I just finished working out, hoping a long weights session would help me deal with all the shit swirling around in my head.
“Where, your office?”
“No. I’m meeting a client for a late lunch. Can you meet me at the Blue Crescent restaurant off Sunset? I’ll be in a private room in the back.”
“Give me about an hour. I need to shower quick and traffic will be a bitch.”
“I’ll be waiting.” He then cuts the call.
Thankful to have brought a spare set of clothes with me, I quickly shower at the gym, dress, and then rush out to my car. Easing into traffic, I toggle between radio stations, hoping to keep my mind focused on Dom and whatever is going on with the contract. However, at every goddamn red light, I find myself reaching for my phone to see if Elle has texted me. The answer is always the same: No.
It takes almost every minute of that hour I told Dom it would take me, so I pull into the valet and toss the keys to my shitty SUV at the valet driver. “Take good care of it.” I joke as he looks at my car in disbelief. I’m sure he’ll park Rodney—that’s his name—next to some car that costs more than what both of my parents make in two years. That’s L.A. for you. Over the top and pretentious.
I hustle inside, letting the hostess know that I’m here to meet Dom, who’s waiting for me in a private room. She escorts me through the tables and down a dark hallway where various semi-private and private dining rooms line the hall, and we stop at the very last one.
I step inside to find Dom sitting at a large round dining table set for eight, his phone pressed to his ear. He nods at me and points to the chair beside him, his way of telling me to take a seat. I round the table and slide into the chair, where a manila envelope with my name scribbled on the front sits on top of the dinner plate.
“Kas,” Dom says, ending his call and shoving his cell phone into the pocket of his heavily starched white dress shirt. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“What happened to the contract?” I ask, my blood pressure rising. If this contract falls through, I’ll vomit. I just can’t take any more stress this week.
He reaches for the envelope and sets it in front of him, playing with the little metal clasps as he looks at me. “Well, nothing actually happened with the contract, Kas.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, confused. His eyes drop to the envelope and he taps it with his forefinger.
“Well, I brought you here because it seems that there are a few people who would like to talk to you—”
“Me being the first.”
I whip my head around to see Elle walking through the door of the private dining room, her eyes fixed on me, looking as beautiful as ever. I inhale a sharp breath when I see Roger Ward follow her through the door.
“And me too,” Mr. Ward says. “But I think Elle would like to start.” He gestures to her.
My heart races as Elle rounds the table behind Dom and stands next to me. I turn in my chair to get a better look at her, and she reaches for my hand, pulling it into hers. It’s soft and she holds it tightly as if I might try to pull away from her.
Never.
“I made a mistake. A terrible mistake,” she says, her voice trembling. “Kas, I made an assumption about you—”
“It’s my fault,” Dom speaks up, cutting Elle off.
“Partially,” she says, looking at Dom before fixing her eyes back on me. “But I should have trusted you. I should have given you the opportunity to tell me your side of the story. Instead, I read Dominic’s texts and took those as the gospel.”
“Elle—” She holds up a hand to stop me.
“I’m sorry. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me after how awful I’ve been.”
I nod, my emotions stuck in my throat. Fifteen minutes ago, I thought I was never going to talk to her again, I thought my contract with Calvin Klein was on the line, and I turned down the biggest opportunity of my life with Roger Ward. Honestly, I couldn’t give a shit about the movie or Calvin Klein, but Elle, she is what chokes me up.
“I forgive you.” I barely get the three words out.
“Kas, when my dad told me you turned down the role because of me, I was shocked. There is no one in this business that deserves that role more
than you. In fact, there’s no one else in this business who could walk right into that role and own it. It was made for you.” She leans over the table and pulls the manila envelope from Dom’s hands. “This right here is the contract you should have signed yesterday when you accepted the role. The part is yours, and I want you to take it.” She looks at her dad and then to Dom before turning her attention back to me. “We all want you to take it. It’s yours.”
I look to Mr. Ward, who has a smile on his face. “Son, yesterday when you turned down the role in Pulled, I was devastated. Well, stunned is more like it. No one ever turns down a role in my movies.” He chuckles. “But you showed me your integrity, and that is a very rare trait in this business. Now that you and Elle seem to have patched things up—”
My throat is tight and dry. In all my life I’ve never let my emotions get to me like this, but damn it, if those aren’t tears I feel stinging the back of my eyes. I clear my throat and then tip my head back to take a deep, cleansing breath.
I stand and take the envelope from Elle’s hand and toss it onto the table. I pull both of her hands into mine, lacing our fingers together. “I will accept the role on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
I lean in and brush my lips across hers. It doesn’t matter that we are in front of Dom and in front of her dad. I don’t give a shit. “I’ll accept the role as long as I get you.”
A giant smile spreads across her face, and tears form in the corners of her eyes. She bites her bottom lip and barely chokes out, “Deal,” before I pull her into my arms and plant the longest, most possessive kiss on her lips.
She’s mine. As it should be, and I’m never letting her go. Ever.
Roger Ward whistles and Elle pulls back, laughing against my lips. “Let’s celebrate,” he says, his voice boisterous. “And sign that damn contract, son!”
One Wild Ride: A Hollywood Chronicles Novel Page 13